TO DO OR NOT TO DO
by one-blue-eye
Summary: What would happen if when Ianto died, he were sent back into his own timeline and given the chance to change his future? A glimpse into Ianto's Journal as he reruns his life from 18 onward. AU / mostly-Torchwood / future JANTO / tiny DW crossover
1. C0 Summary & Notes

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><p><strong>.<strong>

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**TO DO OR NOT TO DO**

(Book 1)

by

one-blue-eye

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><p><strong>.<strong>

**Summary:** after dreaming of his death at the hands of the 456 Ianto wakes in his own bed … only it wasn't a dream. He has been miraculously transported into his 18 year old body with all his memories intact. But for how long? He must answer the question: what can he change and get away with?

**Warnings/content:** in general don't run with scissors and death happens to the best of us. This story is told from Ianto's (1st person) POV. Contains: SLASH (M/M), sappy-romance-novel-type-ROMANCE, mild-ANGST, SEXUAL TENSION, some-PROFANITY, attempted-HUMOUR, some-Torchwood-y-VIOLENCE, a little cross-over with the 9th & 10th Doctor later on. Individual chapter headings contain content warnings.

**Spoilers:** everything starting with COE, DWS1.11+ and then back to TWS1+ in the following chapters

**Pairings: **Ianto/OMC, Ianto/OFC, Ianto/mortal-Jack, Ianto/immortal-Jack, Jack/OMC, Tosh/Owen

**A/N 1:** A special nod to Jiwa ( u/1899359/Jiw ~ who inspired me to write my own do-over.  
><strong>AN 2:** Chapters are broken into manageable bits but they don't cover the same amount of time, one may cover a year or more while others may cover a day.  
><strong>AN 3:** The APPENDIX will be posted once I've completed the story. It compares his old timeline and his new.

**Disclaimer:** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. All hale RTD, THE BBC and associated minions.

Thank you for reading. I'll post between once a week and every two weeks. All chapters have been re-edited & are now from Ianto's POV. Comments or reviews are always appreciated.

Write-on!  
>one-blue-eye<p> 


	2. C1 No Pyjamas in the Land of the Dead V2

_**1- No Pyjamas in the Land of the Dead**_

**W/C:** 2769  
><strong>Warningscontent:** don't run with scissors, sometimes good people die  
><strong>Summary:<strong> Ianto wakes after a nightmare  
><strong>Ianto's New Timeline:<strong> 08/27/01 – 09/14/01  
><strong>Characters: <strong>Ianto Jones, immortal-Jack Harkness, Inspector Donaldson (OMC), Mary (OFC)

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><p><strong><em>WEEEOOOO WEEEOOOO WEEEOOOO WEEEOOOO WEEEOOOO WEEEOOOO<em>**

The noise was deafening and the flashing red lights were… blinding, distracting… irritating.

My mind was reeling — so many thoughts and none of them helpful — and my stuttering brain was swamped with terror. Useless!

My body froze, waiting while competing drives battled – fight, damn you – shoot them, you have a gun – Jack, Jack, do something – run… run away, now – drag him away, do it – break the glass, kill them – go to the roof – shoot out the door, get out, get out, get out, get out…

But we didn't.

We never do.

We just stood there.

Powerless.

Useless.

Motionless.

Stupid, stupid, stupid…

How is this surprising?

There was nowhere to go.

There was nothing I could do.

I just… stood there, with that stupid, surprised look on my face and a greasy trail of nausea slithering through my guts.

Then everything sped up, my world unpaused and someone turned the volume up unbearably loud. Beside me Jack screamed at our tormentors frantically, "What have you _done_!?"

From the thin pulsing speaker came a calm steady voice. "You wanted a demonstration of war. A virus has been released. It will kill everyone in the building." The voice was so deep, it reverberated in my chest. Bile rose up and coated the back of my throat. I could taste _evil_ in the air. I was choking, choking, choking…

_Oh God, I am going to die. _

One moment, the jaws of death appeared above and below, the next their jagged teeth were gnashing together in front of my eyes.

And then suddenly, I realized I was standing by myself. Jack was gone, gone, gone…

He must have run out of the room but I knew he'd be back.

I'm running out of options, running out of options, running out of options…

I cocked my gun and took aim at the glass case. "If there's a virus, then there must be an antivirus," I shouted hoarsely. "Release it now or I'll blow a hole in that tank. And we'll all die together."

The voice was not concerned. It did not reply.

And then Jack was back. He shouted at the tank, "You've made your point!" he shouted and pleaded, "now stop this and we can talk."

"You are dying… even now," purred the evil, twisted voice.

We started shooting.

We had nothing to lose, nothing to lose, nothing to lose…

We kept shooting until we ran out of bullets. When I looked, there wasn't a single scratch on the glass. We did nothing! The glass was designed according to the alien's specs and was nearly indestructible.

**_REEEEOOOOO REEOOOOREEEE REEEOOOOWWWOOOOEEEE REEEEEEEOOOOOOOOO_**

"What's that noise? What's it doing?" Jack swung around, confused, terrified. He looked around frantically trying to figure out what new hell this noise signalled.

I could see the frequency dial mounted on the equipment, it flipped back and forth. The high-pitched squeal seemed to be scanning frequencies searching for the right one, the deadliest one.

Jack grabbed my arms and looked at me with such desperation. "We've got to get you out of here. I can survive anything but you can't!"

Thoughts flittered by in black and white.

_Has he just realized?_

"Too late," I told him. "I've breathed the air." My voice was calm - almost surreal. He gripped me tighter. Denial and desperation warped his face.

I knew I was going to die, was dying, even as we spoke.

"There's gotta be something!" he insisted. "There's got to be an antidote!" His eyes were red, swollen with unshed tears. He knew I was dying, he just couldn't admit it yet.

"You said you would fight," the evil voice taunted.

A snaking cold slithered up my limbs, the sensation akin to anesthesia.

I thought back to my last surgery.

_Why do they always ask you to count backwards?_

I realized I'd be unconscious soon. Numbness overcame me. I wavered. My body sagged.

He pitched his voice towards to tank, "Then I take it all back," he attempted to retreat. "Alright? I take it back!" He pleaded, begged. "But not him. No!" He caught me in his arms.

_He's always there to catch me when it counts_…

I heard his words and the ones underneath and in between; I hearf him say how much he really cared for me. But they weren't _those_ words, no, never those.

Then I fell.

I couldn't stand.

I couldn't see.

I couldn't breathe.

All I could do was FEEL – the _pain pain pain pain pain pain – the burning in my lungs – and fear fear fear fear fear fear…_

"NO! No – no – no – no!" he begged me. "NOO! Ianto!" He begged me to stop dying.

Then I felt his arms wrap around me – as I lay dying. Our roles were unexpectedly reversed. It was usually him on the ground, dead, dying or resurrecting with my arms, my body wrapped around him, protecting, waiting. How inconvenient. I would have snickered if I hadn't been in so much pain, if I had been able to breathe properly.

"The remnant will be disconnected," the voice declared apropos to what, I don't know. I had no idea what it was talking about. I hoped Jack would think of it later. After he woke up – alone.

_I won't be there to hold him when he gasps back to live…_

_I won't be there to kiss him…_

_I won't be there to laugh with him…_

_I won't be there to keep him from being alone…_

_I won't be there to love him…_

_I won't be there…_

I lay on my back, looking up into his red-rimmed eyes. They were filled and dripping tears, but beautiful, so blue, bluer than the sea, and purer than the finest gemstone. I could live forever in those eyes.

_Let them be the last thing I see. _

He looked at me desperate and searching. "It's all my fault," he sobbed.

"No, it's not," I rasped. I tried to protest but my throat was on fire, spasming and burning as the poison coated my esophagus. It was a_gony._

"Don't speak. Save your breath," he whispered as he stroked my cheek and gently cupped my face. He could see how much pain I was in.

Why couldn't I see it before? Why couldn't I see the love in his eyes? I could _now._ I could feel it in his touch, hear it in his every word, feel it seeping out of his pores, feel it pouring down my face. Perhaps those were my tears, or his. Hard to tell.

I had to tell him. "I love you," I said, each word painfully torn from my throat. I had to tell him before I died.

Across his face, in his eyes, my words danced and for a brief beautiful moment there was a spark and then there was only _pain and sadness. _He knew. He knew I loved him just as he loved me. I've always suspected that he tried desperately NOT to love me. He tried so hard to be alone, to be strong and safe. And this was why. I was going to die. _Now_. And he had to lose me. _Now_. Watch me die. _Now_. He would always be alone. _Now_ and forever.

"Don't," he begged. "Please…don't"

_I know… I understand…_

I know that he heard the words but they didn't sound like a declaration of love; to him they sounded like _goodbye_. _Now._ Because they were. _Now_.

_Here it comes… darkness ... cold ... so cold… I'm afraid…_

He trembled. "Ianto? Ianto? Ianto, stay with me." His voice caught on every word. "Ianto, stay with me _please_." And every word was drenched in love and loss. "Stay with me… _stay with me please. Please_…"

I struggled to open my eyes. I couldn't bear the pain in his voice. I needed to see those beautiful eyes one last time. "Hey," I managed, "It was good ya?" I needed to see him smile one last time.

"Ya." He almost smiled. Almost.

"Don't forget me." I begged. I couldn't bear the thought of being forgotten.

"Never could." His words were strained, from holding back so much emotion and of course he was dying too.

"In a thousand years time, you won't remember me." My greatest fear, my greatest weakness and I just couldn't hold it in. _I'm allowed. Now. I am dying. Now._

"Yes I will. I promise. I will. _Ianto? _Ianto don't go. Don't leave me _please_. Please don't… "

DW**X**TW

I woke up, heart pounding, covered in a cold sweat, in my own bed. In the agonizing aftermath, I lay there suffocating in a dream induced paralysis, gasping for breath, drowning in utter sorrow. _Oh god_, a_ll those children. Oh… Jack._ I moaned inwardly. Thankfully, the sound of my alarm shocked me out of my pitiful reverie. Sitting on the edge of my bed, I ran my hands briskly over my face and silently gave thanks to _the-powers-that-be_ that it was just a terrible dream.

I made it as far as the bathroom before reality came smashing down around me. I stood there looking at myself in the bathroom mirror. My pyjama bottoms were threadbare, ancient, tattered. My eyes shone a little too brightly, long dark hair provided an unpleasant reminder of my bad hair choices of the past but it was my body that shocked me the most. My skin was smooth, smoother than I remembered and there were no lines around my eyes and mouth. I looked so young, I didn't remember ever being so young.

_How is this possible? _I demanded of the mirror._ What the hell is happening to me?_

And then I remembered.

"Oh God…_ Ja..ck_." My voice broke mid-word and it took me several moments to recover enough to think clearly. Before I knew it I was rummaging through the house looking for the newspaper. I knew it _had_ to be impossible but I'd seen and done things that made it all too easy to accept the impossible. It was the day after my birthday and I'd just turned eighteen, **_again._**

I felt ever so close to snapping. My grip on sanity was terribly femmer. I struggled to make sense of my… situation. My horrible dream was _not a dream_.

I was still staring at myself in the mirror, knuckles white and clenched, gripping the sink for more than just stability.

In my mind, I began to replay an Eddie Izzard skit. It was totally random, it had been hilarious the first time but it suddenly took on a whole new meaning. I held the conversation between myself and the grim reaper. I actually did the voices – in my head.

_Can I get some new pyjamas please? I asked politely._

_No pyjamas in the land of the dead… he taunted._

_They said there would be pyjamas! I whined and complained._

_No…no pyjamas for you! he insisted. You're dead._

By this time I was hysterical. I couldn't help the maniacal laughter that burst from my body. I was hiccupping, red-faced and teary-eyed, my heart was pounding double-time and I was slightly queasy.

_I died. I remember. How could I forget? Nothing had ever __**h-u-r-t**__ so much._

Then… the next thing I knew I was laying in my bed, in my own body, my **_younger_** body. I was eighteen again. I had time on my hands now, didn't I?

_Time to make a few changes. _

I was a journaler. It's how I dealt with life, how I processed stressful events. So that's what I did. I started writing frantically, lest I forget. I made two lists, _To Do_ and _Not to Do_.

_._

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><p><em>TW Ianto's Journal TW Ianto's Journal TW <em>

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><p><em>August 19, 2001<em>

**_TO DO:_**

_uni – study Archival sciences, develop self defense skills, computer skills and study criminology._

_Find UNIT?_

_*Be an Archival Expert, your sanity depends on order._

_March 2004 – Do find the Doctor._

_Do find a way to keep tabs on alien activity._

_Always keep a journal: your life depends on it._

_Learn to make amazing coffee, your happiness depends on it._

**_NOT TO DO:_**

_Wait. Do not leave Cardiff, yet. Dad needs you._

_Don't join Torchwood 1. Don't go to London. Bad things happen in London on Christmas._

_I'm a little bit frantic now and entirely desperate to NOT forget all the little things. The little things that make me happy in the future and more importantly I think - what not to do. There are so many things to remember. So many terrible, unnecessary things happened and maybe now I have a chance to make it all right. If I hadn't joined Torchwood One then Lisa wouldn't have died… no, actually, she would. I just wouldn't have been there. And if I don't work for Torchwood then I won't learn about aliens and I won't have any experience and Jack will never hire me. So I guess I had better be careful about what I change. I do want certain things to happen. I just don't want to let… certain other things happen. _

_Such as dying. Such as Tosh dying, especially like that. And Owen too, if I can help it. _

_I can't change everything. I can't make Canary Warf not happen. I can't stop Gray from hunting Jack down. I can't stop Jack from running off with the Doctor. I can however change me, change my experiences, change my thinking, change my skills and abilities and make myself better equipped to deal with all that crap. I just need to be stronger and I need to live. I need to live and be with Jack. I need to meet Jack and fall in love with him because nothing else will ever matter that much. My whole life was just one big practice set, all getting me ready to meet Jack. Phew. I need a drink. Good thing I'm 18._

_First things first. I'll need to make a list of every event I can remember, critical ones of course. I'll need to do it fast, just in case I start to forget. God, I hope I don't forget. Then I need to make a plan. I need to recreate myself so when I do meet Jack, I'll be more than just eye candy to him. I want to be agent material and I know exactly what I need to change._

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><p><em>TW Ianto's Journal TW Ianto's Journal TW <em>

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><p>I filled nearly an entire book that first night. I didn't sleep. I was terrified to forget, afraid that when I woke I wouldn't remember. If I forgot then I'd just do everything the same or worse. So I wrote. I wrote until my fingers bled and I couldn't see. I wrote every single fact I could recall. I could recall a lot. I was an encyclopedia or a database or an archive. Any – <em>all<em> in fact would apply.

I could hear them moving around, getting ready for work in the kitchen and in the bathroom. They'd leave me alone. They were used to my strange moods, my strange habits. They'd just assume I'd developed a new one. Which was fine with me. I'd be starting school soon. I would be moving to res. They'd leave me alone. I could sleep in (or not at all), I could eat anything I fancied (or completely forget to eat or fail to notice my body's hunger all together) and I could bathe as infrequently as any teenage boy did – they just wouldn't notice.

Three journals later I needed to find a secure hiding place. I needed to pee, I needed to eat and I _did _actually need a shower. _Yick!_

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><p><em>TW Ianto's Journal TW Ianto's Journal TW <em>

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><p>.<p>

_August 28, 2001_

_Uni starts next week and I think I'm going to change a few of my courses around. I was a bit timid the first time round. I'm going to kick arse this time. I'm taking a Criminology course along with my Library Studies and Psychology courses. I need to get a part-time job as soon as possible, something useful. I'll not waste any time on a silly retail job, not when I have to cram so many experiences into the next few years._

**_TO DO:_**_ get a job, learn how to shoot a gun, take some Crim courses_

**_NOT TO DO:_**_ no slacking off, don't be weak/timid/afraid/nervous, be brave dammit!_

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><p><em>TW Ianto's Journal TW Ianto's Journal TW <em>

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><p>TW<strong>X<strong>DW

The first week of school was exciting. There were so many opportunities. I'd hardly noticed half of them the first time 'round. I came upon a positing for "weapon's training" in the hallway. I tore off the contact number and vowed to call that evening. I took the first available start date.

I stepped up to the reception desk nervously and the kindly woman welcomed me with a chipper smile. "Good morning." She spoke in a sing-song voice and her smile came through her words.

Instinctively, I smiled back. "Good morning," I said. "I'm here for my first lesson."

"Your name?" She pulled out her clipboard and her ballpoint pen.

"I'm Ianto Jones." I was so nervous. It felt like I'd been lying non-stop since I woke up the day after my birthday. Lying made me feel extremely guilty. I told myself I'd gone undercover. But I still felt guilty whenever I spoke to adults.

"Of course, Mr. Jones." She flashed me her pleasant smile and came out from behind her desk. "Your lane is ready. Come with me and I'll introduce you to the instructor." She motioned for me to follow her.

An uncomfortable silence settled upon us as we walked down the hall. _Politeness and courtesy_, I reminded myself, _they are your weapons_. "Thank you… ah ?"

"Mary," she told me.

"Thank you, Mary." I gave her my grandest smile for her troubles and I followed Mary through the corridors until we arrived at a series of sound proofed rooms.

She poked her head inside the room and called out. "Excuse me, Inspector?"

"Yes, Mary," came the reply. "Come right in." His voice was gruff sounding but he sounded genuinely pleased to see Mary.

"Mr. Jones is here for his first lesson." She held the door open for me and gave me a little push towards the instructor.

"Mr. Jones, welcome!" I was greeted by a grizzly old man with gigantic work roughened hands the size of baseball mitts. He reached out to shake my smooth skinned palm.

"Thank you, love." He winked at Mary as she left but didn't let go of my hand. He continued to shake it vigorously while he spoke to her.

"You two have fun now!" She said over her shoulder.

When he finally did release my hand he asked, "Shall we begin?" and then the Inspector clapped his hands together loudly. He had an expectant look in his eye as he waited patiently for me to find my voice.

"Yes –"I'd jumped at the loud clap and cursed myself inwardly for it. "Yes, please I'm anxious to get started."

"Okay. First thing you'll need is some safety instruction…" He spoke quickly, confidently and I listened to every word he said and tried to absorb every drop of wisdom and knowledge.

After an hour of intensive instruction I was ready to practice on my own. I revelled in the familiar feeling of power that shooting a gun always gave me. The exhilaration was slightly alien to this younger version of my body though. My youth gave me a few distinct advantages: I had way more energy and I learned a lot faster. It seemed like only a fraction of the time was required now before my neuro-motor pathways repeatedly fired and muscle memory was solidified. I could feel it, I was going to be brilliant at this.

My instructor, Inspector Donaldson, was incredibly impressed with my ability to learn quickly and with my accuracy. He was drawn to my younger self and he decided to take me under his wing.

I was a regular at the range. I went several times a week for free practice and once every two weeks for an intensive lesson with the Inspector. The Inspector introduced me to his fellow coppers and I became one of theirs in no time. I flourished among these diverse and positive adult role models; my self-confidence and self-esteem were both nurtured into a more healthy state.

.

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><p><em>TW Ianto's Journal TW Ianto's Journal TW <em>

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><p>.<p>

_September 14, 2001_

_My path has begun to diverge. I can feel the difference in how I see myself already. I haven't really changed much mind you. I've learned a new skill, met some positive role models and I feel good about myself._

_I've only altered one Uni course from what I remember from before. It was a silly option and it never did anything for me anyway. Now I'm taking a Crim course instead and it's so exciting! I'm really good at it too._

_The self-defence course was… interesting. I'm obviously way too weak and skinny. It was a bit terrible actually. I'll need to bulk up. I also need to see to a better diet and I should really start working out regularly. This needs to become my way of life from now on. I need to be strong, healthy, fast and clever. _

_I can do this. I might not be able to change anything other people do but I can change me. _

**_TO DO:_**_ you still need a job, get fit, eat healthy food, get a date for goodness sakes, work out, get stronger before you take that fucking awful self-defence course again, that was pitiful._

**_NOT TO DO:_**_ don't give up_

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><p><em>TW Ianto's Journal TW Ianto's Journal TW <em>

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><p>.<p>

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><p><strong><em>To be continued in… Chapter 2 - Reruns and other Unimaginative Chapters of My Life<em>**


	3. C2 Reruns & Other Unimaginative Chps V2

_**2 – Reruns and Other Unimaginative Chapters of My Life**_

**W/C**: 1474  
><strong>Warningscontent:** sexual innuendo, swearing  
><strong>Summary:<strong> It's the day to day grind; the reruns; that get Ianto down.  
><strong>Ianto's New Timeline:<strong> 10/25/01 – 12/31/01  
><strong>Characters: <strong>Ianto, Inspector Donaldson (OMC), Mary (OFC)

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><p>.<p>

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><p><em>TW Ianto's Journal TW Ianto's Journal TW Ianto's Journal TW<em>

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><p>.<p>

_October 25, 2001_

_._

_**TO DO:**_

_X Go see Dad_

_X uni - study Archival Sciences, Psyc and Criminology_

_X Learn self defense skills, fire arms, computer skills_

_X Get part-time job: library, coffee shop or police station_

_X__ Learn to make great coffee?_

_X__ Stay healthy: eat well, workout, make friends_

_._

_**NOT TO DO:**_

_X Don't fight with Dad or Rhi_

_X Don't be so paranoid_

_X Don't be afraid_

_._

_Reruns are in no way an engaging or stimulating way to spend your life. I'm paranoid and I feel trapped. I can't change things too much but at the same time I'm so damn bored. I can't keep doing this; living this way for months on end never mind for years. I need to start living my life for the present not for some possible future. I need to expand my mind and my experiences. I need a job and a … date._

_._

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><p><em>TW Ianto's Journal TW Ianto's Journal TW Ianto's Journal TW<em>

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><p>.<p>

.

TW**X**DW

.

.

I was pleased with myself when I was offered the job on the spot. I could always talk a good game. Now I just had to practice the perfect cup of coffee and make a few quid while I was at it. I made some great friends while working at the Roastery. It was a local favorite and it was currently swarming with overworked university students desperate for their next fix of caffeine. It was also a great place to meet foxy, if over caffeinated, young men and women.

.

I had developed quite a following over the last month and it made me feel just a little awesome. Today was no different. If I chose, I could flash that smile, the one that came much more easily than it had in the past or the future or whatever we were calling it, and I could have my pick.

.

She was foxy. So foxy in fact that I was drooling quite obviously. She didn't mind at all though which made it all the better. I threw a glance at my co-worker that said _I'm going in, cover me mate_ and then I headed towards her table. She looked so cerebral, sipping her coffee, reading her textbook, taking notes, wearing a tight pink cashmere sweater and those gorgeous dark rimmed librarian glasses…

.

.

TW**X**DW

.

.

Now _that _was a good night. I knew I was good in bed … before … but I wasn't sure if my technique would actually carry-forward. By the gods it really had! Thank you Jack Harkness, once again. I'd thanked Jack numerous times for sex, too many times to count in fact but I had never actually thanked Jack for teaching me how to get someone else off with such … skill. Who knew all that filthy _office desk - back-alley – SUV – any old floor – holding cell - boardroom_ sex would come in handy in my second incarnation?

.

I'd taken to calling it my 'reincarnation' or 'rerun' or 'do over'. It wasn't as if I was chatting to anyone about it but I did talk about it (with myself) when I spoke (muttered) to myself – which was quite often.

.

I wasn't sure if it was my second or hundredth time and I was still trying to understand how it happened. I didn't have much hope of ever finding out at this point and I had almost come to accept that fact.

.

It wasn't all fun and games though … and speaking of games … oh how I missed Jack's games. There were the birthday parties to redo, the exams that were exactly the same as the first time, my sister's annoying habits, the news and even the bloody dreary weather.

.

It was ridiculous.

.

I had no excuse for not excelling at all things academic. There were times – like right in the middle of an important exam – in which I would zone out; lost in my internal ethical debate about whether I should strive to get what I got the first time I did this or whether I should aim for complete mastery. It felt like cheating. I actually felt guilty. Then I'd look up at the clock and realize I only had fifteen minutes left to finish the exam. Ironically, after all that ridiculous moaning, I did worse.

.

So the next time I had a major exam I decided – _fuck it_ – I'm here, might as well kick some arse - as a matter of principle of course – nothing more.

_._

_Guilt. Shmilt._

_._

Ya, whatever, who was I kidding? We all take advantage of our strengths right? Some people have more strengths than others, that's all. So I ended up doing _rather_ well. My profs loved me, said I was 'a model student'. My peers either loved me or totally resented me. I gave the impression that I was a serious student or a super-brain while still having enough hours in a day to have a part-time job, see my family, go out on the town and still have time for personal grooming. It was pretty cool.

.

Yes, I was bored and had little challenge to keep me engaged but it did give me enough time to pursue other avenues of interest.

.

I had a plan.

.

I had lined up a part-time job at the University Library starting January 2002. One can only make coffee for so long. I had all the time in the world to apply for every grant, scholarship, internship and job that I could find. Actually, after this year I would have so much in scholarships that I wouldn't really need a job. I could take a job that paid piss poor that would offer me opportunities for growth, research and contacts.

.

And that's exactly what I did.

.

Inspector Donaldson was a contact worth his weight in gold. He was a friend, a mentor and a source of information. I genuinely enjoyed spending time with him and his cop friends.

.

Usually, the Inspector brought me to 'the club' on the weekends. First, they had a few drinks and then they bitched about work. I just happened to be there. They liked me, they trusted me and they didn't censor their thoughts around me. I was one of the guys.

.

I could always tell when they ran into _one of those_ cases. It was unbelievable that these guys didn't piece it together when it was all there for them to see. Why didn't they see it _**was**_ aliens and monsters and the world _**did**_ almost end more often than anyone would like to believe?

.

Douglas Adams was right - it was all due to _The Other People's Problem Field_.

.

The evidence was there plain as day and the vast majority of people just looked the other way. Perhaps it was the nonchalant way that I always took things in stride that made Inspector Donaldson offer to take me on a series of ride-alongs. I jumped at the chance. It was the _way in_ that I was looking for! The Inspector told me I was _**the stuff good cops are made of**_. I very nearly glowed at the praise and accepted the offer graciously.

.

I also took this time to reach out to my dad. I knew I only had a short time left with which to make peace with the grumpy old bastard. _Bless him_.

.

So I spent my weekends and free time popping by and talking on the telephone with my dad. It was good. It was _nice_. It was a chance few people ever got and I wasn't about to squander it.

.

.

* * *

><p><em>TW Ianto's Journal TW Ianto's Journal TW<em>

* * *

><p><em>. <em>

_December 15, 2001_

_._

_**TO DO:**_

_X Ring Dad – thank him for lunch_

_X Read computer skills book_

_X__ Workout_

_X__ Give notice at Roastery – quit date?_

_._

_**NOT TO DO:**_

_X Don't blab at the club – just listen!_

_X Don't screw up any more exams!_

_._

_Went out to lunch with dad today. We had a great time! I can't remember the last time we actually had such a great conversation. He told me he was proud of me. He never said that before. I was speechless. It was either that or I'd have cried like a girl. _

_._

_I need to stop second guessing myself. I've screwed up two exams in the last month because of it. Damn Catholic guilt. It'll be the end of me. I'm going to pick up a couple of Christmas gifts this weekend for the kids. I love being an uncle, especially at this time of year._

.

* * *

><p><em>TW Ianto's Journal TW Ianto's Journal TW<em>

* * *

><p>.<p>

.

My relationship with my sis started to defrost as well since we ended up spending more time together as a result of my impromptu visits. Her confusion and resentment slowly melted away and we actually started to enjoy each other's company for the first time in our lives. It was a blessing; a reprieve to the unending unimaginative chapters that characterized my daily life.

.

* * *

><p><em><strong>To be continued in … Chapter 3.1 – Awakenings of the Mind<strong>_

_**Check out the APPENDIX to compare Ianto's timelines but beware of spoilers**_


	4. C3,1 Awakenings of the Mind V2

_**3.1 -**__** Awakenings of the Mind**_

**W/C:** 1465  
><strong>Warningscontent:** swearing (almost always), mentions of bullying, chapter is short  
><strong>Summary: <strong> Ianto undergoes a series of awakenings. He finds meaningful work that may be beneficial in the future. His true friends stand by his side. He realizes he has become a different man.  
><strong>Ianto's New Timeline:<strong> 01/03/02 – 12/xx/02  
><strong>Characters:<strong> Dora, Mrs. Inglesten, Colin, Bryce

* * *

><p>.<p>

.

* * *

><p><em>TW Ianto's Journal TW Ianto's Journal TW Ianto's Journal TW<br>_

* * *

><p><em>.<em>

_January 3, 2002_

_._

_I'm starting my job at the library tomorrow. I'm looking forward to it. I need to feel useful. Eventually, I'll have good access to the restricted materials section. Plus, a little order in all this chaos wouldn't hurt any. Hopefully they have a decent coffee machine. _

_**.**_

_**TO DO:**__ lunch with dad, be healthy, take that fucking awful self-defence course again, buy a new coffee machine, __more sex_

_**.**_

_**NOT TO DO:**__ stop saying hi to people you haven't met yet, do not go near the Plas, don't fuck this up_

_.  
><em>

* * *

><p><em>TW Ianto's Journal TW Ianto's Journal TW <em>

* * *

><p>.<p>

.

"And this is Mrs. Inglesten, one of our senior archivists." Dora, my new boss really meant it when she said she'd introduce me to everyone. We'd been at this for hours. Good thing I had an exceptional memory. There was no way anyone _normal_ would be able to retain all of these names.

At first, I thought maybe this was a test of sorts but it seemed less and less likely as the hours passed. Apparently, there was very little to do at this time of day. Everyone was either already taking a break or on their way to the break room. The library was staffed mostly by little old ladies, several prim young ladies with one or two guys my age. It was quiet and orderly and absolutely lovely.

.

"Mrs. Inglesten, how nice to meet you." She had the look of someone whose good graces would make or break your existence. It was best to make fast friends with this one. She gave me a once over and I flashed her my sweetest smile. She took my hand and gave me a warm welcome.

.

My job was simple. Help the students with their research. Help them find their topics, book their study rooms, order or locate journals or books as needed. Essentially, I was paid to do what I did best, which was helping others so they could do their best.

.

I saw plenty of my old regulars from the Roastery and they tended to look at me with wistful expressions. They missed my coffee and more than a few of them missed flirting with me on a daily basis.

.

.

* * *

><p><em>TW Ianto's Journal TW Ianto's Journal TW<em>

* * *

><p><em>.<em>

_January 30, 2002_

_._

_The internship has finally come through. I can't believe it. The Inspector must have pulled some strings and called in a bunch of favours. And the best thing is – I'm going to get __credit__ for it. It's ridiculous. It's ridiculously awesome is what it is. I'm blown away. I start next Monday. The only downside is that he's enrolled me in that bastard self-defence course again and I'll be joining in about half way into the semester. I'm going to get my ass kicked. __Thoroughly._

_**.**_

_**TO DO:**__ see dad on Tuesday night, read the damn book for that fucking awful self-defence course - again, weight training every day this week, buy new track pants_

_**.**_

_**NOT TO DO:**__ don't call that foxy bird again – she's too high-maintenance, don't forget Rhi's party!_

_.  
><em>

* * *

><p><em>TW Ianto's Journal TW Ianto's Journal TW<em>

* * *

><p><em>.<em>

.

What I didn't know was just how easy it had been for Inspector Donaldson to convince his superiors to set up my Criminology Internship. They all liked me and respected me. In fact, Inspector Donaldson clearly wasn't the only one who felt a sense of paternal affection towards me.

.

He knew I was dreading the self-defence course but I'd been working out, lifting weights and eating right for months now. I was ready whether I knew it or not. The only glitch was having to walk into the class part way through the semester. He'd have a chat with the class and explain the situation. He'd make sure they weren't twats about it.

.

.

TW**X**DW

.

.

"Colin, this is your new sparring partner. Ianto's a good friend of mine so make sure you take good care of him. Have fun." He called the words over his shoulder and winked before he walked away.

.

"Right. So, no pressure then?" He muttered as the Inspector sauntered off.

.

"Don't worry. I'm sure he's mostly kidding. Anyways, it's nice to meet you." I extended my hand.

.

"Like wise. So are you a new recruit?" Colin had a gorgeous smile, sexy lips and a rock-hard body that was covered with streamlined muscles.

.

"Ah. No. Actually. I've been invited to join the course as a part of my Criminology Internship."

.

"Really? I've never heard of that before."

.

"Ya. It's a bit irregular."

.

"Well, it doesn't matter to me. You are about three months behind though. Have you done any hand to hand before?"

.

"A bit. But I'm … extremely rusty."

.

Inspector Donaldson bellowed from the front of the room and all eyes promptly snapped towards him. "Alright people settle down. We have a new student joining us today. His name is Ianto Jones and he's doing his internship in Criminology with us. Please make him welcome. Today, we'll be doing some drills, a bit of sparring and some holds. You have your lists so let's get started."

.

.

TW**X**DW

.

.

I rummaged in my locker; paying little attention to the happenings around me. There were several Student Officers talking nearby in front of an open locker. I'd met them before. We had several classes together. They didn't seem to like me very much though. They were a bit rude and collectively seemed to be carrying a rather large chip on their shoulders. They were the 'we're cooler 'cause we've been here longer' crowd and they definitely didn't like the fact that I was here on a _mere_ internship. After several minutes of chatter the crowd finally dissipated. Then the ring-leader sauntered over. He obviously had something on his mind.

.

So I slammed my locker shut and turned to face him with as much 'fuck you' attitude affixed to my face as I could muster. I stood up tall, crossed my arms and leaned casually up against the locker.

.

"What?" I just waited for what was sure to be a _'challengingly cerebral conversation.'_

.

I wasn't sure if it was the slammed locker door or the snarky 'what?' but Bryce looked shocked and stopped short. He looked at me with beady eyes and had forgotten to close his mouth which was gaping open unattractively.

.

"You're a right prick."

.

"Am I." My's words were dripping with derision.

.

"Ya. You are. You don't belong here. You just pulled in a load of favors. You haven't earned anything!" He was actually getting red-faced.

.

No one noticed when Colin came into the locker room. He'd heard the tail end of Bryce's little rant but had decided to stay hidden at the end of the row. Colin decided to just listen – _for now_.

.

"I'm an intern … you twat. Do you know what that is?"

.

"Ya." But by the uncertain look on his face, he really didn't have a clue.

.

"It m..e..a..n..s … that. I'm. a. student."

.

"So!"

.

I sighed and gave him a pitiful look that should have been accompanied with a '_there, there' _and a little pat on the head. "So… I'm not about to steal your job or anything."

.

"You couldn't even if you wanted to.."

.

"So what's your problem then?" I snapped, cutting off his last word.

.

"You shouldn't be here." He was losing some of his fiery zeal.

.

"Ianto! Inspector Donaldson is looking for you!" Colin had had enough of the _idiot_ _brigade_ and decided that it was time to interrupt.

.

"Hi, Colin." I smiled at him indulgently. "Did he say what he wanted?"

.

"No. He just said it was important and sent me to fetch you." Colin gave me a friendly smile.

.

"Right. Well, _we're_ done here. It was a real pleasure." I flashed my best fake smile at Bryce, picked up my bag, turned and left with Colin.

.

Once we were out of ear shot I chuckled. "What a prick. I guess there has to be one in every crowd." I just shook my head in disgust. It was irritating _– yes_ – but I wasn't actually upset about that idiot's rather ridiculous attempt to slap me down. But deep down I knew I would have been – _the_ _first_ _time_ _round_. But now, I was a different guy; I was confident and self-assured. I couldn't care less about that chump and his opinion.

.

Colin wasn't sure if he should be concerned. If it were him, he might've been a bit put off. "Ah…Ianto? What exactly did he say?"

.

"Oh…he was just mouthing off. He's a bully. He's just afraid of anything or anyone that's different. Nothing to be concerned about." I smiled reassuringly.

.

"Okay. If you say so." He was going to keep an eye on that guy just the same.

.

"So the Inspector didn't really want to see me did he?"

.

"Nope. Not at all."

.

I stopped. I grinned and then asked, "so where are we going?"

.

"My friend," Colin leaned in, wrapped an arm around me, "I'm going to buy you dinner. Sound good?"

.

"Sounds great," I told him.

.

Colin had no intention of letting it go. He had every intention however of dropping a little hint to the Inspector that Bryce had been a nasty little prick to me. Colin thought, _he doesn't even have to know_.

.

.

* * *

><p><strong><em>To be continued ... Chapter 3.2 - Awakenings of the Body<em>**


	5. C3,2 Awakenings of the Body V2

_**3.2 - Awakenings of the Body**_

**W/C:** ~7000  
><strong>Warningscontent**: naughty dirty sexy sex, swearing, angst  
><strong>Summary<strong>: Ianto undergoes a series of awakenings. He explores his sexuality.  
><strong>Ianto's New Timeline<strong>: 01/03/02 – 12/xx/02  
><strong>Characters:<strong> Ianto, Colin, Inspector Donaldson

* * *

><p>.<p>

.

"Just … put your hand … there."

.

"I … don't …"

.

"Here. Wrap your fingers around the bottom of my hand and then press your thumb here …"

.

"Like this?"

.

"Ahh! Yep. You've got it now."

.

"Damn. That's a hard one to find. How the hell am I supposed to find that on an attacker?" I whined. "_Excuse me sir, bear with me while I find the most painful nerve junction in your wrist._ Not bloody likely! We've been doing this for months! I should have it down by now. I'm shit at this." I was in a piss poor mood. I sucked at this.

.

"Don't worry Ianto, you'll get faster. Nobody learns as quickly as you do." Colin couldn't help chuckling at my childish pout which only made me scowl more fiercely. It was true that I usually picked things up freakishly fast but I was having a bit of trouble with grappling and holds.

.

"How are you two doing on the wrist hold? Ianto? Everything okay?" Inspector Donaldson didn't bother trying to hide his affection for me anymore. We'd been friends for over a year now and it was generally accepted by officers and cadet's alike that we socialized in and out of the office. After a closer look though he saw the annoyed scowl currently distorting my face and his own expression turned to one of concern.

.

Colin quickly explained, "He's just frustrated, Sir. He's having trouble finding the nerve junction. He just needs more practice, that's all."

.

My eyes knowingly passed between the two and I thought I could hear a slightly defensive tone in Colin's voice. Apparently, there was a little more pressure involved in being my partner than I realized. Inspector Donaldson was eyeing Colin sharply.

.

"Actually, Colin's a really good teacher and he's extremely patient with me. And apparently I need a great deal of patience." My scowl transformed into a rueful smile and I patted Colin on the shoulder to emphasize my point.

.

"Good. Good to hear." He smiled at Colin briefly then he looked at me "You might want to study the anatomical structure of the wrist tonight Ianto. It'll help you visualize." The Inspector suggested.

.

"Okay. Good idea. Thanks, Inspector."

.

He just nodded and smiled warmly as he began to move towards the next pair.

.

Colin hadn't realized he was holding his breath so he was slightly embarrassed when he gasped for breath. I pretended not to notice and Colin was extremely grateful.

.

"Colin, I … I hope you don't mind being my partner … "I held up a hand to forestall his immediate denial. "I know he's being extra demanding of you because of it. I just wanted to say thanks for being so patient. I only feel like an idiot about half the time…" I grinned and looked at him warmly.

.

Colin smiled back and threw his arm around my shoulder before he spoke. "Ianto, I'm glad we're partners. It's a pleasure, really. Besides you just make me study harder … all those questions … it's good for me."

.

"Thanks."

.

"All right that's time! See you all tomorrow." Inspector Donaldson's voice thundered to the class. He watched as his students filed haphazardly out the door and made their way to the locker room.

.

"Ianto, are you coming to the club tonight?" The Inspector usually picked me up at my place on the way there.

.

"Ah … ya … if that's okay? I was looking forward to it."

.

"Great. It's poker night. Pick you up at 8."

.

"Alright. See you later," I called.

.

We were making our way towards the showers when Colin blurted out his question. "So … do you usually … _uhm_ … go to the club _together_?" Colin hadn't been able to figure out our relationship yet. However, we'd been working closely together on a daily basis for over three months so he'd decided it would be okay to ask me outright.

.

"Ya, he always picks me up. I don't drive very often. I'm on the way, so he says it's no big deal." I answered offhandedly while I was rummaging around in my locker.

.

"No. I mean _together_, together." Colin tilted his head and shrugged his shoulders ruefully.

.

"Oh!" I shook my head and blew out a hissing breath. "I can see how you might assume that but it's not … we're not together. We're friends. He's … like my mentor? Ya know?"

.

"I'm so sorry Ianto." He apologized quickly. "I didn't mean to imply that you are … _gay_ or … anything like that." Colin's heart was racing and his face was flushed red with anxiety. He really didn't want to destroy his friendship with me. He really liked me … a lot.

.

I cocked my head slightly trying to read Colin's distress. I had a feeling Colin was more _into me _than he was letting on but the matter of sexual preference had never come up before.

.

Colin's eyes were rapidly darting around the room; on everything but me. So I stepped towards him and angled myself so Colin couldn't help but look me in the eye. Since we were just about to head for the showers we were both only wearing towels around our waists.

.

"Listen … _uhm_ … Colin I know we've never talked about this before and I may be out of line. Hell, you probably don't want to _know_ this much about me but a good friend of mine taught me to take life by the horns." I chuckled and leaned up against the cold metal locker. "He also taught me that we don't need to …" I sighed. I was worried about how Colin was going to react to my declaration. "… fit ourselves into such … restrictive categories when it comes to sexuality."

.

Colin was staring at me intently. Confusion and anxiety were plain on his face but there was a little something else there as well. "Ahh … what do you mean?"

.

"You're not making this very easy."

.

"I'm sorry; I'm not trying to be obtuse. I just … don't know what you mean. Really."

.

"Fair enough. But first I want to be clear; I'm not coming on to you. You're my friend and I just want to be honest with you."

.

"Okay." Colin was standing very straight and he wore a tight smile that didn't quite reach his eyes.

.

"Before, when you asked me if I was with the Inspector, I think I may have given you the wrong idea. I wasn't offended or anything like that when you suggested we were together because I've been with men before. I've also been with women. I like them both. So … do you understand me now?"

.

"Definitely. You are just friends with the Inspector and you … are bi."

.

"Okay, close enough. Are we alright?"

.

"Ya. Why wouldn't we be?"

.

"Most guys would be freaking out right about now."

.

"Well, maybe …" He pursed his lips and carefully looked to the left and then to the right ensuring we were alone before he continued. "Maybe I'm more flexible than most guys."

.

"Good to know." I couldn't help but grin. I pushed away from the locker and for just a second dipped right into Colin's personal space bubble. I grabbed my shower bag and started walking towards the showers.

.

Colin stood stunned for a moment and then followed quickly behind.

.

By the time Colin got there I was already soaping up and rinsing off. I was facing towards the wall and it probably looked like I had my eyes closed. Colin chose the shower stall on the other side of a short partition.

.

His eyes seemed to have a mind of their own. They kept wandering towards the soapy young man next to him. His eyes trailed down the smooth curve of my spine down past my waist. Without meaning to he found himself checking out my firm, nicely shaped arse and he quickly closed his eyes. _Fuck_ he thought _I'm getting a damn hard-on!_

.

The more he tried to avoid looking at my wet soapy body the more his own body responded. He quickly turned away so that his back was to me. Seeing no other alternative, he turned the hot water dial off. He was immediately struck by a wall of freezing cold water. The pain took him by surprise and he let out a strangled yelp against all his better judgement.

.

"You okay? What's wrong? You run out of hot water?" I had purposely turned towards the wall and averted my eyes. I'd been certain Colin would turn tail and run home when I'd headed for the shower. I was extremely surprised when I heard him come around the corner. I'd been struggling to not think of Colin; naked, wet and soapy, standing way too close. Then I heard Colin shout and I my eyes flew open. Colin had his back to me and he looked tense and … was he shaking?

.

"Yep. Sorry. I must have turned it the wrong way." Colin held himself in the stream of freezing water until his hard-on shrank away. Then he stepped out of the water and reset the temperature. He was still turned away from me. He couldn't trust himself to not steal a peak of my tempting body.

.

"Seriously. Colin? Are you okay? I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable before. I really didn't mean to fuck things up."

.

"No. Ianto you didn't fuck things up. And don't apologize. Never apologize for being forthright." He still couldn't bring himself to turn around and face me.

.

Neither one of us spoke. Colin concentrated on warming his now shivering body up to a decent temperature. I on the other hand, made the mistake of keeping my eyes open. I found myself admiring Colin's broad shoulders, his well-muscled arms. Then my eyes roamed down his curved spine, over his gorgeous arse and finally they caressed his long lean legs. I groaned and turned away before Colin could catch me starring open mouthed at his luscious curves.

.

Colin was still acutely aware of my presence and he thought he heard me groan. Colin chanced a quick look and caught me in the process of turning around with my eyes clenched shut and hands spread out over my groin. It looked suspiciously like I was trying to hold down an erection. _Holy shit, _he swore_. Maybe I'm not the only one._

.

Colin cleared his throat before he spoke. "Ianto?"

.

"Yes." I didn't turn around.

.

"Before. You said … you weren't coming on to me." He sounded hesitant, unsure.

.

"Yes." I still didn't turn around.

.

"Does that mean you already have someone?" His voice was a bit quiet, nervous.

.

"What? No. I don't." I turned and caught the look in Colin's eyes; questioning and hopeful. _How interesting_, I thought_._

.

"Good." Colin was working extremely hard at only looking at my face. He smiled and this time it did reach his eyes.

.

I smiled back. When I spoke this time there was humour laced through my voice. "So, maybe it wasn't such a good idea to say that just before we had a shower."

.

Colin laughed so hard he had to bend over and brace himself on the wall. "Ya. You're probably right," he agreed.

.

We finished our shower up quickly and made our way back to our lockers. Every few minutes someone was caught subtly stealing a glance at each other's bodies. We didn't say much but there were chuckles and grins. Once we both had trousers safely on I decided to test the waters.

.

Colin was sitting on the bench trying to put his socks and shoes on. I sat down next to him letting our thighs brush lightly against each other. Colin's hands stopped momentarily but when I didn't do anything else he resumed tying his shoes. Colin sat up slowly unsure of his next move. He bit his lip and looked at me.

.

"You always do that when you're deciding what to do. You have a _bad_ poker face." My voice was husky and low.

.

It sent shivers through Colin's body and made his cock twitch. "Do what?" he demanded. "I'm good at poker, thank you very much."

.

"You have _a tell_. You bite your lip." I told him playfully.

.

"I do not," he protested indignantly.

.

I nodded. "I'm afraid so." He was so much fun to tease.

.

"Damn. No one's ever mentioned that before."

.

"They probably didn't want you to stop. It's pretty sexy." My eyes were smoky, my voice was raspy with desire and my body was tingly with anticipation.

.

Colin's mouth parted and his heart started its way up his throat. "Really?" he replied in a low breathy voice.

.

"Absolutely." I smirked and shifted a few centimeters closer.

.

Colin's mouth was now drier than he ever imagined possible. He swallowed loudly and shook his head in self-disgust. _God, how embarrassing_. "I've a … never … kissed a guy before," he whispered. He kept his eyes slightly downcast and struggled with composure.

.

"Wanna give it a try?" We were so close. My breath was warm against his cheek.

.

He turned his face until our noses nearly brushed against each other. He bit his lip again and finally met my blue eyes. Then his eyes sought out my slightly parted lips and he leaned in.

.

Our lips brushed tentatively causing a chain reaction of radiating warmth that began at our lips and spread outwards; leaving nerve endings alive and tingling.

.

I pulled away and gently stroked Colin's jaw with my fingertips. I whispered; my breath caressing Colin's mouth making him ache for another kiss. "Colin, I don't think this is the best place. I get the feeling you'd rather not be caught kissing me here? Am I right?"

.

"Oh, shit." He tensed and looked around furtively. "Ya, you're right. I'm sorry but you're right. I've got to work here." Colin moved away stiffly - regretfully - but he quickly grabbed my hand and squeezed it warmly. "Ianto? Let's grab dinner?" His tone was hopeful and a little apologetic.

.

"Sounds good."

.

We finished getting dressed and spent the rest of the afternoon walking around aimlessly until we found a suitably cheap hole-in-the-wall pub for dinner.

.

"I love this place. They have the best deep-fried cheese." He was famished and flushed from our afternoon of sexual tension.

.

"Do they have food? You know … vegetables?"

.

"I … I have no idea. I'll get a menu." Colin was still grinning like a loon when he handed me the menu.

.

"So are you a health freak or something?"

.

"Huuuh." I sighed loudly with mock disapproval. "I need to stay in shape and that means eating healthy food. But I am not a health freak," I protested.

.

"Just kidding." He wasn't sure whether I was actually annoyed at him or not and he didn't want to insult me for being good to my body. _Phew and what a body he has_, he thought.

.

"I know," I told him quickly. "You should try some green food though. It'll make a difference in your energy levels." My mind fell right into the gutter and the naughty smile that danced across my face declared it to the world.

.

Colin just happened to be taking a swallow of beer when I made my naughty face. The mouthful of beer almost made it across the table. His eyes began to water and he began gasping for breath. When his choking subsided he gave me a look that said _I'll get you back for that!_

.

"Sorry," I apologized quickly. "You okay? Need any CPR? I'm fully qualified." That naughty glint was still dancing in my eyes.

.

"Maybe later," he said suggestively through his mild coughs.

.

"Counting on it," I told him.

.

"Cheeky bastard. Energy levels? What the hell are you talking about?"

.

"You know… stamina?" My lips twitched slightly.

.

"That's what I thought you meant. You have a dirty mind." He pretended to be shocked but he was enjoying our little dance just as much as I was.

.

"What? Me? I'm talking about lasting through the day at _work_ without feeling tired. I don't know what _you're_ talking about!"

.

"Oh right. Of course you are. My bad."

.

The friendly banter and sexual innuendoes continued for several hours. We'd had several beers and several types of green food by the time we left the pub. Colin convinced me to walk him home. We both had the same thing on our minds; finding someplace private. Our first kiss left us both needing more.

.

Colin led the way up to his flat and unlocked the door. He didn't even wait to see if I followed him in. He went straight to the kitchen and turned on the kettle then went back to the entrance. He took my jacket and hung it up next to his. "I'm making some tea. You want?"

.

"Sure. I want very much." I said softly and carefully.

.

Colin tilted his head and took a deep breath. Then he was pressing against my chest; hands on my shoulders, lips hovering. I captured his mouth and set out to devour him. Colin was coming undone under my thorough ministrations. He was struggling to remember where we were and this he realized was just from kissing me. Hands slid over and under clothes eliciting wanton moans. When I pressed my erection up against Colin's thigh he gasped in surprise. I stopped kissing him then remembering the first time I felt another man's hard-on.

.

"You okay? Need a minute?" I steadied myself with a few deep breaths. "Maybe, I should go. Do you want me to go?" I asked at last.

.

Colin shook his head and pressed his lips together. "No. Don't go … but … I'm gonna make some tea. Ya?" He nodded and bit his lip in the most delectable way.

.

"Sounds good. Let's … just take it slowly," I suggested.

.

"Yes. Thanks."

.

Once his mind cleared enough to allow thought to resume, Colin busied himself with making tea. I sat myself down at the table and tried to decide what to do.

.

"Are you coming tonight?" I asked casually.

.

"Wh .. what?" he sputtered in confusion.

.

"To the poker game." I chuckled.

.

"Ha," he snorted. "Yes, if you don't mind."

.

"No, of course not." _God, he's on edge_, I thought.

.

Colin brought two cups of steaming tea to the table and sat across from me. "So how the hell are we going to keep it together in public?" he asked. "I can barely think straight," he admitted ruefully. "And I don't think I can have a shower at the gym anymore if you are there."

.

"Why?" I sounded a little hurt.

.

"Oh," he snorted. "I can't seem to keep my eyes to myself." He grinned and the guilty expression told me what I needed to know.

.

"Actually, neither can I," I told him. "It would be extremely embarrassing if the other guys were there. I don't think they'd appreciate having to shower with a couple of guys with hard-ons."

.

"I've never found … guys attractive before," he confessed. "I don't know how this happened. Did I just switch teams all of a sudden?" He was confused and apprehensive. He'd been brainwashed his whole life like most, to believe there was something wrong with him – with us.

.

"Listen Colin, there's nothing wrong with you. Don't think of it as being on a team. Sometimes it's the person and it doesn't matter what sex they are; you're just attracted to them."

.

"Ianto, you are way braver than anyone I know."

.

"I'm not," I confessed. "Really, I can be such a coward."

.

"I don't believe that."

.

We became lost in thought and neither one of us spoke for a few minutes while we drank our tea.

.

"I meant what I said before about taking it slow?" I assured him. "I think you need to be the one to set the pace. Okay?"

.

Colin nodded and said, "Okay, thank you … I think."

.

I just smiled knowingly.

.

The Inspector was due to pick me up at home within the next hour and a half. We needed to figure out the logistics of the evening. "So, should I go home and get picked up there or?"

.

"No. I'll drive us," he said quickly.

.

"Then I'd better call the Inspector and let him know." I took out my phone. He didn't answer so I decided to send him a text instead.

_._

_Having dinner _

_with Colin. He_

_will drive me_

_tonight. Meet_

_you there. _

.

"Oh shit," Colin blurted his eyes wide and fearful.

.

"What's wrong?"

.

"I just realized something. Is he going to freak out? The Inspector?"

.

"No. Why would he?"

.

"Well, he seems kind of overly protective … of you. And I don't fancy getting shot."

.

"Don't worry about that," I laughed. "He's met … other people I've dated before. He'll be fine," I promised.

.

"Who have you introduced him to?" He'd asked reflexively, as you would a friend. "Sorry, that was way too nosey." He apologized quickly. "Forget I asked." He back-pedaled looking embarrassed and uncomfortable.

.

"No. No. That's alright. I've brought a few people around the club. Three, actually. Ah … a couple of girls and a guy I dated for a few months. He was totally cool about it. So were the other cops by the way."

.

"Really? I have a hard time believing that." He drank the rest of his tea, now cold. "I am so dead…" Colin was imagining an impromptu firing squad or perhaps a nice lynching. He gave himself nice _thwap_ on the forehead for good measure.

.

"Don't worry. It'll be fine. Like I said … you set the pace … you … decide how we … act in public. It's up to you," I told him. "However you want it to be is fine with me."

.

"You must think I'm a total coward. I feel really bad about panicking at the gym. It's just that I don't know … what this is … and I'd rather have some time to figure that out before I need to explain it to other people."

.

"Listen Colin, I completely understand. You've got to believe me. I've been here, in this exact place. I really do understand. And I'm not mad or insulted or hurt. I can be patient. Trust me."

.

"I do Ianto," he assured me.

.

"Let's get going. I fully intend on beating the pants off you tonight!"

.

"Ianto!" he exclaimed with mock scandal.

.

"Sorry. Couldn't help myself. Besides, it's just a figure of speech!"

.

"Ya, right."

.

.

TW**X**DW

.

.

"Ante up Ianto!" Inspector Donaldson always enjoyed a good game of poker with me even though I played like a shark. It was great fun watching the other cops lose. _That's what you get for underestimating my mate_ he thought.

.

The Inspector caught Colin's attention before he spoke. "You'll never guess who tried to invite himself to the club tonight."

.

Colin had no idea. He just shrugged. "I have no idea. Who?"

.

"That _Bryce_ guy. He's a bit of a twat if you ask me. It'd drive me crazy if I had to sit through an hour of him prattling on about himself - never mind a whole night."

.

_Bryce? Why was the Inspector talking about Bryce? And why was he talking to Colin about him?_

_._

It seemed that I wasn't the only one keeping secrets. Colin's face was a bit too pink and he avoided making eye contact with me for several minutes. Inspector Donaldson on the other hand, was nearly gleeful. He was obviously enjoying a private joke.

.

The game went well into the night and the atmosphere was at times tense and then the whole lot of them would break down into chuckles. Over all it was a good group. They were competitive but they were also good losers when need be.

.

Inspector Donaldson was out for the next round. He wanted a chance to sit back and observe. He noticed something he'd never noticed before. Colin was acting funny. He was jumpy and nervous and his face was flushed like he was scared or embarrassed. _The kid's acting plain weird_, he mused. He thought I on the other hand was exuding a strange mix of confidence and mischievousness. And earlier when we took a break from the game he thought he saw me flirting with Colin. _No, _he thought_. Couldn't be_.

.

I folded and I bowed out of the next round. Colin suggested a drink and I followed him to the bar. The Inspector waited until we'd placed our orders and then sauntered up slowly behind us. _Yep,_ he thought _that was definitely an intentional brush of the hand_. _You've got to hand it to the kid; _he added to himself_ he has no compunctions about going for what he wants … be it female or male apparently_. He didn't mind either way. Actually, he found it kind of refreshing how nonchalant I'd been about bringing my dates to the club. Nobody batted an eye when I brought that pretty fella around and nobody would say a bad thing about me behind my back either. They thought I was a solid kid. They all liked me. And if I liked both men and women well then all the power to me. He could still have a little fun though. He felt it was his duty as my friend.

.

"What ever happened to beating the pants off me?" Colin teased suggestively.

.

"Listen, if we were playing strip poker I'd have you buck naked by now…" I retorted with confidence.

.

"_Ahem_…you two boys having fun?" Inspector Donaldson had slithered up behind us without either of one noticing.

.

"Ah! Uh … yes sir. Very fun." Colin stumbled through his reply.

.

"Good, glad to hear it." He grinned at Colin; he was in prisoner interrogation mode. "Ianto you're doing pretty well tonight but I get the feeling your heart's just not in the game. You seem a little distracted? Everything okay?" His voice was as smooth as silk; the kind of voice best used for lulling your pray into a false sense of security.

.

"Yes, Inspector. I'm great. Thanks for asking. How about you? You having a good time?" _Deflect him – distract him – divert him away from Colin_, my inner-defender screamed.

.

"Well, I've lost all my money so I'm done playing for the night," he admitted. "I've been enjoying the show though." He leaned up against the bar, arms crossed. His grin had taken on a shark-like quality; gleaming predatorily in the dim lighting.

.

"The show? What show are you talking about sir?" Colin was very afraid he knew exactly which show the Inspector was referring to.

.

"Oh, you know … the Ianto and Colin show. You two are pretty subtle but unfortunately for you I've spent a lot of time observing Ianto and I know something's up." He was so pleased with himself for figuring it out. Typical cop.

.

I snapped to attention and almost leap the distance between us. "Inspector, you're the devil and you know it," I accused him. "So, be nice, please. You're going to give Colin a stroke." I muttered the last part and pitched it so that the Inspector heard it and Colin didn't.

.

"Oh, I'm just joking. Can't an old fella like me have a little bit of fun? Just thought I'd throw a warning shot over the bow." He looked directly at Colin who looked like he was currently calculating the possibility of returning to the womb.

.

I could only smirk and shake my head. But after glancing at Colin's throbbing forehead vein I promptly bit my lip and tried to look conciliatory.

.

"You two be good now. See you tomorrow." He turned on his heel and made to leave but it seemed he had something else to say. "Oh and Ianto," he walked up to stand between the two of us, placed a hand congenially on both our shoulders and then said quietly, "try not to break him. I need him to be able to work tomorrow." He gave us a huge, almost gleeful smile and promptly left us standing there frozen in place.

.

I didn't dare glance at Colin's face or dare say anything for that matter.

.

He didn't even move for a whole minute. Speechless was an inadequate word for Colin's current state of mind.

.

I turned towards the bar and swiftly picked up both our drinks. I put a glass in each of Colin's hands and then pulled him towards the patio. I closed the door behind us and pulled Colin to the furthest corner. "Drink," I commanded "drink it all, if you can."

.

Colin complied and drank his rather large scotch without a second thought. I took the empty glass away and set it on the nearest table. I looked pointedly at the other and gave Colin an emphatic nod. Again, he complied with nary any hesitation.

.

"Okay, now I need you to breath. It's really important. Oh, and give me your keys. Obviously, I'm driving." When Colin continued to stand immobile and slightly glassy eyed I reached into his jacket pocket and took his keys. He didn't flinch or argue. _Oh shit. You bastard look what you've done. Why? Why do you have to be such a fucker? Colin did not need this_.

.

"Colin … I'm so sorry. I'll go back in there now and give him a piece of my mind if you want. I'm right pissed. He's such a shit disturber. He had no right to do that…"

.

Colin held up a hand and cleared his throat. "No. Stop. Don't do anything. He was just fucking about. And I'm fine now. But … can we please get the hell out of here." His voice was steady, too steady.

.

"Absolutely." We left out the side door and took the long way back to the car. I figured Colin needed a few extra minutes to clear his head. I was going to get the Inspector back for this, no doubt about it.

.

"You sure you can drive this?" Colin was slurring a little by the time I got the door open and he looked a lot more relaxed. "Not sure drinking four shots of scotch in one go was such a good idea Ianto."

.

"I think the situation warranted it; extreme measures and all that. You … ah … looked like you were in shock back there. I wasn't sure what you were going to do."

.

"How about die of embarrassment? Is that possible?" Colin laid his head back against the head rest and closed his eyes. He didn't feel so bad just now but man that was fucking horrible. 'That was fucking horrible," he declared. "_Absolutely – fucking – horrible_."

.

"I know. It really was. I'm so sorry. Listen, I … Oh, I have no idea what I should say." _Damn the Inspector. He doesn't think. He's such … he's such an insensitive damn guy_, I cursed him inwardly.

.

"I know. It's not your fault. It's just embarrassment. I'll get over it." But he groaned loudly when he thought of tomorrow. What a way to come out of the closet. _Fuck! _"Oh, tomorrow is going to suck."

.

I winced and nodded.

.

Colin's flat was a good fifteen minutes by car from the club. I was extremely relieved when we arrived. "_Phew_ … we're here."

.

"Finally."

.

I handed the keys to Colin and stood there a moment in the parking lot unsure of what I should do now. I'd need to call a cab since there weren't any buses running at this time of night. "Well, I'll see you tomorrow. I'm just going to …"

.

"Don't be daft. Come on," he insisted.

.

"But-" I was certain he wouldn't want anything to do with me after this fiasco.

.

"Nope. Just come on." Colin was already opening the outside door to his flat.

.

"Okay. I'll just come in and call a cab." I acquiesced but only so I wouldn't have to walk home.

.

We made it up three flights of stairs and found the correct door but the dimly lit hallway was giving Colin problems. "Ianto d'ya want to help me here? Can't see. All you need to do is put it in the slot and turn the key." He started snorting and giggling at his own joke. "Oh come on! That was funny and extremely dirty. Just like you."

.

I couldn't keep the smirk from forming and chuckled as I opened the door.

.

"Ah. Home sweet home." He dropped his coat on the floor. "I've missed you," he declared to the room. "Nice couch. Good couch." He patted, petted and stroked the coach. Colin was starting to feel his scotch now. The room was spinning.

.

I followed him into the living room and sat beside him on the couch. "So, I'll just use your phone…" I began.

.

"In a little while. You really shouldn't leave yet." He started to giggle. It wasn't a sound that normally came out of his mouth so I was justly concerned.

.

"Are you okay? I'm concerned. I don't know what I should do."

.

"Break me? How are you going to break me exactly? Ha … _ahhh_ … it's pretty funny. I mean … we've kissed once. I've kissed you once and now … what a way to be outed. Fuck me." He breathed a deep sigh and then he looked at me and thought I was looking concerned and well … extremely kissable. He couldn't help licking his lips and he really couldn't help starring at my extremely suckable lips. "Shit. You have gorgeous lips," he blurted. He started moving towards me.

_._

_Fuck_ _it's getting extremely hot in here_, I mused. "Colin …" I began to protest but was summarily cut off when Colin's lips crashed down onto mine. _I'm going to hell_ … I thought.

.

The living room suddenly felt like a sauna … like making out in the back seat of a car when the windows get all steamed up. I didn't remember unbuttoning my shirt and I surely didn't remember throwing it across the room. It was all I could do to keep up. Colin was all tongue and teeth and lips and hands and mouth. And I was all … _I'm going to hell … I'm going to hell … oh but what an arse he has_ and _oooh those arms_.

.

Suddenly, my sense of decency reared its demanding head. "Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait." I protested, I pulled back. Then I started to ramble. "Colin … you have to stop. I can't _believe_ I'm saying this but you'll never forgive me and I'll never forgive myself … you've been drinking … actually I got you drunk … really drunk … and you don't know what you're doing … and …" My words were practically bitten off and then licked off and then I lost my train of thought entirely.

.

After a few moments Colin took a breath. "I know exactly what I'm doing. I'm kissing you. Aren't you kissing me?" he asked me innocently.

.

I groaned. "I think if you have to ask that kind of question then you may be under the influence of alcohol."

.

"Funny," he countered. "That's not what I meant. Besides I'm sobering up pretty fast. Must be the adrenalin mixed with the endorphins. I know exactly what we're doing. And it feels pretty good." He punctuated that statement by nipping my earlobe. He was delighted when I moaned. "I want to hear you make that noise again Ianto. I want to …" he trailed off.

.

"Tell me … what _do_ you want?" I insisted.

.

"I …" He paused and bit his lip before continuing. "I just want to touch you. If that's okay? I mean … I …" He blushed and shook his head side to side. "I have no idea what I'm doing – obviously."

.

"It's not so obvious from where I'm lying." I was lying on my back with Colin draped over me. He had a thigh between my legs and I could feel exactly how aroused Colin was as it was straining between us. "In fact, I'd say you know exactly how to do this." I gripped his arse and pulled him hard against me forcing a gasp from between Colin's parted lips.

.

"It's so damn hot in here," he said, his words sounded like an aroused sigh.

.

"Um hmm," I agreed.

.

"I don't think" _Kiss_ "You" _kiss_ "Need to worry about waiting." _Kiss … kiss_.

.

"I'm going to hell …" I resumed my mantra out loud this time.

.

"And why is that?" he demanded.

.

"Well, let's see." I assembled my thoughts, lawyer style. "I'm seducing my sparring partner, whom I've gotten drunk, after a very stressful public encounter, on his living room floor. Said partner who's never been with a man before and who isn't really sure …"

.

"I'm sure. I am positive. Now, shut up will you?" Colin began running his fingertips across my hairy chest, lightly brushing my nipples, across my collarbone, down my sensitive ribs and then across my stomach. His breathing was rapid and his fingers were a little shaky as he undid my button. He swallowed and then bit his lower lip before he slowly slipped the zipper down. I shuddered as the zipper vibrated over my cock and fought against thrusting against his hand.

.

_Control yourself,_ I told myself sternly. _Piss off_, I replied.

.

I sat up and pulled my pants off before leaning over Colin. I kissed him wet and hard and pressed him down onto his back. "Let me." I looked at Colin and waited for a nod before undoing his trousers which I unceremoniously tossed on the floor.

.

I dipped my head and ran my tongue across his firm belly. Colin jerked at the sensation and he balled his hands up at his sides. I reached for his right hand and brought his fingers one by one into my mouth.

.

The look on Colin's face was pure sex. His eyes were glazed, his pupils were blown, his cheeks flushed pink and his lips were swollen and slightly parted.

.

I sat astride Colin and leaned forward. Our hard cocks pressed together separated only by thin boxers. I kept one hand threaded together as I continued to lick my way up Colin's torso. I rolled my hips and increased the friction between our bodies. I licked into the dips between muscles and I licked along his flanks drawing gasps and wiggles and deep groans of anticipation. When I reached Colin's throat I whispered in his ear. "Are you okay with this? Do you want me to slow down?"

.

"God – no!" he gasped. "I mean – I'm good, I'm great. But please don't slow down," he whimpered.

.

I slid down his body, flesh sliding across flesh until I reached his groin. Through the thin fabric, I wrapped my lips around Colin's twitching cock. The groans rumbling out of Colin throat were hoarse and desperate. I kept my eyes locked on Colin's as I slid his damp boxers down his legs. I slid once again between his legs and ran my hands up the insides of his thighs, teasing with my fingertips.

.

"Ahh! .. you trying to kill me?" he gasped out.

.

"Nope." I could only grin. "Would you like me to suck you?"

.

Colin's throat flushed red and then he nodded. "Yes, please."

.

I didn't need any more encouragement than that. I ran my tongue from base to head. When I flicked my tongue inside his slit Colin almost sat up. He was intensely aroused, his cock leaking fiercely. I kept my eyes locked on his and started licking and swirling. At this point Colin was struggling to keep his eyes open. He was so overwhelmed by the sensation of my hot, wet mouth wrapped around his aching cock. Just when he thought he'd die from pleasure I sucked him straight down my throat. Colin let out a shout that surprised both of us.

.

"Oh, fuck, Ianto … I can't … I can't …"

.

"mmmmmm" I vibrated the sound in my throat.

.

And then Colin lost it. And I kept on sucking. I sucked and I licked until I'd wrung every last drop of cum from his orgasm. I slid up and wrapped my arms around Colin who was very lost in sensation. I kissed his throat, then behind his ear and then his lips.

.

"Thank you. That was amazing," he said after a moment.

.

"My pleasure," I replied through a toothy grin.

.

"Not yet." And then Colin proceeded to return the favor.

.

.

* * *

><p><em><strong>To be continued in … Chapter 3.3 – Awakenings of the Heart<strong>_


	6. C3,3 Awakenings of the Heart V2

_**3.3 - Awakenings of the Heart**_

**W/C**: ~5000  
><strong>Warningscontent**: swearing, character death and angst  
><strong>Summary:<strong> Ianto undergoes a series of awakenings. He gains some valuable insight into his relationships with his family.  
><strong>Ianto's New Timeline<strong>: 01/03/02 – 12/xx/02  
><strong>Characters:<strong> Ianto, Rhi, Dad, Inspector Donaldson, doctors

* * *

><p>.<p>

.

* * *

><p><em>TW Ianto's Journal TW Ianto's Journal TW<em>

* * *

><p><em>.<em>

_May 18, 2002_

_._

_I haven't slept at my own place all week. Colin's great. The self-defense class is going much better. I don't suck quite as much as before. The Inspector has been behaving well lately. The library is quiet and reliably boring. I like my coworkers a lot. I've found some leads on some sightings. It might be what I'm looking for. Something about a frequency?_

_._

_I've skipped a few classes this week and my Crim prof gave me shit about it. Finals are coming up soon. I need to stick with the game plan. I've just been slacking off. I need to refocus and stop thinking with my dick. _

_._

_Dad is looking tired. It's coming, I know it. I just can't believe it. I want to warn Rhi so badly. I want to tell her to bring the kids 'round and to stop making excuses. She'll never forgive herself. I need to … I wish I could just tell her. I wish I could confide in someone; someone who'd believe me. _

_._

_My memories are fading a bit. I'm starting to freak out a bit. I can't remember dates for everything. I have to keep reminding myself. I have to keep reading my journal so I don't forget. It's like my new experiences are pushing my past-future out of my long term memory. I'm terrified that I'll forget. I can't forget. _

_**.**_

_**TO DO:**__ buy lube, go to classes you dumb arse, call Rhi, remember_

_**.**_

_**NOT TO DO:**__ don't skip classes, don't forget to call Dad – see him this weekend _

_._

* * *

><p><em>TW Ianto's Journal TW Ianto's Journal TW Ianto's Journal TW<em>

* * *

><p>.<p>

.

TW**X**DW

.

.

I let myself in as I did quite frequently. It was a gorgeous June day. I was looking forward to a walk in the park with Dad.

.

One moment I was humming tunelessly to myself and the next I was working my key frantically in the lock.

.

I heard the screech of Rhi's 'angry voice' coming from the second floor. I sped up my pace and made my way up the stairs.

.

I rounded the corner and the sight I saw made my heart clench. Rhi was literally shaking her fist at Dad. Her face was livid and I swore I could see steam spiralling out of her ears; she was pissed. Dad on the other hand just looked defeated.

.

I stood there for a moment or two trying to pick up the gist of their fight. He'd said something hurtful to her delightful husband Johnny. She abruptly finished her tirade ending with a _'you won't be seeing me anytime soon'_ and flew out of the room with a dramatic swoosh.

.

I wasn't having any of this. I followed her down to the front step. She'd stopped running and was crying and stomping her feet in frustration. She'd always hated to cry; it made her feel so weak.

.

I stood quietly and waited for her to calm herself down. It wouldn't due to push her at this point, not until she came down a few notches.

.

"Yan. Sorry," she said between tears. "Didn't mean to ruin your visit. I'm just so fed up!"

.

"You haven't ruined anything, Rhi. Tell me what happened?"

.

"He's just being his old self again – judgemental, cruel and thoughtless…"

.

"Rhi … stop just a minute … please. I need to … talk to you about something. It's important." I approached her and began lowering my voice. I didn't want Dad to hear.

.

"Okay. I'm listening." She was still irritated but seemed a bit calmer. Perhaps I'd deflated some of her thunder with my change of subject tactics.

.

"It sounds like you're really upset and I'm guessing you have good reason to be. But there's something you need to know." I struggled for the right words. I'd been holding this in for years and now she was about to waste his last few months or so on this Earth and she'd never forgive herself. "Have you noticed how sick he is? He's been failing for the last year…"

.

"What the hell are you talking about? He's not sick! He's just drunk. There's a huge difference. He doesn't deserve my pity. He's treating my husband like a bastard and I'll not have it!"

.

"Believe me Rhi. I understand. You're right, he is drunk a lot of the time and he does treat Johnny like crap. But that's not what I'm talking about. He doesn't have much time left. He's really sick Rhi. I'm not asking you to give him a free pass. But you'll never forgive yourself if you leave things like this and the worst should happen…"

.

"He hasn't said anything to me. What did he say to you?"

.

"He hasn't said a word. But I know he's been to see the doctor about some chest pains. He wouldn't tell me what the doctor said but I've seen him clutch his chest when he thinks I'm not looking. He's in a lot of pain. He's not faking and it's not just booze. I think it's his heart. And I'm worried. Haven't you noticed how pale and weak he is?"

.

She took in a deep breath and then let it out in a sharp huff. "Shit. You're right. I thought he just had the flu. Why didn't he say anything?"

.

"Pride maybe? Didn't want to worry us? I don't know."

.

"You know, he almost fell down the stairs yesterday. Johnny made a quip about him being drunk before lunch. And that's when Dad laid into him. Shit, Yan. He must be so stressed out."

.

"I think he is. He's trying hide it. It must be exhausting. He needs us. He needs our love and understanding. We need him, too. So please, won't you talk to him at least?"

.

She nodded briskly and then wrapped her long arms around me. She hugged me tightly and held me for a moment before letting go. When she stepped back, she had a determined look on her face. I let out the breath I was holding in. We went back in together. And together we had a chat with Dad about keeping secrets.

.

"Dad? We need to talk." She sat down at the table across from Dad and gently took his hand in hers.

.

"Rhi, I'm sorry. I really am. I didn't mean to be such an arse to your husband. He just … really pissed me off. I wasn't drunk …"

.

"I know Dad. It's okay. He didn't know what he was talking about. But I don't think that's entirely his fault is it?" She attempted to convey every drop of compassion she felt for him with a small but heartfelt smile.

.

He looked from her to me and just nodded his head. The game, apparently, was up. The secret was out. "No, not really his fault. Seeing as how I wasn't exactly forthcoming about how … ill I've been. I just … didn't want to worry you two and the kids… I don't want them to look at me any differently. I don't want them to be afraid."

.

"Life's too short Dad. We want to be there for you – especially when you need us. You've always done your best to be there for us when we needed you."

.

I was grateful that I'd arrived when I did. It was more than a coincidence. Of that I was sure. Synchronicity, it seemed, could actually work in my favour. We started going with him to the doctor and the kids were more than helpful after school. Now that the secret was out of the bag, all the mysterious tension that had kept us from really connecting as a family had all but disappeared. We'd been given a gift; second chances – for all of us.

.

.

TW**X**DW

.

.

I sat through my morning classes, dutifully, taking notes, nodding at the appropriate times, highlighting even, and yet I felt my brain might actually implode from the mind numbing boredom. _Just going through the motions, again._ I looked around at the eager fresh faces and couldn't help hoping that at least some of them felt equally unchallenged. There had to be some! I couldn't be the only one not riveted. _Surely not_.

.

In his office, the Inspector eased his wobbly desk chair back and balanced precariously on two legs. He closed his eyes and wrapped his hands behind his head; lost in a fantasy world of exciting car chases and busted in doors.

.

His aid, having peeked through the door window, eased his way into the office quietly and gently cleared his throat. He may have thought he was being helpful but his sudden appearance resulted in a panicked teetering and a few colorful swears before the older man managed to get all four legs on the ground. His young aid blushed and shrank back from his startled superior expecting to be thoroughly dressed down but was both shocked and relieved when the Inspector merely chuckled and willingly admitted he'd caught him daydreaming.

.

"Sir? Sorry Sir. There's an urgent call for Mr. Jones. It's the hospital Sir. His father. Is he expected soon?"

.

Inspector Donaldson stilled then stood up abruptly. He quickly made his way around his desk and had relieved his aid of the message before he could speak another word.

.

"Thank you. I'll see to it. Dismissed." He hadn't yet looked up from the detailed message. He checked his watch and then grabbed his coat from behind the door.

.

"Thank you, Sir." He recognized the concern and fear which plainly marred the Inspectors face.

.

He was walking briskly through the foyer towards me just as I walked through the front door. I saw the dire look on my mentor's face and immediately rushed to his side. "Sir? Inspector? What's wrong?" I had no idea what might cause my friend to be so stricken and was not expecting what I heard.

.

"Come with me." He took me by the arm and pulled me along towards his car at a quick jog. He unlocked the car and jumped in before he even passed me the message. He didn't even wait for me to read it completely before he tore out of the parking lot at break neck speed. He had all the details and knew exactly where my father had been taken.

.

"Oh, fuck," was all I said. I knew this was coming. I'd known for so long. Still, the reality settled on me painfully, pressing down on my chest, making it so very hard to breathe. I felt so grateful to have someone like the Inspector by my side; someone who would gladly look out for me. I wanted so desperately to express my gratitude but the words just wouldn't form. Fear kept them locked behind my lips, down my throat, down where the pounding of my heart threatened to break through my chest.

.

I'd finally finished reading the message. I stared blankly out the window a moment while I steadied my breath. I turned my head towards my mentor and friend who was currently breaking any number of traffic and safety laws desperately trying to get me to the hospital.

.

The Inspector's mind was focussed on the quiet young man beside him. He was driving like his life depended on it – but it was more than that really – he felt so helpless – and the one thing he could do was drive me to the hospital. All he could think was _I have to get him there in time_.

.

"Thank you." I uttered strangled words through a tightened throat.

.

"Of course, Ianto. We're almost there. Just another minute. I'll drop you at the door and then I'll park. I'll come and find you as soon as I can. He's going to be alright." He willed his words to be true. He silently prayed to the God he hadn't spoken to in decades. _Please,_ he pleaded, _he's a good boy. Just give him some time._

_._

I caught the desperate gleam and nodded. The second we came to a stop I jumped out of the car and ran.

.

My sister grabbed me as I tore around the corner nearly smashing into a patient in a wheelchair. "He's alive – He's _alive_ – Stop – Ianto – We can see him in a few minutes. He's just come out of surgery." Her words tumbled out of her mouth. I didn't think she could speak any faster if she tried. "He had a heart attack. But he called at the first signs and they – they – he was so lucky" The tears just poured down her red stained face. I couldn't speak. I just held her arms in a desperate vice like grip. We looked into each other's eyes. We knew this day was coming. We had to take care of each other; now, more than ever.

.

"Are you alone?" I scanned the waiting room, tried to find a familiar face – her husband, her children.

.

"Yes, I came as soon as I got the call. He told them to call us both from the ambulance. He had our numbers written on a piece of paper. It was in his breast pocket." She started hiccupping as the panic set in. "Ohhhh God… Ianto … he must have known … he must have felt ill … why didn't he call us sooner? Why?" She tucked her face into my shirt collar and held me tightly and allowed tears of frustration to flow freely.

.

We were standing in the middle of the hallway, holding each other, when the Inspector came jogging around the corner. He skidded to a stop a few paces away, now unsure if he should intrude. But I saw him and waved him over.

.

"Rhi? I want you to meet Inspector Donaldson. He's a good friend to me. He brought me here." This was the first time my family and work had intersected. It was about time I introduced them to each other.

.

She swiped absentmindedly at her eyes, more to clear her vision than anything and took his offered hand and shook it tightly. "Thank you," she said gravely. She meant it. "And not just for driving him today. You've made a real difference in his life. So, thank you."

.

"It is truly my honor and my pleasure. He's a good lad, an excellent student and a good friend." He smiled brightly at both Rhi and I. His heart swelled with pleasure at her words. He was so proud to have made such a difference and to be told so by my sister.

.

The doctor swooped through the swinging doors and made a beeline straight for us. "That's him, that's the doctor," she murmured.

.

The doctor wore a well-practiced indeterminate expression. He spoke in quiet, confident tones and told us that he was still critical and that another heart attack was imminent. We were taken to see him and only allowed a short visit until he was moved out of the intensive care unit. He wasn't very lucid but he'd gripped our hands when we spoke. We told him to hold on, to fight that we were waiting just outside his room. They moved him to a different unit within the hour. All the while, Inspector Donaldson gently ushered us two to where we needed to be and his warm protective manner provided the comfort we needed to get through the next few precarious hours.

.

Once Dad was securely ensconced in his hospital room, connected to beeping flashing machines, connected to oxygen, connected to intravenous tubes, I sank down exhausted into the nearest chair and tried not to break down. I sat next to Dad's bedside, holding his fragile hand – strange how I never noticed how fragile his hands were before now – and laid my cheek down on the bed and waited for Dad to wake up.

.

Rhi went home to tuck her kids in and would return as soon as she could. We'd agreed she needed to prepare them. They were so young to lose their Granddad.

.

It was hours later when she returned and forced me to go in search of real food. The Inspector had left hours ago and had promised to come back the next day. He made me promise I would call if I needed anything. I wandered in the direction of the canteen unsure if I could eat; if my strained body would allow me to eat. I felt entirely disconnected from my physical form and desperately tried to remain calm. I just couldn't panic. It wouldn't do me any good and it certainly wouldn't do my sister any good. I would be strong.

.

They put a cot in the room so we could rest. Throughout the night, we took turns taking short naps. Neither would leave Dad's side.

.

He woke late that next morning, groggy and pained. He gripped our hands fiercely and was grateful for his children's love. He spoke for a few minutes before he drifted off but it was sleep – real sleep – the nurse assured us, which was good.

.

.

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><p><em>TW Ianto's Journal TW Ianto's Journal TW Ianto's Journal<em>

* * *

><p><em>.<em>

_11/28/02_

_._

_Dad had a heart attack yesterday. It was bad. I was terrified. I thought that was it. He's resting now, thank the powers that be. He's staying awake a little longer each time and they're monitoring him closely. They're going to do some more tests on his heart today. I need to sleep. I can't sleep. I'm afraid I'll miss something. What if he wakes and he needs me? What if he doesn't?_

_I fucking hate hospitals. Hospital chairs suck. God, I wish I could do something, anything to change this. _

_._

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><p><em>TW Ianto's Journal TW Ianto's Journal TW Ianto's Journal TW<em>

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><p>.<p>

.

TW**X**DW

.

.

_Sunlight slanted through the window and reflected off numerous sterile metal surfaces scattered about the hospital room leaving sparkling starbursts dancing on the ceiling. He opened his eyes and they were the first thing he saw. They were gorgeous; tiny little rainbows and stars dancing on the ceiling, so shiny and bright. He shifted his head to the right where he knew his son would be. _

_._

_His son, his fine son, so kind and clever; he'd watched him grow – no flourish – over the last few years. He'd never expected great things from him. Sure he was clever enough – more so actually but he just wasn't grounded enough. But something had happened. He wasn't sure what it was but it was so obvious now. It was like he just woke up one day and decided to make something of his life. He couldn't be more proud. _"Ianto …" he rasped.

.

.

TW**X**DW

.

.

.

I jerked awake from my light dozing; I hadn't been able to really sleep. "Dad! You're awake. How do you feel? Want dome water? You must be thirsty. Here let me…" I jumped up and busied myself with making my Dad comfortable. It was all I could do really. It's not like I could actually change anything.

.

"Yes … thirsty." He drank slowly, with difficulty. His throat felt so papery, so weak. His body was giving out on him; he could feel his life slipping away.

.

"Well … Dad," I sighed. "You're looking better today. Much stronger, I'd say. Are you hungry? The nurse said you could have some soup if you felt up to it?" My words came out in a tumble.

.

"Okay. Thanks. You're a good boy." He patted my hand. He wanted to say so many things … but where to start?

.

I fed him happily and kept up the steady stream of chatter. I tried to joke like normal, told him about the latest work gossip and rambled on about Colin for a bit.

.

"I'm glad you've found someone, son; even if he is … a man. Just be happy. Doesn't matter what anybody says. Remember that. Screw 'em. Hear me? Just be happy. Promise me?" After a few spoons of soup his voice started to come back in strength. He was fierce and determined that he'd get his say once and for all.

.

I blinked, gulped and nodded at my Dad. "Thanks Dad. That … that means the world to me. I know you don't like the idea of me dating men … so thanks for saying that." I was struggling to hold back the flood of tears that threatened to fall but didn't; instead they lingered and burned behind my eyes.

.

He gripped my hand and shook it roughly. "Promise me …" he insisted.

.

I nodded and smiled. I leaned forward, closer to my Dad, placed a warm hand on his shoulder and quietly said, "Dad. I promise you. I will do what makes me happy. I promise."

.

"Good boy." He was satisfied for now. He patted my leg in approval.

.

Rhi walked in carrying a couple of cups of coffee and a bag of delectable baked goods. She passed a cup and the bag over to me and we switched places. I sat by the window and drank down the nectar of the gods with gratitude and watched as Rhi presented him with a little surprise. The kids had made their Granddad a get well card and he was clutching it tightly, eyes shining with pride.

.

It was finally time to run those tests and the nurse told us to come back in an hour or so. Rhi and I decided to take a walk around the hospital grounds. It was peaceful, quiet and gave us a much needed reprieve from the stark antiseptic hospital room.

.

When we came back to the room we were met by the specialist who had some news. "He's suffered some serious damage. Unfortunately, we can't repair it surgically. It's … wear and tear." He shrugged. Not exactly a comforting gesture coming from a specialist.

.

We sat together in silence for a few minutes. "This is it, isn't it?" Her voice was small; that of a scared little girl.

.

I couldn't bear it. I couldn't lie. Not at a time like this. Not to my sister. "Ya… I think so." I took her hand and pulled her into a comforting hug.

.

"Johnny's going to bring the kids by this afternoon – after he has a chance to rest a while."

.

"Sounds good. Do you need me to do anything for you? Errands? Anything?"

.

"No. I don't know. I just … can't think straight. You know?"

.

"Ya. I do," I assured her.

.

"Nothing else … really matters right now."

.

I was nodding in agreement when the porter pushed Dad's bed through the door. He looked tired. He looked like he'd run a marathon. And he didn't look at all pleased about it.

.

"You okay Dad? You look pretty tired?"

.

"Not alright. Damn doctors… not a guinea pig! Stop poking me …" he grumbled.

.

"How about I close these curtains and we all have a bit of a nap? I could sure use one. How about you Rhi? Want to take a breather?"

.

"Hell ya. I'm knackered. Let's shut all these lights off and us three have us a little sleep."

.

I curled up on the cot and Rhi jumped up on the bed and snuggled in next to her Dad. They slept for about an hour without any interruption. It was heaven.

.

The kids were nervous. They'd been coached, obviously. There were indoor voices, copious pleases and thank yous and lots of gentle touches. It was the saddest thing I'd ever seen. They were saying goodbye. They knew they were saying goodbye. And they were being so brave. It just about broke my heart in two.

.

They were all together; for hours there were smiles and laughter. I could see how happy my Dad was but I could also see how much this effort was costing him. It was taking its toll. When the nurse shooed them out to run a test they all left except me. I'd stay. "She'll be back again after the kids are put to bed," I told him.

.

They had their tea together and chatted lightly. Dad was tired but apparently he didn't want to sleep. He wanted to talk. "So… the doc said my heart is tuckered out."

.

"Ya. I heard. Sounds a bit fishy to me Dad. You know if you wanted a vacation you could have just said so … no need for such dramatics." I'd be damned if I'd be pulled into a morbid discussion with my Dad. I'd keep it upbeat if it killed me.

.

I got the desired results when my Dad chuckled. "Can always count on you to make me laugh. Thanks, I needed that."

.

"That's what I'm here for … comic relief." I pilfered a spoon of jelly and grinned broadly at my Dad. "Yum. Green. You suppose this counts as a vegetable around here?"

.

It took ages to finish eating but it was relaxing and exactly what we needed after the busy day we'd had. Dad seemed to consider something quite seriously for a moment. His face became quite serious and then he abruptly changed the subject.

.

.

_Inspector Donaldson stood outside the room hidden behind the privacy screen listening to his favorite young man talk quietly with his ailing father. He'd just wait a moment or two before he went in – no need to interrupt them._

.

.

"Ianto? What happened?" he asked. "You always talked of moving to the big city. You never quit whinging on about grand old London … then suddenly not a word. So what happened to change your mind son?" He'd been wondering about this for some time now.

.

"Well. I guess I just started appreciating what I had here. I wanted to spend time with you and Rhi and the kids. I can always go to London later … you know … when the time's right. Besides," I added, "I like my life here."

.

"Right." He clenched his jaw and the words came out tightly. "So what you're saying is … you decided to stay here … because of your old man and your sister? _Bollocks to that!_ That's just bollocks!" He shouted and I began to fear for his heart. "Why would you put your life on hold? You basically tossed an important dream down the toilet… " He was shaking his head now, feeling seriously annoyed that he'd never realized why I'd stayed put for so many years.

.

Dad's face was flushed red and he looked pretty pissed off. I was so scared that I'd give my Dad another heart attack … "Dad … please calm down!" I begged. "You're stressing me out! I don't want to give you another heart attack! Please … just breathe!" I gripped his hand for dear life.

.

His eyes widened with shocked. He heard such fear in his son's voice. He took a moment and stopped his ranting. "Alright. I'm calm now. I'm sorry," he apologized. "I didn't mean to worry you. But I'm serious about this boy. I don't want you to put your life on hold for the likes of me." He had a hold of my hand and his eyes were crystal clear.

.

"No – Dad," I insisted, "that's not the case at all," and I didn't realize until that moment that it wasn't. "I have been working to improve myself all this time. I'm doing so well at uni and my job … is great. I love my job. I'm good at this Dad. If I went off to London last year or the year before … what kind of job do you think I'd have gotten?"

.

He nodded, conceding the point. _He does seem happy and his job is pretty cool_, he thought. None of his friends had kids who worked for the police while they went to university and actually got paid. He was always the first to brag about how clever his Ianto was. How his Ianto was going places.

.

"You do seem happy. I'll give you that. And you seem to really like your job. But I don't want to see you put your dreams on hold for me. I want you to dream big. You are so clever. I'm so proud of you. I want you to know that. I know you can do anything. So please don't let go of your dreams. If it's London you want to go to, then by God you'd better set your sights on that and do it. Make it happen." I'd never seen my Dad like this, so passionate, so inspired.

.

"I will. I just don't know exactly what my dream is right now," I admitted. "But I'll figure it out. I promise you." I knew in my heart that it was true. I had no doubt in my abilities or my knowledge or my skills for that matter. I just had to re-evaluate what I wanted.

.

_**Tap - Tap - Tap**_

.

There came a tapping on the door. "Hello? Ianto, you in here?" I heard the Inspector's tentative call.

.

I stood up and pulled the curtain open. "Inspector. Sir. Come in. Come meet my father."

.

"Dad. I'd like you to meet Inspector Donaldson. He's responsible for getting me the internship and so much more." I smiled ruefully. But just then, Mr. Jones noticed a subtle shift in his son's demeanor and saw the light return to his eye.

.

"Good to meet you Mr. Jones. It's a pleasure." The Inspector held out his hand and smiled warmly at my Dad. "And I'm certainly not responsible for your son's success," he protested. "I just made the recommendation. He's done the rest. You should be very proud of him sir. He's one of the best students I've ever trained." The Inspector pumped the older man's frail hand as firmly as he dared knowing the man would not appreciate being treated as a cripple.

.

"I am. He's a good boy," he agreed. "Couldn't ask for better." His eyes were alight with joy and pride as he looked between the Inspector and his son. He felt glad knowing his son would have a good friend to guide him when he was gone. He could tell the Inspector was a good man, a respectable man; one who was suitable to be a role model for his son.

.

I walked the Inspector out to his car. We chatted about work and school. The Inspector assured me my duties would be waiting for me when I returned and he told me that he'd already informed the faculty adviser of my current obligations. "Not to worry, Ianto. These things are trivial right now. You just spend as much time with your Dad as you can," he told me sternly. "How's … he doing? Will he recover?" the Inspector ventured.

.

I shook my head, pursed my lips and said, "no, I don't think so. Too much damage."

.

"Then you spend every minute you can with him. Trust me. I wish I had." The Inspector's mind wandered off to a difficult time, one that still haunted his memories. When he returned to the here and now, only a brief moment later, he patted me warmly on the shoulder.

.

I stood and waved as my friend and mentor drove away. That night, after Rhi'd returned, we chatted and reminisced until his Dad's eyes slipped closed and he fell into a deep sleep. In fact, we all slept. We were exhausted.

.

In the morning, though, when I sleepily lifted my head I rose to find my sister draped across our father, tears sliding down her face. He'd passed away while we slept right next to him. He never woke. His heart just gave out. Wear and tear they said.

.

.

TW**X**DW

.

.

December was a sad, solemn month one that we as a family would never forget. When I returned to work after the New Year, the Inspector called me into his office.

.

"I'm here for you son," he told me. "You never need to feel alone." He looked at me solemnly. "I want you to take it easy. Don't push yourself too much."

.

"Thank you. But I need … something." I couldn't stand being inactive. I needed something to focus on.

.

He considered me for a moment and then asked, "What can I do for you?"

.

"Let me work. I need to work. I need to do something useful, meaningful, important."

.

"I can do that" he replied.

.

And so the year began with me working part-time for the department. It wasn't glamorous. I did all the shit jobs that nobody wanted to do. I did what I did best; I organized, I cleaned and I helped other people do their jobs more efficiently. I was making a difference and to me that's all that mattered.

**.**

**.**

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><p><em><strong>To be continued in … Chapter 4 – Can't Take the Para Out of My Normal<strong>_


	7. C4,1 The Lesser of Two Weevils

_**4 –Can't Take the Para Out of my Normal**_

_**... Part 1: ****The Lesser of Two Weevils**_

**W/C:** 1650 ish  
><strong>WARNINGSCONTENT:** first person POV, mild-moderate sexual references and situations, copious vulgarity (because I am a potty-mouth)  
><strong>SUMMARY:<strong> Ianto attempts to lead a 'normal' life working at the precinct but he keeps getting dragged into paranormal situations.  
><strong>IANTO'S NEW TIMELINE:<strong> March 2003  
><strong>CHARACTERS:<strong>Ianto, Inspector Donaldson, some cops, a weevil

* * *

><p>.<p>

.

I may've told Inspector Donaldson that I'd help; in fact I may've even said '_I'd be happy to help_' but truly I'm not looking forward to this one bit.

.

If only they'd quit asking me if I'm okay. Then maybe I could be. But they just keep asking.

.

I can't blame them, not really.

.

We're squished into this little car like unlucky sardines. I'm slotted right in the middle. _Oh, joy_.

.

I guess it's pretty hard to _ignore_ the fact that I keep covering my face and I'm sure they can't help but _notice_ every time I sigh heavily or _fail_ to hear the low groans that keeps slipping out of my mouth.

.

It's not (just) that I'm nervous or scared. But _they_ don't know that.

.

I'm trying to sit quietly (and not make a fuss) but my mind's flooded with intense memories. As I sit here, I can _see_, I can _smell_ and I can actually _feel_ the sensations that come with these memories. They're vivid – it's like having _surround sound, 3D and VR _all wrapped in one_._ I feel like I'm re-experiencing the numerous (_pleasurable-dangerous-exciting-erotic_) weevil hunting trips with Jack – and all that those trips entailed.

.

The groans are groans of frustration. I remember his _clever_ hot hands, his _moist_ hot breath, his _scalding_ hot skin – _moving –sliding - grinding_.

.

It's times like these that an eidetic memory becomes a hindrance.

.

And right now, my startlingly accurate sense memory is painfully bestowing its gift upon my body.

.

I'm trying to _hide_ my flaming hot, reddened face behind my hands. I'm not actually _worried_ per se; I'm just _embarrassed_. My body is aching in remembrance of sensations long past or yet to come.

.

_Never sure of the correct tense to use - English grammar doesn't accommodate time-travel very well._

.

It really is better that _they_ think I'm _worried-anxious-scared_. Anything's better than the truth.

.

I _sigh_ every time I close my eyes because I see in my mind's eye those crystalline blue eyes hooded with desire.

.

And every time I feel the _burning-tingling-gut curling_ trail left by his _quick-clever-hot_ hands as they tease and explore my body I get unimaginably _harder_ – my balls _ache_ – then I get more _aroused_ – and I _groan_.

.

It's going to be a _very_ long night.

.

.

TW**X**DW

.

.

I was busy; you know, running around, pushing paper, distributing files, tidying up while doing any number of other essential things that I do when I overheard the call.

.

The call came in 'round 8pm. I only caught every few words that dispatch said but it was enough to get my attention. I heard, "…. wild animal attack … savage teeth … eating a poodle …"

.

_Damn_. That was disconcerting..

.

The desk officer said, "… send the dog catcher …"

.

"The dog catcher's in the hospital," they said. "… vicious attack … possible mortal flesh wounds …" they said.

.

"… sounds like a Torchwood thing …" we said.

.

"Torchwood's not responding …" whined dispatch.

.

Choosing who went out on a call like this often came down to a game of paper-scissor-stone. Tonight however it was up to the desk sergeant and he was in a foul mood.

.

They were going to send out the rookie. No one else wanted the call. He was new. He was a nice (young) guy. He'd die for sure.

.

The rookie was nervous. He scratched his head and asked what he should bring. "Mace? Taser? Grenade? Suggestions? Anybody?" _He begged._

.

_Time to speak up._

.

So I went out on a limb – to save a life – and gave him some help.

.

"_Ahem_. Take a large black hood, some duct-tape, cuffs and some extra-large zip ties."

.

_No one said anything._

.

"You'll need four guys – at least."

.

So far, I'd refrained from interfering or letting on that I knew any more than a kid my age should.

.

I didn't raise my voice. I didn't look anyone in the eye. I didn't lift my head. I just kept starring at my shoes.

.

The initial silence that ensued continued to stretch and it (felt like it) lasted a full minute.

.

Inspector Donaldson nodded. He must have contemplated my track record. I didn't usually volunteer information or make suggestions - I _listened_ and I _followed_ orders.

.

So, when I do speak, I'm _heard_.

.

No one questioned _how_ I knew. It didn't matter. I'm _always_ reliable – my Intel is correct _every time._

.

Inspector Donaldson took point.

.

"Ianto, with me," he said. "We'll take three teams. Martin, Smith, get the gear. We'll take my vehicle. Kary, Thompson, you get the van. You'll follow. Meet in the front in fifteen minutes. Let's go people." Then he swooped into action.

.

That's how we ended up squashed together in the back seat of the Inspector's tiny car – with me reliving every god-damned so called 'weevil hunt' Jack and I went on.

.

.

TW**X**DW

.

.

As far as weevil hunts go … this one was going according to plan. Basically, no one really had any clue as to what they were supposed to do. The weevil definitely had the upper hand.

.

We were in teams of two. The inspector tried to make me stay in the car but my well-practiced derisive-withering look of disbelief must have done the trick - _which is why the look exists in the first place._

_._

Why do they always end up running around lost in an isolated inner city park? I mean, there's nothing there – no food, no escape, no fun. So what's the point?

.

I think they're just drawn to green spaces. I think they must hate the dank sewers. I'll bet their natural habitat is green and wild. The sewers must be hell for them.

.

This one was young yet surprisingly strong. By the time we caught up with it – cornered it – managed to get ourselves organized – it was scared and jumpy. The rookie, Martin and his partner Smith, tried to capture the weevil on their own and were rewarded with a couple of nice long scratches as a parting gift.

.

After a group huddle and some tactical direction from the Inspector we approached as a team and circled around, leaving no avenue of escape.

.

I wish we had some weevil spray. We really could've used some. Without the sedative agent, the weevil kicked the crap out of us. We did eventually get it tackled, hooded, cuffed and zip-tied but while we were waiting for the wagon to be retrieved the weevil almost escaped again.

.

Several team members lost a fair bit of skin, endured some lacerations, a couple cracked ribs and almost all had some very colorful bruises to remember the hunting trip by.

.

On the plus side, _no one died_.

.

This was a big deal. After they all got a good look at the 'wild dog' there was no question that this was indeed a Torchwood matter.

.

However, Torchwood was still not responding.

.

They'd swoop in to collect the 'wild dog' out of lock-up within the day. They usually did.

.

Ironically, it was when you actually wanted them to be there, that they weren't anywhere to be found. Isn't that just the way?

.

The drive back was hairy. We are definitely not set up for weevil capture and transport services. Several hours later we handed our prize over to the guards with strict orders not to unhood the creature and to release it to Torchwood as soon as they arrived.

.

It was weird. They kept patting me on the back. Thanking me. Congratulating me. For what?

.

Well, my confusion was noted by the Inspector so he explained why they were thanking me. He said I made all the difference between utter failure and success on the mission. I disagreed but he insisted that my information was invaluable.

.

Then he pointed to the rookie and his partner. He said in a lowered voice, "they would have died."

.

He believed it. I saw it in his eyes. We both knew that it was true. So I just nodded and tried to be gracious when the others asked about the 'wild dog' adventure. Modesty, in my opinion, is a soul-deep virtue, one that should be cultivated.

.

.

TW**X**DW

.

.

"Oh … _fhisss_ … oh fuck."

.

"mmmm?"

.

"That's good."

.

"Good. Mmmmmm."

.

"Please. Don't. Stop."

.

"I (lick) wouldn't (lick) dream (lick) of (lick) it (lick)."

.

"_Suck. Please_ …"

.

"Of course."

.

.

TW**X**DW

.

.

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><p><em>TW Ianto's Journal TW Ianto's Journal TW<br>_

* * *

><p><em>January 11, 2003<em>

_The minute I got back from the weevil hunt, I called Colin. I needed some comfort, I needed him. I'm so glad he's got a nice apartment. Mine is a bit shit and it's good to get away. _

_._

_He kept his eyes locked on mine the whole time. God it was so hot! I forgot how good it felt to have strong hands hold me, push me down, a big hot mouth suck me down his throat… I forgot. The way he licked me - it was crazy how hard it made me. I had my way with him in the end though. I had so much fun working him up into a bloody frenzy until he was squirming under me and begging me to fuck him. I like being in charge. That was fun. _

* * *

><p><em>TW Ianto's Journal TW Ianto's Journal TW<br>_

* * *

><p>.<p>

.

**To be continued…**

**A/N: Thank you so much to everyone who is reading, reviewing and adding this story to your lists. It's both gratifying and heartwarming to know you like my story. I hope you have a wonderful holiday surrounded by loving family and friends.  
>Blessed Be.<br>one-blue-eye**


	8. C4,2 Scumbags of the Universe

_**4 - Can't Take the Para Out of My Normal**_

_**...Part 2: Scumbags of the Universe**_

**W/C:** 2175 ish  
><strong>WARNINGSCONTENT:** continued first-person POV, mild-moderate sexual references and situations, copious vulgarity (because I am a potty-mouth)  
><strong>SUMMARY:<strong> Ianto attempts to lead a 'normal' life working at the precinct but he keeps getting dragged into paranormal situations.  
><strong>IANTO'S NEW TIMELINE:<strong> Aug 2003  
><strong>CHARACTERS:<strong> Ianto, Inspector Donaldson, some cops, a blowfish, the Torchwood team

* * *

><p>.<p>

.

Inspector Donaldson took me out to a crime scene today. I can't help but think he's trying to out-do the other department. I'm still working on the archival project for the research department in the mornings.

.

Does cool crime scene trump cool archival system?

.

_Perhaps…_

.

I'm not complaining mind. It was awesome. Finally, I get to put some of my knowledge to work.

.

It was eye-opening watching him and his team work the scene.

.

They're good!

.

There was definitely something fishy about the case though. It involved a stolen car and a robbery. The car totally stunk. As in, it _stunk like fish_. Only there weren't any fish left at the scene and the forensics guys said there wasn't any evidence to suggest there ever were.

.

Honestly, my 'spidey-sense' or 'alien detector' or 'spooky-do radar' or whatever you'd like to call it – _was tingling_ - and it wasn't a good tingle. It was a '_holy shit we're fucked'_ kind of tingle. 'Cause nothing good ever came from an alien fish encounter – _ever_.

.

It was when we were inspecting the car that we noticed the smell. Then later, after we interviewed a couple of witnesses we found out about the 'rubber fish mask'.

.

The older guy we talked to said he saw the thief smash the driver's side window. He said he was just about to unlock his front door which was across the street from the parked car. He looked over and saw some guy skulking around wearing a bright red Halloween costume. He thought it was just a kid screwing around but then the guy smashed the window. He was shocked and confessed to being quite scared so he quickly unlocked the door and slammed it behind him. That's when he called the cops. The thing is, after he thought about it he said he could've sworn that it was a fish mask. He said it must have been expensive 'cause it was real lifelike. We thanked him and spoke to another fella.

.

This guy was younger and was riding his bike down the sidewalk. He saw the guy up close and had to swerve to avoid running into him. He said it was definitely a fish mask. He also said the guy kind of smelled 'off'.

.

I was, as you can imagine, freaking out by this point. The _what_ _if's_ spinning through my ever-so-imaginative mind left me all but ready to bolt. At the very least, I wanted to drag the Inspector away, very far away from the soon-to-be dangerous situation.

.

What could I have possibly said? Let's just leave this to … Who? Torchwood? How the hell am I supposed to explain that one?

.

So I didn't. I just went with the flow, tried to chill out, went to my happy place … you know the drill. I totally pretended everything was … _normal_.

.

I half expected _someone_ from Torchwood to show up at any moment. But no one did.

.

The car had been dumped several kilometers from the robbery site. There weren't any CCTV cameras in the vicinity so we couldn't track him. There weren't any prints – not that they would have helped us. There was very little evidence that we could find with the technology available to us. The only thing we could do was to increase patrols and keep an eye out for a guy in a rubber fish mask.

.

I was kind of relieved when we didn't find anything and had to go home. We followed up the next day but we still had nothing to go on.

.

We got a call a couple of days later from the security company that surveils several banks in the area. The supervisor had been reviewing the tapes for the last few shifts and he came across a suspicious character. We went down to their office and had a look at the footage.

.

_Damn_. It was definitely a blowfish. No question about it. It was _not_ a rubber mask. I looked at the Inspector and he looked at me. I knew he _knew_ that was no mask. I also knew he knew _I knew_ it was no mask. Obviously we took the footage with us.

.

In the car, on the way back to the precinct he tried to get my take. He started off by saying, "by the look on your face back there Ianto, it sure seems like you've seen this kind of thing before."

.

I didn't reply. I must have made a face because he kind of snorted at me.

.

"So, what do you think?" he prodded again.

.

"I've seen something like that before. I've lived in Cardiff my whole life. We both know strange things happen here."

.

"True. True. There have been some weird things… But what I want to know is have you seen this kind of 'fish guy' before?" He just wasn't going to let up until I told him what I knew.

.

"Ya ... I have. They're not from _around_ here. You know what I mean? They're _trouble_."

.

"What do you mean by trouble? What have you seen _exactly_?"

.

"They usually steal something flashy. They're like rebellious teenagers on a joyride." There was no getting around this. I decided to share a little of what I knew. I just wouldn't tell him _how_ I knew what I knew.

.

He paused a moment and it looked like he was digesting what I said. Then he surprised me and just took my words at face value. Honestly, I was stunned that he'd put that kind of trust in me. He didn't even demand how I knew. He just _believed_ me.

.

"So are you saying they're just stupid teenagers?"

.

"No! I'm not saying they're _just_ anything. They're dangerous! Really dangerous! You've got to believe me." Oh, I was more than a little desperate for him to believe me. I just wanted to tell him to stay away from this one.

.

"Okay. I _do_. I _believe_ you," he assured me. Then he held up his hand like he was surrendering. He looked over at me and spoke ever so clearly. "I _always_ believe you. If _you_ say they're dangerous then we'll treat them as such."

.

"A friend of mine once said they're like the scum of the universe."

.

"Great. Joy riding, teenaged, scum. They don't sound very stealthy. Kind of flashy actually. Do you think they want to get caught?" He went into analysis mode. I'd seen him do this countless time before. He was compiling data and trying to see patterns.

.

"Listen, they may be the scum of the universe but they aren't stupid scumbags. They're sneaky and mean and violent. Don't underestimate them, whatever you do. Or you may just end up dead."

.

"Fair enough – we'll keep that in mind."

.

The blowfish didn't surface for over a week. What I can't figure out is where did he hide? I mean they're pretty _noticeable_.

.

_Hard to miss._

.

Especially with their _fashion sense_.

.

When they found it the Inspector called me at home and asked if I wanted to come along. He had been hiding out in an old abandoned warehouse. Ironically, a transient called the cops because she was angry that he was squatting in her warehouse. Bless.

.

I was almost giddy by the time we got there. He told me it was alone and they had the warehouse surrounded.

.

It couldn't get out of the car. I'd already agreed. He made me promise. Either that or he wouldn't have brought me.

.

I asked him if any other agencies were called in. He nodded and said, "probably Torchwood." He was grumbling quite audibly about 'those pushy disrespectful bastards' so I figured he was probably talking about Jack.

.

To think that I might _see_ him – after all this time – made my heart race. I'd never been in a situation that would warrant Torchwood interference before. Well, except for maybe a few Weevil sightings. But they never did – show up I mean. Again, the inspector reminded me that I'd have to stay in the car.

_._

_Probably for the best_, I thought

.

"Have you met them? Torchwood, I mean?" I must have sounded nervous 'cause he looked at me with a question in his eye.

.

"Sure. Once or twice. They just sweep in, take over, mouth off, then sweep out again. And they usually leave a hell of a mess." He didn't sound impressed.

.

"Do you know anyone by name?" I was really pushing the envelope here and I knew it.

.

"Ah … let's see. I think the boss is called Har-k-ness? Apparently he's quite the thing with the ladies." He really didn't sound impressed.

.

While we were chatting, I'd rolled the window down a smidge to combat the stale air collecting in the Inspector's tiny car so when I heard the tell-tale squealing of tires I craned my neck to get a better look. The squealing of tires was promptly followed by a bevy of loud angry curses interspersed with numerous fearful yelps as a group of disgruntled people threw themselves out of the path of oncoming danger. Luckily no one was hurt but it was a close call.

.

As the obnoxiously large and flashy, gas-guzzling all-terrain vehicle slid to an abrupt halt at the threshold of the crime scene a cloud of fine dust wafted upwards and then spiraled downwards before finally settling upon the nearby vehicles and people like a cloak of filth. Needless to say, I quickly rolled up my window.

.

Evidently, Torchwood had arrived.

.

They opened their doors in practiced unison and stepped out with cases and equipment in their hands. I couldn't see very well because as I mentioned, the windows were now covered in a fine layer of dust. But it was _him_; I would know that stride _anywhere_. They passed the barrier and swept into the warehouse without a moment's hesitation.

.

_That's so Jack, _I thought wistfully.

.

I was just about to make some snide comment when I heard shouting. So did the Inspector because he grabbed his door handle and made to exit the vehicle in all due haste – but not before he reiterated his directive that I was to _remain in the car_.

.

I saw the Inspector approach the commanding scene officer who as far as I could tell basically shrugged in response to his question. I guess we'd all have to just wait and see.

.

A brief flash of movement caught my attention on the second floor. We could see someone moving around with a torch in the utter darkness of the warehouse.

.

We saw people running around, heard gun fire and then there was a great deal of shouting. Then we watched as one by one, each member of the Torchwood team ran out or just threw themselves clear of the building followed quickly by an explosion which blew out the back wall of the building.

.

The blowfish came running out of the blown out wall and then there was Jack tackling him into the rubble. It was a _gorgeous_ sight. The rest of his team swooped in and secured the damn blowfish for once and for all. They jabbed him with something and then secured a bag over his head – no doubt to allow for the "it's just a crazy guy in a fish mask" cover-up story to be more convincing. They literally chucked him into the boot and once again in unison they slid into their seats and a moment later that obnoxious truck screeched away.

.

I wonder if I ever looked that cool?

.

* * *

><p><em>TW Ianto's Journal TW Ianto's Journal TW<em>

* * *

><p><em>.<em>

_August 27, 2003_

_._

_Stupid blowfish. Freaky, evil, rank bastards. _

_._

_Jack. Beautiful, reckless sexy Jack. Oh, I miss you. I need to jerk off something fierce. Well, at least I've got some fresh material to work with …_

_._

_I couldn't stop laughing at the Inspector. He ranted the whole way home about the mess they left behind for everyone else to clean up. It's quite a novelty seeing the aftermath from this perspective. Torchwood really does leave one hell of a mess behind where ever they go._

_._

_**To do**__: seriously reconsider Torchwood (see: blowfish!)_

_**.**_

_**Not to do**__: don't pine, pining causes wrinkles._

_._

* * *

><p><em>TW Ianto's Journal TW Ianto's Journal TW<em>

* * *

><p>.<p>

.

**_Chapter 4.3 (Telepathy Hurts) coming soon..._**

.


	9. C4,3 Telepathy Hurts

_**4 -Can't Take the Para Out of My Normal**_

_**…. Part 3: Telepathy Hurts **_

**W/C**: 1335 ish  
><strong>WARNINGSCONTENT**: first person POV, copious vulgarity (because I am still a potty-mouth), *mentions of mind rape  
><strong>SUMMARY<strong>: Ianto attempts to lead a 'normal' life working at the precinct but he keeps getting dragged into paranormal situations.  
><strong>IANTO'S NEW TIMELINE<strong>: Apr 2004  
><strong>CHARACTERS<strong>: Ianto, Inspector Donaldson, some cops, a telepathic alien

* * *

><p>.<p>

.

There's _no way_ in hell that thing could've been mistaken for human, not even on a moonless, near pitch-black street, not even if you were glancing at it from very far away without your glasses on. It was way too tall and its mouth was way too small. The way it walked was eerie and … oh it was just bad - altogether bad.

.

Apparently, some telepathic races don't communicate using words. They communicate with thoughts, memories, feelings or images. It is therefore important to note that accuracy would vary greatly from person to person. It would depend to some degree how good you are at creating pictures or images that correctly reflect what you want to say. It would also depend on your ability to send and receive. It's an extremely unreliable way to communicate and in any sensitive interplanetary political context, one that's fraught with danger (_and pain_).

.

It was just _so_ tall. It was like the last time I had to sit in the first row at the movie theatre. I had to crane my neck up so sharply that I'm sure I'll have a kink in it for at least a week. And why they made me, a pitiful height in comparison, be the one to have that little chat with the thing I'll never know. But they did.

.

I suppose their reasoning was fairly clear. It pointed at me after all. Plus, I _**heard**_ it. Well, I'm not sure _heard_ is the correct word. It was more like I _felt_ it in my head; scrambling around in there, poking and scratching. I had no idea what it wanted or what it was trying to say – _at first_. So they just pushed me forwards, towards it, with no regard for my bloody safety.

.

Well, that's not exactly true either. The Inspector was having kittens. He was just hiding it very well. But the question was there in his eyes, "do you want to do this?" or perhaps it was "do you want to run away now?" I think it's a toss-up. Either way, me being the fool that I am, just nodded and said it was fine. Why am I always saying that it's bloody fine when it's obviously not bloody fine? Note to self: _**seek help**_. This is a serious character flaw. One that will no doubt get me killed.

.

So I approached very slowly, and all the while my mind was spinning and the one thought that kept coming to the forefront was _I wish I had a nice immortal standing between me and that thing right now_. It's been quite a while since I've had that thought. It's been quite a while since I've been in such an imminently dangerous situation. An interesting turn of events really. This is _exactly_ why I haven't gone to London and _precisely_ why I haven't joined Torchwood.

.

The second thought that kept my blood pumping far too fast was _these guys have no idea just how bad this situation could/is likely to get_. But there was no one else. It was us or no one. So I steeled myself - for what I hadn't a clue – but I steeled myself none the less. And then I tried a little smile and I tried to move my limbs as little as possible. You never know what other species'll consider offensive after all. I wasn't even sure if I could actually communicate with this thing but I was willing to give it a try.

.

I needn't have worried. I had very little control over the situation. I certainly did not initiate contact. Nor did I direct the conversation. And I could not by any means stop the overwhelming stream of images that once started, refused to cease. All I could do was stand there; how I don't know but stand there stiff as a statue I did. All my other senses got put on pause while my mind – fragile, bare and exposed – was basically pillaged and raped. It flicked through my memories so fast that I barely registered the action. If it weren't for the pauses – the snapshots taken out and examined in detail and then the mental questioning *_**what is this?* *explain?* **_ I wouldn't have had a clue what was happening.

.

Of course, it chose the strangest memories – rather _moments_ - to analyze: a kiss, a scene from a movie, a family dinner, holding my newborn nephew, trimming the Christmas tree, learning to drive, swimming in the sea; the list went on and on.

.

While each one was important in its own way, none represented for me a great milestone or a great secret. They just didn't seem relevant to the current situation. And they certainly didn't help me communicate any better. But that didn't seem to be the purpose of the current rather thorough exploration of my gray matter. _I think_ it was trying to understand me; my life, my role, my joys, my dreams, my fears.

.

Up 'til this point it hadn't _sent_ anything. It had only _taken_ –demanded information - and I was forced to passively endure. But then it started sending flashes of scenes; scenes I hadn't ever seen before. They were scenes from its life, its role, its joys, its dreams and its fears. It was an exchange of information but it was a lot of information.

.

It was too much all at once and it hurt so intensely, so deeply that my face must have been frozen in a grimace of pain because the Inspector's voice became recognizable above the din and the alien was forced to stop whatever it was doing. Then I realized I was crumpled on the ground and keening, in a most unbecoming emasculating way.

.

It was then that the alien (I still didn't know if it had a gender and I certainly didn't know its name) stooped down and placed its long cool hand across my brow. The Inspector held up a hand to forestall any reaction from the drawn and trembling weapons trained upon us. The alien must have known it was on shaky ground because it bowed its head slightly towards him.

.

Then it surprised me even further. It _soothed me_; it surrounded my mind in a cool, soothing soup of affection and then it _thanked me_ for sharing my mind. It showed me that I had only a limited psychic ability to work with which was why it hurt so much. It was _sorry_ for the pain and it only wanted _to see - to learn - to know - to meet_. It would leave now. It was _thankful_. I mumbled these words to the breathless onlookers. The alien stood up, turned and walked away.

.

That's it. That's all I remember because apparently I passed-out, good and proper. Once again, I'm being congratulated for something completely unworthy of praise. I allowed myself to be mentally assaulted by a curious intergalactic tourist.

.

They keep saying "_brave … amazing … courageous … awesome, inspiring" _… and I keep saying "_I fell down screaming … how is that awesome_?"

.

.

* * *

><p><em>TW Ianto's Journal TW Ianto's Journal TW<em>

* * *

><p><em>.<em>

_04/12/04_

_._

_That sucked. I've just woken up in the hospital. Apparently, I've been unconscious for a day and a half. _

_._

_I officially hate telepathic aliens. My head feels like it's going to fall off or at the very least ooze out of my ears. I may have 'rudimentary psychic skills' as that damn arrogant alien put it but they are obviously not strong enough to have a side-walk chat with a telepathic alien. _

_._

_To do: develop psychic skills_

_Not to do: do not get mind raped – again._

* * *

><p><em>TW Ianto's Journal TW Ianto's Journal TW<em>

* * *

><p>.<p>

.

I've tried, I really have. I've applied myself academically and I've done my time (and then some) enduring reruns. I've taken jobs that would send most people running for the hills mad from the boredom. I've adjusted myself, my thinking. I've made new friends and I've fixed things with my family.

.

My life's better than ever.

.

I'm happy.

.

_Mostly_.

.

I just want to be normal.

.

I just want to live.

.

And be safe.

.

I've given so much just so that I don't have to lose myself to Torchwood One. I just can't seem to escape this crazy alien shit. It follows me everywhere I go.

.

I am a shit _magnet_.

.

Every day I strive for normalcy.

.

And what do I get?

.

Weevils, Blowfish and bloody telepathic aliens!

.

My normal is not what you'd normally call normal.

.

I guess you can't take the _**para**_ out of my normal after all.

.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

_To be continued in_ … Chapter 5: Watching, Waiting and Crying the Blues

.

.

**IANTO'S NEW TIMELINE**

C1 [08/20/01]-Restart  
>C1 [09xx/01]-Uni yr 1 of 4, chg courses, weapons training, meets: Inspector Donaldson (I.D.)  
>C1 [09xx/01]-Self-defense course (1st time), adjusts lifestyle  
>C2 [10xx/01]-Roastery job, starts meeting foxy boys and girls  
>C2 [11xx/01]-hangs with I.D. at the 'club', gains +role models, I.D. becomes mentor, goes on 'ride-alongs'  
>C2 [12xx/01]-connects with sis and dad, struggles with reruns  
>C3.1 [0102/02]-Quits Roastery job, starts library job, gets research access  
>C3.1 [0201/02]-Starts Criminology Internship, self-defense course (2nd time), meets Colin  
>C3.1 [xxxx/02]-meets threshold guardian, defended by friends  
>C3.2 [05xx/02]-'ship with Colin begins, poker night; becomes the teacher  
>C3.3 [xxxx/02]-witnesses big fight btn Rhi & Dad  
>C3.3 [12xx/02]-dad dies  
>C3.3 [01xx/03]-part time job at Police department  
>C4.1 [0303]-weevil hunting  
>C4.2 [0803]-blowfish  
>C4.3 [0404]-telepathic alien

.

.


	10. C5 Watching, Waiting & Crying the Blues

**_5.0 – Watching, Waiting and Crying the Blues_**

**W/C:** (Prologue + Part 1) 4049 + (Part 2) 3769 + (Part 3) 5573 = ~13391  
><strong>Warningscontent:** continued first person POV, 9th Doctor DWXTW crossover, probably swearing, probably sexual innuendo, and definitely some slash in part 3  
><strong>Summary: <strong>Finally the time has come; he finds the one man who can shed some light on his timeline problem.  
><strong>Ianto's New Timeline:<strong> September 8-10, 2005  
><strong>Characters: <strong>Ianto, 9th Doctor, TARDIS, mortal-Jack, immortal-Jack, Rose, Micky, mentions of Margaret, Slitheen hatchery nursemaid, Torchwood team

Chapter 5 is also in 3 Parts:

C5.0 [09/08/05] Prologue – Journal entry  
>C5.1 [0908/05] Screwing with the Universe  
>C5.2 [0909/05] Pandimensional Surfboards are Stupid  
>C5.3 [0910/05] Parting Gifts

**A/N: For the purposes of this story I have decided to subscribe to the Concurrent Timeline (as referred to by the author of Ianto's Desktop on LJ); there is also an excellent alternative version which they call the Delayed Timeline. Both are completely believable and valid as far I can see. So I picked one. If you would like to check them out then just remove the spaces before you cut and paste.  
><strong>

http : / lefaym . livejournal . com / 22789 . html **(CONCURRENT TIMELINE)**

http : / iantos - desktop . livejournal . com / 8454 . html # cutid1 **(DELAYED TIMELINE)**

**And just in case you weren't confused enough, here's another source:**

http : / www . doctorwhochronology . com / homepageold / drwhoold / 21to25c . htm

* * *

><p>.<p>

.

**Watching, Waiting and Crying the Blues**

.

_**Prologue**_

.

* * *

><p><em>TW Ianto's Journal TW Ianto's Journal TW<em>

* * *

><p><em>.<em>

_September 8, 2005_

_._

_When I first woke up years ago in this timeline I wrote down everything I could remember in my journal. I've spent all this time watching and waiting - for time to pass, for a change in me, for opportunities, for Jack or for the Doctor. There were times – so many times – that I didn't know why or what I was waiting for – but today I know for certain – that this is something worth waiting for – something worth doing._

_._

_Today's the day I finally test my memory. It's the first time in years that all my notes will come in handy. _

_._

_I know the Doctor's going to park on the rift to refuel. I remember because there was a huge rift anomaly observed on that day. _

_._

_I remember reading about the Cardiff earthquake (that wasn't really an earthquake) on October 8__th__, 2005. _

_._

_I remember what Jack said. The Doctor's bound to come back to Cardiff eventually since he has to refuel on the rift._

_._

_I've been camped out here on the Roald Dahl __Plas__ in front of the Millennium Centre for a few days now because hey, let's face it, were talking about the Doctor and there's no telling what time he might show up. _

_._

_Ironically, he's not known for having a very reliable sense of time. The idea that a Time Lord couldn't get anywhere on time is just atrocious. It's enough to drive me mad, if I weren't already half way there. _

.

_**To do:**__ today's the big day so keep your wits, pack a lunch and remember your towel_

_**.**_

_**Not to do:**__ don't freak out – remember you're cool, you're awesome – go me!_

_._

* * *

><p><em>TW Ianto's Journal TW Ianto's Journal TW<em>

* * *

><p>.<p>

.

_**Turn the page for … Chapter 5.1 Screwing with the Universe  
><strong>_


	11. C5,1 Screwing with the Universe

_**5 - Watching, Waiting and Crying the Blues**_

_**…..Part 1: Screwing with the Universe**_

**W/C:** 4049  
><strong>Warningscontent: **continued first person POV, 9th Doctor DWXTW crossover, probably swearing, probably sexual innuendo, probably OOC for everybody  
><strong>Summary:<strong> Ianto stalks the Doctor and arranges to run into him but he gets more than he bargained for.  
><strong>Characters:<strong> Ianto, mortal-Jack, 9th Doctor, Rose, TARDIS, Margaret-egg, Slitheen nursemaid  
><strong>Ianto's New Timeline:<strong> September 8, 2005

_*****A/N:**__ If you'd like some additional sensory input __**while**__ you are reading this Chapter watch __**Doctor Who Series 1.11 Boomtown**__ from where Micky gets off the train in Cardiff until they turn Margaret into an egg. There are lots of changes but the background scenery, locations and some dialogue are the same._

* * *

><p>.<p>

.

It was a rare fine weather day in Cardiff. The sky was a lovely robin's egg blue scattered thinly with little wispy white clouds. The sun had begun its descent leaving long shadows stretched across the flagstones.

.

In my humble opinion, it was a perfect day to screw with the universe.

.

And to see the Doctor too, of course.

.

The TARDIS was parked on the Plas right next to the waterfall. I had a good clear view of the door from the park bench. I was leaning up against the white railing pretending to read a book.

.

I saw a young man approaching from a distance purposefully striding across the Plas towards the little blue box.

.

_Showtime_, I thought.

.

He barely had enough time to knock once or twice before the door flew open. Then my heart nearly stopped.

.

Jack appeared in the doorway dressed in a bright blue T-shirt and a pair of snug tan chinos. Before the young man could get out a word, Jack leaned forward and demanded, "who the hell are you?"

.

The visitor made a face of disgust and retorted with equal fervor "whad ju mean who am I? Who the hell are you?"

.

Jack was quick with his introduction but it wasn't accompanied by his usually charming smile. "Cap'n Jack Harkness. Whatever you're selling, where not buying." He tried to slam the door in the young man's screwed-up face but he wasn't having any of that.

.

"Get out of my way!" He shouted as he pushed his way into the TARDIS. Resigned, Jack turned his back and closed the wooden door.

.

It took me a moment to remember to breathe … and then another moment to move …

.

It was now or never; well not _NEVER_ actually, I'd just have to wait a few more years. I stood up and walked over to the waterfall.

.

I had a dilemma. I wanted to get noticed but on my terms. I needed a believable reason to be there so I took out my camera and started taking pictures of the area. I couldn't resist taking a few snaps of the TARDIS as well. I'd been planning this moment for years and now that it was here I was terrified.

.

My heart continued to race and pounded loudly against the inside of my chest. I was teetering between knocking on the door and waiting until they excited. But what if they just left? I didn't want to blow this chance.

.

The Doctor stepped out first and began talking to the others. He said _something_ should take another 24 hours and that they had time to kill.

.

Then the young man pointed out an old lady who was staring at them.

.

Jack answered quickly. He said she was "probably wondering what four people could do in a small wooden box." Then Jack snickered at his own joke and Rose and the Doctor joined in. But the young man, I noticed, didn't even crack a smile at Jack's silly joke.

.

And I thought to myself,_ ah … that's my Jack._

.

The young man was quite obviously unimpressed and in his snarkiest voice, he asked Jack if he was the Captain of The Innuendo Squad.

.

Jack threw a rather nasty grin back at him and made a sarcastic W (whatever) with his fingers.

.

This was obviously a testosterone fueled pissing contest!

.

Those two must be competing for something … or _someone_.

.

At this point, honest to goodness laughter bubbled up from deep within my chest and just exploded out of my mouth. It actually bowled me over so that I was clutching my stomach.

.

I said something like "ha! Ooohh ooh … that's a good one … Captain of the Innuendo Squad … ha ha. Oh, God. That's funny. I haven't laughed like that in … years." Then I sauntered around the little blue box and came up behind the young blond woman so that I was facing both Jack and the Doctor. I had definitely gotten their attention.

.

At first, Jack just looked at me - clearly not sure what to make of my intrusion.

.

Then he smiled at me but it wasn't _that smile_. You know, the one that makes shivers tingle up and down my spine.

.

The Doctor however seemed to stare right through me. He didn't frown as much as I thought he would though so I continued on.

.

I thought I ought to say something nice so I complimented the TARDIS. I said "it's a lovely blue. What do you call it? Would it be TARDIS blue by any chance?" And I thought for sure I'd done it. And I was right.

.

The Doctor flinched and took a step back. He squinted at me - perhaps looking at me with a special Time Lord sense or something. Then he smiled brightly and stepped towards me with his hand extended in greeting.

.

He said hello and then he thanked me. He said he loved the color as well and followed up with, "I think _she's_ beautiful in blue."

.

I said hello back and I agreed that she was indeed very beautiful. I told him I was so glad I ran into him because I've been waiting to see him. I smiled and shook the Doctor's hand vigorously.

.

The Doctor shook my hand for a very long time. He asked me my name and why I'd been waiting.

.

I did my best James Bond impersonation. "Jones. Ianto Jones. It's very nice to meet you Doctor. I need to speak to you about a ... _timeline_ matter." I tried to pitch my voice a little lower so that only the Doctor could hear me clearly.

.

"Oooow. A timeline matter you say? Weelll. That's interesting. EEEEY ANNN TOOO. Nice. I like it."

.

"Thank you."

.

"How do you … know my name by the way? Have we met before? Did I run into you? I do that a lot you see. Terribly sorry…"

.

"No. That's not it."

.

"There wasn't any running? That's odd. There's usually a lot of running."

.

"Who's this Doc? Anything I can do to help?" Jack leaned closer and leered.

.

"Jaaaaack. Stop it." The Doctor admonished.

.

I smirked and I thought … _Jack really hasn't changed that much_.

.

"That's alright" I said, "he's cute." I smirked again and I tried to match his leer but my face betrayed me and went beet-red.

.

Jack leaned in and slid his hand into mine. "Captain Jack Harkness .. at your service…" Man, could he spread it on thick. He was perfectly trained in the art of letching.

.

The Doctor scowled and shook his head. He obviously disapproved. None the less, he invited me to walk with them.

.

He told me they were headed to a café across the bay. Then the Doctor started asking me questions and our pace slowed a bit until we were walking several strides behind the chatty trio.

.

I kept my eyes on Jack as we walked. It was so weird. It was and it wasn't _my_ Jack. There were differences; definite differences.

.

Finally, once the Doctor'd finished asking all of his questions he asked me to tell him my story.

.

"Well..." I said then took a deep breath. "I have this friend or will … he knows you …" I shook my head trying to clear away the timeline induced confusion. "Anyway … at some time in my future and my past … a very close friend of mine knows you very well. He believes you are all knowing." I stole a peak and smiled at the Doctor who was looking quite serious. I sighed loudly then continued. "Doctor you're the only person who could possibly understand what's happening. I need your help."

.

The Doctor pursed his lips and nodded a few times. "I see. This timeline problem is happening to you? _Right now_?"

.

"Yes, it is. It's been … _difficult_. I can't tell anyone. Of course, I won't. But I also need help. I don't want to change anything. But I'm not sure why I would be given this chance if I wasn't supposed to do _something_ differently."

.

"Given … what chance _exactly_?" he asked in a sharper, louder voice and then he stopped abruptly to face me. Jack must have been watching our progress because a moment later so did Jack. He looked at the Doctor with concern. The Doctor waved him off and told them we'd catch them up.

.

I had his full attention now. I wasn't going to waste it. So I just plunged in.

.

"I woke up … one day … in my past … body. In my own bed … when I was _younger_. This is my younger body but I still have my memories from the future." I spoke the words I'd practiced but they sounded ridiculous even to my ears. I stood there and waited for the Doctor's reaction. I figured he'd either laugh or shout at me and then walk away.

.

He didn't do either. In fact, he didn't do or say anything for quite a few minutes. He just stared at me with that far off look again. And then he nodded and muttered to himself.

.

"I see. This _**is**_ a problem."

.

"Yes. It is." I sighed, several years' worth of repressed sighs.

.

"Right! Lunch! Then we'll see if we can figure this out. Ya?" His demeanor suddenly transformed and he became his super-animated self once more.

.

"Okay," I said, "lunch sounds good." We picked up the pace and jogged after the trio who were just about to turn the corner.

.

"Do I look strange to you? You know? Can you tell?" I huffed the words out as we jogged side by side.

.

The Time Lord briefly stuck out his tongue and then made a strange hissing sound as he inhaled sharply before he answered. "There is … something. But it's not clear what it is."

.

"That's vague."

.

"Yessss. It is."

.

We ended up at a quaint little café situated on high stilts suspended over the bay. As the sun began to dip closer to the horizon, the sky took on a pinkish hue. Jack was telling a funny story, of course. It was pleasant. It was so familiar. It was awesome and it was so painful. I wouldn't get to hear that laugh, that voice, see that smile, gaze into those eyes again, for at least another year or so.

.

I couldn't believe my luck. When I woke up this morning I had high hopes of seeing the Doctor but never in a million years did I ever think that I might actually get to see Jack. Never mind _**both**_ Jack _**and**_ the Doctor. Seriously, the _powers that be_ must have been smiling down on me.

.

The Doctor turned to me and spoke quietly as they continued to joke around. "So. How did you know where and when to find me?"

.

"In the future, my friend tells me about how you landed on the rift to refuel. I knew the approximate date but not the exact time. I've been here all week."

.

"I see."

.

Just then I remembered something very important. "Oh. By the way…" I sighed and grimaced as I decided whether or not I ought to toss a spoiler into the mix.

.

"Something bad happens today…" I grimaced and so did he. "There's going to be an earthquake type thing … only it's not actually an earthquake …" I was struggling with exactly how I was supposed to explain this. "You four are supposed to … fix something today. If you know what I mean? I don't want meeting me to … you know … throw things off?"

.

"Really? You seem to have a lot of foreknowledge. That's _really_ dangerous, you know?"

.

"I know. Spoilers."

.

"What did you say?"

.

"Spoilers?"

.

"Just who is this friend of yours?"

.

"He's close."

.

"He's close to me?"

.

"Yep. That too."

.

"What?" He looked towards Jack and raised an eyebrow.

.

Ianto pursed his lips and nodded slightly.

.

"That is _**very dangerous**_ young man! We need to have a serious talk. You and me. Is that _**clear**_?"

.

I was scrunched down in my chair making every effort to disappear. The Doctor continued to glare and point at me. I frowned, raised my eyebrows and surreptitiously motioned with my now bulging eyes towards the very attentive threesome sitting at the table next to us.

.

The Doctor belatedly realized his blunder and smiled wildly. He also lowered his voice quite markedly when next he spoke.

.

"Carry-on. Nothing to see here."

.

Jack and Rose exchanged a well-practiced glance. They continued to look expectantly at the Doctor and refused to carry-on one bit.

.

I picked up the newspaper and flipped through the pages desperate to find something amiss. _Something to do with the power plant if I remembered correctly…_ And I usually did. "What's this?" I said in my best _mock-surprise-don't-mind-me-I'm-a-terrible-actor_ voice and passed the paper to the Doctor.

.

"And I was having such a nice time" said the Doctor with a disappointed scowl.

.

As we were walking up the steps to city hall, the Doctor stopped and spoke to me in his very serious voice. He told me to stay close to him and he insisted that I mustn't go wandering off.

.

I followed the Doctor to the Mayor's office and then followed him as he ran around after some alien named Margaret.

.

We took her back to the TARDIS. It was terrible. She was terrible. She was going to be put to death once they took her home. She was a murderer but it was still terrible.

.

First, Mickey and Rose left and went off on their own. Then the Doctor took Margaret out for her last meal which left Jack and me alone in the TARDIS. Before he left, he told me to watch what I said. Again, he told me not to wander off.

.

"Iantooo …" He kept dragging my name out. It was weird. "… please do _**not**_ pollute the timeline. And … do not _leave_ … you and I … we _need_ to have that chat. And for goodness sake … do not let Jack talk you into anything … naughty!"

.

"You hear me Jack?" He craned his neck and waited for Jack to respond. "Do not corrupt young Mr. Jones here. He is my _guest_."

.

"I wouldn't dream of it Doc" he said while chuckling.

.

"We'll see you shortly" he said to us both as he closed the door behind him.

.

I stood there a moment making every attempt to compose myself. I had to at least compose myself enough to speak. While the Doctor was there I was mostly okay ...

.

HA!

.

Who am I kidding?

.

I haven't been okay for hours. But now that _they're_ all gone and _we're_ all alone … well I was starting to feel entirely _hysterical_. In fact, I was seriously unsure what would come out of my mouth. Laughter? Sarcasm? Anger? I had so much pent up emotion after all these years of frustration/ confusion/ boredom/ anger/ fear / loneliness / regret.

.

How much of this was I blaming on Jack? At the moment, it felt like a hell of a lot. I had thought so many times …

_._

_Why didn't he save me?  
>Why didn't he leave me behind?<br>Why didn't he know they'd use germ warfare?  
><em>_**Why? Why? Why?**_

_**.**_

He was looking at me closely. He looked a bit concerned. I guess I must have been scowling. I must have been giving him the _I-want-to-maim-or-kill-you_ look. It was stupid – after _all_ this time – and it wasn't even his _fault _– and it hadn't even happened to _this_ Jack - so I just shook it off – best I could.

.

_This is your second chance,_ I reminded myself.

.

"So … Captain Harkness … what are you working on?" Oh, that was such a _lame question._

_._

"Jack, _please_" he insisted and flashed me that staggering grin.

.

"Wow. That's quite the smile you've got there." _Holy shit! I can't believe I said that out loud_.

.

"Ah … _thank you_" he grinned. "Alright if I call you Ianto?" He put down the part he was working on and shimmied under the console. He was lying on his back but he could still see me from where I was standing. Then he started rolling my name around in his mouth. I had to steady myself against the railing. I _swear_ my knees went weak. "_Ii-aa-n-t-oo._ _Ooooh._" He shivered. "I love that name. Welsh is such a … _nice_ language. Especially when spoken by such a gorgeous guy like yourself…" and again he flashed me the megawatt smile.

.

It's undeniable - it really is - he is one fucking gorgeous man.

.

I may have sighed – _loudly_.

.

This was dangerous territory. I had to keep it clean. The Doctor would be none too pleased with either of us and I desperately needed his help. So I did my best to steer the conversation off its current course and away from any rolling of anything in anyone's mouth. Frankly, I think I deserve a freaking medal. My hormones were doing the rumba and Jack was smelling very, very yummy.

.

_Damn those pheromones!_

.

"How did it get broken?" I asked soberly.

.

"Well … it's not actually broken. We just need to speed things up a bit. The Doctor wants to get out of here a little faster so I'm rigging this tribophysical waveform macro-kinetic extrapolator so the TARDIS can use it as a power source."

.

"Uh..mmm. That's quite a mouth full. Is it going to work?" _Why do I keep coming back to his mouth?_

.

"Of course it's going to work!"

.

"You have _no idea_ do you?"

.

He chuckled and confessed "no … actually … I have no idea."

.

"You'll figure it out. I'm sure you're good at this type of thing."

.

"I am actually." He looked at me funny just then and asked "have we met before? You seem … very familiar?"

.

"Nope. You definitely don't know me."

.

"How do you know the Doctor? It was kinda weird how you just happened to be outside the TARDIS today. Most people don't even notice it. They just walk on by."

.

"You just have to know where to look."

.

"And you do?"

.

"What?"

.

"Know where to look?"

.

I nodded. "I do."

.

"It's strange. So how do you know him? You travel with him before?"

.

"No. Never travelled with him." I bit my lip.

.

"It's okay. You can tell me. I'm trustworthy." He grinned.

.

I barked out a laugh that shocked him. He pouted and tried to look hurt but the lie was just too obvious to the both of us.

.

"Trustworthy? Really? Can you even say that with a straight face?"

.

"Ouch. That really hurt. I'll have you know that I'm reformed … since I met the Doctor and Rose. I've reformed." His voice went up an octave at the end of his last word. _Liar!_ He was still grinning through his attempt at a pained look. All in all, not very convincing.

.

"So?" he prodded.

.

He's like a damn dog with a bone. "We have a mutual friend. He's told me about the doctor. I thought he could help me with my little problem."

.

"You said you have a timeline problem right?"

.

I must have had an _oh-shit-you're-not-supposed-to-know-that_ face because he tried to reassure me as my mouth flapped open and I rolled up into a tense little ball of stress. He sat up and raised a hand in apology. "I'm sorry … I didn't mean to eavesdrop … I have really good hearing … plus I'm kind of nosey. It's okay though … I won't say anything … I promise."

.

I backed up a bit. I needed a moment to straighten out my thoughts. How much did he _hear_? How the hell did I end up in a spaceship with (a younger version of) Jack? Of all people? Of all the places? How did this shit keep happening to me?

.

_I'm a shit magnet._

.

He must have gotten worried that I'd run away or something because the next thing I knew he was standing right beside me and he was nervous. "Hey, don't freak out okay? The Doc's gonna kill me if you bolt. I'm sorry. I'll stop asking questions. I'm sorry. Just don't go anywhere."

.

I flinched a smidgeon when I realized he was standing right next to me. "Ya. I'm fine. I'm not going anywhere. But I think you need to stop asking me so many questions."

.

"Okay" he said as he held up his hands in surrender "no problem. Good as done!" Then he went back to the console and picked up his repairs where he'd left off.

.

After a moment's reflection, I realized that I'd stumbled into quite a unique situation. What an excellent opportunity this was; finally a chance to _ask_ some questions. He didn't even know who I was - had no reason to keep his past a secret from me - it's not as if I worked for him. So I totally snooped.

.

"So where are you from Jack?" I leaned up against the nearest column of coral and took great pleasure in the view.

.

"Ahhh." He hesitated and looked at me as if he was assessing my trustworthiness.

.

"It's okay. You can tell me. I'm _trustworthy_." I laughed at my own joke mostly to lighten the mood but I was also trying to give the impression that I didn't really care about his answer as much as I did.

.

He smiled and shrugged. "I'm from a little place called the Boeshane Peninsula. It's … it's in the Isop Galaxy. I'm kinda far from home." His voice took on a distant edge and became quieter as he spoke his last words. I looked carefully at his face; he seemed sad and his eyes seemed to be seeing something far, far away.

.

"Thank you," I said. The words just slipped out before I realized how strange and out of place they'd sounded. "It's hard … being so far away from home."

.

"Mmmm."

.

"So how long have you been travelling with the Doctor?" I asked quickly hoping to change the mood.

.

"Well, it seems like a long time but it hasn't been that long actually … time moves strangely in the TARDIS. I met him and Rose in London during the war."

.

"Were you in the military?"

.

"No … not really." He seemed hesitant again.

.

I was a little confused. "So what was your job then?"

.

"Well … I was running a few cons actually. Not really proud of that time of my life …" He looked genuinely embarrassed.

.

This Jack was so different; so raw. His emotions were so close to the surface; so easy to read, nothing like my Jack. Something big must have happened between now and then for him to change so dramatically.

.

"How did you end up in London?"

.

"I was avoiding the Time Agency and it seemed like a good place to hide while I made some money."

.

"What's the Time Agency?"

.

He pursed his lips, thought it over and then answered. "It's a huge organization that kind of monitors and polices time. I guess they're kind of like the Doctor only they've got a financial agenda as well."

.

"That's huge." I was shocked. What a concept. Time police? _Holy crap!_ "Where you … a Time Agent?"

.

"Ya. For a while. But then ... we had a falling out and I left. They didn't _like_ that too much. No one _leaves_."

.

"That's amazing." I was awed - seriously awed. I'd always thought Jack was awesome but this just took him to a whole new level of cool.

.

* * *

><p><em><strong>To be continued … Chapter 5, Part 2: Pandimensional Surfboards are Stupid <strong>_

_**.**_

_**.**_


	12. C5,2 Pandimensional Surfboards R Stupid

_**5 - Watching, Waiting and Crying the Blues  
><strong>_

_**... Part 2: Pandimensional Surfboards are Stupid**_

**W/C:** 3769  
><strong>Warningscontent: **continued first person POV, 9th Doctor DWXTW crossover, probably swearing, probably sexual innuendo, probably OOC for everybody  
><strong>Summary:<strong> Ianto takes a quick trip in the TARDIS and spends some quality time with the Doctor, Rose and mortal-Jack  
><strong>Characters:<strong> Ianto, mortal-Jack, immortal-Jack, 9th Doctor, Rose, TARDIS, the Torchwood team  
><strong>Ianto's New Timeline:<strong> September 8, 2005

* * *

><p>.<p>

.

_**Beep – Beep – Beep**_

_**.**_

I looked down towards the quiet beeping sound and I realized it was coming from Jack's fancy surfboard. I could see a little red light flashing on the underside. I bent down and turned it over so I could get a better look.

.

"Ah … Jack? Is this thing supposed to be beeping and blinking?"

.

"What thing? What? That? It's beeping? Oh, no! no! no! … that's _**not**_ good." I was crouched down over the beeping and blinking surfboard and he quickly scooted over next to me. He took it and turned it over in his hands to examine the dials. "This is not supposed to be doing that …" he said with apprehension threaded through his voice.

.

"Can you hear that?"

.

"What? What's beeping now?"

.

"No, it's not beeping I hear … it's like thunder. Can't you feel it? Like an earthqu-a– oh shit. Something's wrong with the rift! Dammit! Why'd the Doctor have to go and have a date tonight? I told him …" I just muttered away to myself, pacing and pulling at my hair like a crazy old man.

.

Jack ran to the monitor and checked the readings. They verified my prediction. The rift was opening right above us. It was the stupid beepy blinky surfboard after all! I knew that thing was no good!

.

"It's the extrapolator! It's locked onto the TARDIS's power source and its ripping the rift wide open!" He was frantically running around the console lurching back and forth spinning dials and flipping switches but to no avail. The thunder and quaking just kept getting stronger.

.

"Shut it off!"

.

"I can't!"

.

"Disconnect it!"

.

"I did!"

.

"What?"

.

"It's disconnected!"

.

"What the fuck!"

.

"No idea!"

.

We stood there, eyes locked across the console, sweating, panting, hearts pounding and all the while there was a little itch in the back of my brain. It just hovered and poked annoyingly persistent. Like a memory only less familiar – like someone whispering in my ear – only more annoying than that.

.

Then I got an idea. "We need a containment unit!

.

"Great idea!"

.

"Well?"

.

"I dunno! I've no idea where the Doctor'd keep a containment unit!"

.

"The rift is going to rip this city apart! We need one now Jack!"

.

Then I heard it again only this time it was much clearer.

.

_*sonic screwdriver*_

_._

_*Torchwood* _

_._

"What the _**HELL **_was that?" I thought maybe he'd heard it too.

_._

"WHAT NOW?" He hadn't. He looked frantically around the room.

_._

"Nothing" I muttered. I was finally losing my mind. But this was a bad time to loose one's mind so tentatively I said, "I keep hearing whispering in my head. It's driving me nuts." I felt like a crazy person.

.

"Whispering? Whispering. Hmmm. Like what?" he pondered. "Oh hell, Ianto is this really the time?" He was getting fed up and I couldn't blame him.

.

"What's a sonic screwdriver?"

.

He frowned but held his left hand up for me to see. He was holding a little silver gadget in it. "Like this?"

.

"I don't know? _**It**_ just told me to use it… OH! I know! I KNOW how to use it! I know where I can find a containment unit too! Give it to me!" I lurched towards him and held out my hand.

.

"What are you going do with it?"

.

"I'll bring it back I promise!"

.

"NO WAY! The Doctor will KILL me if I give you his sonic and let you run off with it!"

.

"I promise," I begged. I stepped up and put a hand on his shoulder and I looked into his eyes. "We don't have time. I think the ship is talking to me. It told me what to do. You have to shut it off and I have to get this thing away from it. I know how to get into Torchwood – it's just below us. I'm going to take the stupid surfboard-"

.

"Extrapolator!"

.

"Whatever! I'll take it down into the Torchwood vault. It'll block the signal and then you can close the rift. I'll come right back. I swear it Jack."

.

"I don't know…"

.

"We don't have time for this. Look, is it possible for the ship to be talking to me? Have I totally dropped my basket?"

.

"It's possible. It's telepathic. But why you?"

.

"I have _NO_ idea. We have to hurry. Give it to me."

.

"Fine ... here ... take it ... be careful ... and _please_ come back."

.

"I will!" I yelled over my shoulder as I ran out of the TARDIS with the Doctor's sonic screwdriver in one hand and that cursed blinky beepy surfboard in the other.

.

My mind was reeling. The ship was talking to me. What the hell was wrong with me?

.

_How many times do I have to say it?_

_._

_I'm a shit magnet!_

.

I had a couple of choices. I could try the Tourist Office or the lift. The lift would be much faster, more direct as long as the screwdriver worked like the TARDIS said it would.

.

I ran towards the stone I'd been so familiar with in my past life. I'd stood on this very spot and used this lift so many times but always it was Jack's wrist strap or someone inside who'd activated it.

.

So I cleared my mind of everything except the thought _*activate the invisible lift_* and I pressed the button. The buzzing sound it emitted was comforting and the little blue light soothing. The stone jerked once and then began its decent into the depths of the Torchwood hub.

.

It was dark and strangely quiet. It was missing something … then I realized … I couldn't hear Myfanwy's dulcet screeches in the background.

.

Above me though, I could still hear the rumbling, ripping sounds of the aggravated rift and feel the trembling, jerking spasms as the Earth above me cracked and tore apart.

.

I silently prayed that the hub would be empty, that I could just contain this stupid pandimensional surfboard and get the hell out of there.

.

The lights were low, lower than normal and I couldn't see any movement on the ground floor or in Jack's office. As soon as the lift collided with the floor I jumped off it and sprinted for the containment unit built into the far wall. It didn't need a code but it was a bitch to open. But I'd long since mastered its little complexities. I slid the outer latch to the right and gave it a wack with my fist. And like magic it popped open.

.

One down and one to go.

.

As I slid the drawer out towards me I started praying again that the inner lock-box wasn't locked … but it was.

.

_**Shit!**_

.

I still had the beeping flashing surfboard in one hand and the sonic screwdriver in the other. It had worked on the lift but on a padlock? How could I know? Even if it could unlock a padlock I had _no idea_ how to do it.

.

_*just think it*_

.

There is was again! The ship! In my damn head! It was disconcerting to say the least.

.

But I did as I was told. I thought *_unlock*_

.

I pushed the button and thought my brains out.

.

_**Click**_

.

"Alright! Two for two! TARDIS you rock!" I was so happy the damn thing worked I almost did a dance of joy – _almost_.

.

I slipped the now _thoroughly-hated-cursed-blinky-beepy_ pandimensional surfboard into the alien lock-box and slammed it shut. I slid the drawer back into the shelf and heaved an incredibly loud sigh of relief. I put my hands on the wall and just hung my head a moment trying to catch my breath.

.

Gradually, the rumbling above started to quiet and the shaking started to subside.

.

It was time to get back to the TARDIS. The Doctor would be so mad at Jack if I lost his sonic screwdriver.

.

But then the quiet hub seemed a bit less quiet all of a sudden … and I heard shuffling and then a _**click**_. I knew that _**click**_. Damn that _**click **_could mean only one thing.

.

"Turn around. Slowly. Hands in air. Where I can see them." His voice was low and menacing. I knew that voice too.

.

_Shit._ This was _**not **_a good thing.

.

The Doctor was gonna be so _pissed_.

.

I held up my hands as directed and turned to face him. "I was gonna leave a note …" I said cheekily.

.

Oops. I'd miscalculated. I turned and was greeted by not one but a total of five rather large guns pointed right at my head.

.

I smiled. I beamed. I almost started crying.

.

I looked at her, all serious, trying to look tough.

.

What a sight. What an angel.

.

"_Tosh_, you're so beautiful!" I gasped and my chest constricted. I was utterly shocked to see my beloved _dead _Tosh standing before me. It had been so long. Her first death would not be in vain if I had _anything_ to say about it!

.

Jack looked questioningly at her? She had no idea who I was. She shrugged. That just pissed him off more.

.

I probably shouldn't have said anything - especially not her damn name. Oooh well, it was too late to do anything about it after the fact.

.

"Who the hell are you? And what the hell are you doing in here?" he demanded.

.

"Better question Jack … how the hell did he know how to open that stupid thing? I can't even open it half the time…" He muttered as only Owen could. Of course Owen would have two guns. Who the hell points two guns at someone? I'll bet he'd watched too many crap action movies lately.

.

Jack seemed to think about it a minute and nodded. Then he frowned. He took a step forward and stared at my hand.

.

I held the screwdriver out for him so he could see it more clearly.

.

I nodded. "It _**is**_ what you _**think**_ it is. I need to give it back to him. That thing I put in the lock-box was ripping the rift open so I had to get it away from the TARDIS." I was so nervous my voice was jerky and a little too high pitched. I felt like I was regressing in age back before puberty. "You should probably not open it for a while." I shrugged, my hands still high in the air above my head, and smiled a little mischievously.

.

Jack stood there, shock clearly splattered all over him, for nearly a full minute. Then he lowered his gun and holstered it. He told the others, "put 'em away. He's okay." Tosh and Owen lowered their guns and hesitantly wandered off to their respective work stations.

.

Suzie stood her ground and demanded, "who the hell is he Jack!"

.

"I said he's alright. Now, back to work Suzie." He looked at her pointedly.

.

She looked at him stubbornly refusing to lower her eyes but eventually went back to her workstation. They kept an eye on me though while I spoke to Jack.

.

"Can I put my hands down now? My arms are getting really tired?" I whined.

.

"Ya. Of course." He ran a hand through his hair and then looked up. "He's up there?"

.

"Yes."

.

"You travel with him?"

.

"No."

.

"What's with the one word answers? You were rambling a few minutes ago?"

.

"I was panicking." I chuckled and was rewarded with a gleaming smile.

.

"Can I see that?"

.

"Sure. But I …" I hesitated and clutched the sonic to my chest. "… have to give it back … soon … I promised." I bit my lip. I was worried that he would confiscate it or something.

.

He nodded. I placed the sonic screwdriver in his open hand. He inspected it closely and pushed the button.

.

"This is his" he confirmed, his voice strangely quiet.

.

"Ya. It is."

.

"Had to check." He shrugged and then passed it back to me. I had to admit that I was breathing much easier when it was safely in my pocket.

.

"So how do ya know Tosh? She doesn't know you." He looked at me expectantly.

.

I flinched and shook my head. I whispered "I can't say. I'm sorry I shouldn't have called her by name. I was … just surprised."

.

"I see. Is it a timey-wimey thing?"

.

I nodded emphatically and stole a final glance at Tosh and Owen.

.

"Okay." He shrugged, nodded and just accepted my ridiculous excuse. "How'd you get into the hub exactly? Do I need to upgrade my security?"

.

I shook my head. "No. I came down the lift." I tossed my head in its direction.

.

He frowned. "How did ya know it was there? It's invisible."

.

"Yes, it _is_ invisible. You're _right_. It is _definitely_ invisible. Would you believe the Doctor told me about it?"

.

"I might." He didn't look very convinced though. I was doing a piss poor job of this. My stealth had gone down the drain in a matter of seconds.

.

"Your security is fine. We needed your containment unit. I'm sorry I didn't have time to ask permission. We were in a bit of a hurry."

.

"He's always in a hurry" he countered. He huffed out a breath and then motioned towards the lift. I went first and he followed. "Well, we'd better get you back up there. He'll be wanting his sonic back." He stepped onto the lift and waited patiently for me the climb aboard.

.

My mouth hung open unattractively no doubt and I sputtered. "You _**can't**_ … you _**really**_ shouldn't … I should go alone." I winced. He could be so contrary. There was no way in hell he'd stay down here now.

.

He tilted his head and looked at me, puzzled. He frowned and pursed his lips. Finally, he shook his head and apologized. "Sorry. Can't do that. Now you've piqued my curiosity."

.

"_Damn._" I knew it. I got on the lift and pouted a little. Couldn't help it. "He's gonna be mad at me you know? Please, just don't go _**into**_ the TARDIS okay?"

.

"Ohhh. Am _**I**_ in there?" He was grinning and obviously excited. "I've never seen myself before …"

.

"Oh God, please! He'll _KILL_ me! You _**can't**_! He'll never forgive me!" I begged. I actually clasped my hands and begged. I was seriously begging.

.

"Okay … okay. I won't go in. But could you at least ask him to come out?" He pleaded.

.

"I'll ask but Jack … I don't think he will. Things are really confusing right now." I shook my head.

.

He considered what I said and he agreed. "You're probably right. But I really have to talk to him. Would you please try?"

.

"Of course. I'll try. Hell, I'll beg, I'll … guilt trip … whatever I can think of."

.

He smiled widely. "Thanks. Hey! How come ya know my name … oh never mind. Stupid question. You've already met me … other me is in the TARDIS right? But why don't I remember you? That's weird. Isn't it?"

.

"Oh. Shit. I have no idea. We'd have to … ahhh … ask the Doctor." My headache was steadily growing out of control so I grabbed my temples and tried to stop them from pounding too far away from my scalp. "I am in soooo much shit." I started to fret. I was going to be scolded, throttled and perhaps tossed out on my ear.

.

The lift came to a jerky stop as the stone slid back into place on the Plas. I was extremely relieved to see that the TARDIS was still there. I turned to Jack, quickly put my palms on his chest and held him in place. It was an intimate gesture but I hadn't noticed it at the time. Jack did and he brought his own hands up to cover mine.

.

"You have to stay here, on the stone, alright? I'll go get him. Here. Take the screwdriver. I'll tell him you want to give it back to him." He grinned and squeezed my hand. He looked like he wanted to kiss me. I definitely wanted to kiss him so I did. Just a light peck on the lips but it was like heaven after all this time. His eyes sparkled and I knew the next time we met things would be very _interesting_.

.

I strode over towards the TARDIS and knocked on the door. The other Jack opened it and motioned for me to come in. He stood at the threshold a moment and scanned the Plas. He must have sensed someone or something but I was sure he couldn't see future Jack.

.

"Ianto! You saved the day! Now where's my screwdriver? Hmm?"

.

"That's what I wanted to talk to you about…"

.

"YOU DIDN'T!" Jack shouted and looked between me and the Doctor with absolute remorse.

.

I held up my hands to forestall the sputtering panic that was sure to follow. "It's alright. I didn't lose it. It's fine. Don't worry. Just a little snag is all." I turned to the Doctor. "There's someone who needs to talk to you. He has your sonic thingy and I promised that I would ask you … beg you if necessary … to come outside and talk to him."

.

"Ianto … I don't …"

.

"It was the only way to stop him from barging in here. He promised that he would stay on the perception filter if you came out and got your screwdriver yourself. It's a fair trade."

.

"Oh … _alright_. But you're coming with me!" He was pissed. Just like I thought he would be. In fact, he looked like he might take me by the ear and drag me around a bit.

.

"No problem."

.

"You and I … _**serious talk**_ … young man!"

.

"I know … I know, Doctor. Believe me, I know."

.

We stepped out of the TARDIS and the moment the Doctor looked towards the invisible lift his whole body tensed. He closed the TARDIS firmly behind us and ran his hands across her lovely blue door frame.

.

"She's been talking to you. Hmm? She likes you. But _this_ Ianto? Things are complicated enough without adding more _Jacks_ to the current situation don't you think?"

.

"Of course. But the rift? I couldn't think of anything else! And the TARDIS ... well it just kept whispering to me. It – she told me how to use the sonic screwdriver and what to do with the surfboard thing. I just did what came to mind. I did what was familiar. I know Torchwood. I honestly didn't expect Jack to be there. But I should've known. I know that now. I'm sorry I've made things more difficult for you – it wasn't my intention at all, Sir." I was really worried that he'd never forgive me. I felt terrible.

.

"There, there, don't fret. I'm not really angry. I know how the TARDIS likes to meddle sometimes. She's quite stubborn you know. Gives me a run for my money." He wrapped his arm around my shoulder and gave me half a hug. He led us towards the veiled stone where Jack stood waiting for us as promised.

.

We walked towards him arm in arm. I could feel the tension growing in the Doctor's body with each step. As soon as we got close Jack stepped off the lift and came nose to nose with the Doctor. The tension that had been growing in the Doctor seemed ready to erupt. Very subtly I tried to disengage myself from the Doctor's embrace but he just gripped me more tightly. The Doctor looked at Jack curiously but the dark accusing glare that Jack directed at the Doctor made him flinch. I was shocked. I thought this would be a joyful reunion. After all that I'd seen between the Jack in the TARDIS and the Doctor I wouldn't have expected anything else.

.

"What happened Doctor?" His voice was strained and angry and hurt.

.

"I ... I don't know. I'm sorry Jack. What ever happened to you hasn't happened yet … not in my timeline."

.

"But you feel it? You can tell something's not right … that I'm different?"

.

"Yes" he nodded and with a great deal of effort he met Jack's eyes again. "Your timeline is very painful for me."

.

"For you! What about me? You just have to look at me! I have to live with this! I was dead. Then I wasn't. But you left me. You abandoned me. For over a hundred years I've been waiting to ask you – just to talk to you – why did you leave me?" The fuel seemed to have burned out of his anger and all that was left was disappointment and sadness. "Can't you just fix me Doc?" He pleaded; his voice quiet and weak.

.

"Oh Jack. I'm sooo sorry. I don't even know what happened. I have no idea how to fix you."

.

"How can you _**not**_ know? You know everything?"

.

"No. I don't. I really don't." He was trembling now. I think I was the only thing holding him up. I think Jack saw that too. I think he took pity on the Doctor and that's why he stopped yelling. He leaned forwards, tucked his head between us, wrapped his arms around us and pulled us against him desperately.

.

The Doctor returned his embrace and I was trapped in the middle. I felt like an intruder, watching such an intimate moment. I had no idea they were like this. I thought they were lovers but what I felt between them was friendship and compassion _not_ lust and passion. For so many years, I'd envied this man – well not really a _man_ – and then suddenly I didn't.

.

We stood like that for a long while. It was a comfort that was long overdue. Then when the Doctor finally spoke he was sombre. "You know I'd love to invite you along Jack but you're already in there." He grinned at the ridiculousness of the situation – we all did.

.

"That's alright Doc. I've got a good team. They need me. But maybe I'll take a rain-check ya?"

.

"Definitely. The next time I'm in town I'll drop by."

.

He was still holding us in either arm. He titled his head a little nearer to my ear and whispered "I never did catch your name?"

.

"Ianto. Ianto Jones." I whispered back. I decided it was a good time as any to thoroughly screw with the universe so I said "mind if I call you about a job in a few months sir? I've got some good references." My laughter spread to Jack and then to the Doctor. We eased our way out of the group hug and stood there a moment longer.

.

"Soooo. Jack?"

.

"Yes, Doctor?"

.

"About my sonic screwdriver?"

.

.

* * *

><p><strong><em>To be continued … Chapter 5, Part 3: Parting Gifts<em>**

**_A/N: Thank you soooooo much for the awesome reviews! You guys make my frackin day._**


	13. C5,3 Parting Gifts

**_5 -Watching, Waiting and Crying the Blues  
><em>**

**_…..Part 3: Parting Gifts_**

**W/C:** 5573  
><strong>Warningsspoilers/content: **M/M hot-tub slash, sappiness, continued first person POV, 9th Doctor DWXTW crossover, probably swearing, probably sexual innuendo  
><strong>Summary:<strong> Ianto takes a quick trip in the TARDIS and spends some quality time with the Doctor, Rose and mortal-Jack  
><strong>Characters:<strong> Ianto, mortal-Jack, 9th Doctor, Rose, TARDIS, Margaret-egg, Slitheen nursemaid  
><strong>Ianto's New Timeline:<strong> September 9-10, 2005

* * *

><p>.<p>

.

Once back in the TARDIS, the Doctor noticeably relaxed and became outwardly jovial but I could see he was still perplexed about Jack's future condition. With a look and a nod, we'd reached a tacit agreement between us that we wouldn't speak of our conversation in front of the others. I was anxious for a chance to speak with the Doctor in private, though. There were so many things we needed to discuss.

.

"So Ianto, we still need to have _**that**_ chat. How'd you feel about coming along for a little trip? Just a quick trip mind you. Just have to drop Margaret off." He was zipping 'round the console and he had a slightly glossy, wild gleam in his eyes that made me more than a little nervous but I couldn't resist the chance to see another planet.

.

"That sounds interesting. Where is Margaret by the way? I didn't see her …" My eyes panned around the room but the only thing I saw out of place (relatively speaking) was a pile of clothes on the floor and an egg. The pile on the floor turned out to be Margaret's skin suit.

.

Well, it seems while I was down below having a gaggle of guns waved in my face Margaret was up here being transformed into an egg by the TARDIS. According to the Doctor, the ship was a she, sentient and telepathic in addition to being quite headstrong. As far as I could tell, she was also quite actively involved in people's lives – _for a spaceship_.

.

"She's an egg." I was holding Margaret. The murderess. The gigantic alien who used to inhabit the skin suit of one of her murder victims, was now an egg. It took me a few minutes to wrap my head around it.

.

"Ye_**p**_. She is an egg – _again_." The Doctor looked absolutely pleased about this turn of events. I gathered it was because we were now going to hand her over to the _hatchery_ rather than the _hatchet_ - well, acid bath in actual fact.

.

"She's an egg." I shook my head vigorously then apologized abashedly. "Sorry. Just had to say it out loud again."

.

Rose smiled and patted me affectionately on the back. "It's okay you know. We all had a go. I'm sure I said it at least once." I had to admit her smile was quite contagious.

.

"Ya, me too, "admitted Jack.

.

We took Margaret back to her home planet which turned out to be called Raxacoricofallapatorious. It was pretty uneventful, you know, as far as travelling through time and space to another planet in another galaxy goes.

.

It took about five minutes in all for us to move from the broken rubble strewn Welsh Plas to the nondescript hallway just outside the Slitheen Hatchery on the alien planet of Raxacoricofallapatorious.

.

The Doctor assured us that most Slitheen were quite nice and Margaret was not at all the norm. So out we tumbled, the four of us, from the little blue box with the Doctor in the lead. He held Margaret the egg gently in both of his hands. We knocked on the door and waited for someone to answer.

.

Quite frankly, I was looking forward to meeting a nice alien for a change or at the very least, one that didn't want to kill me.

.

The door was answered by a very tall, very large eyed, very long limbed, very sweet tempered slightly green nursemaid. She was overjoyed to receive the orphaned egg and thanked us profusely. We watched as she placed the egg into a heated compartment alongside hundreds of others.

.

Then we went back to the TARDIS. The Doctor probably didn't want to push his luck. Nothing bad had happened yet, best not hang around or something just might.

.

Rose and Jack were whining incessantly about missing their Tea so the Doctor acquiesced and found us a nice safe place to stop.

.

We (Rose and I) watched while the Doctor with Jack's able assistance piloted the TARDIS into the Void.

.

As he led us down a winding corridor which had many rooms running off it the Doctor said, "think about what you fancy for your sup, Ianto." It was a maze and I certainly wouldn't be able to find my way back if I were alone. After a few moments, we came to the kitchen. It was lovely.

.

"Hey," Rose commented, "it's different from yesterday. Why'd she do that I wonder?" She ran her hand over the smooth marble countertop with admiration.

.

"Probably because we have a special guest." The Doctor smiled at me and then eagerly ducked his head into the refrigerator. "She likes Ianto. I think she's done something extra special just for him."

.

"She's probably thankful he got that surfboard away from her" suggested Rose.

.

Jack nodded and added, "Ya, probably. Did I tell you? She was talking to him directly. Doc is that normal? How come she doesn't talk to me?"

.

"She doesn't talk to me either." Rose pouted teasingly.

.

"I told you," said the Doctor "she likes him" then he just smiled and winked at me.

.

"So … Ianto?" inquired the Doctor "What's your favorite food?" He still had his head in the fridge so his voice echoed a bit.

.

I thought about it then said, "today, I'd have to say salmon sushi." I smirked thinking there was no way he'd have that in his fridge.

.

"That's what I thought you'd say!" He turned around and on a lovely blue ceramic-looking tray lay a fresh assortment of sushi – salmon sushi to be exact.

.

"How'd you know that?" I was baffled. I'd only just had a craving for it today. I hadn't wanted sushi in months.

.

"What are the chances of that?" mused Jack. He pulled out a few drawers in search of utensils and returned to the table with four sets of chopsticks in hand. "Here we are," he said.

.

"Wow. Thank you. This is … amazing. Do you think your ship knows I'm thankful?" I was so impressed.

.

"Sure. She's telepathic and obviously paying very close attention to you at the moment, which incidentally makes me quite curious."

.

"Mmmmm" said Rose.

.

"Uuhh mmm" said Jack.

.

Then they both laughed.

.

The food and drink were great and the company even better. It felt like a dream, sitting there having sushi with Jack, the Doctor and Rose about a hundred years before I was even supposed to meet Jack. I was probably breaking at least a few time travelling laws in the process.

.

The quick little trip the Doctor spoke of turned into a rather long feast, accompanied by copious amounts of alcohol and a few killer games of Jenga.

.

By _very, very late o'clock_ an extremely bleary-eyed Doctor started insisting that I stay the night in the TARDIS. Being unprecedentedly bleary-eyed myself, I graciously accepted.

.

Once again, he led us down a winding corridor. We went left, then right then left again … until we arrived at my room. The Doctor showed me how to adjust the lights and temperature and then dragged me out into the hallway again.

.

"Okey dokey … if you want the bathroom you just have to think about it really hard and the TARDIS will manifest a bathroom for you across the way. See?" He opened the door across the hall and low and behold there was a lovely bathroom complete with a bubbling hot tub.

.

"Cool" was all I got out.

.

"Nice bathroom …" leered Jack "Mine doesn't have a hot tub …" he whined. "Can I share yours? He grinned.

.

"By all means Jack" I leered back "you can share my hot tub any time you like…" I was grinning like a maniac or a chocolate addict in front of an all you can eat chocolate buffet.

.

"Enough!" yelped the Doctor. "I do not want to witness your unhygienic primitive mating rituals!" He had his eyes clamped shut and was flailing his hands about his head.

.

But Rose had a _**completely**_ different take on our unhygienic primitive mating rituals "You two are _**so**_ hot" panted Rose as she fanned herself ineffectually with her hand.

.

"That's it!" blurted the Doctor "I'm going to bed…" and with that he stomped down the hallway.

.

"Wait!" called Rose "I'll come with you!" she was leering too as she waved to us over her shoulder.

.

"So how does a nice massage sound?" Jack asked as he raised an eyebrow suggestively. "I'm pretty good – one might say unforgettable even. I could give you a massage _in_ the steamy hot tub if you like?" Jack looked eager and his voice had taken on a needy raspy quality.

.

"Oh ya, that would be awesome."

.

"Great! Come on." He pulled me inside.

.

I leaned over the edge and tested the water. The water was hot and bubbly and inviting. I turned my head around to say something to Jack but the words were gone the second I saw his face. He was leaning up against the wall; his bright blue shirt was already on the floor right next to his discarded shoes and socks.

.

And his eyes were _**burning**_ into me.

.

He'd been staring at my well-toned, delightfully shaped arse currently encased in formfitting jeans which just happened to be pointed in his direction through no fault of my own.

.

I know – I'm a terrible tease – I should be _**punished**_.

.

I'll take that punishment _**in**_ the hot tub - please and thank you.

.

I was going to say something clever or flirty or both but the words caught in my throat and I had a hard time swallowing.

.

_Jack. _

_Jack half-naked. _

_Jack half-naked and tanned all over._

_Jack half-naked and tanned all over and hard._

_Jack half-naked and tanned all over and hard everywhere, with lust burning in his gorgeous blue eyes._

_Looking at me._

.

_Oh, gulp, fuck ya._

.

_Timeline … smimeline …_

.

"It's hot" was all I good get out.

.

"It is" was all he said.

.

_Oh Gods, you are so fucking hot!_ was all I thought.

.

"So about that massage?" I asked. I am not only a tease but I am an evil tease as well.

.

"Coming right up" he said. The words rolled off his tongue like honeyed wine. He glided forward, feet barely touching the floor and took hold of the bottom of my shirt and said suggestively "allow me?"

.

I nodded. "Thank you, you're too kind."

.

He smirked, obviously enjoying my droll humour and pulled my shirt up over my head. He chucked it over his shoulder and it landed conveniently onto his pile.

.

His warm, strong, smooth hands came to rest on my shoulders. He kneaded my tense muscles and seemed to be determining my current state of tension and perhaps my level of need. Need for a massage, of course.

.

"You're tense. I think I'll start here." Then he slid his hands down my arms and explored my muscles there. He liked what he saw and felt and he said "nice arms."

.

"Thank you" I muttered.

.

"But what about here?" he asked as he turned me around so that he could inspect my back more closely. He ran his hands up and down my back and then gripped my waist. Still gripping me, he moved forward so that his chest was flush against my back. "Would you like to get in the hot tub now?" he breathed in my ear.

.

"Absolutely" I answered. I undid my jeans but realized I'd forgotten to take off my shoes. There was a chair placed within easy reach of the hot tub so I slipped out of Jack's grip and moved towards the chair. I think he moaned softly when I broke away but _that was the plan man_.

.

I sat down, my jeans still hanging open like a super-sexy Calvin Klein model, and took off my shoes and socks. Then I stood up and slid my jeans and boxers down my legs. I kept my eyes down mostly because I wanted to keep Jack on his toes and partly because if I looked at him I'd be at his mercy.

.

I threw my jeans over the back of the chair and then I sauntered over to the hot tub. I climbed over the top and slid my body into the bubbling swirling water. It was so hot and soothing I groaned in pleasure. "Ohhh, that's so good."

.

"Hey, I haven't even started yet." He was naked by this time and standing there proudly. He looked a little frustrated by my independent undressing and subsequent immersion but he was obviously gathering his strength for his next attempt.

.

"Well, then you'd better get started." My voice was dreamy, my eyes closed and my head was lolling back over the lip of the pool.

.

I heard a splash and felt Jack move in front of me. His hands returned to his promised starting point. He began kneading my shoulders and arms and worked my upper body into a nice pool of jelly. He ran his fingers through my curly chest hair and grazed my nipples as often as he could.

.

He was standing in front of me and I was perched on the submerged chair when his hands started caressing my face. When I opened my eyes I was looking into his. He had moved between my legs and our skin touched in a few places.

.

I was trying to focus on the massage - I really was - but in my head I was having a battle of wills. The good part of my brain was arguing with the naughty part of my brain over our current predicament. Sex could come so naturally from this little foray into massage heaven. It might also be a huge mistake on my part. I'd decided to play it cool for as long as I could but who was I kidding?

.

You'd have to be a flipping saint to not desire this and you'd have to have preternatural self-control to walk away empty handed…

.

"Why don't you move over there and I'll do your back?" Jack suggested. There was another underwater bench but this one was in the middle of the pool. I'd already been reduced to a nice puddle of relaxed jelly which made sliding over to it a great deal of effort. And to my utter surprise (not) Jack slid in behind me on the bench. He wrapped his legs around my thighs and scooted forward.

.

Once again, his strong smooth hands ran over my skin. For _I-have-no-idea-how-long_, he kneaded, circled and pressed tight bunches of muscle with his powerful thumbs. He slid his hands up my back until his thumbs were pressed along either side of my spine; slowly he slid his thumbs down from the base of my neck to the tip of my tail bone. The sensation was intense; my eyes fluttered shut and my lips parted as pleasure swept through me.

.

My hormones were reacting quite predictably to the potent combination of Jack's 51st Century pheromones and his nimble ministrations and although I've been known to exert superhuman will power and self-restraint my sex drive had finally gone into hyperdrive.

.

My 'cool' exterior was melting. Allow me to clarify; I may have looked relatively unaffected (possibly – but probably not) but on the inside I was rapidly losing this battle of wills.

.

There was absolutely no doubt in my extraordinarily and increasingly befuddled mind that reams of people had succumbed much faster to Jack's skillful seduction.

.

And I was (almost) certain that I'd held out for an impressively long time.

.

And I was proud.

.

But the time was quickly approaching when I wouldn't be able to think – never mind resist.

.

I know from personal experience that Jack's boasts were no exaggeration.

.

He _**had**_ seduced his way through several galaxies.

.

The fact that I'd been able to maintain some semblance of self-control gave me a great deal of satisfaction.

.

I'd wanted to make him work. I'd wanted to make him lust after me; _**want me**_.

.

I hadn't wanted to throw myself at him (like I once had). More than anything, I wanted to prove to myself (and him) that I _**could**_ resist him.

.

I had.

.

Now the naughty voice in my head was whining and panting.

.

_You've resisted already! Get on with it!_

.

Even the good voice was agreeing by this point.

"This is much better" he whispered.

.

"I think you like being behind me so you can whisper in my ear" I teased.

.

"You bet I do" he confirmed.

.

"I also like having you between my legs.

.

"You are so naughty" I accused.

.

"Me? Naughty? I've been so good" he whined.

.

"Actually, you have … you've been nearly a saint" I joked. "Thank you" I said quietly.

.

"Thank you for what?" he asked.

.

"For the massage. For being awesome. For being a gentleman."

.

"A gentleman?" He sounded quite surprised that I would call him that.

.

"Yes. You've been patient, you haven't been pushy, you've been extremely considerate and you haven't tried to seduce me."

.

"I was getting to that…" he smirked.

.

I sighed. "I know." I grinned too.

.

"So does that mean you don't want me to seduce you?"

.

"Well…" My voice went up at the end of the word. A school of fish would have understood my meaning.

.

He chuckled and resumed his massage but he also started planting kisses down the side of my neck.

.

I could smell him; his special scent. It was thick. I could taste it in the steamy air.

.

I wondered if his own sex pheromones had any effect on him if the air was saturated. We were both breathing his heady mix of spicy – sweet – lusty – need.

.

"Do your pheromones have any effect on you?" I asked.

.

He went quiet and his hands stopped travelling over my skin.

.

"How do ya know about my pheromones? You're from the 21st Century aren't you?" He was confused and perhaps a little suspicious.

.

"Of course I am. But I know all about your evolved sex hormones Jack" I said lightly.

.

"Oh. I see."

.

"What? Did you think you had a secret weapon?" I joked.

.

"No!" he chuckled "of course not."

.

I raised my eyebrows in a way that clearly shouted _**liar!**_

_**.**_

"We've both been breathing them for over half an hour … so do they have any effect on you once they've been released?" I insisted.

.

"Interesting question. You think too much."

.

"Perhaps. But I think you're avoiding the question."

.

"Well … I suppose if I re-breath in a closed environment for an extended period of time … I suppose it might … exacerbate things …" he admitted sheepishly.

.

This time when he resumed his massage he'd moved to my legs. "Are you relaxed enough yet?"

.

"Yes, quite. Thanks."

.

"You're very welcome." He paused and then asked, "so are _**you**_ affected by my pheromones?"

.

"'Course I am! I'm only human" I mused.

.

"Are you sure? You sure seem like you have superhuman control … either that or you aren't attracted to me…"

.

"HA! Have you ever actually met anyone who wasn't attracted to you?"

.

"Yes, more than I'd like to admit."

.

"Well, _**that's**_ not an issue for _**me**_."

.

He went from kissing my neck to sucking the skin at my pulse point and nibbling my ears. He made me whine. It was high pitched and embarrassing. He made me want to beg. His hands trailed down my flanks and traced distracting patterns on my thighs before he grasped and stroked the aching flesh bobbing at attention between my legs. "Oh Jack … oh _yes_ …" I moaned. He was pressed up against me hard. Our bodies slid easily in the steamy water.

.

It got a little too steamy though and after a _totally-irrelevant-amount-of-time_ we ended up in a shower stall that wouldn't have been out of place in an ancient Roman spa. There were marble seats all around the outside of the stall and a selection of nozzles sprayed everything from jets to heavy raindrops overhead. These seats were so wide … well they were wide enough for two … and allowed for a good deal of moving around.

.

Things didn't progress much past mutual groping in the hot tub. Our activities in the ancient Roman shower room however were a bit more _**vigorous**_ but then somehow I ended up in his room. It was like I got trapped in a time warp. One minute time was moving slowly - I was pleading, he was groaning - and then it was zipping past me and I had no idea how I got from one place to another so quickly.

.

It was in the middle of the night/day/void/? that I went back to my room and wrote a few lines in my journal. Jack had laid wrapped _around-between-under-over_ me for hours. We'd thoroughly enjoyed each other's company, several times over. In the back of my _ever-thinking-too-much-at-the-worst-possible-time_ mind, I worried about the consequences of our lusty hot tub adventures.

.

.

* * *

><p><em>TW Ianto's Journal TW Ianto's Journal TW<em>

* * *

><p><em>.<em>

_September 10, 2005_

_._

_Let's see, how to sum up my day ..._

_It was educational. I learned a few things: Jack was a time agent, spaceships talk – __**to me**__ and it's possible to meet two different versions of a person in one day. _

_._

_Oh, and I shagged the past version of my alternative timeline lover who I will one day work for and hopefully fall in love with._

_._

_All in all, a very interesting day. My mind is frazzled. I'm going fucking crazy. _

_It doesn't get any better than this!_

_._

* * *

><p><em>TW Ianto's Journal TW Ianto's Journal TW<em>

* * *

><p>.<p>

.

TW**X**DW

.

.

When I woke, I went in search of some clean clothes. I opened the wardrobe and found a lovely gift. The TARDIS had materialized the perfect outfit. It was exactly what I would've bought for myself if money were no object.

.

First of all, the fabric was _out of this world_, come to think of it, it probably was. It was a dark, almost smoky blue; it was lightweight, felt soft to the touch and was obviously durable. Not only that but it didn't even wrinkle! Like I said: out of this world!

.

It was a stylish two piece suit but the jacket had no lapels. It was cut perfectly for my body. The shirt was made of a similar fabric only thinner. It was a slightly lighter shade of blue. She'd even provided a matching belt and a necklace.

.

I went in search of breakfast and found the Doctor and Rose sipping tea and enjoying a rather large English breakfast. It was just what I needed.

.

After Rose finished her breakfast she excused herself and went off to have a shower leaving the Doctor and me to chat.

.

I thanked him profusely for the gorgeous suit and the lovely necklace. He told me it was the TARDIS's idea.

.

"You see …" he began "she wants to give you a parting gift … you know … something to remember us by?" He was grinning that crazy grin again, the one that makes most people nervous.

.

"Are you saying the ship gave me a gift?"

.

"_Weeee__**ll**_. It's from both of us." He took a quick sip of his tea and avoided my eyes for a good long while.

.

"Thank you, Doctor" I touched his hand and said "and … TARDIS? Ah … thank you … you're an awesome ship. I especially loved the bathroom." I was muttering a bit. I had no idea how to talk to a flipping ship. Also, I had to stop talking just then because the bathroom memories were turning my skin a lovely shade of pink.

.

I cleared my throat and promptly changed the subject. I asked him about the necklace. It was a gold cylindrical pendant on a long gold chain. It was shinier than most gold chains and the pendant was strangely smooth.

.

"What is it? Does it have a special meaning?" asked Ianto.

.

"Actually, yesss. Just tap the end … there."

.

I tapped the end like I was shown and suddenly a glyph appeared on the side of the pendant. It was beautiful, so intricate and delicate.

.

"It's gorgeous!"

.

"I'm glad you like it. It's old, from Earth if I'm not mistaken. I believe that represents the Aztec Goddess Ixcel.

.

"I'm not familiar with Aztec Goddesses. What does it mean?"

.

"_Weeee__**ll**_. It varies really. She had many faces. She could be the Goddess of Earth and War or a Rain Goddess. She was also known as the Jaguar Goddess of Fertility and Midwifery.

.

"Wow. She was busy."

.

"Yes, she was. This symbol originated on Earth and it was thought to be so beautiful that it spread throughout the galaxy. I've seen this on several different worlds. It's supposed to bring you good luck while you're wearing it."

.

"Well. Thank you. This is just … so amazing. It's too much really. I don't know how to thank you. I do have some questions though about that other thing if you don't mind.

.

"Of course, let's talk about your timeline problems. Come with me. We won't be disturbed here." He led me into a library type room that was full of books and comfy sofa chairs.

.

"Okay," I began, "so question number one is pretty huge. How did this happen to me? How is it possible that I've been reinserted into my own timeline. This didn't happen the last time. This is new. That's weird right?"

.

"Yes, definitely weird. As for why … I have no idea. And as for how it's possible? Well, there are several possible albeit improbable culprits that have been known to tamper with … things on Earth."

.

"Please. I need to know. Anything you can tell me."

.

"Well, I've run across a few beings that generally live on Earth who've played with certain important events in the past. Not exactly like this but they've performed some pretty impressive feats. Most are seemingly unexplainable. They call themselves 'The Powers' or some such thing. Pretentious if you ask me. _Any-hu_, they play favorites. And they really like the Earth, kind of consider themselves long-term caretakers if you will."

.

"The Powers? Really?"

.

"Yep. _The Powers That Be_ actually but if you ask me that's an even worse name."

.

_That can't be!_ I thought. _I always say that. It's a bleeding joke! _

_._

But now was not the time to get distracted with those thoughts. I needed to press on.

.

"What do you mean they play favorites?"

.

He made a few uncertain gestures and wrinkled up his cheeks a few times before answering. "They're interdimensional hypertime beings who exist above and beyond your reality. They see far and they see the possible. A little like Time Lords actually but much less impressive. They just do one planet at a time."

.

"mhhmmmm" was all I could come up with.

.

"Where was I? Oh ... yeeess ... righ_**t**_!" He snapped the last letter T between his lips and then carried on with his explanation. "Favorites. Yes, they select a chosen few as it were, and they help them, guide them, sometimes punish but most of the time they just watch. Which is why we – they and I – haven't had a lengthy discussion – _**yet**_." That T was popped more dramatically than the others.

.

"Do you really think it's them who did this to me?"

.

"Naaaaaaaa. Probably not."

.

"What? What do you mean?" I was trying desperately to follow his train of thought but he'd completely lost me.

.

"It could be anyone – any of _them_ – just impossible to know for certain. Sorry."

.

I'd hung my head in dismay at the utter futility of it all. No way to tell? _Really?_

.

"The thing is, Ianto, it's done; can't undo it now. Just have to … live with it. Learn to love it even?" He looked hopefully at me.

.

"That'll take some effort I think." I nodded in acceptance. "Question number two is related to timeline changes."

.

"Okay. Shoot!"

.

"I met Jack down in the hub. I've also met him here on the TARDIS. So how come he told me on the lift that he didn't remember me? How is that possible?"

.

"_Weee__**lll**__._ That's the thing with timeloops – they're unpredictable. There are so many variables. First, you have to think of it in terms of what kind of event it was. Some things can change but others just can't. Meeting Jack early was one of those _flexible_ events."

.

"I can understand that but why can't he remember me?"

.

"Oh … he will I imagine."

.

The confused and distinctly unsatisfied look on my face spoke volumes so he continued.

.

"He will remember you. It takes a bit of time for things to kick in sometimes. Like meeting you on the TARDIS for example… he won't remember your time on the TARDIS until you and he are no longer on the TARDIS and/or under her sphere of influence. We are somewhat removed from … _things_."

.

"So are you saying that the next time we meet he'll remember meeting me in the hub and everything that happened on the TARDIS?"

.

He nodded then pursed his lips. "I hate to even ask. Believe me. I really, really do. But. Please tell me exactly what you mean by _what happened on the TARDIS_?"

.

I hesitated and bit my lip.

.

He blanched.

.

I gave in. "You know … Margaret … the egg … the hatchery … dinner … drinks … Jenga …" I flinched. " … the hot tub …" I mumbled under my breath.

.

"Oh! You DIDN'T!" He grabbed his head and by the looks of it tried to pull his scalp off.

.

_Here is comes, _I thought. _My ears are doomed._

.

"In my defense, the TARDIS _**did**_ make us a really nice hot tub and you _**were**_ there for the initial primal mating rituals." But his head snapped up and the look of accusation burned like a flame thrower. It had me shutting the hell up and in a fraction of a second had completely transformed me into a more suitably contrite demeanor.

.

"He will remember. He will definitely remember everything. Is that going to be a problem for your projected timeline?"

.

"No," I answered quickly, "not at all."

.

I sat on my hands as I was instructed to do when I was a thoroughly naughty child. It seemed appropriate.

.

He relaxed a little or perhaps he decided it wasn't going to be a big deal after all.

.

"What was your last memory before you experienced the timeloop?"

.

I pursed my lips. I hadn't thought about that memory for years, on purpose. "I died. In his arms. That's my last memory."

.

"I was afraid of that."

.

"Do you want me to tell you where?"

.

"No. Please. You mustn't. It's tempting I know. You're alone, lonely, scared, confused, I know. But it is so important that you don't disclose your knowledge of the future."

.

"Spoilers."

.

"Yes. That."

.

"I've kept a record. My journal. I still remember most things. I have to … change some things. I can't just sit there and do nothing."

.

"But sometimes, my dear poor boy, that's just exactly what we must do. Believe me, I know."

.

"But not always! Right? Isn't that what you said? Some things aren't written in stone, they can be changed?"

.

"Yes, I did say that. But how are you to know? You can't see the difference. You're human not a Time Lord."

.

"So, if something is fixed then no matter what I do, it won't make a difference right?"

.

"Yes. That's right. It won't change."

.

"Alright. I can accept that."

.

"Really?"

.

"Really. I've had a few years to get used to this. There are certain realities that I've come to accept. I can think of a few examples like when my dad died. I couldn't change that. I know that. But I did make sure my sister didn't hold a grudge the last time they had a fight. I made sure of that."

.

He smiled at me. His eyes sparkled brightly. In them I saw and felt such emotion that I was overcome. He reached out for my hand and took it between his. He didn't say a word. He sat there holding my hand and he just smiled with such … benevolence. It was a purity of spirit I had never before witnessed. He was never the same in my eyes after that. In that moment, I knew exactly why so many loved him.

_._

_._

* * *

><p><strong><em>Continued in … Chapter 6: Moving On<em>**

.

**IANTO'S NEW TIMELINE**

C1 [08/20/01]-Restart  
>C1 [09xx/01]-Uni yr 1 of 4, chg courses, weapons training, meets: Inspector Donaldson (I.D.)  
>C1 [09xx/01]-Self-defense course (1st time), adjusts lifestyle  
>C2 [10xx/01]-Roastery job, starts meeting foxy boys and girls  
>C2 [11xx/01]-Hangs with I.D. at the 'club', gains +role models, I.D. becomes mentor, goes on 'ride-alongs'  
>C2 [12xx/01]-Connects with sis and dad, struggles with reruns

C3.1 [01/02/02]-Quits Roastery job, starts library job, gets research access  
>C3.1 [0201/02]-Starts Criminology Internship, self-defense course (2nd time), meets Colin  
>C3.1. [xxxx/02]-Meets threshold guardian, defended by friends  
>C3.2 [05xx/02]-'Ship with Colin begins, poker night; becomes the teacher

C3.3 [xx/xx/02]-Witnesses big fight btn Rhi & Dad  
>C3.3 [12xx/02]-Dad dies  
>C3.3 [01xx/03]-Part time job at Police department

C4.1 [03/03]- Goes weevil hunting  
>C4.2 [0803]- Observes Torchwood team take down a blowfish  
>C4.3 [0404]- Gets probed by telepathic alien

C5.X [05/xx/05]-Completes requirements for Uni degree  
>C5.1 [0904/05]-Ianto camps out on Roald Dahl Plas  
>C5.1 [0908/05]-Ianto meets the Doctor, Rose, Micky & mortal-Jack  
>C5.2 [0908/05]-Saves the TARDIS & meets Immortal-Jack for 1st time  
>C5.3 [0909/05]-Travels with 9th Doctor to Raxacoricofallapatorious  
>C5.3 [0910/05]-Parties on the TARDIS & talks with Doctor  
>C5.3 [0910/05]-TARDIS bestows a parting gift


	14. C6 Moving On

_**6 – Moving On**_

**W/C:** 4510  
><strong>Warningsspoilers/content:** swearing, sexual references, M/M kissing  
><strong>Summary:<strong> Ianto says goodbye to friends new and old and says hello to a new life.  
><strong>Ianto's New Timeline<strong>: September 18-25, 2005  
><strong>Characters:<strong> Ianto, 9th Doctor, mortal-Jack, Rose, immortal-Jack, Inspector Donaldson  
><strong>AN:** a special nod to the mighty Douglas Adams and the number 42 **(****the ****Ultimate Answer to the Ultimate Question of Life, The Universe, and Everything)**

* * *

><p>.<p>

.

After my chat with the Doctor I went back to my room to collect my things and as I neared the sound of Rose's bubbly laughter grew louder. I could hear them talking. They were in my room waiting for me.

.

As I rounded the corner Jack let out a "there he is!" and I smiled. I was so glad they were there.

.

"Hi there – you two having fun – in my room?" I made a mock frown and plopped down on the bed next to Jack. "I'm glad you're here." I sighed and leaned into his arm.

.

"Well … we figured you two needed some privacy for your talk. We didn't want to miss you … _soooo_ … we decided to wait for you here."

.

"It was Jack's idea really! He dragged me in here!" She grinned and scooted out of range of Jack's swatting hand. "I think he's smitten!" she teased.

.

"Of course I am! He's a hunk." With that he pulled me towards him and kissed me playfully on the lips. "You're just jealous!"

.

"Ya, I am!" she agreed wholeheartedly which I must confess did wonders for my ego. "You two are so … _ahem_ … cute together." She was choosing her words carefully.

.

Jack leered and retorted, "that's _not_ what you said _last_ night blondie."

.

She blushed a lovely shade of crimson. I was so glad I wasn't the only one around here who did that. "Wh…what did I say last night?" she asked nervously.

.

"You said we were _**hot**_." He leaned forward and fanned himself like she had last night. "Then you ran down the hall after the Doctor. You two get it on last night? Hmmm?" He was really enjoying himself.

.

She made a face; not a happy face; _**not**_ the face of a woman who got it on with the Doctor. "Not even close." She flopped back on the bed with a groan. "He's oblivious. Brilliant and completely stupid at the same time."

.

"Yep," Jack agreed, "totally blind." He turned to me and asked, "so … Ianto what's the plan? Are you going to come with us?" He looked so hopeful; sitting there with his heart on his sleeve. I'd never seen this side of Jack and this playful, young, carefree Jack was something I'd never see again.

.

It was a gift but it couldn't last.

.

"I can't …" I began, "I have things I _have_ to do."

.

"Ohhhh! Can't you do them _later_?" he whined.

.

"No," I shook my head and took his hand, "I really can't. I wish I could … stay with you … but I can't." It hurt; saying this, watching his hopes being dashed and knowing I'd never see this Jack again.

.

"That sucks," added Rose. "Well, let us walk you out …" she began but she took one look at our body language and changed her mind. "A_hhhh_ … maybe I'll just meet you in the control room …" she added quickly and ran from the room giggling.

.

We moved towards each other and melded together. Our lips connected and our bodies wrapped around each other. This was a goodbye kiss; the kind you make movies about and the kind you remember for the rest of your life.

.

We walked slowly down the winding corridor; it felt like a really long walk, much longer than yesterday. The Doctor was fiddling with a thingy on his _what-chu-ma-call-it_ and Rose was slumped on the console room's pathetic excuse for a sofa when we finally found our way there.

.

"All set then?" asked the Doctor. His voice sounded chipper but his eyes were dull and sad. I'd be sorry to see him go too.

.

"Yep. Got everything in here," I said and held up my backpack. I dropped it on the floor and went over to him. I could see him getting jumpy as I started walking towards him; he definitely didn't like goodbyes. "Doctor … I want to thank you … for talking to me … for taking me to Raxa … Margaret's planet." I grinned and so did he, which was my plan of course.

.

"Oh," he sighed, "Ianto. Ianto you are so very welcome. It was my pleasure meeting you."

.

"The pleasure was mine, sir." I gave him a hug because I needed one and also because I sensed that more than anything he did too.

.

He didn't say anything but he hugged me fiercely.

.

"I was wondering … if there's any way to get a hold of you if I find myself in one of those important time-liney situations we talked about?" I pulled back from our hug and looked at him hopefully.

.

He nodded and squished his lips together. "I think so." He pulled the sonic screwdriver out of his pocket and wiggled it between his fingers. He held out his hand and said, "your phone?"

.

I pulled my phone out of my pocket and handed it to him.

.

He pointed his sonic at it and I heard that soothing sound once again.

.

He grinned, obviously satisfied and then handed it back to me. "That's my direct line. Here. " He pointed to the old fashioned red phone attached to the console. "Just press speed-dial #42 and it'll dial me directly from anywhere."

.

"Thank you, I'll only use it in case of emergencies."

.

"You can call me anytime. I'd love to hear from you from time to time." He wrapped an arm around me and led me towards the center of the room where Jack and Rose were leaning up against each other.

.

Jack passed me my backpack and then he hugged me again. He kissed me one last time and he didn't even stop when the Doctor began _tisking_ at us. Rose grabbed the Doctor's hand and just giggled.

.

I stepped out of the TARDIS and shut the doors behind me but before I walked away I ran my hand across her doorframe and I whispered my heartfelt thanks. "Thank you TARDIS. You are a beautiful blue … ship. Oh, and thanks for giving me this lovely necklace. I promise I'll wear it."

.

In reply, I felt her hum in my mind; she didn't send me words per se rather what I felt was a happy warmth followed by a wave of mischievous glee.

.

I was back on the Plas; right where I'd started. I stood back and waited for the chilling noise of dematerialization.

.

Once they were gone I turned around and looked up in search of the spot that hid a CCTV camera and I waved. I said, "I'll see you soon Jack!" and then I went home.

.

.

TW**X**DW

.

.

Later that day, while Tosh was reviewing the surveillance footage of the Plas she noticed a blue phone box appear out of thin air and then she saw a familiar looking young man step out. Then she saw something that really shocked her. He looked right at the camera and then waved. She saw his mouth moving and realized he was talking to the camera!

.

She paused the footage and called for Jack with some urgency in her voice. "_Jack_ … you should take a look at this …"

.

"It's the same guy … I think," she said as she rewound the feed. She hit play and then stood back and watched as Jack experienced a rollercoaster of emotions; _surprise-excitement-disappointment-disbelief-excitement-joy-lust_. He patted her on the back exuberantly and sauntered off to his office whistling a happy tune.

.

She had no idea what had just happened but apparently it was a good thing.

.

.

TW**X**DW

.

.

While I was walking home, I realized a couple of things.

.

Things had changed.

.

No more would I merely wait around for something to happen, or watch invisibly from the sidelines and I certainly wouldn't be sitting at home crying the blues.

.

Those days were over.

.

It was time to go back to work.

.

I'd decided to check my messages while walking home. And to my utter surprise (_not_) the Doctor was a bit off with his timing. He'd returned me a week and a half late.

.

People had started to worry; namely Colin, the Inspector and my sister.

.

My brain lurched, my guilt meter tilted.

.

Oh, fuck. _Colin_.

.

I had no idea how I was going to deal with this.

.

I had taken a few days off so no one noticed at first but when I didn't show up to work, I didn't call and even Colin didn't know where I was Inspector Donaldson had done a search; had come up with nothing and was seriously concerned. I'd never missed work and I certainly didn't _**not**_ call.

.

They were worried and I had no idea what to say, how to explain where I'd been. Now, I had a very good idea how Jack felt; _interesting turn around_ I thought.

.

So I lied.

.

I said, "I took some time by myself to think about my future." It was mostly true. Just not the part about the remote cottage and the solitary week of deep thought.

.

The Inspector asked if I'd had any miraculous insights or made any decisions during my _deep thought_ retreat.

.

I smiled and I nodded. I started summing up my present situation. "I've completed my degree, I've got some good work experience and I've made some amazing friends. But it's time I move on" I said quietly.

.

"I agree. You need to follow your dreams son. You've been holding back. So what's it to be?"

.

"Torchwood" I said. I told him about my interest in Torchwood and he groaned. He wasn't surprised – _not in the least_ – he said – not after that gleam he saw in my eyes the last time Torchwood swooped into our lives and made a mess.

.

So he wrote me a letter of recommendation and through 'the channels that be' he contacted Torchwood on my behalf. He harangued and he badgered and he insisted until they put him through to one Captain Jack Harkness.

.

All the while, I sat and I listened, for over an hour and half he'd argued his way through level after level of bureaucracy. Then when he finally got through to Torchwood he started to lose his patience and then he started to raise his voice. It became quite obvious that Jack wasn't listening and he certainly wasn't interested in hiring some _copper_.

.

"Tell him my name," I whispered.

.

So he did. Then his eyes narrowed and he sat back down. Now he was the one listening and Jack was the one doing the talking. Only it didn't sound like arguing anymore. It sounded like wheedling and backpedaling and apologizing.

.

"Sure," said the Inspector quietly, "I'll fax his CV and references over a.s.a.p." He hung up the phone, crossed his arms and sat back in his chair.

.

"Anything you want to tell me?" He raised an eyebrow quite impressively high.

.

I thought about it, tossed it around and came up with nothing; believable at any rate. So I just shrugged and said, "I ran into him." Only my voice squeaked at the end so he knew I was bullshitting. I just smiled though and kept my trap shut.

.

"Right." He sighed, gave me a slightly disgusted look and tossed the paper work at me. "Fax this a.s.a.p. Numbers up there." He just shook his head.

.

"Inspector … I …"

.

"Save it. You owe me a beer. And a story. Better be one hellova story mate."

.

So as it turned out he wasn't actually disgusted with me for wanting to join Torchwood he was just pissed that I wasn't telling him the whole story.

.

.

TW**X**DW

.

.

Two days after I faxed my resume, references, transcripts and letter of interest I got a fax back. It was hand written in Jack's distinctive scrawl; brief and to the point.

.

_**To: Ianto Jones**_

_**Torchwood job interview**_

_**Monday – 1pm**_

_**:) JH**_

.

.

* * *

><p><em>TW Ianto's Journal TW Ianto's Journal TW<em>

* * *

><p><em>.<em>

_September 25, 2005_

_._

_Had drinks with the Inspector this afternoon. He is one determined son of a bitch. He badgered me for hours over my deep thought retreat as he calls it. After nearly pouring half the contents of the bar down my throat he finally confessed that he thought I'd had some kind of crazy adventure or just gone off to sow some seeds. Who the hell says that anymore? Sow some seeds. _

_._

_He's one perceptive bastard. Damn him! And damn me! I didn't say anything. He took one look at me and started hooting "ah ha" over and over again. I'm so glad no one knew what he was ah ha-ing about. Thank the gods that he loves me. He swore he wouldn't ever tell another soul. _

_._

_I need to not drink. Especially, if I want to lie convincingly. I suck._

_._

_Tomorrow is the big day. I need to chill out. I need to sleep. _

_I can't wait to find out how Jack Harkness gives a job interview. _

_I definitely won't be getting any sleep tonight._

_**.**_

_**To do:**__ repent you miserable cheating prick – repent!_

_**.**_

_**Not to do:**__ get some sleep you look like shit, don't be a wanker tomorrow_

_._

* * *

><p><em>TW Ianto's Journal TW Ianto's Journal TW<em>

* * *

><p>.<p>

.

I was totally calm, cool and collected until Monday morning. Then I started freaking out. I certainly didn't get any sleep so I looked like hell. Then I couldn't decide what to wear so it took me forever to get ready. I was nauseous so it took me ages to get anything down. I was so jumpy I nearly got in a car accident on the way to the precinct. I was a disaster waiting to happen.

.

Once I got there though, my two lifeboats talked me down off my proverbial cliff and I got it together. I just needed to hear _**you-are-awesome**_ and _**you-were-born-for-this**_ a few times from someone who really meant it. Once I'd convinced myself of my awesomeness I had a coffee and a muffin and I was good to go. I was ready to take on Jack Harkness.

.

I arrived fifteen minutes early as usual so I took a leisurely stroll around the Plas. I knew he would be watching so I looked up at the camera and smiled. I had on my _I'm-a-cheeky-bastard_ face and my favorite _I-am-sexy-as-hell_ suit and I felt right as rain. I was riding the crest of the _I-am-so-awesome _high induced wave and I wasn't coming down.

.

I saw him step off the lift platform. I'd been expecting a grand entrance especially after I'd smiled at the camera. He was decked out in his RAF greatcoat of course and he looked smoking hot. He smiled broadly as he strode over to me.

.

"Jones, Ianto Jones … so nice to see you" he said as he extended his hand.

.

I shook his hand firmly and replied "Captain Harkness, it's a pleasure to see you again and thank you for granting me an interview."

.

"You could've just called. You didn't need to go through regular channels. You already come highly recommended."

.

"Thank you Sir but my Inspector insisted on … helping. He's a bit protective – paternally protective" I clarified.

.

He nodded and smiled. "It's always nice having someone on your side. You two sound close."

.

"Yes, Sir. He's been very supportive. I'm very lucky to have met him" I said comfortably. Jack was leading me towards the tourist office entrance. The Plas was full of people coming and going from their lunch break.

.

"We'll just take the back door since it's so busy out here."

.

I nodded. I'd been thinking about how to handle situations like this. I was well aware of this entrance but he'd be expecting a reaction from me. This kind of thing would start happening more and more so I needed to decide whether I was going to act surprised all of the damn time or be a _nothing ever surprises me_ kind of guy. It was time to remake myself again.

.

I decided to go with the _take-it-in-stride_ approach. Jack led me into the dark, dusty little office and reached behind the counter for the _not so subtle_ red button. He was watching me closely out of the corner of his eye for any reaction at all. I was standing with my hands behind my back; relaxed but attentive. When he hit the button and the door slid open I just smiled at him.

.

"You knew that would happen."

.

Sometimes he was surprisingly perceptive. I nodded and reminded him "you said this was the back door."

.

"Yes, I did. Come on, just follow me unless you'd like to lead the way?" He was fishing or maybe just joking, I wasn't sure.

.

I just chuckled and followed behind him.

.

He led me through the cog doors, quickly introduced me to Tosh, Owen and Susie and then led me up to his office. He closed the door, told me to sit and he sat down at his desk. He had my resume and other documents haphazardly strewn across his desk.

.

"So, Jones, Ianto Jones what's your specialty?"

.

"How much time do we have?"

.

"Oh? That many?" He leaned forward and grinned eagerly.

.

"Too many to count, Sir." I deadpanned.

.

He smirked, stuck out the tip of his tongue and then sighed. "Let's start with your resume shall we?"

.

"At your pleasure, Sir."

.

"That sounds promising."

.

I raised both of my eyebrows in question and allowed a slight smile to curl my lips.

.

He smiled and scoured the paper in his hands for something to talk about. He stopped reading, grabbed a pen and made a little star in the margin. "It says here you've had weapons training?"

.

"Yes, Sir."

.

"Jack, please."

.

"Yes, Sir."

.

He frowned but continued "what kind?"

.

"Mostly small arms, some crossbow and semiautomatics."

.

"You any good?"

.

"I'll let you be the judge."

.

"Oh, really?" He sounded intrigued.

.

"Sure. Just make an appointment for next week and I'll come in for a demonstration if you like."

.

"I can't wait."

.

Neither could I. I knew _exactly_ what he had in mind.

.

"What else would you like to know?"

.

"Hmm?" He was obviously lost in thought. I could only hope he'd been daydreaming about all the salacious things he wanted to do to me down in the shooting range.

.

"From my resume?"

.

"Oh, yes" he laughed. "Ah … field training. How much experience do you have?

.

"I've been working with the Inspector for several years. He's taken me under his wing. I've learned a lot from him.

.

He nodded.

.

"My strongest areas are resourcefulness, logical reasoning …"

.

He held up a hand. "I'm gonna stop you right there. I don't want the psych test version. Tell me about your adventure with the Doctor. That'll tell me everything I need to know."

.

"Okay. Fair enough…" I told him, in detail, what happened; everything from my meeting him on the Plas, going to lunch, catching Margaret, the TARDIS talking to me, needing a containment unit and then I skipped over to dropping Margaret the egg off at the hatchery. I had been talking a mile a minute and I confess I hadn't been watching him very carefully. I'd been lost in memory.

.

Somewhere along the telling his face had gone white, deathly white, bordering on sickly, vomitously green. His knuckles looked ready to split as he gripped the arms of his chair with sheer desperation.

.

I looked from his claw like hands to his ghostly face and then back at his hands.

.

"You," _gulp_, "remember now, don't you?" I said in my tiniest most tentative voice.

.

He nodded his head ever so slightly.

.

He unwrapped his right hand, reached down and pulled open the bottom drawer. He pulled out a bottle of scotch, pulled the cork off and took a long deep swig from the bottle. He set it on the desk and then set two glasses next to it. He poured a finger or two into each and then passed me one.

.

"I …" he shook his head "don't understand why I didn't remember before now." He tipped the contents of his glass into his mouth, set the glass back down onto the desk and then buried his face in his hands.

.

"The Doctor told me you wouldn't remember our time in the TARDIS until we were both out of her sphere of influence, whatever that means…"

.

"But the first time I met you was in the hub after you broke in. I remember it clearly. The rift had opened, you dropped in, we went up, talked to the Doctor, you two went away and I went back down here."

.

"Do you remember going to Raxacoricofallapatorious with me?"

.

"I do but I also remember it slightly different. How can I remember both? This is nuts."

.

"It's a paradox. My fault actually."

.

"How so?"

.

I blew out a breath and wiggled my lips around. "Well, I wasn't really supposed to meet the doctor or you yet – either _of you_ for that matter – and I certainly wasn't supposed to take a trip in the TARDIS." I tipped my head back and closed my eyes. I was getting a timey-wimey headache again and they were never fun.

.

"I'm getting a timey-wimey headache. Time travel sucks." I sighed.

.

"I know, it …" then he turned a new color and he looked even more shocked than he had before. "Holy shit!" his mouth worked open and closed but no sound actually came out. "I … just remembered the _ah_ … hot tub." He looked at me as if for the first time.

.

"How could I forget?" I joked.

.

"I can't believe I almost did. That was _memorable_ and I'm betting it happened longer ago for me than for you."

.

"What? A few hundred?"

.

His eyes flashed dark and he swallowed reflexively. "How could ya know that?" His voice had shifted towards the suspicious end of the spectrum.

.

This was one of those times when I had to lie and _lie well_ or all hell was going to break loose. "The Doctor … time travel … you know?"

.

"Did he tell you what happened to me?"

.

"_Uhm_. No. He didn't have to. I found out a different way."

.

"Enlighten me?"

.

"Jack, you of all people know we're not supposed to talk about certain things." I bluffed. I bluffed my brains out.

.

He nodded, waved both hands and looked entirely penitent. "Yes, yes ... of course you're right. I'm sorry, I forgot about your timeline problems. That was the reason you sought him out in the first place wasn't it?"

.

"Yes," I nodded "it was."

.

"Okay. I'll stop asking about that."

.

"No, it's okay. We can talk about it. We were both there." I snorted and shook my head. "It's crazy, I know." I looked at him more seriously and asked, "are you alright with this? Do you think you'll be able to work with me considering our … history?" I was suddenly very nervous.

.

"Ya." He swallowed again and smiled more easily. "I think you and I could work together quite well _**and did**_ in more ways than one, if I remember correctly."

.

I just grinned. You know, that foolish _oh-my-giddy-aunt-I-am-so-ridiculously-happy_ grin.

.

"So back to my other skills …" I began.

.

"Yes, back to your other skills. Please go on?"

.

"I'm also an exceptional archivist. And I'm betting you have a serious archive problem that needs my attention. Am I right?"

.

"You bet I do." He smiled eagerly and continued, "so let me get this straight … you can shoot, you have crime scene experience and you can fix our archives?"

.

"Absolutely. And that's not all. I also happen to make the world's best coffee - _for the right people_."

.

"Really?" His eyes glittered with excitement.

.

I nodded and raised my eyebrows playfully.

.

"When can you start?"

.

"In a few weeks? I have some things to wrap up."

.

"Personal or professional?"

.

"A bit of both actually."

.

"I see. Are you seeing anyone right now?"

.

"Yes, I am actually."

.

"Oh," he sighed emphatically. "That's too bad."

.

I smiled and left it at that.

.

He came around the desk and I stood up. He stepped close and took my hand. "Congratulations. You're hired."

.

"That's quick. Are you sure? I have a few demands of my own."

.

"Oh, and what would they be?"

.

"I have a list."

.

"Give me your list. I'm sure we can work something out."

.

"I will."

.

"You're a hard nut to crack Ianto. I look forward to getting to know you again." He led me down into the hub and said he'd walk me out.

.

While we were walking down the corridor, I asked him what he'd told Tosh and Owen about my first visit to the hub. He'd told them I was working with an old friend of his and I had a high level security clearance so I could be trusted. I thought the excuse sounded a bit weak but I couldn't come up with anything better so I said I'd go along with it.

.

Once we got up to the Plas, he'd started getting fidgety. "So, you haven't really accepted my offer yet. Are you going to take the job?"

.

"Oh, sorry. Yes, I'd love to. I'm looking forward to it. Can I call you once I've got everything sorted?"

.

"Yes, that would be great. I'm glad you got in touch with me Ianto. I have to admit - you really made a memorable first impression – _both times_."

.

.

* * *

><p><em><strong>To be continued in … Chapter 7: Into the Desert<strong>_

_**Thank you very much for all your wonderful reviews. **_

.


	15. C7 Into the Desert

_**7– Into the Desert **_

**W/C:** 3634  
><strong>Warningsspoilers/content**: no smut, hardly any profanity, a bit o' angst  
><strong>Summary<strong>: As Ianto makes the transition from working at the precinct to his new job at Torchwood 3 he realizes the consequences of ignoring a blessing.  
><strong>Characters<strong>: Ianto, Colin, Inspector Donaldson, immortal-Jack, Tosh, Owen, Suzie  
><strong>Ianto's New Timeline<strong>: September 27 – October 9, 2005  
><strong>AN**: _The Alchemist_ is a novel by Paulo Coelho

* * *

><p><strong>.<strong>

**.**

_**The Precinct - Final weeks**_

**.**

I woke slowly and surfaced from a strange and nebulous dream. I lay there quietly just feeling the room and all that was in it. Even through closed eyes I could tell it was a bright, warm day. It smelled like fall, though. The time of year I'd always associated with going back to school. I felt my back, warm and relaxed, pressed into my cushy mattress. I heard the slow, steady sound of Colin's breathing and I felt the warmth radiating from his skin. He was curled up against my side, not entwined but touching along our length. He'd wake soon, I knew; the moment I moved or shifted in the slightest. He was a sensitive sleeper.

.

I felt rested, sated, limp and pleasantly sore in all the right places. I hadn't slept so soundly in weeks; not since I'd come back. My mind hadn't allowed me a moment's peace between the anticlimax of a long awaited event, the guilt and self-recrimination I felt over my betrayal with Jack and the sheer rush of excitement associated with starting a new job. Colin had been so excited for me; about my trip into the woods, coming back safe and sound and getting a new job. It only made me feel worse. I'd decided to keep the truth from him. I'd managed to rationalize my fling with Jack and I'd chalked it up to a once in a life time encounter. I vowed to be a better, more attentive, more loving, more dedicated lover.

.

I'd called him on my way home from the interview. I'd been giddy with excitement. He took me out to celebrate. We went out for dinner to our favorite restaurant and then he took me home so we could celebrate some more. He was so kind, so thoughtful; everything Jack wasn't. And how had I repaid him? _By shagging a lover from another life._ I had a lot of making up to do.

.

.

TW**X**DW

.

.

I've always found transitions hard. Leaving something behind, stepping away from the known into the wild and desolate desert. That first step off the cliff incites a deep seated fear of loss and loneliness. It also stirs up issues of regret. I think of The Alchemist's journey across the desert. It's in the middle, in no man's land that we question everything. It's when you can no longer see where you've come from or where your headed that the panic sets in.

.

In my case, as I'm about to step off the cliff, I find that there are so many things left undone or things done differently that sit heavily on my soul. They say "_e__very blessing ignored becomes a curse_." (The Alchemist, p58)

.

I'd been thinking about Lisa lately _a lot_. I realized one day while I was re-reading my journals, that if I had gone to London and joined Torchwood One I would have met Lisa by now. We'd have been dating by now; deeply in love. I'd given that up. The whole experience would never happen; not now. I felt loss for something that had never happened; this time 'round. This nagging question kept pushing itself to the forefront of my mind: _how could I save her if we've never met?_

.

My time at the precinct, with the Inspector and Colin and all the other friends and colleagues I'd met was quickly coming to a close. I guess it was making me evaluate my life as it was. I was about to take a huge leap into the deep, dark, dangerous waters called Torchwood.

.

.

TW**X**DW

.

.

My last week went by far too quickly. It seemed like every few minutes I was interrupted by a fellow co-worker come to say their goodbyes and congratulations. I honestly had no idea how many friends I'd made.

.

The Inspector was moody and sappy and everything in between. He hovered and insisted on taking me out to lunch every single day. He was struggling to say something, that much was clear, but he just couldn't find the words. It was Thursday by the time he got it out.

.

"Ianto, I'm going to miss you. It's going to be boring around here without you. You're the only one that makes me laugh."

.

"Don't worry Inspector; I'm not going very far away. I'm sure we can figure out a way to still spend some time together."

.

"Oh, I know my boy, but it won't be the same. I see you all day long – I'll miss that."

.

"Me too."

.

"Well, maybe you could still come to the club once in a while?"

.

"Of course, I will. I won't have it any other way."

.

"Good, good."

.

.

TW**X**DW

.

.

_**Torchwood 3 - Day 1**_

_**.**_

I showed up at 8 am. I nearly had to tie myself down so I wouldn't arrive at _ridiculously-early-o'clock_. I wasn't going to live, breathe and eat Torchwood – not this time. And I wasn't going to set any precedents today that would screw me later.

.

I only had to wait outside the tourist center door for a few minutes before Jack came up and let me in. He led me down to the hub and offered me a cup of coffee. It was woefully bad but I bit the bullet and slurped down that god awful tar. The others hadn't arrived yet so the hub was nearly silent. He led the way up to his office and had me fill out the official paper work. The first thing he did was have me write my own job description.

.

"Ianto, I want you to decide which duties you'll do. You have a lot of skills and I don't want to stifle you – so you decide – what do you want to do every day?"

.

This was one of those opportunities, you know, the one's you pray for and moan about, and then when they happen you have no idea what to do with them.

.

"Awesome." I beamed. "But can I have some time to write this up? I don't want to rush it."

.

"Of course, take all the time you need. Why don't we get your desk set up while we wait for the others to show up? They'll be here any time."

.

He'd assigned me a desk next to Tosh's. I had lots of space, a ridiculously cool computer, access to everything and the promise that I could write my own ticket. All in all, a pretty good start to the day.

.

Tosh came in first, then Suzie and then finally Owen. They huddled around the coffee machine, drawn to it like an oasis in the desert. They weren't a chipper bunch especially not in the morning.

.

Tosh gave me a tour of my computer, set up all my passwords and then gave me a quick tutorial on all the basic systems. I took copious notes and asked her a million questions, which she happily answered. She was warm and welcoming and made me feel right at home.

.

Then I was subjected to Owen's delightful bedside manner as I was given my induction physical. He was thorough, knowledgeable and extremely competent. When he wasn't being a pratt, he was actually kind of impressive.

.

It was shortly before lunch when we finally finished and Jack bellowed across the hub that lunch had arrived. We congregated in the boardroom and enjoyed the diverse spread Jack had thoughtfully ordered.

.

Midway through lunch, with sounds of chewing and slurping in the background, Tosh asked me the question I'd been dreading.

.

"So, Ianto?"

.

I had just taken a bite so I could only answer with an "hmm?"

.

She grinned shyly and asked, "how come you knew my name the first time we met?"

.

"Ya, I've been wondering that too?" added Owen. He hadn't bothered to chew his food though before opening his mouth so bits of bread and sandwich innards fell out of his mouth in a distinctly off-putting manner.

.

I finished chewing and then took a good long pull on my drink while in my head I was desperately searching for a convincing story. Jack became very attentive and his eyes darted surreptitiously from Owen to Tosh and finally landed on me. My four coworkers sat there waiting patiently for my convincing excuse. "Well, I was briefed on Torchwood 3 but the file only included basic personnel data and ..." I paused for effect. If my excuse was to be believable I'd need the assistance of my ever present nemesis; my tendency to blush. "I just didn't realize how beautiful you were" I admitted. As expected, I blushed.

.

Tosh giggled and her cheeks colored prettily. "Thank you!" she said quietly.

.

Owen sputtered, seemingly outraged.

.

Suzie laughed but not in a nice way.

.

Jack's lips twitched but the smile didn't reach his eyes. He hadn't believed a word I said.

.

.

TW**X**DW

.

.

After lunch, Jack took me down into the archives. He led the way and explained what needed to be done in each section. I nodded and dutifully took notes. We were standing in the main filing room when Jack asked, "so what do you need?"

.

"I'll give you a list with a cost for each item and its purpose by the end of the day. Sound good?" I asked as I looked up from my notebook.

.

"Sounds great," he answered.

.

I noticed he still wasn't smiling so I asked, "anything else you want to talk about Jack?" I tilted my head and smiled encouragingly.

.

He nodded as if he'd been expecting my question. "Yes, actually. Why'd you tell Tosh that _story_ at lunch?"

.

"She's needed a self-esteem boost, Owen needed a wake-up call and I needed to distract them from the real issue."

.

"And just what is the real issue?"

.

"We both know perfectly well what the _issue_ is Jack. Do I need to spell it out?"

.

"Why don't you." He said as he crossed his arms defensively.

.

I shrugged and explained. "Well, I can't exactly tell them that I have unexplainable knowledge about them and Torchwood now can I?" I crossed my arms too, mirroring his body language. I'd read somewhere that this was the best way to deal with authoritarian figures but who knows. "When it comes to timey-wimey stuff Jack you know I'm going to have to lie. I've got to follow the Doctor's directions. I really don't want to be responsible for ripping the universe apart."

.

He stood there, didn't say a thing and then he uncrossed his arms and sighed. "Alright, fine. But don't kid yourself – I'm going to call you on your bullshit. And I can smell bullshit a mile away. So don't even think about trying it on me."

.

"Hey, I have no intention of lying to you Jack. I swear it. I know you don't trust me right now but you will and I won't let you down."  
>.<p>

He seemed to take what I said at face value because he nodded and he shook off his tense stance. "Okay. Time will tell. Come see me before the end of the day."

.

"I will. I'll have those lists for you in a couple of hours, Sir."

.

"Jack," he insisted.

.

"Yes, Sir." I smirked.

.

.

TW**X**DW

.

.

It was late that afternoon by the time I'd finally finished my requisition for the archives and my job description. I knocked on Jack's door and heard him call me in.

.

"What's up?" He asked, head still down, hand scribbling frantically; his signature I guessed.

.

"Sorry to bother you, Sir. Is this a bad time?"

.

"No, it's fine. Come on in. What have you got for me?" He put down his pen and sat back in his chair.

.

"Well, here's the requisition list for the archive and a few things we'll need for around the hub. And here's my job description." I passed it to him and then sat down in the chair.

.

He read the requisition list first. His mouth moving as he read it under his breath. He didn't stop or question anything on the list. I'd included pricing and explicit reasons for each item which seemed to satisfy all his requirements. "This looks fine. Very thorough. Shouldn't be a problem. You can go buy this stuff tomorrow if you like. Take Tosh with you."

.

"Okay, that sounds great." I was glad he'd agreed but I was still waiting for his reaction to my job description. I'd basically started with a list of my preferred duties or roles as I saw them and then detailed it from there. I'd listed my main duties as: in charge of archives, office manager and field agent when needed.

.

He read it over, gave it some thought and nodded. "Also, good. What do you mean by office manager?"

.

"You guys need some help. It's a mess in here, it's completely disorganized, you're under stocked on basic items and I'm willing to bet no one has a clear idea of who does what and when. Am I right?"

.

He made a face, reluctantly agreeing wordlessly.

.

"You need someone who is organized and who actually enjoys overcoming chaos."

.

"You're right." He smiled and went on to the next item. "I totally agree with you being in charge of the archives. It's definitely your area of expertise. What about field agent? How active do you see yourself?"

.

"Well, I'm certainly not as active as you or Suzie but I'm a good investigator and I am resourceful. I'm good in a crisis and you can use me. I'm not saying I want to only do that though. I'd like a balance."

.

"Alright. I can live with all of that."

.

"Really? Just _live with_ or are you _good_ with it?"

.

"Good with it."

.

"Great! Thank you."

.

.

TW**X**DW

.

.

Owen and Tosh invited me out for a drink after work and I happily accepted. Owen stuck his head through Jack's door and invited him to join us later at the pub. I heard him say he'd be along in a short while.

.

"What about Suzie?" asked Tosh.

.

Owen shook his head and grimaced. "She's busy. Had other plans." He scoffed and flicked his head in the direction of Jack's office.

.

Tosh must have understood his meaning because she sighed and shrugged her shoulders. "Well, it's just us and maybe Jack if he gets his paperwork done."

.

"Great, let's go." I helped her on with her coat and we three trailed out of the hub together.

.

We found a decent table and ordered a round. Curiously, I asked, "what's the deal with Suzie and Jack?"

.

"Oh, they've been shagging," answered Tosh quickly.

.

"Oh, ya? Is it serious?" I asked.

.

"No, are you kidding? Owen scoffed loudly.

.

Tosh looked around the pub uncomfortably. "They've been on again off again for a long while.

.

"Anyways, the point is that she's obsessive and violent. And just plain weird." Owen spoke with significant contempt and bitterness.

.

"She's not that bad. She's just … difficult to … get to know." Tosh was trying so hard to be generous and kind.

.

"Anyways, enough about her." Owen changed the subject. "How's your first day going? Ready to run away yet?" He joked sympathetically.

.

I shook my head. "Na, its fine."

.

They looked at each other and grimaced in disbelief.

.

"Really," I insisted. "It's not so different from what I was doing at the precinct. There are just a lot more aliens and a lot less petty theft." I held up my glass and smiled reassuringly at my two new coworkers.

.

Tosh smiled and then began babbling happily. "Jack's been so excited about meeting you. Ever since you _dropped by_ …"

.

"Broke in," corrected Owen.

.

Tosh waved him off. "He hasn't stopped talking about you and some Doctor friend of his. I read your resume, it's impressive. It's good to have you on the team. We can really use some more help; especially, somebody with skills."

.

"Ya, I'll say. And somebody normal doesn't hurt either," added Owen.

.

"Wow. Thanks. I appreciate you two being so welcoming."

.

Tosh looked furtively towards the bar and set her drink down on the table. "I need the w/c. Be right back."

.

"So Owen …" I began just as Tosh was leaving the table. "What made you join Torchwood?" I had every intention of getting to know him and hopefully befriending him as well.

.

He looked down into his half empty glass and swirled the brown froth around. "I … my fiancé got infected with an alien and it killed her."

.

"Holy shit. I'm so sorry."

.

He shook his head side to side and said, "it's okay. It happened. Shit happens you know? Can't change it. All I could do … was try and prevent the same thing from happening to someone else. It's the reason I do it" he said quietly.

.

"I am sorry; for prying and for your loss. I'm sorry Owen." I couldn't believe he'd confided in me. I was honored, truth be told.

.

"How about you?" he asked. "Why … would you want to work for Torchwood?"

.

"It's not that I _want_ to" I stressed. "It's just that crazy alien shit has been following me around for so long that it was just a natural step."

.

"What do you mean it follows you around?"

.

"It started when I was eighteen. And then when I was in uni doing my internship it just … well let's just say … I've been catching Weevils for a few years and I'm sick and tired of Blowfish and Telepathic aliens."

.

"No, shit?" He was impressed.

.

Tosh came back and bought us another round. We laughed and joked about all the stupid aliens we'd encountered. Jack sauntered through the doors an hour after we'd arrived. It was the same as usual. The instant he entered the room, all eyes automatically turned towards him, like a magnet; _a pheromone reinforced super magnet._

.

"Jack!" exclaimed Tosh. "I'm glad you came!"

.

He smiled his gorgeous gleaming smile at her and wrapped his arm around her affectionately.

.

Owen looked behind him and then asked, "where's Suzie? I thought she'd come with you."

.

He frowned and shrugged. "I have no idea. She didn't say anything to me" he explained.

.

Tosh begged off the next round and went home shortly after leaving the three of us telling our outrageous stories. Owen _went for a piss_ as he so inelegantly declared which Jack took as the perfect opportunity to dig into my personal life.

.

"So are you still seeing that guy?"

.

I nodded. "Yes, I am."

.

"What's his name?"

.

I smiled. "Colin."

.

"Is he a cop?" he asked innocently.

.

"Yes, he is." I answered just as mildly.

.

"You're not going to tell me about him are you?"

.

"Not if I can help it." I grinned and enjoyed my evasion.

.

"How about you?"

.

"What about me?"

.

"You know, you and Suzie?"

.

"What about her?"

.

"Aren't you two?"

.

"No, we're not."

.

"Does she know that?"

.

"I … have no idea." He paused then added, "why'd you ask about Suzie?"

.

"Ahh … I was under the impression that you two were having an affair."

.

"Really? You were, were you? How did you come to that conclusion?"

.

My mouth opened and closed wordlessly and I hedged, "I heard a rumour."

.

"From who?"

.

I shook my head. "I can't say."

.

He _tiskted_ and frowned.

.

"I didn't mean to pry … I was just curious."

.

"It's okay. I … it's in the past … it's finished."

.

I shrugged and drank the rest of my beer. I was suddenly quite uncomfortable and at a loss for words; worse yet, so was Jack. So grasping, I changed the subject.

.

"So … _uhm_ … did you still want to evaluate my marksmanship?" I ventured.

.

"Yes, I do. I thought I'd give you a few days to adjust."

.

"I appreciate the thought Jack but I doubt the rift will stay this quiet for long."

.

"Too true" he agreed ruefully. "Let's do that tomorrow shall we?" He was suddenly much happier and that eager gleam sparkled in his eyes.

.

I nodded stiffly. "Okay. That sounds good."

.

"Don't worry. There's nothing to be nervous about. I hardly bite at all" he joked.

.

"Right" I said in my most unconvinced tone of voice.

.

The thing is, I knew exactly what I was in for. I'd experienced it myself and I, like the others had watched Jack on the CCTV giving his trademark Harkness shooting lessons to Gwen. We'd all been subjected to his particularly unique method of teaching. And let me assure you, it was nothing like Inspector Donaldson's.

.

.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Continued in … 8.1 - Trademark Lessons<strong>_


	16. C8,1 Trademark Lessons

**_8.1 - Trademark Lessons_**

**W/C: **2698  
><strong>Warningsspoilers/content**: some smut, mostly just flirty and suggestive, hardly any profanity, references to TW S1.3  
><strong>Summary<strong>: Ianto makes some changes at Torchwood 3 and enjoys a little one-on-one with Jack.  
><strong>Characters<strong>: Ianto, immortal-Jack, Owen  
><strong>Ianto's New Timeline<strong>: October 10, 2005

* * *

><p>.<p>

.

_**Torchwood 3: Day 2**_

.

* * *

><p><em>TW Ianto's Journal TW Ianto's Journal TW<em>

* * *

><p><em>.<em>

_October10, 2005_

_._

_**To do list:**_

_~Distribute new rota: everyone scheduled for cleaning and feeding duties  
>~Warn Jack<br>~Buy 5 garbage cans  
>~Obtain alien cleaningdisinfecting device (bathrooms and such)- maybe Tosh knows?  
>~Shoppingkitchen/coffee duties  
>~Get ready for the shooting range – valium? anti-anxiety pill? cold shower?<em>

_.._.

* * *

><p><em>TW Ianto's Journal TW Ianto's Journal TW<em>

* * *

><p>.<p>

.

I'd left a copy of the new _General Hub Duties Rota_ on everyone's desk. Owen was the first to make his feelings known.

.

"What the hell is this?" He screeched and stood up so abruptly he caused his chair to fly back from his desk. "I'm a doctor not a bloody cleaning lady!" He declared with as much arrogance as he could muster. "Jack …" he shouted as he stomped up the stairs loudly. "I am not bloody well cleaning the bog!"

.

The minute he crossed the threshold Jack demanded, "close the door Owen. Sit. Close your mouth and listen."

.

"Wh.." he sputtered.

.

"Close it!" Jack shouted and pointed at the chair.

.

He crossed his arms and resentfully allowed his arse to make contact with the seat.

.

"Are you part of the team?"

.

"Yes, I …"

.

"Do you use the bog?"

.

"Yes … but… " he whined.

.

"Then you will take your turn at cleaning it!"

.

His mouth made like it was about to flap open.

.

"I don't want to hear another word, Owen. _I'm warning you_."

.

Owen sat still, silent, rigid. He was pissed and offended but he didn't dare challenge Jack when he was like this. Jack didn't make hollow threats. He always followed through and it was always very, very bad for the person involved.

.

"Will there be anything else?"

.

"No," he answered. Quite obviously, he'd been dismissed so he stood up and consciously did not stomp his feet or make any other undue noise as he made his way back to his desk.

.

I'd also left a note on Jack's desk telling him about the new rota. He'd been waiting for the first complainer and had planned on giving them a demonstrative verbal spanking. The rest of the team would toe the line now. No one else wanted to incur the wrath of Jack, especially once they'd heard those deadly words: _I'm warning you_.

.

.

TW**X**DW

.

.

He sauntered over to my desk and spoke briskly. "I'll meet you in the shooting range in about twenty minutes," and then he turned and walked away.

.

"Okay. I'll be there," I called after him.

.

"Oh, hey there," he said as I walked into the room. "Wasn't sure if you'd find it."

.

"Photographic memory," I explained.

.

"Really? How accurate is it?" he asked.

.

"Picture perfect," I said.

.

"Really?" It was a question that went on for several seconds. "Hmmm. I wish I had that – well, sometimes, not all of the time. Some things, you just don't want to remember; other things … however … such as a naughty encounter in a hot tub … well I wish I could remember that more clearly." He winked and leered in a disturbingly familiar way.

.

I pressed my lips together and just nodded slightly. What could I say to that?

.

"Come over here," he said more seriously. It may have been my lack of response that made him shift back into work mode. "You'll need ear and eye protection." He handed me a pair of safety glasses and a set of ear muffs.

.

"Oh, thanks," I said lamely.

.

He gestured to the assortment of guns on the table. "You need to know how to use these."

.

I nodded and ran my eyes over the collection. "Alright," I acknowledged. My eyes stopped when I reached an unfamiliar model. "I've never used this model before. Can we start with this?"

.

"It's all yours. You choose."

.

"I may need some guidance. I'm not sure how it loads …" I said lamely tempting fate. I have a strong will but I've never claimed to be able to resist temptation all of the time.

.

"No problem," he assured me. He picked up the gun and pointed to a box and explained, "the shells are in there … just pop this lever back" he demonstrated once and then he confirmed my understanding, "… like this see?"

.

"Oh, I see. So it's not much different then."

.

"Not too much," he agreed.

.

"Which target should I be aiming for?" I asked.

.

"Let's start with the Weevil shall we?" He winked and then grinned mischievously.

_._

_Ah,_ I thought, _here it comes_.

.

I may have intentionally taunted him a little bit when I wrapped both hands around the grip; I knew it would drive him nuts.

.

"One hand not two," he corrected. He placed a warm hand over mine.

.

I desperately held back a grin and tried to look schooled.

.

Jack came up behind me and wrapped a hand around either shoulder. He used hand pressure to guide me like we were waltzing to an unheard song.

.

"Turn sideways to the target." I felt his warm breath puff into the side of my neck. One might suppose that he'd only moved his face so close to my ear so that I could hear him through the ear protection. With his hands and arms flush against mine, he shifted my body.

.

He stepped closer. Already his voice oozed seduction and piping hot sexuality.

.

"Looking along your shoulder." To get my attention, _like it could have wandered_, he ran a finger down my neck, along my shoulder and continued down my arm which was gripping the gun. He had distracted me so thoroughly by dragging his finger across my skin that I hadn't noticed how close he'd moved his entire torso. He was pressed up against me; flush. His chest warm and hard against my back, his thighs tensed against the back of mine but the most distracting sensation was his groin wrapped around my arse.

.

"Straight line to the sites." I brought up my arm a little too quickly.

.

"Woh, woh, woh - not too fast." His arm snaked around my shoulder and came to rest on my chest. I'm sure he could hear my breath hitch in my throat and hear my heart pounding double-time in my chest.

.

He spoke into my hair, "it's all in the breathing," he claimed. His mouth nearly touched the back of my head; his hot breath ruffled strands of hair sending shivers streaming through my body and left a deep aching heat coiling around my gut.

.

"Hold it firmly." He'd wrapped his hand around my grip on the gun and raised our arms up until they were parallel with the ground and aimed perfectly at the center of the target.

.

"Don't grip it," he reminded me.

.

I nodded.

.

"Cock it," he instructed.

.

So many dirty retorts sprang to mind but I kept my mouth firmly sealed and cocked the gun. I returned to our previous position.

.

He was pleased. "Good," he said. Even with the sound being muffled by my ear protection I could hear the smile in his voice

.

Then he wrapped his other hand around my hip and gripped me tightly there. He pulled me in closer still and told me to _breathe in_. Like I had to be reminded to breathe; only I guess I did.

.

"Focus." He let the word slide out and I heard a thread of tension in it. I let my awareness spread outwards and I realized he was just as tense as I was.

.

"Breathe out," he commanded. I felt him push a lung-full of air outwards; and it was all I could focus on as his chest and diaphragm pressed more firmly against my back.

.

Then he told me to _squeeze gently_; I did and to my great surprise, I actually hit the target smack dab in the middle. It wasn't a surprise that I'd made the shot – I'm actually quite an excellent shot – it was the fact that I'd made the shot _while Jack was rubbing his groin up against my arse_.

.

"That was awesome!" he exclaimed. He was obviously as surprised as I was.

.

"Thanks," I replied shyly.

.

"Okay, try again," he said. He dropped his right arm, the one holding my grip on the gun but the rest of him stayed exactly where it was.

.

So I returned my arm to where it had been a moment ago and I prepared to fire.

.

"Don't grip it too tight," he reminded me.

.

"Show me how you cock it," he demanded. "Right," he said.

.

"Breath first," he reminded me.

.

And again I hit the target close to the center.

.

""Wooo!" he shouted, "nice work, Ianto."

.

"Thank you, Sir. It must be your expert instruction."

.

"Ha!" he barked. "I think perhaps, it was less me and more you." He didn't seem to mind having the opportunity to instruct me and he certainly wasn't eager to move away.

.

"Let's try another one …" he said and stepped back. He swept his hand over the table like a game show hostess.

.

I picked up the gun nearest to me, gave him a repeat performance and then proceeded to work my way across the table. I totally rocked, of course.

.

Through it all, he stood there watching me intently, arms crossed, legs spread wide, silent for the most part but a powerful presence none the less.

.

"You're good," he said after I'd finished a quick draw session. "I'm not surprised, I thought you'd be good but _you're really good_."

.

"Thank you, Sir. I find that I'm much more accurate if I stay well practiced."

.

"That's true for most people, I think."

.

I was standing over the table, replacing the gun I'd just used when he slid up behind me again.

.

He slid my ear muffs down around my neck before he spoke next. "I remember that hot tub ya know. I had a dream about it the other night." He paused and swallowed. "How long has it been for you?"

.

"Less than a month ago," I admitted. _Damn_, I thought, _I am so busted_.

.

"So you were actually seeing this guy Colin at the time, yes?

.

"Yes, and I regret that."

.

"You regret … having sex with me?"

.

"No, just the fact that I cheated on him. I love him."

.

"Then why did you?"

.

"It's complicated."

.

"I'm clever and a patient listener."

.

I groaned as quietly as I could under the circumstances. "I … I made a mistake. I cheated on him … with you."

.

"Ya, but why?"

.

"There were a few reasons, I guess. I was … overwhelmed by recent events, to say the least, I was totally drunk on alien booze and I was … extremely attracted to you."

.

_Not to mention the fact that I've literally been waiting years for you to appear in my life and seeing you again - even the past you - was just too much too resist_.

.

The rest – the truth - I said in my head because the last thing he needed was more arrogance and surely I didn't need to seem any more desperate.

.

I couldn't exactly say _I missed you so much_. How could I explain that one?

.

"Well, I was extremely attracted to you as well, in fact, I still am."

.

"I made a bad judgement call. It's not going happen again."

.

"Why not?"

.

"I'm seeing somebody. I'm monogamous by nature and by preference. I have no intention of being your part-time shag, Jack."

.

"Ah … I see."

.

"I'm not sure that you do." I turned around and looked him straight in the eye.

.

He didn't back up and I didn't raise my voice. It wasn't exactly a prepared speech but it might as well have been. I'd thought about this little rant a time or two. He needed to hear it. If we were ever going to have a relationship he'd need to heed my words.

.

So with our past and our future in mind, I cleared things up as clearly as I could. "I'm _**awesome**_. I totally deserve better than that. I am _**nobody's**_ part-time shag. I _**deserve**_ love, dedication and loyalty. I _**demand**_ equality, honesty and mutual respect."

.

"Okay." He was stunned. I could tell by his blank grasping expression that he had no idea what he should say.

.

"You enjoyed our time together, ya?" I asked.

.

"Absolutely."

.

"Well, so did I. I'd love to have that again, with you when you're ready to meet me half way."

.

He started to shake his head and it looked like he was trying to say something only he didn't know where to start. I cut him off, partly out of pity and partly because I didn't want to hear the same old bullshit.

.

I put a hand on his chest and he shut his mouth. "I know … you think I am constrained by my quaint 21st Century sexual morals. I get that. I really do. But the thing is, you are living in the 21st Century Jack. This is where you and I are right now. So when I say meet me half way I mean I'm willing to stretch my comfort zone as long as you are."

.

"You seem to know an awful lot about me. More than you should."

.

I shrugged and nodded reluctantly.

.

He stood quietly, his head tilted, obviously giving my words some consideration. Then he asked "did ya know what would happen to me … after you left?"

.

I was surprised by his question and slightly confused. I frowned and admitted, "I had a vague idea, just not the timing."

.

"What do ya know?" he insisted.

.

"I know something unexplainable happens and you get … I mean got left behind."

.

"Yes, and?"

.

"And you spent a long time here in Cardiff waiting near the rift."

.

"I wouldn't have seen the Doctor so soon if it hadn't been for you."

.

"I know. It wasn't originally supposed to happen that way."

.

"Thank you for that."

.

I nodded.

.

"You didn't have to do that."

.

"I know."

.

"You didn't even know me."

.

Silence.

.

"Did ya know me?"

.

Silence.

.

"Timey-wimey?"

.

I nodded.

.

"Damn, I hate being on the other end of that answer. Usually it's me saying that."

.

"I know. This time it sucks to be you."

.

He agreed.

.

"Fair play though, I think."

.

"How so?"

.

I shrugged and smiled. "Maybe someday I can tell you."

.

"I hope so."

.

"Are the cameras on in here?"

.

"Ya, why?"

.

"They're going to watch this if they aren't already. "

.

"What makes you think that?"

.

"Just a hunch."

.

"You should probably stop saying things like that."

.

"Hey, if I can't say them to you I might just go insane. I've been holding this all inside for so long Jack. It's good to be able to talk to someone; to you." I spoke softly and my words conveyed the wealth of frustration and relief I felt.

.

"I'd love to know exactly what you've been holding inside Ianto. I hope maybe one day you can trust me enough to tell me the truth."

.

I considered his plea and I sighed. I had the same hope. "You might want to delete the footage once we go back up."

.

He nodded but didn't say anything.

.

As we walked back to the main hub together he was quiet and thoughtful. And with Jack, nine times out of ten, that spells trouble.

.

**.**

* * *

><p><em><strong>Continued in … 8.2 – The Aftermath<strong>_


	17. C8,2 The Aftermath

_**8.2 - The Aftermath**_

**W/C**: 3185  
><strong>Warningsspoilers/content**: some sexual language, some profanity  
><strong>Summary<strong>: Ianto deals with the aftereffects of the shooting range.  
><strong>Characters<strong>: Ianto, immortal-Jack, Owen, Tosh, Suzie  
><strong>Ianto's New Timeline<strong>: October 10, 2005 (Day 2)

* * *

><p>.<p>

.

He'd started acting strangely the moment we left the shooting range. He'd started watching me from his office, from the kitchen, from the railing and he wasn't subtle about it either. All afternoon, he moved around the hub like one of those neurotic pacing zoo animals. You know, the crazy Gibbon who just swings side to side in the same jerky pattern over and over again until exhaustion over takes him. Jack's eyes weren't quite as glossy as the Gibbon's but he did have a peculiar wistful look and the same sense of longing emanated from him.

.

Even Owen noticed and he was normally oblivious to subtle interpersonal exchanges but he was merrily elbow-deep in some alien's body cavity and covered in orange goo so he had a perfectly valid excuse for ignoring him.

.

Suzie had sequestered herself and was manically obsessing over _the glove_. It looked like she was close to figuring it out and judging from her general attitude lately she seemed to be irritated by the distraction caused by our mere existence. She didn't pay us any mind.

.

But Tosh definitely noticed and I caught her casting furtive glances between the two of us on several occasions. Tosh was also unduly nervous, more fidgety than normal and wouldn't look me in the eye when we spoke which made me quite suspicious.

.

So I checked the CCTV logs and sure enough there had been one attempt to access the footage while we were down in the shooting range. Tosh always was the curious one. The logs also showed that Jack had deleted the footage immediately after we came back up. I had no idea how much she saw or heard but from her behaviour I had to assume she'd seen something. I decided to speak to her directly to clear the air, as it were.

.

As nonchalantly as possible, I invited her to have a drink with me after work. It was just the two of us since Owen had a date and Suzie had already left. Jack clanked down the metal staircase as we were gathering our things and asked us about our plans. I told him that I was going to buy Tosh a drink.

.

"Oh, okay." He sighed heavily and stuffed his hands into his pockets.

.

"I'm sure it would be fine if you joined us Jack," Tosh said. She looked briefly at me for confirmation and then asked, "would you like to come along?"

.

He looked at me then down at this shoes and continued staring at them as if they were fascinating. "You sure you don't mind?" He looked at me when he asked.

.

"Of course, not. Please, join us. We're just going to the same pub as yesterday."

.

"How about I meet you there? In say …" he checked his watch, "fifteen minutes?"

.

We looked at each other and nodded.

.

"Great. See you … then." He walked away, mumbling quietly under his breath and running a hand vigorously through his sandy blonde hair.

.

"What's going on with Jack?" she whispered.

.

"I'm not sure," I whispered back. "He's been acting weird all day."

.

"I know! I thought it was just me. He has hasn't he?" She seemed quite pleased that it wasn't just her imagination.

.

"Yep, really weird."

.

"Well, let's go get a good table. I'm peckish. I need something greasy."

.

"_Ehhh_," I said with my disgusted face, "I could do with some greens myself."

.

"You're weird."

.

"Because I eat real food?"

.

She snorted. "Yes, exactly."

.

"Mmmm hmmmm," I retorted.

.

We walked briskly across the Plas and found a seat where were could both relax. I wanted to talk to her before he got there so I jumped right in.

.

I started by asking her if everything was okay. She claimed it was.

.

"What about the shooting range footage?" I insisted.

.

She stayed silent but her wide _deer-caught-in-the-headlamps_ like eyes betrayed her. They didn't just scream '_I'm guilty!'_ they practically jumped up and down waving their arms in the air.

.

"Did you have something you wanted to ask me about?"

.

"What?" She continued to protest. "No, of course not."

.

"I checked the logs Tosh."

.

"Oh, of course you did." She moaned, wrapped her hands around her ears and confessed quickly. "I only watched for a moment. I'm really sorry for snooping."

.

"What did you see?"

.

"Nothing, really," she insisted but it didn't stop the rosy blush from creeping up her neck.

.

I just raised my eyebrow; it said _oh, really?_

.

She gave in and confessed some more. "I saw him … _ah_ … standing really close behind you."

.

"_Ah_, yes," I sighed melodramatically, "the Trademark Harkness Training method."

.

"Oh, that's a good name for it." She snorted a little when she laughed.

.

I leaned forward, grinning and asked, "did he try that with you too?"

.

"Sss .. .ssimilar," she stuttered, "but not quite as … _ahhh_ … close or for such a long time … " she let her voice trail off.

.

"How long did you watch us Tosh?"

.

She blushed furiously and then she apologized again. "I'm so sorry. It was pretty _hmmm_ hot though." She giggled and covered her mouth with a slender hand.

.

My cheeks were starting to ache from the uncontrollable grin stretching wide across my face.

.

"Did he hit on you the whole time?" she asked breathlessly.

.

I shrugged and did my best Jewish grandmother impression, "_**meh …**_ most of it."

.

"But you turned him down didn't you?"

.

I nodded.

.

"You don't fancy him?"

.

I blew out a long breath and admitted, "oooh, I do."

.

"Everybody does," she complained. She shook her head partly in disgust and partly in disbelief. "Then why'd you turn him down?" she asked finally.

.

"I'm seeing somebody – a very nice man - his name is Colin."

.

"Oh, I see."

.

We stared down into our glasses for a moment.

.

Then she blurted, "he's been staring at you ever since."

.

"I know," I agreed. "It's weird."

.

"He doesn't usually act so … _moony_."

.

"What do mean?"

.

"Well, he just says what he wants and what he thinks. If he thinks somebody's hot he just says so; man or woman – it doesn't matter."

.

I shrugged a shoulder and added, "it's a good policy."

.

"You too?" She sounded sincerely distraught.

.

"Well, I'm a touch more subtle than he is."

.

"I imagine so." She paused then asked, "so do you only date men?"

.

"No not at all. It doesn't really matter to me. I date who I like, who I'm attracted to."

.

"But you _are_ attracted to him right?" she pressed.

.

"Oh, definitely." I answered quickly without giving it much thought.

.

"Then … do you think you two'll ever … ?"

.

"Well, two things really: I'm in love with Colin and I don't think he's ready for a relationship. Certainly not ready for me."

.

She chuckled.

.

"He'd have to adjust his natural tendencies quite a bit before he and I could…"

.

"Oh, you mean his wandering eye!" She blurted out the words a little too loudly and a few people looked our way.

.

"It's not just his eye that wanders …" I teased.

.

"I'll bet!"

.

"You'd be right." I sobered and added, "if he wants to date me then he needs to work harder at not being a complete … tramp."

.

"Harsh."

.

"But true."

.

"Ya."

.

Just then Jack popped his head between us and asked, "what you two talking about?"

.

"You."

.

"Oh, really?" he asked excitedly.

.

"We're talking about your faults," I explained.

.

"Your failings as a potential mate," she added.

.

"Ow." He pressed a hand to his chest.

.

"You have a long way to go," Tosh said and patted him on the shoulder.

.

"Ouch." His face fell and he looked more like a wounded animal and less like a psychotic Gibbon.

.

"The truth hurts," I mused.

.

He looked at me intently and asked, "if I change my ways would you consider changing your mind?" He'd found his grin and his eyes glittered with challenge.

.

"Maybe, but it would have to be an _impressive change_," I said offhandedly and took a drink.

.

"I can do impressive," he said in a low, sultry voice.

.

"I don't mean impressive between the sheets Jack. I'm talking about being an impressive partner."

.

"Thwarted!" Tosh interjected.

.

He shook his head in dismay but he was still grinning. "You'll be the death of me," he declared.

.

"Oh, I doubt that very much Jack," I argued.

.

He had no better come back so he took out the really big guns. "Ianto … just shut up."

.

"Make me." I wiggled my head back and forth like an Egyptian.

.

"I will …" he threatened.

.

"You don't scare me." And he didn't. And he knew it too.

.

"I should," he whined, "I scare everybody else."

.

"They don't know what I know."

.

"Oh and what is that?"

.

I merely raised an eyebrow.

.

"Hmmm," he fumed, "I _**really**_ want to hate you."

.

Tosh sat there, grinning like a fool, her head swept back and forth between us as our argument deteriorated from its lofty intellectual heights.

.

"But you can't."

.

"No and why is that?" He complained loudly with a distinctive whiney edge.

.

I made a funny scrunched up face, leaned towards him and then speaking loud enough for Tosh to still hear I said, "you're _**drawn**_ to me."

.

"Maybe," he said flippantly.

.

"You think about me _**all the time**_."

.

"Possibly," he admitted grudgingly.

.

"You even _**dream**_ about me."

.

"That's not fair," he whined pathetically.

.

I leaned closer still. "You fantasize about doing me over your desk - _**hell**_ probably over _**my**_ desk."

.

*Silence*

.

*Raised eyebrows*

.

He took my glass out of my hand and guzzled it down.

.

"Wow," said Tosh, "I've never seen him speechless before."

.

He glared at her.

.

"Nice going Ianto." She congratulated me with a clap on the back. "You're my hero."

.

Jack glared some more.

.

She made a point of looking dramatically between us and then declared, "I'm off to bed." She smiled and gave us each a hug goodnight before she left.

.

"I guess that just leaves you and me … whatever _**shall**_ we talk about?" I raised an eyebrow teasingly.

.

Jack just moaned and melodramatically dropped his head to the table into the protection of his crossed arms.

.

I sighed. It was going to be a long night; one that involved either a cold shower or a booty call.

.

When Jack brought his head up only moments later his gaze locked onto mine and he warned, "you're playing with fire."

.

"I know," I quipped flippantly.

.

He looked utterly confused, shook his head and closed his eyes. "I don't … I don't get you. One minute you're hot, the next you're cold then you're flirty. I don't know what to expect from you."

.

"I'm a complicated guy."

.

"I believe that. But tell me one thing … if you're really in love with this guy Colin like you say … then why do you bother flirting with me?"

.

"Come on? Seriously? _You?_ The master of flirtation? Captain of the Innuendo Squad? You're asking me why I flirt! I thought flirting was like breathing for you!" I'd gradually moved towards him and my voice had progressively increased in volume as my rant wore on. By the last word I'd even gone so far as to poke him in the chest with a solitary finger.

.

"Okay, okay … yes … you're right. I have been known to flirt …"

.

I made a _don't-give-me-that-bullshit_ face and he promptly changed his tune.

.

"… alright … I flirt _**a lot**_ … always have … with everyone. But that doesn't mean I'm not genuinely confused right now." A frown marred his normally smooth forehead and his eyes were narrowed and dark. He was confused, I could see it plainly.

.

"Fair enough. Maybe I'm confused too and I'm flirting to compensate."

.

He nodded slightly giving me the point.

.

"And another thing," I continued, "you and I both know it's quite possible to care for two people at the same time."

.

"I know … I'm sorry I even said that. I was just trying to piss you off."

.

"It worked."

.

"Sorry."

.

"Forgiven." I'd finished my drink so I slipped off my stool. I put my coat back on and when I turned around to say goodbye Jack was already up and laying cash on the table for the tab.

.

"I've got it. Let me walk you out."

.

"Okay." _Be calm_, I coached myself. _No need to panic_. _You're just two people walking out of a door together_.

.

He'd graciously held the door open for me. I smiled appreciatively and thanked him. We walked side by side down the dimly lit street. He was walking very close; his arm brushing against mine and with every step my breathing came faster.

.

"So, I spoke to Tosh about watching the CCTV footage of our time in the range." I've always detested uncomfortable silences mostly because I usually attempt to end them with ridiculous small talk.

.

"I saw that. She's quick, I'll give her that. You certainly called that one. Do I need to talk to her?"

.

"No," I shook my head, "I don't think so." I chuckled. "She was paying attention to your _technique_ more than anything." I snorted at his confused look.

.

"What do you mean my _technique_?"

.

"We've coined it the _Tradmark Harkness Training Method_. Have you sexually harassed all of your employees in the guise of –"

.

Mid-word, he grabbed me by the shoulders and shoved me up against a wall. My words tapered off and were completely forgotten. He pressed into me and we stood nearly eye to eye. His were smoldering, smoky, dark and lust filled. Mine, I imagine, were slightly more shocked than anything.

.

"Jack … wha.."

.

"Zip it," he commanded. "You," he ran his hand up my arm, "are" he slid a knee between my legs, "a" his thumb came to rest on the clef in my chin and his fingers brushed across my ear, "tease," he leaned in and pressed his chest against mine. He stopped when his lips were a hair's breadth away from mine.

.

I froze; utterly and completely. My mind - you know, the good part – was calling for action – demanding that I push him away but the bad part was in charge of the present situation and it called for the status quo. So I stood there still as a statue only with a much better blood flow and a highly functioning heart and all I could do was allow my eyes to flicker back and forth between his lips and his eyes. If I stared too long I'd be lost in those eyes and against my better judgement I was drawn to those luscious slightly parted lips.

.

"You've lit a flame. I told you, you're playing with fire. I don't like to be played with."

.

And I was back. "Neither do I!"

.

He was taken aback; well only his head, the rest of him stayed exactly where it was. "I haven't played with you," he insisted.

.

"You have! I've told you exactly what I want – and I won't settle for anything less Jack. But be clear – if you push me – I'll push back – and that includes flirting," I trust my hips forward for emphasis, "and rubbing up against me," I gripped his jaw and pulled his face forward until it was close to mine again," is flirting." I meant for my voice to sound harsh with anger but it may have been misconstrued as thick with lust.

.

A slow grin crept across his lips but I saw him swallow. "You're right, again. I was … flirting … playing a bit …" he changed his words when I challenged him with a look, "… _**a lot**_ in the shooting range."

.

We stood there, in battle stance for _an-unbelievably-long-time_ and then something flickered in his eyes; he leaned forward and kissed me. In my defense, my hands did come up and press against his chest and I did pull my head back as far as I could but _there was a wall behind me_. The prosecution would provide the court with a disgraceful recording of me moaning into his mouth but I certainly wasn't the only one moaning!

.

Furthermore, I couldn't move left or right; his leg was still slotted between mine. I was pinioned against a brick wall for goodness sake! What could I do?

.

Also, my reasoning powers had fled the scene of the crime, leaving me bereft and vulnerable to the seductive lure of the taste of his mouth and the seemingly endless supply of hands that broke through my security system and freely roamed my … _property_.

.

When exactly does moaning turn into groaning? And what do you even call that high-pitched overly aroused, ready to pop, severely needy - _whine_? All the moaning and groaning and whining were sure to lead to an extended session of self-deprecating self-loathing; but not just yet.

.

I know, I know. I am a weak willed man, especially when it comes to Jack. He's my Achilles heel, my Medusa's head in bag, my Road-Runner and I am only going to get shot in the ankle, turned to stone and then smashed over the head by a rock. This way leads to madness and pain. _Beep-beep_!

.

Finally, we broke for air and I was able to gather some morsel of inner strength. I dropped my forehead to his and heaved the words from deep within. "Jack, stop. I can't. You know I want to but now is not the time. You can't give me what I want – what I need – so now is just not the right time."

.

"I wanna give you what you want Ianto." He tried to lift my chin but I kept it pulled tight. He sighed. "I just don't know _what that means_."

.

"You'll figure it out. I know you will. But only when you're ready Jack and not a moment before."

.

"Ianto … I …"

.

"It's okay. I know." I swept my hand gently, lovingly across his cheek. "We can be great together, you know? Amazing."

.

"I have no doubt." For once he didn't leer. His voice was serious and his eyes shone brightly with determination.

.

.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Continued in … 9 – Get Yer Groove On<strong>_

_**Thank you so very much for all your wonderful reviews. Even just a few words are so appreciated. **_


	18. C9 Get Yer Groove On

_**9 – Get Yer Groove On**_

**W/C:** 3716  
><strong>Warningsspoilers/content**: some sexy mousse-catering, some sexual language and situations  
><strong>Summary<strong>: a song, a little dance and a date to remember.  
><strong>Characters<strong>: Ianto, immortal-Jack, Tosh, Owen, Suzie, Elena (OFC)  
><strong>Ianto's New Timeline<strong>: October 27, 2005  
><strong>AN:** Exile owns Kiss You All Over – all hale Exile

* * *

><p>.<p>

.

As we neared Samhain the weather turned ferocious, bringing with it a near freezing rain and a penetrating wind that was cold and biting. The rift was active and seemed to dump some variation of alien refuse on the Cardiff streets every other day or so. We'd only had a few alien visitors since I'd started and they were mainly tourists who were peacefully sent on their way.

.

Since my field agent duties had been so undemanding I'd been able to focus most of my energies on the archives and on making the hub run more smoothly. The first thing I did was institute a new archival system which I promptly taught to the rest of the team.

.

"All new documents will be immediately scanned and cross-referenced like so." I demonstrated the new scanner while the rest of the team looked on. Jack watched quietly; his mere presence a show of support. Every so often he'd glare pointedly at Owen or Suzie if they mumbled or stopped paying attention.

.

Since the shooting range incident I'd become acutely aware of his eyes following me around the hub; I felt the heat of his gaze penetrate my exposed flesh. I'd never really understood what they meant by _undressing you with their eyes_. It had been an expression - nothing more; something you read about in a smutty romance novel – _if you read that type of thing_. But this … this was entirely _**real**_. I could see him moving pieces of my clothing _with his eyes_, popping buttons, sliding zips down … _oh-my-giddy-aunt_. I was becoming frazzled, to say the least.

.

I had to force myself to focus on the task at hand. I moved to the computer terminal that I'd set up next to the scanner and I demonstrated the proper procedure for the team. "You will then select the most descriptive tags for each document like so. I have set up the tag cloud so we will be able to search all our documents by key word and by frequency of use. Everything is cross-referenced. All paper copies will be submitted for alphabetical filing."

.

I handed out the written instructions which basically summarized everything that I'd been saying. "Every member of the team will complete their own paperwork, give it to Jack for his signature then you'll scan it and tag it."

.

Our eyes met and his dark gaze flickered for a millisecond and I felt him undo the last button of my shirt. "Once that's done put it here and I'll file it - eventually." I summed up in a very business-like manner and turned to Jack. "There is always going to be a backlog of filing, and it's been that way for at least a decade, a few more months aren't going to make any difference." _Oh please stop doing that with your eyes,_ I pleaded in my head, _I can't think straight!_

.

He smiled and nodded in agreement. "Absolutely. Thank you Ianto." His voice was smoky, musky and slick with desire.

.

"You're welcome." I cleared my throat and pushed those thoughts away. "Any questions?" I asked the rest of the team.

.

"When does the new system begin?" asked Tosh.

.

"Now," said Jack.

.

Owen and Suzie groaned their distaste but Tosh seemed rather happy about the changes. I had a feeling that she'd been doing more than her fair share of paperwork and filing for quite a long time.

.

They dispersed and resumed work on their respective projects; all but Jack. "Ianto?" He angled his head towards his office. "Join me in my office please."

.

"Sure." I picked up my ever present notebook and followed him up the clanking metal stairs. To say that I felt a deep sense of trepidation may have been an award-winning understatement.

.

"Sit down." He sauntered around his desk. "That was good. Great ideas." He leaned back in his chair and plopped his feet up on the desk. "Things will run much smoother and I'm guessing Tosh will be doing a lot less work as a result." I couldn't tell if his words were loaded, laden or just complimentary.

.

"That's what I was thinking." My eyes flicked across his face and got caught in the rip-tide of the swirling blue depths of his eyes. "She was the only one not complaining." I needed to get my mind out of the gutter. Chances were good that I was imagining the whole scenario.

.

"I noticed." As a matter of principle he tried to avoid micromanaging his team but sometimes his hands-off approach just allowed certain members to abuse the system.

.

"Anything … else?" I was jittery and nervous. My voice must have given it away.

.

He nodded and his feet dropped to the floor. He leaned forward and interlaced his fingers on top of his desk. "So … do you have everything you need down there?"

.

I nodded. "Ya, thank you. I've set up a little corner where I can put my coffee cup." I laughed nervously.

.

"Good. _Uhm_ … did Tosh get the computer you asked for?"

.

"Oh yes, it's perfect. I have everything I need." I felt like he was toying with me.

.

"Great." He paused. "So do ya have … dinner plans this evening?"

.

I sat, unblinking and silent for a moment while he held my gaze. "No, not really." Maybe I wasn't imagining it after all.

.

He nodded but he didn't smile exactly; it was more of a grimace. He was nervous. "Can I … would you like to have dinner with me?" He held his breath.

.

"Jack ..." I wasn't sure if I could be alone with him without my mouth accidentally coming into contact with his.

.

"Just dinner." He held his hands out in supplication. "I promise. Look I'm really bad at this. I should be better." He ran a hand through his hair nervously. "I've been around … _ahem_ … for a long time. Seen the beginning of the Century," he declared. He was talking with his hands the way someone's French mother does when she's ranting with her sisters. "I've watched people avidly. But I really don't have much experience in this arena. With sex – yes, but polite, innocent dating – _none_. So, please have pity on me? Have dinner with me? I promise – I'll be the perfect gentleman." He looked at me earnestly; his eyes beseeched me, his words begged for a chance.

.

"How can I say no to an offer like that?" I smiled. _Fool,_ my inner realist derided _you know he doesn't need your pity!_

.

He let out a breath of relief. "Thank you, you won't regret it!"

.

"Just dinner," I reminded him before I stood up and turned to go (_ran away)._

.

His head bobbed in understanding and his grimace transformed into a smile.

.

.

TW**X**DW

.

.

I spent the rest of the morning down in the archives (_hiding_) doing some filing and organizing. I'd set up my desk in the main room. It was equipped with a laptop and mini speakers. I'd made myself a playlist, something to listen to in the background while I worked. I was feeling pretty good.

.

_Jack had actually asked me out to dinner._

_._

_On a date. I mean dinner – just dinner._

_._

_What a concept._

_._

_Who'd of thought it was even possible?_

.

As I said, I was in a good mood. When I'm in a good mood and I listen to music I tend to dance. I've even been known to sing.

.

I've always been a sucker for Exile. I love a good seventy's classic.

.

Unbeknownst to me, Jack had come down to let me know that lunch had arrived. And to my utter mortification and to his utter delight he'd come upon me at the very height of self-indulgence.

.

He stood just out of sight, watching and listening as I proceeded to catapult myself into the very depths of mortification. I'd always loved that cheesy song and I was especially happy; looking forward to our dinner date. I had no idea he was there.

.

I laid the stack of files out on the desk so they were easily accessible. I turned on the music and picked one up. The song began with those familiar bars … then my feet just began to move to the music. I slid across the floor in my slippery dress shoes and began to sing.

.

"When I get home, babe," I murmured in my sexiest voice.

[_Slide – slide – slide_]

"Gonna light your fire." I slid the file into the correct spot.

[S_lide – slide – slide_]

I picked up the next file with a flourish and travelled back across the room.

[_Spin - slide – slide – slide; sweep left - sweep right_]

And all the while I was singing my heart out; belting out those well-practiced words in perfect sync with the music. "All day, I've been thinkin' about you, babe." I had a great rhythm going.

[_Swoosh - swoosh … hip thrust - hip thrust_]

"You're my one desire." I threw my head back dramatically then I spun around and did a patented Saturday Night Fever move that even John Travolta would have been proud of.

[_Sashay – disco arm – disco arm – side thrusting_]

My voice rang out bold and oblivious. "Gonna wrap my arms around you." I ran my now empty hands down my sides in a tantalizing manner as I made a passionate promise. "Hold you close to me!"

[_Pelvic thrust followed by a bent legged hip wiggle_]

"Oh, babe, I wanna taste your lips," I begged. "I wanna be your fantasy, yeahhhhh." I was enjoying myself thoroughly and I really dragged out that last word.

.

He let me continue until I'd done my entire _hip wiggling - pelvic trusting – sashaying - disco arm thing_. At least he only let me get through the first verse.

.

Then he came around the corner and said, "nice dance moves sexy." He stood there; be-grinned with one arm leaning up against the wall with his eye brows waggling in a teasing manner.

.

I almost died. But instead of dying, I spun around and my mouth hung down somewhere around my knees. I made every effort to capture my wayward lower jaw and held it tightly to my face with both hands.

.

He chuckled - _**at me -**_ _**not with me**_ - and finally said what he'd come down to say in the first place. "Lunch is here," he declared.

.

Dumbfounded, I stood there.

.

He turned and went back the way he came. Over his shoulder he tossed a promise of future surveillance. He said, "remind me to come down here more often."

.

.

* * *

><p><em>TW Ianto's Journal TW Ianto's Journal TW<em>

* * *

><p><em>.<em>

_October 27, 2005_

_._

_**To do:  
><strong>__- die, just let me die  
>- avoid further song and dance performances if at all possible<em>

_**.**_

_**Not to do**__:  
>- DO NOT FALL INTO HIS BED TONIGHT<em>

_._

_I can't believe Jack caught me singing and dancing. Especially to that song! Gods if he only knew my fantasy. I am so flaming mortified. It took me a few to compose myself and every drop of willpower to follow him up the stairs. All throughout lunch my gut was coiled with anxiety. I felt like tossing the entire time._

_._

_At the very least, I'd expected him to make a comment about my song and dance routine but it never happened. I dare say, when he didn't say anything I started to suspect the worst. I feared he might produce some CCTV footage for the rest of the team's enjoyment – but he didn't. I thought for sure I'd be the butt of every joke from now until the end of time._

_._

_He never even brought it up. He did grin at me an awful lot today though and I'm sure he will for the next while. I'm almost positive I heard him humming the tune under his breath during the meeting this afternoon._

_._

_I'm just waiting for him to finish up so we can go to dinner. Our date that is __**not **__a date. I can't wait … well for a lot of things … but we'll just start with dinner. _

.

* * *

><p><em>TW Ianto's Journal TW Ianto's Journal TW<em>

* * *

><p>.<p>

.

TW**X**DW

.

.

I sat on the slightly minging sofa that graced our hallowed hub while I waited for Jack to finish up a call and wrote a few lines in my journal. _What a day_, I thought. And it wasn't over with yet. I still had dinner to get through. Well, by get through I meant '_get through without accidentally losing my clothes and finding myself in bed with Jack_'.

.

Suddenly, he appeared right next to me, like he does sometimes. I suspect he tries to sneak up on me every now and again just to prove that he still can. Or perhaps he was trying to see what I was writing.

.

"What ya writing?" He tried to peer over my shoulder but I snapped the book shut with a loud _thwap_.

.

"Private thoughts," I said tersely.

.

"Okay. I won't peak. Please don't be mad," he added teasingly.

.

I blanched. I had very little to be mad about. After all, he hadn't even outed me for my little performance - yet. "I'm not. How could I be mad? You haven't done a thing." I smiled and slipped my journal into my splendid new _low-profile-man-bag_. "So where to?"

.

"Oh, you'll see soon enough. Come on, I'll drive."

.

I followed him to the SUV. "Not even a hint?" I wheedled.

.

"They serve food there," he deadpanned.

.

"Good to know funny man." I had to grin. His delivery was spot on.

.

He drove, like he always does; as if the universe were ending. I figure it's his way of staying primed in case of a real emergency. Don't want to get out of practice. That just wouldn't do. Let's just say that the _holy-shit-bar_ is well used in the Torchwood SUV.

.

He slid into the last remaining parking space just a fraction of a second before an old man in a _long-awkward-pimp-mobile_ was about to. He'd been teetering on the precipice and had been just about to take the plunge only Jack beat him to it. We were out, car doors locked and at the restaurant door before the old man got his window rolled down low enough to be able to give us a piece of his mind.

.

It was lovely; dark and atmospheric. Exotic spices scented the warm air and shaded candle light danced playfully at the center of each blue tiled table. Spanish guitar music played softly in the background and the lady who greeted us handled Jack with a surprising level of intimacy that spoke of a sordid tale or two. She kissed him on each cheek and then once firmly on the lips while her robust hips pressed up against him. He whispered something in her ear which made her pull away and chuckle. "Oh, Jack. You torture me," she breathed heartily.

.

He introduced us. "Elena this is my very good friend Ianto."

.

She slid away from him seductively and approached me like a stealthy mountain lion on the hunt. "Ianto …" she breathed, "it is my pleasure to meet you." She ran her hands up my jacket lapels and then wrapped her long fingers around the edges at either side of my neck. She had me gulping for air; her heady blend of perfume and natural womanly scent made my head spin; it also made me stutter like an idiot. "N .. nice t .. to meet you … Elena." Her ample papaya shaped breasts brushed up against my chest and I almost stopped breathing when she slid her hands inside my coat and slipped it off my shoulders. The only thing I was aware of at that moment was the heat coming off her hands; I could feel it radiating through my dress shirt and it scorched me, utterly and completely. It was a good thing it was dark, is all I'm saying. All the better to hide the growing bulge in my pants.

.

By the time she'd taken both of our coats and hung them up I'd considered taking up smoking and I sure as hell needed a drink. "Holy shit, Jack." I muttered once we were seated. "She's …" I swallowed and tried to find the words … _Hot? Sexy as hell? Sex on legs_? I settled for, "incredible."

.

He snorted. "You said it. She is all that … and more."

.

"Oh, I'm sure. You and her?" I suggested a little conspiratorially.

.

Clearly, he was trying to look like he wasn't trying to smile but he failed miserably.

.

"I can't blame you. She's insanely hot. She could have had her way with me in the entrance and I wouldn't have said nay."

.

"Well, let me just call her back here …" he offered playfully.

.

I held up my hands in protest. "No. Please no. I'm not strong enough. She'd break me."

.

"Oh, ya. She would. She's the breaking kind." He leaned forward and spoke cheekily.

.

"Is that a recent thing? How long has it been?" I asked nonchalantly.

.

"Oh, not for years." He looked at her wistfully.

.

"So, what did you whisper in her ear?"

.

"I told her we were on a date."

.

"Oh." I was shocked and at a loss for words.

.

He just smiled. Probably because I didn't insist once again that it wasn't a date.

.

"What's good here?" I flipped through the menu but my mind was racing. I was having trouble concentrating on the words.

.

"Everything. Especially the … Do you like seafood?"

.

"Sure. Why don't you order your favorites?" I suggested. I figured since he'd probably tried everything on the menu he'd be able to make a wiser choice than I.

.

"Okay, if ya don't mind. Wine or beer?"

.

"How about wine? Red?" I suggested.

.

"Sounds great. They have a good Chilean. You'll love it."

.

"I'll leave it up to you. I'm in your hands," I said with a grin.

.

"Now that sounds promising." He graced me with a full-bodied leer.

.

"Gentleman remember?" I reminded him with a chiding tone.

.

"I'm being a gentleman. I'm just a flirty gentleman is all," he retorted.

.

I shook my head and frowned in mock disapproval but my smile gave away my real feelings. I loved his flirty banter; I couldn't get enough of it.

.

The food was phenomenal, the music was beautiful, the wait staff attentive and thoughtful. Jack was entertaining and playful. It was an amazing dinner date. He tried to spoon feed me chocolate mousse but I resisted so he called Elena over and asked her to do it. He insisted, "one should not have to feed oneself chocolate mousse. It's against some rule, somewhere. I'm sure of it."

.

She was delighted. She actually sat on my lap and fed me a mouthful of the sexiest chocolate mousse I have ever experienced. I could have killed him. He was enjoying himself more than anyone should be allowed to. Luckily for me, she was called away by a very stern looking man from the kitchen. Judging from the scowl on his face, he was definitely not as delighted as we were by what he saw.

.

"I've never been so turned on by chocolate mousse before," I admitted between gasps and laughter. This time Jack laughed - _**with me**_ _**- not at me**_.

.

"That was priceless. Your face! You are priceless." His eyes glittered and he looked at me intently.

.

"I'm glad you enjoyed yourself."

.

"I did. It looked like you did too?" He raised a brow questioningly.

.

"You'd have to be dead, not to." I snarfed down the last spoon of mousse and made an appropriately _oh-my-gods-this-is-fucking-incredible_ expression along with the accompanying sounds.

.

"So would you … date her?" He fished for my answer and wiggled his eyebrows.

.

"Well, ya if she asked. But I really don't think I'm her type. She's just playing around, isn't she?"

.

"I don't think so. She's not like that with all the patrons."

.

"Just you and your guests I take it?" I shot back.

.

He shrugged. "Maybe, she's looking for a threesome. I don't know."

.

"Oh come on! You're shitting me!"

.

"Stranger things …" Jack smiled but he seemed a bit distracted.

.

"Something on your mind Jack?"

.

"I was just thinking … you're not like most men. You're not as constrained by 21st Century hang-ups. It's refreshing. I like it."

.

"Thanks Jack" His compliment warmed me like a smoldering fire.

.

He drove me home around ten. He parked across the street from my flat and left the engine running. "Are you going to invite me up?" he asked.

.

"Absolutely not." I said firmly. _Keep him away from your bed_, I reminded myself.

.

He sighed wistfully. "Too bad. I was looking forward to seeing your place," he added.

.

I shook my head. "Not going to happen. Certainly not tonight."

.

"Afraid I might try and take advantage of you?" he asked innocently.

.

"Hell ya. I'm sure of it," I proclaimed.

.

He huffed. "Busted."

.

"Good-night Jack." I said more firmly. "Thank you. I had a great time. The food, the restaurant and the _ahh_ service was amazing." I chuckled and reached for the door handle.

.

"Ianto …" he said my name quietly and I stopped. He took a deep breath before he spoke. "You know I want to … _date_ you right?"

.

"I know Jack." I spoke equally as quiet.

.

"I just want to make sure you know. And if you should suddenly change your mind … well the offers on the table. Until then though, I can't promise that I'm going to stop … flirting."

.

I nodded. "I wouldn't have it any other way." I said finally and then graced him with one final smile before I slipped out of the car and scurried off to the safety of my flat.

.

.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Continued in … 10 – Follow the Retcon Road<strong>_

**.**


	19. C10 Follow the Retcon Road

_**10 – Follow the Retcon Road**_

**W/C:** 2804  
><strong>Warningsspoilers/content**: some rude language, reference to _TW1.8 They Keep Killing Suzie_  
><strong>Summary<strong>: Ianto and Tosh spy on Suzie.  
><strong>Characters<strong>: Ianto, immortal-Jack, Tosh, Owen, Suzie  
><strong>Ianto's New Timeline<strong>: November 2 - 27, 2005

* * *

><p>.<p>

.

The end of my first month working for Torchwood Three was fast approaching and it had gone quite smoothly, all things considered. My premature insertion into the team had upset things a little though and I was starting to feel the effect my presence was having.

.

Jack had started acting strangely around Suzie and she was getting frustrated. She had no interest in ending their sexual relationship and continued to make advances but was rebuffed each and every time.

.

His attentions had shifted – _ever since I joined_ - and a dangerous situation was developing, for me at least. I still caught him staring every now and again. He'd also started flirting more frequently and in front of the others. In private he continued his attempts to woo. He was being way too obvious. As Tosh had so aptly put it, _he was mooning over me_.

.

He didn't realize he was putting me in danger of course. How could he? He still trusted her; _his second in command_. He had no idea she was insane.

.

She was getting jealous and seriously pissed. And I knew from experience, you didn't want Suzie pissed at you; unless you wanted to wake up dead. She'd killed for less. Hell, she'd killed just so she could _test the fucking glove_. She was certifiable. I still had no idea how to eliminate her before she could do any real harm. As far as I knew, she'd only been excessively Retconning the Pilgrim group. Oh, and she'd probably started programming that guy Max with the poem and other subliminal triggers. I'd need to talk to Jack about checking for her hidden shut-down program. We'd need to up security. What I needed to do was _lock her up_. But without proof … well I'm not sure Jack would even believe me.  
>.<p>

.

TW**X**DW

.

.

Every Thursday night, like clockwork, no matter what we were doing, Suzie disappeared. No one had any idea what she was doing or where she went, except me and I wasn't supposed to know. I needed to find some proof to back-up the claims I would soon make. She'd started exhibiting paranoid, erratic behaviour but neither Jack nor the others had yet to notice. I needed a co-conspirator; someone on my side, someone in the loop to a certain extent and Tosh was the perfect choice.

.

Convincing her wasn't very hard; she'd come to the conclusion that something wasn't right about Suzie many, many moons ago. All she needed was a little push.

.

I rolled my chair closer to Tosh and leaned close. "Tosh," I whispered. "I need to talk to you in private. Got a minute?" I led her down into the archives, to a room without surveillance of any kind.

.

"What is it?" she asked nervously.

.

"It's Suzie," I said simply.

.

She arched her lovely eyebrows quizzically.

.

"There's something very wrong about her. I think she's becoming unstable. I think she's dangerous." I waited nervously for her reaction.

.

She bit the inside of her lip and nodded after a moment. "I've had a bad feeling about her. I thought it was her personality. You know? We just clash. We always have." She sighed. Suzie had treated Tosh with poorly veiled distain since the first time they'd met.

.

"I know what you mean," I sympathized; it was hard watching Suzie and Tosh interact. Their clashes invariably left her feeling unworthy and at times less than human. "But it's more than that," I insisted. "I've been tracking her Retcon usage. She takes some every week when she goes out on Thursday night. There's something not right about that."

.

"Really? Have you told Jack?" Her eyes brightened and narrowed at the mere suggestion of evidence to support our suspicions.

.

I shook my head. "No. She's his second. He totally trusts her. I need to bring him proof before I accuse her of anything."

.

She considered, hesitated then said, "I'm not so sure about that. I don't think he trusts her as much as you think. And if we had proof … I think he'd believe us." She started to pace, a finger tapped her lip in time with her thoughts.

.

My eyebrows shot up. "So, let's get some proof." And when she nodded I added. "We'll follow her tomorrow night."

.

We followed her for the next couple of Thursday nights. We recorded what we saw and once she'd left we checked the place out and collected some pamphlets about the Pilgrim group. Tosh worked out that it was a support group and I played dumb. If Tosh gathered the proof it would lend more weight to our findings in the end. I suggested that we record her conversation using the long distance _alien-spy-gadget-thingy_ Tosh liked to play with. It was eye-opening to say the least.

.

Tosh wanted to go to Jack immediately once she'd realized Suzie was divulging Torchwood secrets and Retconning her so-called-friend Max each and every week and had been for years. But I convinced her we should document several weeks if not more. I wanted to catch her trying to plant her murderous triggers in the act. We continued going together as often as we could. We made a big show of our regular Thursday night dates at the hub to explain our joint absences. We'd pick up take-out and eat in the car or in a park. It became a pleasant ritual albeit one that was shrouded in deceitful spying and predacious intent.

.

After all was said and done, Tosh performed an unprecedented feat of data synthesis which once compiled made it perfectly clear to the intended reader [i.e. Jack] that Suzie was up to absolutely no good. We assembled our presentation and waited until Thursday night when Suzie wouldn't be around before we met with Jack.

.

He was seriously miffed; after he got over the shock and denial that is. He didn't want to believe it of her; he couldn't. If it was true and he _had _misjudged her so badly, he'd suspect his judgement in all other respects as well. If his ability to read people was diminished then he just didn't know who he was. Jack took it hard.

.

"Fuck," was all he said at first. He'd read, reread and then read again. He'd scoured every single piece of evidence for a flaw; something that would exonerate her. Then his eyes went cold and steely and his shoulders hardened. He sat back in his chair and closed his eyes as if he were trying to block out the pain of betrayal.

.

"Jack, I'm sorry," said Tosh before she stood up and walked out of his office leaving us alone.

.

"How long have you suspected?" His voice was still angry but more resigned than it had been.

.

I sighed and flinched inwardly. "A while," I admitted. "But I had no proof," I explained quickly. "You wouldn't have believed me without it and we both know it," I insisted.

.

His eyes remained closed and he looked to be in pain. He ran his palms over his face and then ran them through his hair leaving it messed and standing on end. "I know. I just wish …" he shook his head and grimaced leaving his wish unspoken.

.

"What can I do for you Jack?" I so wanted to ease his pain. I stood up and moved behind him. I placed my hands lightly on his shoulders. He groaned and rested the back of his head on my stomach but his eyes remained shut. I massaged his shoulders and cajoled his tense and abused muscles a fraction nearer to relaxation.

.

"Thank you," he said after a few moments. "Tell me how you knew. I didn't have a clue and I've known her for years. You've known her a month. Am I really such a bad judge of character?" He begged me to reassure him.

.

"She's been acting paranoid and erratic." I told him the same thing I'd told Tosh. It had been enough for her but when he opened his eyes, the glint there told me his _bullshit-radar_ was raising a red flag. "Sometimes, I know things Jack and I won't be able to tell you how. I need you to trust me. Trust that my intentions are good. I am loyal to you. I won't betray you. I swear it."

.

He stared at me intently searching my face; my eyes for any signs of deception. He found none, as there weren't any to find. He simply nodded but the qualification was clear: okay _**for now**_.

.

I hadn't been able to find evidence of her mental tampering; the triggers she'd implanted in the event of her death. Even so, Max was a potential time-bomb that Jack needed to diffuse. "Jack, there's another thing. I know there's no proof here of it but she's done something else."

.

He raised an eyebrow and sighed in resignation. "Go on," he prompted.

.

"She's implanted some subliminal messages … some triggers in this guy Max. In the event of her death he goes on a murder spree in our name." I nodded at his incredulous look. "I know. Insane. She's got a long game planned. She's also done something to the hub security program. It's hidden. We'd need Tosh to search for it specifically. It's a secret way to lock down the hub. It's a spoken cue – a poem actually. I have no idea how it works just that it does and it's fucking dangerous." I drew a long steadying breath in anticipation of his forthcoming disbelief.

.

It wasn't as forthcoming as I'd thought. I got nothing from him for a full minute – just mute shock. "Shit," he said. He slumped forward and rested his head in his hands. "What else?" he asked.

.

"Well …" I began, "you know that metal gauntlet she's been experimenting with?"

.

"Oh, for Christ's sake!" he swore. Then he listened and I told him a little about the glove and the knife. It had been dredged up out of Cardiff Bay years ago, plunked down on a shelf and long forgotten but a few months ago Tosh had begun tinkering with artifacts in search of useful alien tech. Suzie had taken an immediate liking to _the glove_ as she called it and hadn't put it down since. As far as Jack knew she hadn't figured it out yet which meant she probably hadn't embarked on her murderous rampage as of yet. But it was only a matter of time; I had no doubt about that.

.

Jack seemed more stoic by the moment. Something had clicked in his eyes; he became more distant, more detached. His eyes flickered over the photos and transcripts; he grimaced and clenched his fists. "Dammit Suzie! What the hell's wrong with you?" he demanded of her photo in a frustrated voice.

.

"Jack, I'm so sorry. I …" I tried to soothe.

.

"You're sure?" he implored.

.

I nodded and I told him I was. "If I wasn't sure I would never have come to you."

.

He sighed, looked resigned once more and said, "okay then" and slapped the file shut.

.

"What do you want me to do?" I asked.

.

"Find this guy Max. We need him under wraps. We'd need to wipe his programming."

.

Apparently, poor Max would be getting regressed back to preschool and a nice long vacation at the local mental hospital. Tosh would set out in search of the wayward shut-down command programming first thing tomorrow and new security protocols would be set-up as well.

.

As for Suzie, well he hadn't decided how to deal with her just yet. I left him alone after a time so he could deal with her betrayal in his own way. I went home and had the longest, hottest shower I'd had in weeks. It didn't help any. I tried to fall asleep but my mind was reeling with images of Suzie.

.

Every _disturbingly – brilliant - psychotic_ plan she'd ever orchestrated. Suzie was a brilliant yet terrifying serial killer and she had a long dark game that many a criminal mastermind would be envious of.

.

Suddenly, light flared from my night stand obliterating the pitch black of my room. I'd received a text. Very few people would text me at two am and only one was expected tonight. Jack was outside and wanted to come over.

.

I typed my reply telling him to come right up. _What the hell_, I thought. I wasn't sleeping anyway; might as well have some company.

.

I opened the door, thinking I'd beat him to the knock but he'd been standing there already. For how long, I had no idea. He looked miserable and exhausted. "Come in," I said.

.

"Thank you." He tried to smile but the muscles around his mouth would not obey.

.

I took his coat and hung it up. Then I pushed him gently into the kitchen and told him to sit. I made coffee because everything is better with a good cup of coffee. And even if it was a hollow gesture I thought, _it couldn't hurt_.

.

"So, have you decided?" I asked while I busied myself.

.

"I think so." He was hesitant.

.

"I couldn't sleep either," I told him. "I've been thinking about all the terrible things she could do."

.

He took the mug of liquid kindness with both hands, took a deep swallow, sighed reverently and then whispered his thanks. "This is wonderful, thank you."

.

"You're welcome, Jack. I'm glad you're here. We might as well be sleepless together." I said lightly. I waited. I'd set him up for a well-earned jibe; a sexual innuendo at the very least. I waited, yet he said nothing. I tried again. "So it seems you've found a way inside my flat after all."

.

"Hmm? Oh, yes. Sorry. Distracted." He was drowning in sorrow.

.

"What do you want to do Jack?" I asked him pointedly.

.

"We need to pick her up a.s.a.p." he said firmly. "I'll get Tosh on hub security first thing." He paused to consider. "We'll need Owen. _Dammit_. We need to keep an eye on her. Don't want her coming in too early. We have no idea what she's done to the hub. She could've done anything. All this time. I never thought. I am the worst boss in the Solar System. _I am aren't I_?"

.

"Yep. Pretty terrible," I deadpanned.

.

"You're a cruel bastard. You know that?" he whined.

.

"Absolutely," I agreed quickly, flippantly. Jack did not need any help punishing himself so I didn't let him dwell on these self-abusive thoughts. He needed help. He'd come to me so I gave him what he needed: a prod and a sounding-board. "Listen, I'll keep an eye on Suzie. You go to the hub and organize things from there. How about that?"

.

He smiled weakly and nodded in agreement. "Keep your coms on."

.

"I've only got my phone. I'm afraid I left my coms on my desk." I hadn't been expecting field work tonight and I'd come home unprepared.

.

He frowned. He wasn't wearing his com either. "Keep your phone on and call in regularly," he insisted.

.

"I will," I assured him.

.

"I've got a scanner in the SUV. I'll leave it with you. It can detect heat signatures at a distance," he explained. "You'll be able to tell if she wakes up."

.

"Sounds good. I'll get some sleep for a couple of hours and then I'll head over."

.

When he left he had a bit more energy and he seemed more determined. He sent a text to Tosh and Owen telling them they'd need to be in early the next day for a special project. He also sent one to Suzie telling her she wasn't needed until around ten am.

.

.

* * *

><p><em>TW Ianto's Journal TW Ianto's Journal TW<em>

* * *

><p><em>November 26, 2005<em>

_._

_Shit! Shit! Shit! It's time. In just a few hours Suzie's going down. He believed me. He came to my flat looking for ? I don't know. An ear? A shoulder? But he came to me. I think he needs me. He's so disappointed – so sad. I know he cared for her. Did I do this out of spite? I don't think so. Just had to ask it of myself. I was jealous of her – at first. When I thought he wanted her – cared for her – loved her even. But he didn't or couldn't. I haven't decided yet. Maybe he can't love anyone – yet. Maybe he needs more bad shit to happen to him before he can love again. Oh Gods, I hope not. _

_._

_Suzie … what's going to happen to her? A bullet maybe. Not Retcon – that's too easy – too much like forgiveness. He won't forgive her. I don't think. I hope he doesn't because she's dangerous. I don't want her around. She too far gone. I sound like a fucking megalomaniac. I am not a god. I do not get to be judge, jury and executioner. I am not that person. I am not!_

_._

_**To do**__: sleep you fool, remember who you are._

_._

_**Not to do**__: don't turn your back on her. _

* * *

><p><em>TW Ianto's Journal TW Ianto's Journal TW<em>

* * *

><p>.<p>

.

_**Continued in … 11 – The Long Dark Teatime of Suzie's Soul**_

_**.**_


	20. C11 Long Dark Teatime of Suzie's Soul

**_11 – The Long Dark Teatime of Suzie's Soul_**

**W/C:** 5387  
><strong>Warningsspoilers/content**: some rude language, reference to TW 1.8 They Keep Killing Suzie  
><strong>Summary<strong>: Suzie gets what she deserves.  
><strong>Characters<strong>: Ianto, immortal-Jack, Tosh, Owen, Suzie  
><strong>Ianto's New Timeline<strong>: November 28, 2005

* * *

><p>.<p>

.

Owen had just hung up his coat and turned on his computer when Jack walked part way down the medical bay stairs. "Owen, I need you to prepare a syringe. A quick-acting, long-lasting sedative. Enough to knock out an adult female; about 54 kilograms. And I need it yesterday."

.

"Alright. Got just the thing. Gimme a minute." He'd been in the middle of logging onto his computer so he hadn't yet looked up from the screen. But when he did he took in Jack's tense stance and steely gaze. "Alright … coming right up."

.

After he'd made eye-contact with Owen and ensured a response he'd swiftly turned around and made to leave but then he stopped mid-stride, turned and added, "better make it two, just to be safe."

.

"Who …' he started to ask who the intended target was but Jack had disappeared as fast as he had appeared. Annoyed, Owen chose to mutter to himself instead. "Fine …. Don't worry 'bout me. Just the bloody Doctor me."

.

Jack went directly to Tosh. "Tosh, I need you to do something for me and I need you to not ask any questions. This is important." He spoke firmly, using his _Boss_ voice.

.

"Of course, Jack." She agreed quickly.

.

"I need you to change all access codes to the hub immediately. You'll need to lock Suzie out of everything including remote access. And I need you to do it right now. Cancel everything."

.

She stared open-mouthed; shocked for a full ten seconds but then she nodded and went straight to work.

.

"After you've changed all the codes I need you to do a search for an audio prompt – it's probably recent – that sends the hub into automatic lock-down. Ianto can help you with the details."

.

Her fingers flew deftly across the keyboard jumping from screen to open screen. "An audio prompt? Jack I've never–"

.

"–Suzie … wrote it and hid it … somewhere. I can't explain right now," he said apologetically.

.

"I understand." Her mind was reeling. She'd expected him to reprimand Suzie certainly … but this … she hadn't expected this. "Where's Ianto?"

.

"Surveillance." He said shortly.

.

"Ahh." she realized.

.

"I've got what you asked for Jack. Mind telling me what this is about?" Owen stomped up the stairs, still frowning from the earlier insult.

.

"Can't right now Owen," Jack retorted. "Need to know only for the time being."

.

"Alright. Need me to do anything else or was that it?" Owen bit off the words. "Can I go back to sleep now?" he asked petulantly.

.

"I also need …" he sighed, "something … liquid. Something undetectable that I can put in a drink. Again it needs to be really fast-acting."

.

He considered. "Not Retcon I take it?"

.

He shook his head. "No, just a sedative."

.

He turned around and headed back for the medical bay scratching his head.

.

"He doesn't know does he?" she whispered.

.

"No," he answered.

.

"I think they're having a fling." Tosh told him after a beat.

.

"Shit. I didn't know that," he said under his breath.

.

"It's recent," she clarified.

.

He stepped closer to her desk. "Does he know about Pilgrim?"

.

"I don't think so, Jack." She met his gaze.

.

Jack thought of Owen, considered his options. "Think he's gonna be a problem?"

.

She shrugged. "Don't know," she admitted.

.

He took out his phone and dialed my number. "Anything?" he asked when I picked up.

.

"Nothing. Completely dark. Heat sensor shows she's still asleep." I stifled a yawn.

.

"Okay. I may need you here. We have a complication," he added.

.

"What's happened?" I could hear the tension in Jack's voice.

.

Jack walked up to his office before he answered. "Owen and Suzie have been having an affair. I don't know what he's gonna do."

.

"Should I come now? He'll back her Jack, I know it. You need to give him no choice. Trust me on this." I thought of Owen's willfulness, his potential for betrayal.

.

He exhaled sharply. "I agree. I'll need you back here as soon as Tosh has locked her out."

.

After a moment another thought came to mind. "Or … we could take her while she's still asleep…" I suggested tentatively.

.

"Hhhmmmmm," he considered, "that might work." He stood up and ran down the stairs. "Hold on," he muttered into the phone. "Tosh … how long?"

.

"Just about done. Just two more to go." She was working frantically.

.

"Remote?" Jack queried.

.

"Already done," she confirmed.

.

"Plan B looks good," he told me.

.

"Hold on." I checked the monitor. "She's moving," I announced.

.

"Is she up?" Jack tensed and met Tosh's nervous eyes.

.

"No, just … she just rolled over. Looks like she's awake though. What do you want me to do?" I was starting to vibrate from anxiety.

.

"Stay there," he commanded. "We're coming to you. I'll go in, jab her, you two are back up."

.

"And Owen?" I was worried about his reaction.

.

"He'll stay here and I'll deal with him when we get back."

.

"See you soon then." I said in confirmation.

.

"Ya, see you in …" He checked his wrist-strap. "Twenty."

.

Tosh knocked at the door and he waved her in. "Good. Is it done?"

.

"Yes, she's completely blocked out. But I couldn't find the program you were talking about." Tosh was frustrated and embarrassed that she couldn't find the shut-down program. She was supposed to be the technological wizard.

.

"That's okay," he assured her. "We've got some time. Does Owen know?"

.

"No, not from me." She scowled.

.

"Do ya think he overheard?" Jack stood and walked over to stand next to her.

.

"I don't think so." She bit her lip and looked up into his eyes, looking for reassurance.

.

He nodded. "You and I are going to her flat. Ianto's already there. Once we get there, I'll go in." He stood in front of her, his hands on her biceps. "I'll sedate her or subdue her and I'll need you two to back me up." He looked into her eyes deeply, looking for understanding, loyalty and something he wasn't able to define. "We'll need to transport her back here."

.

"What about Owen? He's not going to be cooperative." Her gaze flicked towards the med bay.

.

"I'll handle Owen," he promised. "I need you to get a dart gun and a stun gun for each of us."

.

"We're not going kill her right?" Tosh asked hopefully.

.

"This is a non-lethal capture." His voice was steely.

.

She nodded. She trusted him.

.

"I need a moment to deal with Owen and then I'll meet you at the SUV."

.

"Right." She scurried off. Tosh skitted back to her desk grabbed her coat and then went right to the weapons locker.

.

Owen was on his way up to Jack's office just as he was collecting his greatcoat. "Owen, I'll need you to arrange medical transport for our prisoner. She'll need to be sedated the whole time. Tosh and I are going to pick her up. But while we're gone I need you to get us a van or something. We'll need a wheelie bed with restraints and a portable IV for the sedative. We're taking the prisoner to another facility."

.

"Where am I supposed to get a van?" Owen whined.

.

"Be resourceful but be quick," Jack quipped.

.

Jack was down the stairs and out the door before Owen could get another question out.

.

Tosh was waiting for him in the SUV. She was nervous and jumpy. "Jack, how do you know she's played with the security protocols?"

.

"Ianto's got proof." The certainty in his voice reassured her.

.

"Oh, I see."

.

Neither spoke for the duration of the trip. When they pulled up behind my nondescript two-door Toyota hatchback the street was quiet and Suzie's flat was still dark.

.

I slid into the backseat of the SUV and Tosh passed me a stun-gun. Jack explained the plan. "I'll knock at the door and wait until she opens it. I'll jab her as soon as she turns her back. You two remain close but out of sight. We'll need to do a quick sweep of her flat; collect anything Torchwood related. We'll come back later and do a more thorough job. For now I just want her under control. And as I told you Tosh she's programmed a verbal cue that locks down the hub so she'll need to be unconscious while she's in a cell. I've got Owen arranging transport; he doesn't know it's her though so we're going to have to deal with him when the time comes. I may need some backup if he fights this but I suspect he'll come around eventually."

.

"So, you jab her, I help you carry her and Tosh sweeps the flat?"

.

They all nodded in agreement. "Let's go," said Jack tersely.

.

He knocked at the door and waited for her to answer. I still had her on the hand-held infrared motion detector so I saw when she got out of bed. "She's up," I whispered into the private com channel.

.

Jack had a loaded syringe in each pocket. His emotions were in turmoil but he was an expert at compartmentalizing and he did what was needed even when no one else would. She opened the door with an owlish scowl and grunted at Jack. "You said I could come in late," she complained.

.

"I know. I need to talk to you," he said quietly.

.

"Oh, okay. Come in." She held the door open for him and he walked in. "You want some tea?" she asked.

.

"Ya, that'd be good." He waited for her to turn, his hand was wrapped around the syringe, and the cap was off. He stepped forward and jabbed the syringe into her neck while at the same time he wrapped a powerful arm around the front of her throat and pulled her against his chest. She struggled and screeched in alarm. His only words were whispered in her ear. "I'm so sorry Suzie."

.

She collapsed unconscious within moments and he let her limp body fall gently to the floor. "She's down," he announced into the com.

.

Tosh and I stood frozen around the corner and when our eyes met remorse and fear were all that showed. "On our way," declared Tosh.

.

"Get her a … some clothes would you Tosh?" He hadn't counted on her being half dressed.

.

"Sure." She strode quickly across Suzie's flat. She went through her wardrobe and found a selection of warm loose clothing. She dressed her with my help in the hallway where she'd fallen. Jack had taken it upon himself to do the sweep for tech. He unplugged everything electronic and closed the curtains as he checked each room. Suzie would not be coming back here again. He handed the items he'd collected to Tosh and motioned for me to take an end. We carried Suzie to the backseat of the SUV and then I followed them back to the hub in my own car.

.

Owen hadn't returned yet when we got back so we carried her to one of the cells and laid her on the steel bench. Jack gagged her and tied her hands and feet together for good measure before locking the door behind her.

.

"You two, I need you armed and ready when Owen gets back. I'll talk to him in the conference room. I'll show him the evidence and hope he sees reason but if he balks too much he'll have to be restrained." Jack spoke quickly and deliberately as we walked briskly up the stairs back towards the main floor of the hub.

.

Once we reached the main level we stood in a huddle while Jack gave us our assignments. "Tosh I need you to search Suzie's desk, her computer here and her laptop. Ianto I need you to search for Owen's piece or pieces more like it. Make sure there aren't any weapons lying around. I don't want to have to shoot him. I will if he pulls a gun. So let's make sure he doesn't have access to any weapons shall we."

.

We darted off to complete our appointed tasks and Jack dragged his feet back up to his office. He had a phone call to make, one that he dreaded making.

.

We'd found two pistols hidden in the medical bay and one in Suzie's desk. Both Tosh and I were armed with a handgun and a stun-gun for good measure and when the cog door announced his arrival all three of us went on alert.

.

Jack stood at the top of the stairs and shouted, "Owen, conference room."

.

Owen tossed his leather jacket over the metal railing that ran around the medical bay and jogged up the stairs. Tosh and I followed behind him at a distance.

.

"Have a seat. It's time that you know what's going on." Jack spoke in metered tones, using his _Boss_ voice once again.

.

"S'about time," he complained.

.

"I need you to listen and I need you to think before you react." Jack stood at attention in front of the long table; his chilling gaze sent a warning shot over Owen's bow.

.

Owen frowned, confused and just looked at him. He moved to across the table from Jack, where a place had been set up for him.

.

Tosh and I took our positions at either end of the table, our chairs pushed out for easy access.

.

His clever and observant eyes surveyed the scene. "What's going on?" he asked suspiciously.

.

"It's Suzie," declared Jack.

.

"What about her?" he asked still confused.

.

Jack slid the file containing photos, transcripts and other pieces of evidence across the table towards Owen. He stopped its slide with his hand and quickly opened it up. He gaped at the contents, his eyes jumping from one photo to the next, still not sure what to make of it all. Then he stopped and stared at the transcript of her conversation with Max and comprehension dawned in his eyes. Finally, Owen looked up at Jack and he looked afraid.

.

He stood up abruptly and Tosh and I responded by training our weapons on him. He stopped moving and held his hands up in alarm.

.

"Woh! Take it easy guys." There was a slight quaver to his voice.

.

"Sit down please," asked Jack very quietly.

.

He nodded and sat down slowly. "You don't need to point those at me. I'm not going to do anything," he assured them.

.

But Jack wasn't convinced. So he asked bluntly, "Are you having an affair with her?"

.

Owen reacted with surprise to the question but after a moment he sighed and confessed, "We've had sex a few times, that's all. That's no reason to shoot me. Is it?"

.

"I'm concerned about your loyalties," Jack explained.

.

"What?" Owen scowled. "If you say she's guilty-"

.

"-She is." Jack cut him off mid-sentence.

.

"Alright, then I believe you." His hands were still held up in submission.

.

Jack made a quick assessment and tested the waters. "I need her sedated. She's compromised our security system. She's programmed a verbal shut down command and we haven't been able to disable it yet."

.

"What the fuck? Why would she do that?" Owen was outraged and so completely confused.

.

"She's done a lot more than that," Jack began. "And I have no idea why." He threw up his hands in frustration. "She's dangerous; to us, to others and herself."

.

Owen had made his own assessment. Jack was the boss and the evidence was damming. "What are you going to do with her? Are you going to kill her?" he asked in a very business-like tone. It was amazing how he could simply detach himself from the reality of a situation sometimes; a useful skill in times of crisis and not just in the medical profession.

.

Jack nodded as he recognized the subtle shift in Owen's demeanor. "No. She's to be imprisoned. She's committed treason, she's planning murder and she's been brainwashing some guy to go on a serial killing rampage in the event of her death. She's going away for the rest of her life. But we still have to clean up after her." Jack pulled on his protective mantle. His mind shifted and assumed a familiar stance; that of a Torchwood operative on a mission.

.

Owen sat there, shocked with disbelief. "What the fuck?" He said it more to himself than anything.

.

Everyone took a breath and the tension in the room ratcheted down one notch. "Did you get the van and the bed?" Jack asked.

.

Owen nodded. "Ya, it's in the lot next to the SUV."

.

He narrowed his eyes and asked the million-dollar-question. "Owen, are you able to do your job?

.

Owen nodded again. "Of course," he insisted. "And you don't need to keep me under guard. I had sex with her. I made a mistake; an error in judgement. I'm not going to try and free her."

.

Jack looked at Tosh and then at me and simply nodded for us to put our guns away.

.

"Okay. I need an IV in her and then she needs to be restrained securely to the bed. We'll be taking the van. I want everyone ready to go in fifteen."

.

Once Jack had left the room Owen looked at us and asked, "where is she?"

.

"In the cells," explained Tosh.

.

"We'll need to carry her back up here so I can set up the IV properly."

.

"Right, I'll help you carry her. Tosh do you mind coming along?" I wanted backup just in case he changed his mind. Owen could be tricky.

.

"Of course." She agreed distractedly. Her eyes were following Jack as he made his way up to his office.

.

I was still wary of Owen's loyalty so I let him go first. When he approached the cell he swore loudly. "Fuck me. She trussed up like a pig,"

.

"We didn't know how long the sedative would last and she has to be gagged." Tosh explained a little defensively.

.

I opened the door and Owen went in first. "It should last about four hours. When was she injected?"

.

"About two hours ago," I told him.

.

"Let's get her up to the medical bay."

.

Between the two us we managed to carry her up the steep concrete steps. We placed her on the wheelie bed and bound her wrists and ankles to the steel side rails with wide Velcro straps.

.

Owen dutifully set up the IV drip that would keep her unconscious for the duration of the drive. "Where are we taking her?" he finally asked.

.

"I'm not sure." I admitted. "He said he had to make arrangements. It looks like he's on the phone again," I added.

.

Tosh, Owen and I watched from across the silent hub as Jack carefully placed the phone he'd been talking on back on the cradle. He looked up just then and locked eyes with Tosh. He looked so sad, so … sorry.

.

Tosh gasped. "Oh my God … _no_."

.

Owen was on alert and reacted quickly. He spun around until he stood in front of her; his face full of concern. "What? What Tosh? What is it?" he demanded; the urgency in his voice was unmistakable.

.

She gulped and her eyes sought out Suzie's motionless form. When she spoke her voice was quiet and fearful. "He's giving her to UNIT."

.

Owen was shocked; he swore loudly. "No. No fucking way."

.

"There's nowhere else," I murmured quietly.

.

.

TW**X**DW

.

.

We followed as Jack rolled an unconscious Suzie strapped to a hospital bed towards the main entrance. Once Tosh had realized where we were headed she'd begun to tremble. Her eyes were wide with fear and she moved as if in a trance. Jack had said she could stay behind but she'd refused, saying she had to see _this_ through.

.

By _'this'_ she meant _'see Suzie thrown into a tiny cement prison'_ where she would waste away and ultimately die – probably insane – more insane than she already was.

.

Owen was saddened, pale and sweaty. He said little.

.

I followed. I moved. I nodded when appropriate. I pushed. I helped. I opened the door. I signed the form. I did not speak. I could not. For with all the thoughts that raged and battled in my clattering mind I could not find my voice. All my energies were dedicated to thought and basic movement. I had nothing left.

.

She had committed crimes certainly; _treason even_. But she hadn't killed – yet. She was being locked away in a hell hole forever. Should I have waited until her first kill? Would that make it better? Was one life enough to make this horrific punishment justifiable?

.

I couldn't see clearly. I had felt so justified in accusing her of treason, of betraying Torchwood secrets, of abusing her powers, of drugging – no injuring an innocent man so badly he would never recover, brainwashing him, creating a killer. These were horrible crimes, _yes_ but she hadn't actually murdered anyone – _yet_.

.

They say you don't quit Torchwood. You either get a nice bullet to the head or a colossal dose of Retcon; dead or an imaginary life. Those are your only two options.

.

She was lucky right? She wasn't being summarily executed. That would have been expected. Retcon would have been a gift.

.

But she could never be trusted. The resources needed to ensure she never remembered would far exceed the benefits of keeping her alive.

.

Locking her up was the only other option.

.

We couldn't keep her at the hub. We hadn't found her program yet. She was too much of a threat. She couldn't be trusted. A unit prison cell was the only other alternative.

.

Owen had removed the IV drip and given her a shot of something that would gradually wake her up. Then they took her. They took her clothes. They dressed her in orange overalls.

.

She'd been placed in the centre of the cell on the hard, cold, unforgiving cement floor. It was small, dark and dank. I couldn't imagine living in such a small, cold box for the rest of my life.

.

We'd been given leave to interrogate her at our discretion so we sat outside her new cell and we waited. Tosh shook uncontrollably. Jack wrapped an arm protectively around her slight body and was murmuring soothing words to calm her. It wasn't working.

.

Owen paced. He muttered angrily to himself. He threw dark angry glances at each of us and then at Suzie.

.

I couldn't decide what to do. I sat mostly, right next to Tosh on her other side on the long steel bench anchored to the floor with huge rusted bolts.

.

We could see Suzie's unmoving body through a narrow slit in the door. The slit was a feeding slot; a horizontal slash in the otherwise impenetrable door. And that narrow slash would be able only source of light she'd see for a long time.

.

Tosh whispered, "Sometimes they let you walk in another room, if you're very good. There's a window and the light seems so bright when you haven't seen it for weeks …" she drifted off. Her voice caught in her throat.

.

Jack gripped her more tightly. He was suffering too. I could tell by the tightly clenched muscles in his face; by the flatness of his eyes. They spoke of loss and regret and guilt. He'd lost his friend, his ex-lover and his trusted second in command in one fell swoop. _He should have known_. He kept saying it over and over again.

.

He was trying to steel himself, to remain _cold - heartless - relentless_ but I could see his heart was breaking into a million tiny jagged pieces.

.

_The guilt was unbearable._ A bullet might have been kinder than this. This was horrible and she wasn't even awake yet. Was he feeling guilty because he wasn't strong enough to pull the trigger? She would suffer here and we all knew it. The guilt would eat away at us all but especially at Jack. It would eat away at him for all eternity or at least until he found a way to forget. It would linger though until something worse came along to take its place. After all, the brain has a finite amount of storage, you can't hold on to every little horrible thing you've ever done. Eventually, everything fades. He could only hope this one faded faster than most.

.

_But __**I**__ was entirely responsible_. If I hadn't started this we might have been sharing a pint and a pizza at some pub or in the bowels of the hub after a long day's work. We'd never share a drink again. Not with Suzie. Not ever again.

.

She began to stir. She moaned and tried to sit up too quickly but found herself back on the floor swearing loudly in pain for her troubles. "Where the fuck am I?" she demanded. "Jack!" she shouted. She crawled to the door on hands and knees and then began hammering with her fists and demanding answers. "Jack, you bastard! What have you done?"

.

Jack took a deep breath and stood. As he moved towards the door he transformed himself by the sheer force of his own will into the strong, confident Captain we'd come to depend on. "We know about Pilgrim Suzie," he declared. "We know all about Max – what you've done to him. It's over."

.

"What the fuck are you talking about?" she screamed in frustration kicking and banging against the unyielding metal door. "Let me out!" she cried.

.

"You aren't going anywhere. This is your new home. So get used to it. We know about the shut-down program and all about your sick brain-washing scheme. But what I don't get is what you were trying to achieve?"

.

She giggled maniacally. "Immortality Jack. Immortality" She gasped and then giggled hysterically as if she'd just realized the seriousness of her situation.

.

"Suzie, what _**the hell**_ are you talking about?" He bellowed and the sound of his voice bounced down the long dark hallway. Jack was frustrated and confused.

.

"The glove. She's figured it out." I explained. I stood up and moved closer to him.

.

"_**I did**_." She declared it proudly. "And it's incredible. I can bring the dead back to life. It's a _**miracle**_." She announced in a breathless devotional tone usually reserved for the fervent religious fanatic or the slightly insane.

.

"It's no miracle," he scoffed.

.

"_**It is**_," she insisted. "It's a gift from god. I'm _**chosen**_ to raise the dead. I just have to practice. I can bring them back Jack." Her eyes were glazed. "I can bring them all back. Let me out …" she slammed up against the door. " … I have so much work to do!"

.

"You're insane." He spoke the words so quietly.

.

"_**I'm blessed**_!" she shouted.

.

"She's completely mad," whispered Tosh.

.

"I can't believe I didn't see this coming," whispered Owen.

.

"You're not the only one. I certainly didn't see this side of her. I had no idea." Tosh was standing next to Owen now. They were commiserating their utter ignorance.

.

Jack looked at them both, obviously having heard their whispers and said, "She's a good liar. _A master_." And I saw the anger bubble up again and his eyes were hazed by the hot surge of it.

.

"Thank goodness we caught this when we did. It could've been so much worse." I spoke in low tones as well.

.

"Oh you pissants have no idea what I'm capable of! You'll never come close. _**I'm chosen**_!" She was shouting now; infuriated by our murmurings.

.

Jack turned to her and demanded, "Tell me about the shutdown programs." He spoke with the power of authority.

.

She smiled malevolently. "_**Never**_," she snarled.

.

Clearly, she couldn't be reasoned with or even reached. His fists were clenched and his jaw clamped shut, frustration and irritation had won out over patience so he turned. "We're done here. Say goodbye if you want to. This is your last chance." Then he strode towards the elevator.

.

Eyes wide and white with terror, Tosh ran after him. She wasn't staying behind without him. He was the only thing standing between her and a cell just like Suzie's. She never gave Suzie a second look.

.

"Good bye Suzie." I said. "I'm sorry."

.

"For what?" Her voice was dripping with distain.

.

"For everything." I said simply. But then I finished the apology in my head, _I'm sorry for everything you've got coming_. And then I walked away and caught up with Jack and Tosh at the elevator doors.

.

That left Owen standing alone in front of her door; he stood defeated, raw and resigned. He shook his head side to side dismally. "I wish I could've helped you."

.

"You can't. You don't understand." She turned away from him and began pacing like the caged animal she was.

.

"I know. I see that now. I cared for you. And I'm sorry. Goodbye Suzie." His voice broke off at the end and he turned quickly so she couldn't see his face.

.

"No! Owen!" She'd slammed up against the door again, her face pushed up against the feeding slot. "_**Don't leave me**_!" She screamed. "I have work to do!" She started banging her hands and fists against the immovable steel door. "I'm chosen! I am the hand of god!"

.

She'd screamed in frustration. She'd screamed in anger. Her screams had followed him down the hall. And even after they'd left the building they'd lingered and echoed in the amphitheater of his mind. Owen would always be haunted by Suzie's final pleas.

.

As soon as they got back to the hub Jack had rounded them up and led them over to the nasty sofa. They plopped down in exhaustion and waited for the pep talk that was sure to come.

.

"We've lost a team member today," he began. "A friend. She's gone. As good as dead." He looked at their shocked faces when he said that. It needed to be said. That's what he did. He said and did the things that no one else could or would. That's what he did.

.

"And I'm sad," he admitted. "I'll miss her." He closed his eyes and emotions distorted his features. His lips curved upwards slightly into a smile and then abruptly reversed into a frown no doubt remembering a private moment with Suzie. Better times. But the smile was fleeting. She was gone.

.

"We don't have time to stop and feel sad right now." He pressed on. "We have to take care of each other. We have to protect ourselves and people like Max from this threat and we have to clean up Suzie's mess. So let's get to work." He smiled grimly, stood up, patted Tosh on the shoulder and walked purposefully off towards his office.

.

.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Continued in … 12 – Finding Perspective<strong>_


	21. C12 Finding Perspective

**_12 – Finding Perspective  
><em>**

**W/C:** 3616  
><strong>Warningsspoilers/content**: profanity and sap  
><strong>Summary<strong>: The team tries to clean up Suzie's mess.  
><strong>Characters<strong>: Ianto, immortal-Jack, Tosh, Owen, 9th Doctor, mentions of Max  
><strong>Ianto's New Timeline<strong>: December 1 - 3, 2005

* * *

><p>.<p>

.

**IN AN ATTEMPT TO MAKE MYSELF FEEL BETTER** I'd deluded myself into thinking that the worst was behind us. That however was not the case. Suzie had left a remarkable mess in her wake.

.

The next day I woke to a dreary damp world. It suited my mood perfectly. Today, we'd pack up all of Suzie's things and once we were done it'd be like she'd never existed. She'd just disappear off the grid.

.

Owen's day wouldn't be any better. He'd need to shadow Max and after the Pilgrim meeting he'd sedate him and bring him back to the hub. He'd be getting the largest possible dose of Retcon and his future looked anything but bright. Unfortunately for Max, he didn't have any family. He'd be committed for evaluation due to a made-up criminal insanity charge. It would be pushed through channels and no one would be the wiser. Max had made a fatal error befriending Suzie and would be paying for that kindness with his own incarceration. How many people had to pay for her delusions of grandeur? It wasn't fair. But life is not fair. Sometimes bad things happen to good people. He couldn't be allowed to roam freely if there were any chance that his inner serial killer might come out and play.

.

Tosh had her own hell to contend with. She'd refused to go home. She hadn't stopped working since we got back from UNIT. She wouldn't eat, drink or sleep. She was offended and she was supremely pissed off that she'd been one-upped by _anyone_ on her own turf. She'd searched through raw code and streams of data for twenty hours straight before she'd exploded in a dizzying fury.

.

We three, being intelligent men, had acted in the interests of self-preservation and had backed the hell off. We let her shout and rail at her uncooperative machine until some of her venom had been expelled. Once her beast had been thoroughly sated and an innocent keyboard had been sacrificed and paid with its life Jack had tentatively approached with a white flag of peace.

.

He'd constructed one with a pencil, a white tissue and a bit of tape. He'd approached her like a submissive wolf would an angry alpha female; tail wagging but not too high, head down, eyes averted, ears slightly down and back, with his body angled somewhat off-side. He dangled his pathetic art's 'n crafts make limply in his right hand and held a packet of her favorite chocolate chip cookies in the other.

.

"Permitted to approach?" he asked lightly.

.

"Granted," she half snarled. She'd seen his dramatic approach and had actually smiled for a moment. "That bad?" she asked.

.

"Oh, ya," he responded. He put the packet on her desk, pulled out her chair and spun her around. He leaned down in front of her and told her, "Eat these cookies, have a coffee and then go home. I don't want to hear it." He stopped her retort before she'd even started.

.

I chose that moment to deliver the coffee and she smiled at me. "Thank you," she mumbled. Her mouth was already full of cookies. She had to be famished and exhausted.

.

"I'll drive you home when you're ready. No arguments," he informed her.

.

"Yes, boss." Her shoulders sunk and she finally gave in.

.

Suzie's mess was nowhere near being cleaned up. It would take time and a whole lot of effort. Tomorrow, Tosh would resume her search for the illusive shut-down program, I would transport all of Suzie's things to storage and remove any official trace of her in the _real world_ and Owen would have Max committed. _Good times_.

.

Jack drove Tosh home and all but tucked her into bed. He forbade her from coming in before ten the next day.

.

While they were gone, I took a walk along the Plas and watched the sun dip into the sea. It blossomed into a fiery orange ball just before it sank out of sight. I sighed and felt the weight of the last few weeks come crashing down on me.

.

I needed to talk to someone, someone who'd understand so I took out my phone and pressed speed dial #42. I held my breath in anticipation. He answered after several rings sounding out of breath. "Hello, Doctor. It's Ianto. Is this a bad time?" I asked.

.

"Ianto? Is everything alright?" he asked. He was panting loudly but he sounded chipper enough.

.

"Yes, yes everything's fine. I … I just needed to talk to you." I felt foolish all of a sudden. I'd called the one man who was always busy; too busy for the likes of me.

.

"Great! I love to talk!" he declared exuberantly. "Tell me what's happened," he insisted.

.

"Well … there's this woman … Suzie … my coworker … my ex-coworker … and she's really crazy and violent and dangerous. She's done some bad things and she was going to do some really terrible things … so I … _uhm_ … nudged another coworker … Tosh … to investigate her. I let her collect the evidence and then we presented it to Jack and then we locked her up in prison."

.

"Wow. You've been busy. So why do you sound so unhappy? You caught the bad lady right?"

.

"Yes, we did."

.

"And she was bad … really bad right?" He was using his understanding teacher voice.

.

"Yes. She … hurt a man … brainwashed him to kill people and she was using this alien glove thing to bring back the dead. She was planning on killing some people just so she could bring them back to life too." I told him about Suzie's crimes as quickly and as simply as I could.

.

"Uhh hmmm." He considered my words carefully but kept quiet. His silence was nerve-wracking.

.

"The thing is … she hadn't killed them yet. She would have … she did before … you know _**before**_ before?" Suddenly I felt frantic. I was afraid that I'd made a mistake. I was terrified of what he might think of me.

.

"Oh, I _**seeeee**_," he said, drawing out the word as he typically did. "In the other timeline. She was a murderer and this time you stopped her from killing." Clever Doctor. He'd probably gleaned the gist of my conundrum before I'd begun to explain.

.

"Yes." I breathed out the word.

.

"But you feel bad because you put her in prison for a crime she hasn't committed yet?" He summed it up quite succinctly.

.

"Essentially. Ya. Oh … Doctor … have I done wrong?" I moaned. "You should see the place she's been locked up in. It's horrible. I _**feel **_horrible." I stood at the railing looking out at the tumbling sea, my emotions in turmoil.

.

"Now, now," he soothed. "Calm down. Did she commit a crime?" He spoke as he would to a child, kind and patient.

.

"Yes." I said simply.

.

"Did she confess?" he pressed.

.

"Yes, actually she did."

.

"And you're sure she was planning murder?"

.

"I am." Suddenly, I felt certain again. "She's mad … totally crazy."

.

"I think … if you _**didn't**_ feel bad about locking up your ex-coworker _**then**_ you should be worried. If you feel _**nothing**_ then we have a problem. But that's not the case here is it?" His lilting singsong voice wrapped around my soul like a healing balm.

.

"No, Sir." I sniffed.

.

"Well, then I've no doubt that you did the right thing," he said confidently.

.

"So the universe isn't going to implode?" I tried for levity.

.

"Oh dear I hope not. Let me check …." I heard the clank of a phone being set down and there was a short pause before he came back to the phone. "No_**p**_e!" he announced popping that _**p**_ and then continued, "Everything looks great!" he concluded.

.

I laughed – _finally_ – I hadn't smiled in days. "Thanks for checking. So do you have a special gadget that tells you if the universe is going to implode or explode today?" I asked teasingly.

.

"Yes, of course I do," he claimed and then he chuckled too.

.

"Thank you, Doctor. I really appreciate you taking the time to talk to me. I know how busy you are." I felt better already.

.

"Nonsense! You can call me anytime you like. I'm happy you called. Take care Ianto."

.

"You too. Take care Doctor." I pressed end and smiled at my phone before I slipped it into my pocket.

.

"So, how is he?" asked Jack from right behind me.

.

I spun around and slapped my hand to my chest trying to keep my heart from leaping out onto the Plas. "You scared the shit out of me!" I declared. I leaned over and placed my hands on my knees and continued panting.

.

He winced. "Sorry. Didn't mean to scare you. I saw you were talking on the phone so I just waited until you were done. I wasn't trying to eavesdrop … I just heard you say Doctor and it sounded like _**our**_ Doctor not just _**a**_ doctor," he explained.

.

I stood up having gotten control over my organs once more. "Yes, it was him. He's fine – he's great actually."

.

He smiled. "I forgot about him fixing your phone. I didn't realize you could still call him," he mused.

.

"It's only been a couple of months for me," I reminded him.

.

"Oh, ya." He shook his head. It had been so much longer for Jack. After the fiasco on Satellite-5 he'd been sent back in time to what must have felt like the Middle Ages compared to the future that he was from.

.

"Did you … want to call him?" I offered him the phone.

.

He smiled widely. "No, but thank you. I really appreciate that." He held out his hand and beckoned me forward. "Come on …"

.

I stepped forward and took his hand tentatively.

.

"Let's get something to eat," he suggested. "I'm buying."

.

"That sounds great. I'm famished," I admitted.

.

The chip shop was a favorite of ours but since we rarely ate in it made for a nice change. We ate heartily while we chatted about mundane things. But then Jack got quiet. He had something on his mind.

.

"So … mind if I ask what you talked to the Doctor about?" he asked uncomfortably.

.

I was a little surprised. I didn't think he would actually ask. I shrugged. "I wanted to talk to him about Suzie," I answered honestly.

.

He titled his head inquiringly. "What about Suzie?" He obviously had no idea how torn I was feeling.

.

I considered how I might explain for a moment. "I was concerned that I did the wrong thing."

.

"How so?" He paused mid chip insertion and looked at me with some confusion.

.

I sighed, _dog with a bone_, I thought. "She's in a hell hole – literally – a place we put murderers ya? Only she hasn't actually murdered anyone yet. There's only my word and her confession _after the fact_. I was worried that I was condemning her too harshly." The words rambled out.

.

"She got what she deserved." Jack had cold hard steel in his voice. It was brittle and final. He was trying to cut the cord that had tethered them. He wanted to mourn her less and hate her more. "What did he say?" he asked after a moment.

.

I wiggled my lips and wobbled my head. "Basically he said I _**should**_ feel terrible. If I didn't feel terrible then I should worry."

.

He snorted and nearly choked on a chip. "Sounds like him."

.

I nodded. _Ya, it was definitely Doctor Wisdom_, I mused. I'd also been worrying about the glove. I paused for a moment; deciding and then I changed the subject. "Jack, I think you should destroy the glove. It's not … it will only cause trouble and pain."

.

His shock was apparent and his eyes narrowed. "You mean the glove she was working on?"

.

I nodded.

.

"Destroy it? How, exactly?"

.

I swallowed nervously. "Shoot it, smash it, burn it; whatever it takes. Look, it was dumped by whoever owned it before probably because it's a curse not a blessing. It corrupts people. You saw Suzie. She may have been a bit off to start with but that thing drove her _batshit crazy_." I pleaded ardently for its destruction and I would continue to do so until it was a pile of dust.

.

He shrugged. "If you feel that strongly about it … then okay we'll destroy it." He needed surprisingly little convincing.

.

I nodded and sighed in relief. "Thank you, Jack."

.

He pursed his lips and then asked, "Why do you want it destroyed so badly? Do you think someone other than Suzie will use it?" On the surface, it sounded like he was asking my opinion but we both knew what he was really asking me. _Who is going to use it next? And what are they going to do with it?_

.

"Yes," I nodded gravely, "I do. It's too tempting. And it probably has some unexpected side effects if it's used … _incorrectly_. Most curses do." I matched his unblinking stare.

.

He drew a sharp breath and frowned in consternation as if he were trying to decode a secret message or solve a really tricky Sudoku puzzle. "Fine. We'll get rid of it tomorrow."

.

I nodded and stole the last chip. He pouted and took a deep pull on my pint to punish me which only made me grin.

.

We walked back to the hub together across the deserted Plas. He stopped suddenly and craned his neck to look up at the night's sky. The moon was a mere sliver, "An Artemis moon," he murmured. "What a beautiful sky." He sighed. "Do you ever look up Ianto?" he asked me wistfully.

.

"Of course. I've always been drawn to the stars. Some nights I lie on my balcony and just stare up at the sky. It really clears my head." My eyes angled up and my face relaxed.

.

He smiled and stepped closer to me. "I like that about you. You're a romantic." He grabbed my hand and pulled me along. "Come on … I want to show you something."

.

He took me up to the top of the bronzed domed roof of the Millennium Centre. He was still dragging me behind him; his grip was tight and never wavering making me feel like a little kid. Once we reached the dull, flat centre he let go of my hand. He sat down and arranged his coattails so that they lay straight in front of him. He reached out a hand and called to me, "Here … sit in front of me. I want to show you something."

.

I stood there a moment considering the wisdom of such an arrangement. I sighed and acquiesced. "Okay but don't make me regret this," I warned.

.

"You won't I promise," he said solemnly while still holding out his hand to me.

.

I sat in front of him on top of his thick woolen coat, my back to his chest. I tried to keep a respectable distance between our bodies but he wrapped both of his arms around my chest and pulled me towards him. "Jack," I whined pathetically.

.

"Just lean back and stop arguing. Lean against me and look up. Relax, it's not like I'm trying to undress you I'm just trying to show you our beautiful sky," he insisted.

.

I was tense and trying not to melt into his embrace. The view from up there was unmistakably better than the view from down on the Plas. "It's beautiful," I whispered.

.

"This is one of my favorite places. I don't usually bring anyone up here with me." His voice was soft and relaxed. He was different up here, unguarded. "It's usually my sanctuary, my escape from … life down there. I wanted to share this with you." He hugged me more tightly and I finally sank into him.

.

"Thank you, Jack." I was touched by his gesture. I felt warm and safe in his arms. He wrapped his coat around me more tightly. I may have been shivering but I couldn't feel the cold. My body was humming. I sighed and closed my eyes.

.

He rested his chin on my head and cuddled around me. I felt his fingers brush across the skin at my throat and I nearly purred. There weren't any thoughts clogging up my mind and that was a rare thing for me. My mind was clear of confusion and guilt. I just was. "Jack … "

.

"Mmmm?"

.

"This is really nice." I spoke softly not wanting to break the spell.

.

"It is," he agreed. "Thank you for joining me."

.

"You didn't really give me much of a choice," I joked lightly.

.

"You always have a choice Ianto," he countered in a more serious tone.

.

I opened my eyes and looked up at him. He was looking down at me not up at the sky.

.

"You're right," I agreed. "Being with you right now is a conscious choice," I admitted.

.

He blinked once, maybe twice then made a decision. "Are you still seeing Colin?" he ventured.

.

I nodded.

.

"Are you two getting more serious?" he asked.

.

I considered my answer before I spoke. I looked up at the slivered moon and I confessed, "No – actually, we seem to be drifting a bit if anything."

.

He absorbed my answer silently for a moment then asked, "Does that make you sad?"

.

"A little, yes. I care about him, I do. But I know we won't be together forever. He's not my … soul mate. He's a good man, though and I don't want to hurt him."

.

"You believe in soul mates?" He was surprised by my admission.

.

"Hmm mmm. I think there's someone you're supposed to be with. I know it sounds cheesy but I think that's sort of the point to all this." I gestured to the wide expanse before me.

.

"You mean life?"

.

"Ya. I think we're supposed to learn how to be better than we are. We're supposed to learn how to love with our whole being; to have compassion for others and if you're lucky you find that one person who's just … perfect … the perfect match for your heart or soul or whatever you want to call it."

.

"You _are_ a romantic." He hugged me even tighter and kissed my hair.

.

"What's wrong with that?" I asked a little defensively.

.

"Nothing. Absolutely nothing," he said quickly. "It's perfect." Then he kissed my temple. "Don't ever change," he said at last.

.

I struggled against fidgeting, cleared my throat and took a leap. "Why do you think we're here?" I asked.

.

"Oh, I don't know," he admitted quickly. "I think I used to have an idea. But then I realized I was wrong." He chuckled humbly. "It's funny how things get less clear the longer I'm alive. It used to be so simple: _eat – drink – fuck – laugh – love – enjoy all that life has to offer_. Simple right? But now … I think I have a different purpose than when I was … mortal."

.

"Do you think you were changed for a reason?" I asked.

.

"I have no idea. I wish I knew. I was so sure the Doctor would know. I was so disappointed when he didn't. _**That**_ had been my purpose for _**soooo **_long. Waiting." He sighed loudly. "I've been waiting for so long. Now … I have no idea." He sounded so lost, so confused that I turned around to give him a proper hug.

.

"I think he'll have an answer for you before long Jack." I tried to reassure him. "You just have to wait a little longer. It won't be too long now." I whispered the words into his chest but I knew he heard me because his arms tightened and his body tensed.

.

"If you knew … you'd tell me wouldn't you Ianto?" He leaned back and angled my head upwards with a hand under my chin so that he could look me in the eye.

.

I met his questioning gaze. "I would. I don't know. You … I never found out what happened or why. I'm sorry. I wish I could tell you what you want to know." His disappointment was evident but he also seemed relieved – perhaps that I hadn't been holding back the one thing that he so desperately needed to hear.

.

"But you know something. I can see it." He was insistent. "Are you saying he's going to find out what happened to me?"

.

I nodded. "I'm pretty sure." I paused. I weighed the consequences of telling him when he'd gone off with the Doctor that first time. Things might be different this time around. He'd already run into the Doctor. He wouldn't have to run after the TARDIS this time, would he?

.

"What is it?" His eyes pleaded in tandem with his words. "Please? Tell me … anything you can?" He gently cupped my cheek with his hand.

.

I let out that breath I'd been holding for years. "I think it'll be about two years or so. Maybe …" I shrugged. "Around June … 2007." I postulated tentatively. "But … things could change. Hell, me telling you this could have changed things already. Or maybe when I … when you saw the Doctor on the Plas everything changed and whatever I think I know is now useless. I don't know. So please don't get your hopes up too high." I was concerned that he'd just be disappointed again.

.

"One of these days I hope you'll tell me about your timeline problems." I heard the grin in his voice. Apparently, my little rant had lightened his mood.

.

"I hope so, too." _But I doubt it_, I thought.

.

"Thank you for telling me what you think you know – just the same. I can wait a few more years. I've waited a Century. What's a few more years?" He was smiling again and relaxed. We lay there quietly enjoying the grandness of the Universe and the simplicity of the horizon in each other's arms for an hour or more until the cold chased us in doors. It had been one of those days; memorable, enlightening and eye opening. We'd each been blessed with a valuable gift this starry night, the gift of perspective.

.

.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Continued in … 13 – Special Projects<strong>_

_**.**_


	22. C13 Special Projects

**_13 - Special Projects _**

**W/C:** ~5400  
><strong>Warningsspoilers/content**: some rude language, sexual situations and language, angsty-angst  
><strong>Summary<strong>: Everyone seems to have a special project.  
><strong>Characters<strong>: Ianto, immortal-Jack, Colin, Inspector Donaldson, Tosh, Owen, OOC (Colin's friends)  
><strong>Ianto's New Timeline<strong>: November 28 – December 8, 2005 (3rd month)  
><strong>AN: **Semisonic own's the song "Closing Time" – I just borrowed a line for a bit.

* * *

><p>.<p>

**_"Meddling isn't a hobby; it's a way of life."_**

**_ -Inspector Donaldson_**

**_._**

**IT WASN'T A NEW THING**. The Inspector's been taking care of me for a long time. Just ask anyone. He'd say, "I've taken the lad under my wing," and, "it's up to me to look out for the lad." He's come to love me like a son. He'd made it very clear however, that in his opinion it didn't mean he couldn't or shouldn't _thwap_ me upside the head or kick my ass back to last Sunday every once in a while, especially if I deserved it.

.

Ever since that _'deep thought escapade'_ the Inspector had suspected me of straying. He'd nearly poisoned us both (with alcohol) attempting to pull the truth from me. At the time he'd used the words _'sowed some oats'_ and I had thought that hysterically funny - not the part about the _straying_ just the phrase. The next day, after the blinding pain had subsided, he'd thought only of Colin; _the fact that I had strayed from Colin._

.

He knew I wasn't typically _the kind_ that strayed in fact last month he would have wagered his annual income on that fact. But that was before I'd disappeared on my little _deep thought debacle_. He'd scoffed at that one. "_Deep thought my arse,"_ he'd said at the time. Of course, the pieces hadn't come together until the Torchwood discussion. Even way back during the Blowfish thing I'd been a little too excited about Torchwood and their damn Captain. _It was all that Harkness's fault_. The Inspector knew it in his bones.

.

He told me the moment he'd said my name that '_slimy git'_ had started to slather like some starving beast. He'd practically begged him for my phone number for fuck's sake! The Inspector had grumbled for a week, "that Harkness, he's a **_bad influence_**, that's what he is."

.

When the posting came down through the wire he'd thought only of the opportunity. It would be great for Colin's career. The fact that it was in a distant city … well … that was absolutely unavoidable.

.

He hadn't _really_ pulled any strings per se. Colin was an able officer. He was well-liked and had built himself a solid reputation as an investigator. He deserved a leg-up and the Inspector had only been too glad to help. It would save Colin (and me) heartbreak later. The Inspector had thought, _if it was a job that split us up and not another person well then …. that wouldn't be so bad would it?_

.

Colin peeked his head through the door and found the Inspector drowning in paperwork. "Inspector? You wanted to see me?"

.

"Yes, Colin come on in. Sit down. I have some great news." The Inspector pushed the piles of crapperwork to the side and shuffled through the newest, slightly smaller mountain in search of a fax.

.

"Really?" He was shocked. He hadn't expected anything except a PFO form letter _if that_.

.

"Yes. You got it!" he exclaimed, "I just heard. They'll call you later today but the official offer just came through the fax and _you know_ my assistant is a snoopy bastard." He rambled on excitedly; thoroughly pleased with himself and his skillful maneuvering of the red tape jungle that was his life.

.

"I can't believe I got it." Colin sat shocked looking small and shrinking smaller by the second in the uncomfortable visitor's chair.

.

"Well, you did." He grinned encouragingly at the confused looking young man sitting across from him.

.

"When do I start?" He gulped loudly. _I'll have to tell Ianto_, he realized.

.

"Let me see …" he scanned the page for the start date. "Two weeks. Here take a look." He passed the contract to Colin.

.

"Thanks," he said quietly. "Hmm."

.

"What's wrong? I thought you'd be ecstatic."

.

"Oh, no … this is great. I … I just haven't told Ianto about this, that's all."

.

"Well you know Ianto. He'll be excited for you. He cares about you," he assured him.

.

He took a deep breath and attempted a small smile. "I know," he said and their eyes met.

.

"Is … are you okay Colin?" asked the Inspector. "If you don't want this it's okay to decline."

.

He nodded. "I know." _Don't be such a fool_, he thought. "I want this." _He needed this_. He'd decided that it was time for action, time to get what he wanted instead of always treading water in this painful holding pattern. "I'm just not looking forward to telling him."

.

"I understand." He did, he understood, more than Colin realized.

.

.

TW**X**DW

.

.

"**YOU'VE BEEN SO DISTANT LATELY**." Colin complained quietly. It was Saturday morning and we both had the day off _barring the end of the world_. It had been an eternity since I'd had a lie-in.

.

"I know." I couldn't lie about this. "I'm sorry." I felt terrible and had no intention of hurting Colin but the truth was that lately I was always thinking about Jack.

.

"Work?"

.

"Hmm?"

.

"Is it work?" he asked again. "Or … something else?"

.

I exhaled long and loudly. "It's a lot of things," I told him.

.

He lay still and silent waiting for my explanation.

.

"I haven't been fair to you." I spoke my confession softly. "I know. I'm always so busy … always at work." The truth of this statement left a bitter taste in my mouth.

.

"It feels like you're pushing me away," he said simply.

.

I flinched. His gaze sought out mine. I held it a moment before I had to look away.

.

He sighed and then continued. "A few weeks ago the Inspector told me about a job competition. He convinced me to apply." He paused and took a deep breath.

.

"Oh, ya? What kind of job?" I was wary of where this was going but I tried to sound upbeat.

.

"It would mean a promotion; more money, more responsibility."

.

"That sounds great!" I exclaimed. I was genuinely excited for him.

.

He smiled thinly.

.

I shook my head in confusion. "Not great?" I asked.

.

"No … no. It is. It's brilliant," he insisted.

.

"Then what?"

.

"I got it." He spoke with about as much enthusiasm as a man who'd just won a root canal.

.

"That's brilliant!" I enthused. "You don't sound very excited, though. What's wrong with it?"

.

He sighed heavily. "It's in Newcastle."

.

"Oh." I paused and searched his face. He looked guilty. He looked guilty for feeling happy. A slow smile crept onto my face. "You should take it." I told him quickly.

.

"Why?" he asked, his face a mask of confusion and insecurity.

.

I frowned. "You deserve it," I told him. I sighed and caressed his cheek. "You should get the hell out of Cardiff while you still can. You're a good cop. You deserve this."

.

"What about us?" he insisted.

.

I hugged him tightly. "I'll miss you." I spoke these words into his neck and then kissed the skin closest to my mouth.

.

"Me too." His voice was strained and tight.

.

I pulled away to catch his eyes. "You know I love you, ya?"

.

His face softened. He nodded and replied, "I love you too." He paused. "But it's not enough is it?"

.

Suddenly my chest tightened and a jagged cold sensation spread into my stomach. He wasn't just talking about the job anymore. "We need to …" I broke off. I couldn't find the words. "I want what's best for you. And staying here, settling for a lesser job … it's not good enough for you Colin. You're so brilliant. You can go so far. If you stay here Cardiff will eat you up and spit you out." My passionate plea was short lived and by the time I'd finished talking all of my fire was gone.

.

"Like what it's gonna do to you?" he countered stiffly.

.

"I won't let it," I said firmly.

.

"Just … be careful. I know your work is dangerous. Far more so than mine."

.

"I'm always careful," I began.

.

His snort conveyed just how careful he thought I was. "Now listen," he insisted and looked at me sternly. "People talk … I know I'm not supposed to know about Torchwood but you know as well as I that the Inspector and I know perfectly well what you do. It's dangerous. And you've been getting more and more obsessed with work and I'm afraid it's sucking the life out of **_you_**." He ran his hand through my hair. "And that boss of yours is too damn demanding! You need a life – you need to see your friends. That's how we stay sane ya? You told me that. Or did you forget your own wisdom mister smarty pants?"

.

I grunted. He'd surprised me with his counter-rant. How could I not love this man? He was wonderful; loving, caring, considerate, passionate – everything I could ever want. But he wasn't **_the_** **_one_**. And I had to let him go. For both our sakes. "Maybe I needed to be reminded." I had to admit - I did tend to get obsessed.

.

He took me in his arms and held me tightly.

.

"Thank you," I whispered. "For everything. You always know what I need."

.

He tensed. "We could try the long distance thing?" he asked tentatively.

.

I shook my head gently and smiled apologetically. I took his face between my warm hands. "We both know those things never work – especially with our jobs. We'll only end up resenting each other."

.

He rested his forehead against mine and his eyes slid closed.

.

"When?" I asked.

.

"Two weeks," he rasped. "But I don't know if I'm gonna take it."

.

"Then let's make the most of it, ya?"

.

He smiled and rolled me over onto my back, covering my naked body with his. It was a rare occasion that I didn't go into work on the weekend. We spent the entire day in bed, making love and enjoying the time we had left together.

.

.

TW**X**DW

.

.

**_"Go on! It's dead, it won't mind."_**

**_-Owen_**

.

**WE WERE IN THE BOARDROOM** shovelling Greek Pita-Wraps down our gullets. We'd had a messy call and had stumbled back to the hub dirty, foul smelling, exhausted and starving. Jack had managed to get half the wrap down his throat and looked like he was performing some sort of sexual act with his food. Owen was battered, somewhat bloody and making his usual mess. Tosh and I ate quietly side-by-side. We were both facing the same direction; had the same view. I turned to her and whispered, "They're animals." She shook her head in disgust and quietly agreed.

.

Since we were all together I decided it was a good time to get Owen started on the special project I had planned for him. "Jack, I was thinking about that medical cross-training we talked about. The rift looks pretty quiet for the next few days." I looked to Tosh for agreement and she nodded. "If it cooperates do you think we could get started today or tomorrow?"

.

Jack turned to our resident medical professional and put the question to him. "What do you think Owen? You _up for it_?"

.

Owen gave him a pointed look. "I'm always _up for it_ Harkness." Then he turned to me and added, "I think it's a great idea. Any special requests?"

.

"Weevil bites," said Tosh.

.

"Stiches and how to stop bleeding," I added.

.

"Good one," commented Jack. It was muffled because he still had a large chunk of Pita-Wrap in his mouth.

.

"I was thinking injections and IV's," said Owen.

.

Every one nodded and thought of Suzie but no one spoke.

.

Tosh came up with another one. "We should also learn how to use the medical equipment. You know for basic scans and tests and such."

.

"And what about gunshot wounds; removing a bullet?" I urged.

.

Owen had started a list on the paper napkin that came with our take-out. "We'll get started this afternoon. I'll go pull out some interesting corpses and we can use them for practice." A devilish grin spread across Owen's face. He rubbed his hands together vigorously and then he skipped out of the room like a little girl in spring. He was quite excited.

.

"Oh goodie, Owen's excited about playing with some dead bodies," moaned Tosh.

Under Owen's watchful eye Tosh and I practiced stitching wounds on an alien cadaver. We usually had dinner together on Thursday night but this week I had to break our date. "Oh … _tsk_ … about tonight Tosh, I'll have to cancel. I promised the Inspector that I'd stop by the club tonight. They're having a going away party for Colin. Sorry it's so last minute."

.

She waved my apology away. "What do you mean? Where's he going?" She looked at me closely.

.

"He got a promotion." I cleared my throat. "He's moving to Newcastle." I tried to sound unaffected.

.

"Oh, that sucks. I'm so sorry Ianto. Are you alright?" Her voice was laden with sympathy and concern.

.

"Ya, I'll be okay. I'm going to miss him though." It didn't work; she always knew how I was feeling.

.

She frowned. "Are you two going to try the long distance thing?" she pressed.

.

"No." I said simply.

.

"Oh." At a loss for words, she exchanged a quick look with Owen.

.

"Sorry to hear that mate," Owen sympathized quietly. He paused for a breath or two then turned to Tosh. "Tosh those stiches are great, much better than your last go; you too Ianto. Those ones are nice and tight." He had assumed the mantle of 'instructor' and 'the professional doctor' and had acted accordingly. He taught us patiently and encouraged us with precise corrective feedback. But he was switching back to 'friendly coworker' now. "It looks like you've mastered everything on the list for now so if you want to take off I can take care of the rest."

.

"Thanks Owen, that's … really great of you. I'll return the favour whenever you like." I didn't need to be told twice. I was already snapping off my rubber gloves into the trash and ready to make a run for it.

.

"No problem mate." He waved me off good-naturedly and started tidying up.

.

"Good night Ianto," called Tosh.

.

"See you tomorrow Tosh," I called back. I'd donned my jacket and turned off my computer. "G'night Owen." I called down to him loudly from across the hub. "Thanks again!"

.

"See ya mate," he called back to me.

.

Jack came out of his office to see what all the shouting was about. He looked around and noticed I was gone. "Where's Ianto?" he asked Tosh.

.

"Oh, he had to … he had to go to a going away do." Tosh had just gotten comfortable and was trying to finish up a project she'd been working on all day.

.

He looked at her, stunned as if she were speaking a foreign language.

.

"It's important," she insisted. "We need to do these things sometimes Jack."

.

Owen came up the steps and tossed a disgusting hunk of something into the large bin before pulling on his jacket. "It's called _a life_ Jack," added Owen. "You should try it. Trust me, I'm a Doctor."

.

Tosh snickered.

.

He waved to Tosh who waved back and then he sauntered out the door.

.

"I'd love to," Jack retorted to no one in particular. "Just waiting for the right man," he added wistfully.

.

Tosh tried to go back to her project but Jack was leaning up against my desk still hovering behind her.

.

She looked up at him annoyed by his continued and distracting presence. "Need something Jack? You're hovering," she added with obvious irritation.

.

"Just curious." He tapped his foot against the desk. "Who's the party for?"

.

"Colin," she said sounding distracted.

.

"What?" he exclaimed.

.

"You know - Ianto's boyfriend?"

.

"Unfortunately," he said glumly. "Wait? Did you say going away? Where's he going?"

.

"Newcastle. Job promotion," she said tersely.

.

"Really? Now that's interesting." He was intrigued by the sheer number of possibilities this new development might present.

.

"Jack …." she warned. "You can't just pounce. You need to wait a decent amount of time." She snapped out the 21st Century Social Rule; her voice laced with impatience.

.

"They're breaking up," he said excitedly. "He's bound to feel sad. Can't I comfort him?" he asked eagerly.

.

"No, you **_can not_**." She told him in her angry teacher voice.

.

"Why not?" He whined at her with a pouty face.

.

"You'd be poaching. Taking advantage," she declared.

.

"_Harumpf_." He paused to think. "How long do I need to wait?" he asked after a moment.

.

"I don't know exactly." She was getting exasperated.

.

"Well, I need specifics," he demanded. He thumped his hand down on the desk in frustration. "You say I have to wait. You must have a time frame in mind."

.

"There isn't a manual." Her words were uttered coolly.

.

"There should be," he argued. "How am I supposed to know the rules if there's no manual? Hmmm?" In his mind, his argument was airtight. He'd expected her to capitulate and focus her attention on him once again.

.

She just shook her head and tried to ignore him.

.

Disappointed with her reaction, he whined, "Tosh?"

.

"Yes Jack!" She spun around, the daggers in her eyes ready to fire.

.

Her venom surprised him. He pouted, tried for pathetic and remorseful. "Can you … help me woo him?"

.

"You want to woo him?" Her voice was pitched high, incredulous.

.

He nodded solemnly.

.

"Ah. Okay." She looked at him briefly before turning back to her screen. "I guess I can do that. But not tonight," she said sternly. "I need to finish this. Then I need to go home. There's a trashy novel and a bottle of wine calling my name."

.

"Sounds boring," he groaned dramatically. "You should stay here and tutor me on appropriate wooing techniques." He was jumping around like a kid in a candy store _on candy delivery day_.

.

"Not tonight Jack." She held her ground.

.

"But I want to start tomorrow…" he whinged.

.

"It's too soon." She was still typing away trying very hard to ignore him.

.

"Ya, you're right." He sighed, capitulated. She wouldn't be swayed. "I should at least wait until he's gone."

.

TW**X**DW

.

.

**_"It takes two baby … and then it's a party." _**

**_––Colin_**

**_._**

**THE WEATHER THAT NIGHT SEEMED PARTICULARLY CALM** and the air outside smelled crisp and clean. I stepped through the door and sharp cackles and bubbling peals of laughter filled the air. The people assembled here were friends, coworkers, supervisors, teachers; all people who new, respected and loved Colin. They'd had the privilege of serving with him, beside him through joyous occasions like birthdays, anniversaries and promotions and through hard, dark times as well. They'd come to see him off and to make sure he knew that he was loved and would be missed. That was the message, the real purpose of this gathering. It wasn't just an excuse for a party; it was a way to tell him _he'd be missed_.

.

He was surrounded on all sides; on one side Dave stood with a hand on his shoulder, on the other Darla was pressed up against his arm, there were several chatting behind him and in front smiley-John held his drink aloft and was heartily toasting his future. His friends were vying for his attention; just one last joke, one last smile to be shared before tomorrow when he left for good. The Inspector stood near, an overseer, a guardian surveying his pride from atop his grassy knoll with nose and cheeks rosy from too much cheer and clouded eyes that lacked their familiar sparkle.

.

I stood farther afield, an observer, unnoticed and still removed from the party. I watched him closely; he was smiling, his eyes held a touch of moisture that comes after heavy laughter or sadness. They were regaling him with tall tales and exploits and soon they'd shift their focus to his grand deeds but as soon as they began, all eyes would mist and things would become more somber.

.

Smiley-John had finished his toast and said what he needed to say so he gave him a solid, very manly slap on the back and sauntered off. The lull in conversation permitted Colin's gaze to drift across the crowd and towards the door and I smiled when it settled on me. He waved me over and the sea of people parted like magic allowing me passage towards my departing lover. I nodded at the Inspector and received a tight nod in return. There was something in his eyes tonight.

.

Colin pulled me into his arms and his skin felt overly warm, nearly feverish. "You okay?" I whispered in his ear.

.

"Ya, just overwhelmed," he assured me slightly out of breath. "I'm glad you're here, though."

.

"I wouldn't miss it for the world," I told him. I stood by his side while his guests filed by and paid homage to the man of the hour. Later on, they brought out a cake decorated with gaudy brightly colored icing. The party planners had chosen 'a theme' that befitted a young Welshman leaving his homeland for the dangerous 'south'. They'd formed the icing in the shape of a life raft and it was filled with various safety equipment – all made out of cake, candy and icing. He'd received numerous gag gifts throughout the evening; a mini first aid kit, a mini torch and lock-pic set, an extendable baton and a kid's spy kit. They laughed and taunted him about having to live amongst the Geordies and he took it all in good stride.

.

Later still as things quieted down people started to stand up and make short speeches in Colin's honour. The Inspector went up last and a hush fell over the crowd. His words were always gruff to the ear but their intent and heartfelt meaning left no eye dry in the house. The Inspector was passed a package which he held awkwardly in his rough hands. He called Colin to the center stage and presented him with our group gift.

.

"This is from all of us," he said gruffly, "and we hope you'll use it." He handed the package to Colin and hugged him fiercely before he stepped away.

.

Colin opened it carefully, his face flushed with pleasure and apprehension. There was no telling what this lot might come up with. He gasped when he realized what it was. "Ah … a plane ticket?" His voice quavered and his mouth fell open in surprise. "This is amazing!"

.

"It's so you can come and visit us!" someone shouted from the crowd.

.

"Thank you, thank you everyone." He swallowed. "This is amazing. Huge." He shook his head and straightened his thoughts. "Of course I'll come back and visit you," he promised.

.

"You have a family here Colin," said the Inspector. "Your own family and this one so don't forget us." The Inspector wrapped his arms around the young man and hugged him amiably while the crowd applauded.

.

"Speech! Speech!" Someone called out from the crowd.

.

Colin smiled ruefully. He'd known that this moment would come but he hadn't been looking forward to it. It meant it was really happening. He had to say goodbye. With his open-ended ticket gripped tightly in his hand he squared his shoulders. He took a deep breath and began by thanking his coworkers and supervisors for their friendship and support. Then he turned to those who'd given him gifts earlier and thanked them again. Then it felt like he turned to me alone and all the people - the noise - the lights just fell away. It was only him and I; and when he spoke his words tore through me.

.

"I won't forget the friends I've made here. We've been together, worked side-by-side for so many years; we've had some scrapes and some adventures too. I've been blessed to have such a supportive mentor. He made me believe in myself and he pushed me to take a chance. Thank you, Inspector. I'm so glad I listened to you." His eyes flickered away from mine and locked onto the Inspector for a moment and then he was back. His eyes bore into to mine more deeply than before. "Sometimes you have to leave the job you love and try something new. Sometimes you have to leave the people you love and move on. I feel sad." His voice almost broke. "I'm going to miss you all. I feel like I'm breaking the ties between us even though I don't want to. But I'm going so far away. I know in my heart I may never see some of you again. I know it sounds cheesy but I've got to believe that you have to close a door before another one can open. And like the song says, _every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end_. So wish me luck on my new adventure. I'm going to have a new beginning folks."

.

The lights had dimmed for me and I was frozen. I felt the happiness go out of the room. All that laughter and happy chatting had gone; I couldn't hear it for the pounding in my head.

.

After the vast majority had left we gathered up his gifts and headed for his car. I'd assumed that we'd spend this last night together at his place. He had a flight for the early afternoon and that left us the rest of the night before we'd have to say goodbye.

.

I left my car at the club so I could ride with him. He was quiet now that we were alone. I stroked his thigh affectionately while he drove but I could feel how tense he was under my hand. The rain started splattering against the windshield only moments after we left the club. The crisp clean smell from earlier had turned to damp and cold. He reached out and flicked the music off in irritation. "Damn weather," he muttered.

.

I agreed and squeezed his leg gently. He was so quiet and getting more tense by the moment. "You okay?" I ventured, "You seem tense."

.

"Actually," he started, "I'm pissed off." Then he shot a daggered look at me.

.

"Oh," I said stupidly. I hadn't expected pissed off. "Do you want to talk about it?" I wasn't sure I wanted to talk about it but it seemed like the right thing to do.

.

He sucked his breath in sharply and then heaved it out. "Yes," he answered tightly. "_Why - don't - we_." His words were clipped and terse.

.

Half way between the club and his flat he put his foot on the break and pulled over to the side of the road. While still technically in the city, we might as well have been in the middle of nowhere. He left the engine running so we'd have some heat but he turned off the annoying wiper blades. He took off his seat belt and turned towards me. His face was partially illuminated by the eerie _Borg-Green_ of the dashboard instruments. In the dark of the car, I shivered and outside the night wore on cold and dismal.

.

"Colin what is it?" I was nervous. I had no idea what he was angry about but I had a terrible feeling he was angry at me.

.

"I had a chat with the Inspector today." He clenched his jaw and huffed. "Earlier today I was having second thoughts."

.

"About taking the job?" I ventured.

.

"About everything. About leaving you. About leaving a job I love. Leaving my family." His hand tore through his hair.

.

"And now?" I prompted.

.

"And now … well _I'm just pissed off_."

.

"What about?"

.

"You!" he cried.

.

"Me?" I squeaked.

.

"Yes, you."

.

"Colin, I don't understand."

.

"Oh, I know you don't," he snapped. He was frustrated and annoyed by my confused looks. "Let me tell you about my chat with the Inspector shall I?"

.

"Okay, sure," I said mildly – still confused.

.

"He was quite adamant that I take this job you know."

.

"I didn't," I answered quietly. I'd suspected as much though.

.

"Everything just fell into place today. I can't believe how **_blind_** I've been."

.

"About what?"

.

"He was right. We have been growing apart for a long time; since you went on _your little trip_."

.

"My little trip?" It was irritating how everyone referred to my time with the Doctor as 'my little trip' or some other condescending phrase. I wanted to scream _I was saving the bloody world you know!_

.

"Yes dammit! You've been different ever since you came back. I never wanted to think the worst. I wouldn't let myself but I've been naïve!" Colin was agitated and rambling. The words just flew out now.

.

I was speechless.

.

"He didn't say anything specific. He's loyal our Inspector. But today I realized that he's loyal to both of us. He hinted. _He said it might be best to cut my losses._ He's right. There's **_always_** something going on behind the scenes with you. You **_always_** hold something back. Even when you bare your heart to me it's like you're only baring a tiny piece of yourself; **_just enough_**. No matter how well I think I know you, **_you always hold back_**," he accused.

.

I gulped and said exactly the wrong thing. "I guess I can't argue with that."

.

"That's it? That's all you've got to say to me? _You can't argue with me_?" Colin was bewildered by my rote response. He leaned forward and the pain in his voice was terrible. "**_You_** said you didn't want to stay together. **_You_** didn't want to try. You're probably **_relieved_** that I'm going." He paused for just a beat and scoured my face to glean whether there was any truth to his accusations. "You haven't been mine for a long time and I've only just figured it out," he nearly sobbed. Daggers flew from his lips and tore at my guilty heart. "**_But the question is, Ianto, when did you figure it out?_**"

.

I shuddered and sat there dumb. Words were inadequate at this point. His fury was warranted and he didn't even know the half of it. I wouldn't confirm his suspicions at this point. It wouldn't serve him. Knowing the truth wouldn't make him feel any better. There was no salvaging this. I said the only thing I could say. I said the only true words left for me to say. "I'm so sorry, Colin. I know. You're right. I've always … held back. I always will." I tried to choose my words carefully. "I'm sorry that we've grown apart. It's probably all my fault." I hung my head in shame. "And I know you don't want to hear this right now but you need to know I do love you. I have always loved you. **_I just wish it were enough_**." Those last six words were horrible and probably better left unsaid but they were the truth and he deserved as much of the truth as I could give him after all this time.

.

In the darkness, my hurtful words hung between us like a guillotine ready to drop. Colin's face was twisted with anger and his final words to me were cold and empty. "I guess this conversation is over." He'd glanced at the door and his meaning was perfectly clear. _Get the fuck out of my car_.

.

I nodded and blinked away the tears. I whispered, "Good bye," and then I swung the door open and stepped out into the pouring rain.

.

The moment the door slammed shut he drove away leaving me standing on the curb somewhere between the club and my lost lover's home. With my head hung low, hands shoved deeply into my pockets I walked back to the club.

.

It was early Sunday morning as I walked through the deserted streets and I was reminded that Saturday night had been a time for parties and for friends for many and more. Hours earlier these streets held crowds of people, laughter and music rang out and strangers danced in the dark while lovers embraced and exchanged stolen kisses under street lamps.

.

The rain poured down, cruelly pelting me on the head and shoulders. The only evidence that this place had so recently thronged with celebrations of life, love and happiness lay strewn soaking on the ground. All that remained were empty bottles, patches of vomit, discarded used condoms, empty cigarette wrappers and torn crisp packets. Eventually the rain might wash away this debris and nothing would be left. Ultimately, the streets and I would be left bereft and hollow.

.

**_._**

* * *

><p><strong><em>Continued in … 14 – It's All Fun and Games<em>**


	23. C14 It's All Fun and Games

_**14 - It's All Fun and Games**_

_**.**_

**W/C:** 2164  
><strong>Warningsspoilers/content**: some very rude language, hurt & (lack of) comfort  
><strong>Summary<strong>: Ianto juggles his own special projects  
><strong>Characters<strong>: Ianto, immortal-Jack, Inspector Donaldson, Tosh, Owen  
><strong>Ianto's New Timeline<strong>: December 9, 2005 (3rd month)  
><strong>AN: **The writers of Supernatural came up with that awesome line [It's a field - not the Death Star] I'm just borrowing it for a _few _minutes. I've taken the appendix off for updating. I'll put it back on soon if you like.

* * *

><p><em>.<em>

_._

_**The day after the party…**_

.

"**SO… OWEN?"** I was trying to dress and sling Tosh's imaginary broken arm and I wasn't doing a very good job of it. Tosh was doing her best not to snicker at me.

.

"Ya?" He answered without looking up. He was assembling the medical kit for the next scenario.

.

"I was hoping you'd teach us how to deal with a gunshot wound," I reminded him. "I think it might be one of those essential skills you were talking about."

.

He nodded in agreement. "You're right. I'll get to that soon. Chances are good that one of us gets shot. If I'm not around…"

.

"Or if _**you**_ get shot," I added in a quiet voice.

.

"Ya, that too." He agreed uncomfortably. "Tomorrow. We'll do gunshot wounds tomorrow. I promise. I'll teach you to extract bullets and how to clamp nicked arteries."

.

"That's a good idea," added Jack. He'd just gotten off the phone. He'd spent the better part of the morning being harried by government officials and he looked ragged.

.

"Good you're here. It's about time. We need you for the next bit. Get down here Jack." Owen was impatient and hurried Jack over with an animated hand waggle.

.

"Okay, let me see your sling." He surveyed my workmanship and rolled his eyes. "That's pathetic," he complained. He untangled Tosh from her mummy wrapping and scooted Jack and me over to the next table. "You two are going to work together. You follow what Tosh and I do."

.

We watched as he took out several intravenous kits and placed them on a tray. "We all need to be able to set up an IV. It'll be essential in the event of blood loss or if we need to sedate someone." He hadn't meant to bring up Suzie again. We'd all been avoiding the subject like the Plague. "Ianto, you'll practice on Jack and Tosh, you can practice on me."

.

Jack blanched.

.

He took out an illustration and explained the do's and don'ts. Then he told Jack to roll up his shirtsleeve.

.

"Why me?" cried Jack.

.

"Because you're so big and strong," quipped Owen.

.

"But it's so big!" Jack protested.

.

"Chill out Jack, it's a needle not the Death Star," Owen said drolly.

.

We laughed our asses off. All except for Jack. He looked at us like we were mental. I don't think he even knew what a Death Star was but he was too proud to ask.

.

"Be the brave captain now," Owen taunted.

.

Jack pouted but did as he was told. We gathered around closely and watched as Owen skillfully punctured Jack's skin and tapped a vein.

.

"Ouch," whined Jack.

.

"Oh stop your whinging you bloody big baby!" Owen chastised him loudly.

.

I bit my lip to stop the grin and Tosh did the same. Jack grumbled to himself about the brutality of certain so-called doctors and Owen completely ignored him.

.

"Right. Now you try." He motioned for me to go next. I looked at Jack's pathetic eyes and I just shook my head.

.

"I'm sorry Jack," I said genuinely. "But one day this might save a life."

.

"I know, I know. Don't worry. Do your worst. I'll heal," he muttered under his breath.

.

"I'll be careful," I promised quietly.

.

Owen started giving us step-by-step directions guiding Tosh and I through the procedure. Owen caught a glint of fear in Jack's glance and took some pity on him. "Okay Jack, let's you and me play a game of Marry, Kill or Fuck. You go first."

.

"Who am I using?" Jack asked uncertainly.

.

"Us three of course," Owen blurted out.

.

Jack looked at him apprehensively and hesitated.

.

"Come on Jack tell me you'd at least marry me," Owen joked.

.

He shrugged. "Okay… fine. I'd marry Tosh 'cause she's so sweet." He batted his eyes at her.

.

"Awww. Thanks Jack. You're such a gentleman." She grinned and stuck out her tongue at Owen.

.

Jack cleared his throat before he spoke. "I'd have to fuck Ianto 'cause he's so damn sexy. Sorry Owen," he apologized quickly, "I'll have to kill ya."

.

"What?" Owen exclaimed. "I thought I'd at least get to fuck the mighty Jack Harkness." He chuckled and guffawed at his own joke. He snuck a peak surreptitiously at my progress. His ploy had worked. Jack was completely distracted from his obvious fear of needles and I'd finished putting in the IV.

.

"You pick who goes next Jack," prodded Owen.

.

He looked between Owen and Tosh; he'd already decided that he wouldn't put me on the spot. "I choose Owen." He smiled wickedly.

.

"No problem!" Owen assured them. "But we need to switch. Jack you do Ianto now."

.

Jack quirked his eyebrow ludicrously and then drawled, "Oh goody… I get to _**do you**_ Ianto, doctor's orders."

.

I smirked, Tosh giggled and Owen kicked himself mentally.

.

Owen made a big show of assessing us each in turn before he declared his choices. "I'd have to marry Tosh as well." His words garnered a rosy blush from her. "And between the two of you… well I'd rather fuck Ianto any day of the week. You just never know where Jack's been."

.

I laughed and snorted but only for a few moments because Jack decided it was a good time to plunge the needle into my arm. "Ouch!" I frowned. "That smarts, Jack."

.

He smiled apologetically. "Sorry, I was a bit too forceful."

.

Owen finished. "Jack you'd better be nicer or you'll get voted off the island." He paused a beat and then added, "Sorry, Jack you're dead."

.

"Thanks Owen, I'll be sure to remember that," he muttered.

.

Owen just chuckled. "I choose Ianto next."

.

I rolled my eyes. I hadn't been looking forward to this. "Fine. I'll marry Tosh too. We all know why. Owen, I'm sorry but you're dead. Jack I'd have to fuck," I added quickly.

.

Owen winced and let out a long pained, "_Ooooh… _Did you hear that Jack? He said _**he'd have to**__._ Doesn't sound very promising, does it? Not all that excited to get you beneath the sheets," he teased.

.

Jack made a face at Owen and retorted, "At least he didn't kill me."

.

I grinned at Jack and shook my head. "You're both bloody big children." I smiled and looked at Tosh. "Your turn Tosh."

.

"Oh, alright if I have to." She paused a moment before continuing. "I'll marry Owen. My parents would be so pleased," she joked. "I'll fuck Ianto," she said quickly. "And Jack you I have to kill. Sorry," she said at last.

.

"Oh, I am _**so dead**_," complained Jack.

.

"Don't worry Jack," I said, "I'd keep you alive."

.

He chuckled. "I have to admit, that does make me feel better." His smile was huge and he ran his hand across my back.

.

"Oi! Get a room you two," shouted Owen.

.

"Face it Owen, you started it. It _**is**_ your fault," accused Tosh.

.

"You're right Tosh I'm a fool," he agreed.

.

.

TW**X**DW

.

.

* * *

><p><em>TW Ianto's Journal TW Ianto's Journal TW<em>

* * *

><p><em>December 9, 2005<em>

.

_That did not turn out how I expected. It all went to shit. I can't believe he just left me. I deserved it – I totally did. It still hurts though. I wanted to end things better than that. I didn't want him to hate me. I wanted him to remember me fondly at least. Now he just hates my fucking guts. And I totally deserve it._

_._

_What the hell did the Inspector say to him? He doesn't know about Jack – he couldn't. There must be something else. But what is it that he thinks he knows? I've got to call him._

_._

_I can't stop thinking about him. Jack. Today was great. Like old times – only better. The four of us. It's like a dream. I've gotten so much extra time with Tosh and Owen. How am I going to fix that? I need a plan. And I'll need some serious help. One step at a time. Christmas is coming. I need to start my research on the 456. I need to talk to Jack about them. I'm not looking forward to that. _

_._

_**To do:**__ make some calls about Christmas (Type A-pos I think)_

_**Not to do**__: ? Bed – naked – sex – Jack. Obviously. Dammit._

* * *

><p><em>TW Ianto's Journal TW Ianto's Journal TW<em>

* * *

><p>.<p>

.

TW**X**DW

.

.

"**WE HAD A HUGE FIGHT**," I started to explain. "He dumped me at the side of the road and I walked back to the club in the rain."

.

"I'm not surprised," he said tightly. His distaste was apparent.

.

"You told him he should cut his losses?" I half asked - half accused.

.

"Of course. And so would you if you were in my position." He sounded confident and stern, he wasn't budging.

.

"You made it sound like…" I sighed. I had to admit he'd made it sound much like it was.

.

"I made it sound like your relationship wasn't worth throwing away a once in a lifetime career opportunity for." He finished the sentence for me. It wasn't _**at all **_what I was going to say but it rang true none the less.

.

I stood mutely and all but stared at the phone with a gaping mouth. I couldn't believe he'd said that! But I couldn't even muster an appropriate amount of indignation.

.

"What did you expect?" he demanded impatiently.

.

"I don't… I," I started to explain myself but I was grasping at straws.

.

"No seriously, what did you think would happen?" His voice was softer now, less angry.

_._

_He loves us both_, I reminded myself.

.

"Every time we talk on the phone, all I hear is _Jack this_ and _Jack that_. It's not hard to figure, lad. I've known you a few years. You're pretty easy to read once you know what to look for."

.

"So you told him I was… _in love_ with someone else?" I hoped it wasn't true.

.

"No. I didn't say that." He said the words quietly and I heard him exhale loudly. "I told him it looked like you two were growing apart and it only took him a moment to realize it was true."

.

"He was so angry." I felt horrible for the pain I'd caused him. "I do love him, Inspector, I always have," I insisted.

.

"I know that and so does he," he assured me. "Even so, you have to admit you haven't been entirely honest with him though."

.

"I know." I grimaced. Once again I was frustrated and gagged by the curse of secrecy. "Inspector I know you've always felt that I'm secretive about certain things."

.

"Ya," he scoffed. "To say the least."

.

"I have a good reason," I insisted. "I really do. I wouldn't lie to you unless it was essential."

.

"But how do you decide that Ianto?" He sounded exasperated. "You have to trust somebody." He sighed again, "You can _trust me_. I wish you would."

.

But how could I? How could I tell him my secret? He'd have me committed. Worse, I'd lose a friend. But I felt like I was losing him anyway.

.

"Inspector, some of the secrets I hold, they're not my own." I tried to explain. "They're not my secrets to tell." I thought about the trying times on the near horizon. "But soon, I'll be able to tell you some. But right now, you'd never believe me. So please just trust me a little longer. And I swear by Christmas… you'll understand."

.

He held his silence a moment then came to a decision. "Alright Ianto. You're right. I've always trusted you. I know there's something… _unique_ about you; I always have and it's never bothered me before now. I'll wait - for you."

.

"Thank you Inspector," I said quickly. "I know you're not a patient man."

.

He chuckled.

.

"Please have faith in me. I won't let you down." I had a plan. I'd prove to him once and for all that he could trust me – that he knew me and always had.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Continued in… 15 – In the Interests of Many <strong>_


	24. C15 In the Interests of Many

_**15 – In the Interests of Many**_

.

**W/C:** 2614  
><strong>Warningsspoilers/content**: some rude language, reference to TW3.1 Children of Earth  
><strong>Summary<strong>: Sometimes, the greater good doesn't feel very good.  
><strong>Characters<strong>: Ianto, immortal-Jack  
><strong>Ianto's New Timeline<strong>: December 12, 2005 (3rd month)

* * *

><p>.<p>

_**A few days later…**_

.

**I POKED MY HEAD THROUGH HIS OFFICE DOOR**, which stood slightly ajar. "Jack, can I speak with you for a moment?"

.

"Sure, Ianto come on in. Have a seat. What's on your mind?" He was a little distracted working on several things at once.

.

"I need to go on a research trip to London." I sat and waited for _**that look**_.

.

He blanched apprehensively. "What? Why London?"

.

"I need to get access to some files for a special project," I explained.

.

"And which special project would that be?" He leaned back in his chair and mentally shifted into _crisis-assessment-mode_.

.

I smiled thinly, more of a grimace really.

.

He sighed, exasperated. "What now?" He threw his pen down on the desk in disgust.

.

I sighed too. I would always be the bearer of bad news and this time would be no different. "It's a long term thing. It's important," I assured him.

.

"To you?"

.

"To everyone."

.

"Everyone at Torchwood?"

.

"No, I mean everyone on Earth."

.

"Shit."

.

"Yes, shit indeed." I agreed wholeheartedly.

.

"Oh, for the love of… What do you need and why now?" His hands were raking through his hair, a telltale sign of distress.

.

"Now… is a good time. I need to go before Christmas. Christmas is going to be… busy. It's best if I go before." I rambled nervously.

.

"Okay, fine," he agreed. "The timing is fine. But what is this about?" He needed more information. Mostly, he needed it to stave off his growing panic.

.

I stared at him for a long, long time. This was going to suck. "It's about the children," I said in a pained quiet voice.

.

He frowned, "Which children?"

.

"The one's they gave to the aliens in 1965." I spoke those terrible words as gently as I could.

.

So many emotions passed over him, through him, rolling 'round and 'round behind his eyes like a torturous rollercoaster: _shock-fear-anger-guilt-terror-anger-shame_. He leaned forward to rest his elbows on his desk and covered his face with his open palms. He swallowed, he clenched his jaw, he stood and he clenched his fists. He retrieved his friend _Mister Whiskey_ from atop the cabinet.

.

"I'll take one too please," I asked quietly. He poured and passed me the tumbler. "Thank you," I whispered.

.

He sat. His eyes were averted, glazed, lost in memory.

.

.

_**[Scooby-Doo Flash back – Scotland – 1965]**_

_The children filed off the school bus nervously. I stood in front of them—assured them Uncle Jack would take them on an adventure—and convinced them to walk to their doom. "Here we go." I clapped my hands. "Alright, children. You follow me. Adventure." My voice trembled. "Okay children… walk into the light. Do as I say." I had that stupid fake smile plastered on my face._

_But one little boy hesitated. His innocent face tilted up to meet mine and he begged me to keep him safe. "What's in there? What is it?" He just wanted me to tell him the truth, to protect him, like I should have._

"_Just go." I told him._

"_It's safe though isn't it?" Eyes wide, he pleaded in a tiny terrified voice._

"_Ya, it's safe." Oh, forgive me. I knew it wasn't safe. _

_The little blond boy took a few steps then hesitated and turned to look at me one last time. His eyes sought reassurance and I kept lying. "Keep going. You don't wanna be left out, do you?" I manipulated him with an orphan's fear, to be left behind. Then suddenly the bright white light exploded and expanded, blinding everyone. I shielded my eyes and I lost sight of him. Then we were left in darkness. I betrayed him, I betrayed them all… _

.

.

**I COULDN'T BEAR TO WATCH HIM** relive the pain again. "Jack…" I called and brought him back to the present.

.

His eyes said he didn't thank me for it. "It was so long ago," he managed to get out.

.

"I know." I whispered painfully.

.

"You don't," he insisted.

.

"_I do_." I insisted harder. "I… know… Jack. It's done, it's the past and you can't change it. But know this, those _**parasites**_ are coming back and they won't settle for just 12 this time."

.

"Oh, fuck no," he moaned. _He would know_, he thought. _He would see right through me. I'm a fucking monster. How can he look at me?_

.

"Yes and unless we do something _**we are all**_ seriously fucked."

.

"What can I do?" His voice was flat, his eyes lifeless and his body sagged in defeat. _What can I do after all this time? There's nothing you can do, _his self-hating inner voice replied, y_ou can't atone for this_. _Ever._

.

"I need more information on them. I need to get into MI6 records. They don't tend to share well with others so I need you to get me clearance to get into that area. I can make my way to the files we need once I'm inside."

.

He nodded. "I can do that." He closed his eyes. "What else?" When I looked at him blankly he insisted, "Come on, there's always something else."

.

"For now, this is it Jack."

.

Suddenly, he became very tense. Then he asked in a terribly pained, fearful voice, "Are they… is it happening _**this**_ Christmas?"

.

I shook my head vigorously. "No—no Jack—not for a while yet. I just want to be ready."

.

"Oh, thank god. Thank _**them all,**_" he groaned and then sat quietly for a moment. He struggled to meet my eyes. With hands wrapped around his pounding skull, he rasped, "How can you look at me?" It was a small broken voice. It didn't suit him.

.

"Jack. I understand _**more**_ than you know." I spoke quietly like I would to a frightened horse. "This is… _**what you do**_."

.

He sat frozen in place, shocked and dismayed. He must've misunderstood me, thought I was accusing him of regularly being a monster.

.

I leaned forward and reached for his hand. "You do the things that _**need to be done**__," _I explained**.** "The things no one else can or will do. You always do what has to be done. This is no different." I gave him a gentle squeeze.

.

He clenched his eyes shut tightly trying to stave off the threat of moisture. But every time he closed his eyes, he flinched sharply because behind his lids images loomed—he saw their fresh innocent faces—the twelve lost children he'd sacrificed to a bunch of fucking monsters.

.

"**JACK, COME WITH ME."** I took his hand and dragged him out of his chair. I slipped his coat on and pulled him down the metal stairs. We were alone and it was late so I took a moment to shut down the hub. "Jack, redirect the rift detector to your wrist strap," I instructed him in a no-nonsense tone of voice that said I'd brook no arguments. "Come on," I said again. "You're driving. Go on." I pushed him out the door.

.

I changed my mind about him driving when I realized he could barely put one foot in front of the other. I slipped my hand into his deep pocket and pulled out the keys to the SUV. I opened the passenger side and pushed him towards the open door.

.

His eyes were focussed on the ground but they were unseeing. I drove out of the car park and on the way to my flat I stopped off at a corner grocery and bought us a ready-made roast chicken.

.

When we arrived at my flat Jack looked at me as if he'd just woken from a dream. "What are we doing? Where are we?" He looked around, confused.

.

"We're at my flat, Jack. Come on, we're going to eat this chicken. We need to eat and we need some time away from the hub."

.

He nodded in agreement but he didn't say anything else. I unlocked the door and hung up both our coats. I had to direct him to the kitchen. He was back to his dazed absent state again. We ate the chicken a bit mechanically but it was good and hearty and needed. I led him to the living room and put a comedy show on. It didn't make him laugh or smile but it didn't make it worse either. After only a half hour he'd laid his head back and closed his eyes. He was exhausted, emotionally more than physically. He needed someone to care for him, to keep him safe from his nightmares and self-recriminations. I grabbed a hold of his wrists and pulled him to his feet.

.

"I'm fine here," he protested.

.

"No, you're not. Come with me," I said. I didn't give him a choice. I led him to the bathroom and pushed him inside. "Do you want to brush your teeth?"

.

"Sure," he whispered offhandedly.

.

"Here, use mine. I don't mind." I pressed the toothbrush into his hand and then spread some paste on it as well.

.

"You sure?" He stood there looking at the toothbrush in his hand like he'd never seen one before.

.

I nodded.

.

"Thanks." He looked at me. He searched my face for some sign of hatred or judgement but he didn't find any. He rasped, "Thank–you–Ianto."

.

"You're welcome, Jack. Now, brush your teeth, go to the toilet and then go in there." I pointed to the open room across the hall. It was my room but he didn't know that.

.

He came wandering in a few moments later with some toothpaste smeared on the edge of his lip. I wiped it off with my finger and told him to have a seat. I quickly took care of my own ablutions and when I walked through the bedroom door, I realized that he'd taken me quite literally. He'd taken a seat on the edge of the bed and that was all.

.

I stood in front of him and then squatted down to look into his eyes. They were dull and flat and spoke volumes of trauma and guilt. He looked like someone who'd seen way too much. "Jack? Jack are you going to be all right?"

.

He nodded. "Of course. I'm sorry. I'd… I'd almost forgotten… I never thought I'd have to…"

.

"It's okay." I said quickly, cutting him off.

.

"How can you be okay with this?" he demanded of me, his voice incredulous.

.

"I know you Jack. You do your duty and you do what's in the best interest of the many."

.

"How can you?" He was shaking his head in disbelief.

.

"I just do. Now stand up. Come on… up." I commanded. He acquiesced and rose to his feet. I started undressing him and he stood there confused and hesitant.

.

"What are you doing? I mean I know what you're doing but why are you undressing me?" He wasn't resisting physically but he sure hadn't caught on to what was happening.

.

"Do you want to sleep in your clothes?" I used my uncle voice, the one specially reserved for patient explaining and the subtle manipulation of children.

.

"No," he admitted.

.

"Then get undressed." I continued stripping him of his many layers. I pulled his unbuttoned blue shirt off and pulled the white t-shirt over his head. "Take off your trousers." I moved over to my dresser and pulled out a couple of pairs of pyjama bottoms. Still facing the dresser, I got undressed and put on my favorite well-worn pair of pyjamas before returning to Jack.

.

He was standing a short distance behind me. He'd watched me undress and although he wasn't smiling or leering he was definitely more alert now than he'd been in hours.

.

"What?" I asked shortly.

.

"Nothing." He looked uncharacteristically apprehensive.

.

I sighed and passed him the other pair.

.

"Thank you." He held them up at eye level and inspected the festooned fabric. "Fire trucks?" He marveled.

.

"You have a problem with fire trucks?" I challenged.

.

He shook his head and adamantly denied having any problem with my second favorite fire truck pyjamas. I actually got a slight grin from that one. Once he'd gotten them on, he stood once again in the center of the room unsure of what was expected of him. "_Ah_…" He began, "Tosh told me I wasn't allowed to…" he paused and scratched his head, "_Mmm_… to ask you on a date yet…" he finished uncomfortably.

.

"Why's that?" _That was out of the blue,_ I thought. _What the hell is he talking about?_

.

"Colin," was his one word answer.

.

"Oh." And the light finally dawned. Of course she'd told him. "How'd you hear about that?" I asked rhetorically.

.

"I'm nosey," was all he would say.

.

"Yes, you are," I agreed, slightly amused.

.

"Was she right?" he asked.

.

"Yes." I nodded. "But this isn't a date. This is comfort," I explained. "I don't want you to be alone tonight. I've made you feel horrible. And I want you to… _**just shut your mouth," **_I blurted_**, "**_and get under the covers before I lose my temper," I finished unconvincingly.

.

"Okay." I saw his lips twitch fractionally but he schooled his face quickly. We snuggled under the cozy flannel sheets and pulled the goose down comforter up to our chins.

.

"Are you comfortable?" I asked. "Is the pillow alright?" I really did feel terrible for making him feel… so terrible.

.

"Sure. It's fine. I'm… very comfortable. Thank you." Jack had no idea what the rules were in a situation like this. _There really ought to be a manual_, he fumed.

.

"Good," I said quietly. I was getting drowsy.

.

"Ianto?" He apparently—was not.

.

"Yes, Jack." I nearly groaned. _How long was he going to keep talking?_

.

"Thank you." He whispered the words sincerely.

.

"You're welcome," I told him.

.

"Ianto?"

.

"Yes?" I had the feeling he wasn't going to let me get to sleep any time soon.

.

"I'm a bit of a cuddler," he warned. "I might end up spooning you in my sleep."

.

"You can spoon me if you want Jack," I mumbled.

.

"No… I mean… not intentionally," he protested. He'd been told that he was 'grabby' in bed—even asleep. There's no telling what he might grab onto with Ianto lying right next to him.

.

"Jack?" I sighed and opened my eyes.

.

"Yes," he said with some trepidation. He heard the change in my voice and he tensed.

.

"Do you want to spoon me?" I asked mildly.

.

He cleared his throat. "Yes."

.

"Then go ahead. I don't mind." I couldn't help grinning.

.

"Really?" He asked one last time.

.

"Really." Tosh must have really read him the riot act.

.

He slid over and molded his body to the back of mine. "Thank you," he whispered again.

.

"Good night, Jack."

.

"Good night, Ianto." And then finally he shut up long enough for me to fall asleep.

.

.

_**Continued in… 16 – In the Interests of You (and Me) **_


	25. C16 In the Interests of You and Me

_**16 – In the Interests of You (and Me)**_

.

**W/C:** 3306

**Warnings/spoilers/content**: some rude language, reference to TW3.1 Children of Earth, smexiness [slashy-romance-novel-like-smut]  
><strong>Summary<strong>: Don't you deserve a reward for trying to save the world?  
><strong>Characters<strong>: Ianto, immortal-Jack, OMC  
><strong>Ianto's New Timeline<strong>: December 15-22, 2005 (3rd month)

* * *

><p>.<p>

.

**HE HADN'T BEEN TROLLING IN AGES**. He hadn't had the urge. He scanned the darkened smoky room; his eyes searched for the right combination—dark hair—blue eyes—not too short—not too old. _There's one_, he thought. The potential turned around and Jack frowned. He wasn't the one, not even close. He craved something, something very specific. He needed to feel… something, a connection perhaps, a touch, a spark or maybe just a warm body. But every potential turned out to be wrong, especially up close.

.

He leaned against the sticky bar and nursed his drink. He rarely drank but tonight he'd made an exception. Hunger simmered, his eyes glittered like a starving predator, on the prowl in search of life-saving sustenance moments before his own demise. He surveyed the watering hole and calculated the odds.

It's dangerous at the watering hole. All prey know this, instinctively; their thirst drives them forward and potentially into the claws of death none-the-less. Any vulnerability is exploited by those stronger, fiercer or hungrier.

They were all starving animals here. They were all seeking something, needing something more than they already had and they were all desperate. He was desperately alone. His obsession had gone away, _only for a short time_ he told himself. The absence pained him and left an unfamiliar gaping hole gnawing at his insides.

.

"Love the coat." The lissom blonde rumbled in his ear. He'd seen Jack actively scoping out the club and had made his way across the crowded room to get a better look. _And hopefully_, he thought _to get a taste as well_.

.

Jack turned towards the voice to get a closer look at his admirer. He was slim and tall like a gazelle. His hair was the color of straw and fell stiffly to his shoulders and he was way too young. Jack met his eyes and thanked him for the compliment but he felt no spark, no flare of lust when he surveyed the young man. They stood at the bar and chatted politely while Jack slowly sipped his liquid hell-fire and dreamed of oblivion. The _too young—too thin—straw colored—gazelle_ invited Jack to join him at a more private locale but he declined; he couldn't even pretend. His heart just wasn't in it.

.

Normally, he'd slither between the pulsing bodies on the dance floor, enjoying the second-hand lust. Tonight, he steered clear, walked around the edge and made his way above ground, back into the night. It was late when he finally reached the hub but he was desperate so he sent a text message to the one person he wished he was with.

.

.

TW**X**DW

.

.

* * *

><p><em>TW Ianto's Journal TW Ianto's Journal TW<em>

* * *

><p><em>December 20, 2005 - London<em>

_._

_Got a text message from Jack tonight. Surprising to say the least. He said he missed me – was thinking of me. Not what I expected. Not at all. But I guess I shouldn't be so surprised. After all, he did spend the night, slept in my bed and didn't try a thing. Now that was surprising. I actually considered testing to see if he'd been body-snatched. I really need to talk to Tosh, find out what she said. _

.

_I've only been gone five days. Feels like forever. I hate hotel rooms. Too damn quiet. And the bed's too big. Makes me even lonelier. All I do is toss and turn. And dream. My dreams have been bloody insane. I've dreamt of Jack almost every night. They're vivid, in color and… way too erotic. _

_._

_I found what I was looking for today. I've got his name. Now I need to present it to Jack. _

_._

_**To do:**__ have another shower – damn dreams_

_**Not to do:**__ don't forget about blood types_

* * *

><p><em>TW Ianto's Journal TW Ianto's Journal TW<em>

* * *

><p>.<p>

.

TW**X**DW

.

.

**I'D BEEN GONE A WEEK**, just long enough to sneak around and get into the above top-secret archives so I could find the information I needed. Apparently, it was also long enough for Jack to miss me so much he nearly hugged the breath out of me when he picked me up at the airport.

.

"It's good to see you." He spoke through a great big grin.

.

"Ahh… you too Jack." I gasped for breath. "Need—to—breathe." I sputtered.

.

"Oh, sorry." He chuckled and loosened his grip then gradually put me down.

.

I must have rolled my eyes because he snorted.

.

"What? I missed you." He said in his defense.

.

I smiled so widely my face ought to have cracked. I wanted to say _I missed you too and I thought about you every single night and every single time I had a shower_… but I didn't. Instead, I said, "I missed you too."

.

"Come on… I'll take you out to dinner and you can tell me about your findings." His words tumbled out, full of excitement.

.

I was about to protest but my reasons seemed flimsy. I totally wanted to have dinner with him. I wanted to tell him all about what I found. But mostly I just wanted to spend time with him—alone.

.

"Did I mention I missed you?" Jack asked seriously.

.

"I think you may have." I grinned.

.

He grabbed my hand and held it tight swinging our arms back and forth playfully like a skipping rope. "Maybe, I could keep you company again tonight," he suggested tentatively.

.

I raised an eyebrow in question.

.

"You know…" he said quickly, "I haven't slept that well in… I don't know how long. Years." He was serious. It sounded more like a confession than a flimsy excuse to get me into bed.

.

I considered, weighed and then shrugged. "Maybe."

.

"Maybe?" He stopped abruptly, still grasping my hand.

.

I nodded and repeated my vague undecided non-answer. "Maybe."

.

He laughed fully, delightfully and his eyes dazzled. _It's a start_, he thought.

.

.

TW**X**DW

.

.

**HE TOOK ME TO A LITTLE BISTRO** that served a hearty, simple fare and it was exactly what I needed. I was famished; I realized while I read the menu. My stomach growled and reminded me I hadn't eaten on the plane. It was quiet and private too, which was also good.

.

I'd carried the hand-written notes on my person, not willing to risk anyone else seeing their contents. I'd uncovered the name and whereabouts of several key personnel involved in the 1965 transaction. The records were sketchy to say the least. Not exactly something you'd want to write a report on. For the most part, those involved just wanted to put the horrendous experience behind them. "But there were two people who were important," I explained. "We need to monitor them carefully. We need to stay ahead of them," I added. Jack nodded for me to go on. "A technician named Mr. Decker and Mr. Frobisher from Home Office."

.

"I know Frobisher," he replied.

.

"I know you do," I countered.

.

"What's he got to do with this?" He'd leaned forward anticipating my answer.

.

"I've written up a quick summary. Take a look." I passed him the single page. I'd written a simple summary of my findings. Just a few lines, things we needed to focus on.

_Summary of Research Notes:_

_ Alien race known as the 456, named for the wavelength they communicate on. The 456 appeared in 1965, made a secret deal with the British government. They offered a cure to a new strain of the Indonesian flu [predicted death toll: 25 million people] in exchange for 12 children._

_ - Decker works for John Frobisher _

_ - builds the god-dammed-fucking landing tank to 456 specs _

_ - they can control the air inside the building (alter plans?) and_

_ - they can kill everyone in Thames House (germ warfare)_

_ - need to monitor this frequency (Decker's job)_

_ -need to find this technician. Mr. Decker is trouble (long-term employee)_

_ -need to build a device that sends a destructive signal on the 456 wavelength_

Jack read my notes and quickly looked up. Deep worry lines etched his face. "Tell me about this landing tank," he urged.

.

_Damn,_ I thought. _Of course he'd pick up on that first_. "It's a big glass fish tank that's connected to a separate air supply and a bunch of computers." I said vaguely.

.

"Why would anyone build them a fish tank?" he wondered. "You don't send out the welcome wagon to the neighborhood thugs." He was confused and he looked at me intently. "They didn't build this thing in 1965," he pointed out.

.

"No, they didn't," I agreed. I gave him a steady gaze and folded my hands.

.

"But they're going to, aren't they?" He made the leap, like I knew he would.

.

I nodded, sighed and rolled my tense shoulders.

.

"You know this for a fact?" He prodded insistently.

.

I nodded and added, "Frobisher and Decker will, yes."

.

"Why would anyone in their right mind do that?" He was disgusted, exasperated and ready to start screaming.

.

"Fear of discovery I imagine would be at the top of the government's list. But stupidity and ignorance are probably more apt." The existence of the tank was important and I needed Jack to know about it but I knew sooner or later he'd demand more answers. I could see it in his eyes. The questions were beginning to form.

.

"You know I've got to ask." He spoke in a low, steady voice. "Have you seen this tank? Is it already built?" he added quickly.

.

_Shit_. _Keep it simple_, I thought. "I've seen a tank like this," I admitted with some reluctance. "But I don't think they've built it yet."

.

He frowned. My answer didn't clear things up at all. "Where did you see the tank?"

.

I winced, the muscles on my face twitched from an invisible slap. I pursed my lips together and tried to come up with an ambiguous yet plausible answer. It took me a few minutes and several deep breaths. He waited. "I have no idea how to explain that to you." I sighed. "I've seen it with my own eyes. That's really all I can say." It would have to be enough because that's all I could give him at this point.

.

"Are you psychic? Can you see the future?" he blurted.

.

I started. "What?" I shrugged and struggled for composure but lost. "What the hell are you talking about?" I demanded in unmitigated confusion.

.

"Well, it would explain how you know stuff," he explained patiently. "You said you only travelled that once with _our friend_ so I doubt you got all this information from time travel…" he trailed off.

.

A wide grin curled my mouth. I'd expected a few guesses but not this one. "No. Not psychic." I shook my head. "And you're right. I only travelled that once." I smiled into my coffee cup and my eyes glittered mischievously.

.

"So did you check his records? Is that how you know?" he pressed on in all seriousness. He'd obviously given this a lot of thought. _Dog with a bone_, I reminded myself.

.

"No, I didn't snoop in the Doctor's records. Good idea though." I shrugged at his shocked look. "What? It's a great idea. Don't tell me you weren't tempted!" I challenged his innocent look.

.

A head tilt and a raised eyebrow told me he _had_ been tempted. "Then how? How can you know what they're going to do?" He responded to my concerned frown. "Don't worry. I believe you. I just… want to know where you get your information." He narrowed his eyes. "Do you have a vortex manipulator?" He asked with some suspicion.

.

"No. Of course not," I insisted. "I don't have a wrist-strap-thingy. _Nothing like that."_ I shook my head and waved a hand through the air in exasperation.

.

"Does someone else tell you? Is that it? You have a friend with foreknowledge?" he asked in rapid fire.

.

I shook my head in denial and looked out the window. I was looking for a way to end this secrecy but I just couldn't see one.

.

"If I guessed it, would you tell me if I was right?" he asked finally.

.

I considered his question seriously and came to a conclusion rather quickly. I nodded. "You know, I would. If you guessed—exactly right—I'd tell you." I nodded and forced a tight little smile.

.

His brows scrunched together in consternation and his mind scrambled for another alternative.

.

I scanned the room, making sure we were alone before I spoke in low tones. "But you'll never guess, Jack. It's insane. It's totally impossible to imagine. And if I told you, you'd never believe me."

.

"I'll figure it out," he promised. "And you'd be surprised what I'd believe," he added at last.

.

**WE DROVE BACK TO MY FLAT** and once there Jack insisted on carrying my suitcase in for me. He flirted outrageously and with a cheeky grin, he brought the bag into my bedroom. I may have mocked his transparency with one or more brow lifts. "What?" he asked indignantly. "Isn't this where your clothes belong?" He was all innocence.

.

"Yes, Jack. My clothes do belong in my bedroom." I sighed and rolled my eyes dramatically. "I'm sure your thoroughness has nothing to do with my bed being here at all."

.

He gasped and a poor approximation of horror colored his face. "What? Me? I would never!" he insisted.

.

I just shook my head as I wandered out the door.

.

He followed speedily snickering behind me. "Just to prove it to you…" he added mischievously, "I'll stay out here, in the living room, _**far far**_ away from your bed." He dropped down on the sofa, his arm draped over the back, legs spread wide and a thousand megawatt grin lit up his face.

.

"Do I need to call Tosh, Jack? Do you need a chaperone?" I taunted dangerously. First, he scowled, then he fluttered his eyelashes at me and finally he stuck out his bottom lip slightly. _Oh curses_, I thought. _Why does he have to be so damn sexy_?

.

I joined him on the sofa for a drink and a movie. I'd had a long day full of travel and subterfuge; within a half hour, I was leaning heavily against Jack. Ten minutes after that and I was using his lap as a pillow. I just couldn't keep my body upright. I curled up on my side and snuggled into his thighs, trying to get more comfortable. He seemed uneasy and fidgety, unable to sit still.

.

"Is this alright, Jack? Do you want me to move?" I asked lazily.

.

He looked down at me to respond but what he saw stopped him short, my hair in disarray, eyes heavy-lidded, skin flushed and lips stained with wine. He growled and rolled me onto my back. He leaned down, caught my bottom lip between his teeth. After one quick nip, he sank in, drew me close and we spiraled together into the deep steamy depths of lust and need. My initial reticence slid away quickly and my body woke to the taste of him. Time stood still and I was lost.

.

He yanked my shirt over my head and let it fly through the air as he lowered his head, with a hint of teeth, to my neck. I arched my head to the side, urging him on. There was a power building here, grown from need and longing, it sparked and burned wherever he touched.

.

Strong, determined hands gripped me and our bodies collided roughly. The surge I felt only made me realize how much I'd missed his touch. We'd been apart for too long. We had something, when we were together, something that couldn't exist otherwise.

.

With our bodies melded together, I could feel his emotions if I focussed hard enough and they erupted, poured forth in a tidal wave that engulfed us both. There was lust and need and want. And there was something else entirely. _Love_, I fancied, _it might be love after all_.

.

I could take it. I could take it all. I'd take anything he'd give me—a handful of silken hair—a ripple of muscle—as I finally dragged off his shirt. I could feel the pounding of his heart and I knew as we fell to the floor we'd both come out on top at the end of this little battle.

.

He made me chuckle and then he made me gasp as skin slid against skin, finally barrier free. His eager touch made my blood boil and my skin tingle. And when he wrapped his strong, warm body around me, found and captured my mouth I could taste the torrent of lust and love and longing.

.

So intoxicating, so strong, those magnificent pheromones. His body moved under mine then over, so agile and quick and his scent surrounded me. His mouth hummed and his hands swept over me drowning me in sensation. With slick fingers, he teased and tormented until I begged and pleaded for more. My pulse thrummed loudly in my ears as he filled me. I heard him promise that he'd drive me up and over until I broke apart and lost control. He was unrelenting as he rode along with me, up and down. "Oh yes!" He shouted hoarsely. "So hot," he gasped. "So tight," he moaned.

.

My body stretched taut as a bow as he begged me to break with him. I opened myself for him as I never had before; I gave him all of me—mind, body and soul. We rose and fell together in a brutal rhythm until our pleasure peaked and we couldn't take another drop. I chanted his name as I fell apart in his arms. We finally broke and when the rush came, it washed us away, leaving our bodies limp and sated.

.

Curled against him, warm, naked and replete, it occurred to me that Tosh would surely give us an earful about rushing into a physical relationship. I sighed and mumbled, "Tosh is gonna kill us."

.

He groaned and pulled me tighter. "You'll defend me, won't you?" He spoke into my ear, his voice rumbled through me, warm and blissfully relaxed.

.

"We'll defend each other, Jack." I still felt a strong emotional connection, felt his emotions running wild. I wondered if he felt it too.

.

"Yep," he agreed, a smile in his voice. "We'll take care of each other."

.

**I WOKE THE NEXT MORNING GROGGY-EYED AND WARM** with strong arms wrapped around my body. My head was cradled between his bicep and the crook of his arm. The hand at the other end of my pillow gripped my shoulder lightly. His other arm had snaked over my waist and was pressed flat up against my chest. It was hard to tell where my body ended and his began.

.

My back felt like it'd been warmed in an Easy-Bake-Oven over night. His breath was slow and even as it tickled the back of my neck but the chances of him actually being asleep when I wasn't were slim to none. Whether he was awake was debatable but certain parts of his body were definitely awake and ready to… greet the day.

.

He must have heard the ticking of my mind because he mumbled "_Mm'ning,_" into the back of my neck. His breath ruffled wisps and left tingles in its wake. He nuzzled into the base of my spine running his nose and lips over a small yet incredibly sensitive patch of skin. A tremble shuttered through my body in response and I sighed without realizing it.

.

"Good morning, Jack," I groaned back. I'd inadvertently wiggled and lodged myself even tighter into his spooning form.

.

"I missed you," he murmured, "You were gone such a long time."

_._

_It was an eternity_, I thought, _and you have no idea what I've gone through to get back into your arms_. Aloud I said, "It was only a week."

.

"Long enough," he insisted and hugged me even tighter.

.

I sighed, "Ya, your right. Long enough."

.

With his arms wrapped around me, I felt safe and I let my mind wander aimlessly_. Even now_, _after all this time,_ I thought, _his touch, his breath, the stroke of his voice, could melt my insides and set me on fire._ He was _the one_, my body knew it and so did my heart. But the million-dollar question was, was he ready to be my Jack?

**.**

_**Continued in… 17 – The End is Nigh? **_


	26. C17 The End is Nigh?

**_17 –The End is Nigh_**?

.

**W/C:** 5057  
><strong>Warningsspoilers/content**: spoilers for DW2.0 The Christmas Invasion, just a smidge of smexiness [slashy-romance-novel-smut], profanity  
><strong>Summary<strong>: Ianto comes back from his trip and things get messy.  
><strong>Characters<strong>: Ianto, immortal-Jack, Tosh, Owen  
><strong>Ianto's New Timeline<strong>: December 23, 2005 (3rd month)

* * *

><p>.<p>

**WE WALKED INTO THE HUB TOGETHER**, hand in hand, our arms swinging foolishly between us. Jack's eyes glittered when they met mine. We were making a bold statement and we both knew it. It wasn't just a fling, a secret part-time shag or a friends-with-benefits situation this was the start of something real. I didn't even try to untangle our entwined fingers, not even when Tosh and Owen stared open-mouthed and silent. I smiled at them a little shyly as we walked past. I headed straight for the kitchen as I usually did and told him I'd make us some coffee but he still wouldn't let go of my hand. "I'll need that back if you want a cup of coffee, _**Sir**_." I told him, tongue in cheek.

.

Jack smirked at that and reluctantly let go. Then he winked playfully and darted in for a quick kiss before he strode off to his office. He had a bounce in his step and whistled while he made his way up the stairs.

.

Then as if by magic, both Tosh and Owen appeared by my side in a flash. "Ianto." Came Tosh's sing-song voice. I could hear the grin without looking up.

.

I busied myself with the coffee and stubbornly avoided their eyes. "Tosh. Owen. Coffee?" I asked politely.

.

"God—Yes!" exclaimed Owen. "Glad you're back," he added. "You wouldn't believe the sludge we've had to drink while you've been off gallivanting around London. Jack's brew is absolute shite—"

.

"—That was quite an entrance! So… spill." Tosh interjected, obviously unable to contain herself a moment longer.

.

"I have to admit. I'm with Tosh. Spill it. What's up with you two? I thought—"

.

Tosh interrupted again. "—Shhh. Let him tell it."

.

I raised my eyebrows, a little taken aback by her snappiness. Judging from Tosh's determined stance 'spilling' would be inevitable so I resigned myself to that fact and cleared my throat.

.

"Stop stalling. Get on with it." Owen prodded mercilessly.

.

"Well…" I began, "We're…" I rolled my eyes. I had no idea how to explain this. "We're seeing each other?" I shrugged.

.

They looked at each other meaningfully. "I told you." Owen gloated and held out his right hand palm-up.

.

"Shit!" exclaimed Tosh. She reached into her pocket and pulled out a wad of cash. She slapped a crumpled twenty into his hand and scowled. She looked at me accusingly and protested, "You couldn't wait—like a day?" She shook her head in disgust.

.

"You bet… on us?" I was shocked but I shouldn't have been. Whom was I kidding? "What was the bet?" I asked Owen.

.

He smiled, quite pleased with himself. "I bet Tosh a twenty you two'd shag before you even got in this morning."

.

"You what?" I screeched.

.

"You did, did you?" Jack added his two cents from up above. He'd been standing at the railing, listening unseen.

.

Tosh's hands flew to her face in guilty horror and my entire upper body went a striking florid hue. I groaned in embarrassment as quietly as I could. Owen flinched slightly and bit the inside of his cheek. Slyly, he looked up at Jack. I imagine he was trying to gage his mood from the expression on his face. I had my back to Jack but judging from Owen's reaction it wasn't good.

.

Jack focussed his steely gaze laser beam sharp and burnt a hole between Owen's eyes. "Do we need to have a chat Owen?" Jack's meaning was clear. His voice held a dangerous edge.

.

"No. I don't think so." He answered tentatively, hopefully.

.

I knew Jack's eyes had settled upon my back. Without turning, I shook my head subtly side-to-side to tell him it was okay, then thankfully, I heard his relieved outward breath. Jack looked from Owen to me pointedly, raised a brow and threw in a stern chin point my way for good measure. I heard him push off from the rail and stomp back to his office, the door _snicked_ shut behind him.

.

"Shit. Sorry Ianto. I didn't mean to embarrass you like that." Owen apologized quietly with downcast eyes.

.

I sighed and nodded. "It's alright mate. I just wish _he_ hadn't heard that."

.

"You and me both," he concurred ruefully. He looked genuinely sorry for being a prat and it was refreshing. He waited a few seconds before continuing. "He's been whinging all week." Owen confided conspiratorially, just above a whisper.

.

"How do you mean?" I passed Tosh her mug and then him. She smiled and murmured her thanks.

.

"Well, the first day he just went on about how much he missed your coffee every ten minutes or so." Their eyes met and they shared a meaningful look. "After that, he started coming down here to sit in your blooming chair. He just sat there and kind of… sniffed your desk." Shock and disbelief sent my eyes wide and I searched his for any trace of dishonesty. He nodded and tried to convey the depth of his suffering by assuming a martyrs stance, arms wide in humble supplication. Tosh drew my attention back to her with a snort and burst of chortling.

.

"Oh ya, that was fun," added Tosh sarcastically. "He is such a pain in the ass when he hovers."

.

"I know. I was tripping over him all day," Owen said in disgust. "Let's just say… after the fifth day he was unbearable." In unison, they made a face of knowing pity.

.

Tosh shook her head in mild chagrin. She couldn't get over what an ass-can Jack had been while I was away. She took a sip of coffee and let out a slightly filthy moan in appreciation. "Oh that is so good." She couldn't remember when she'd become so reliant on my coffee. She supposed it was irrelevant because she was addicted now good and proper.

.

Owen chuckled. "I have to admit," he said between sips, "I missed you too… and not just for your coffee. Haven't had a decent conversation since you left. Between these two it's either techno-talk or those unending-alien-anecdotes." He grinned and added, "But it is bloody fantastic." He hugged his mug and sighed.

.

Tosh filled the lull by changing the subject. "So how was your trip?" She could barely restrain her curiosity.

.

I took a sip, stalling. "Very… informative." I answered evasively. "Hopefully, I'll be able to fill you both in soon," I added. A look passed between them but they remained silent. "Well, I'll see you both in a few." I picked up our mug's and headed up to his office. I knocked, waited for his "Enter" and then slipped in.

.

**HE STOOD UP AS SOON AS HE SAW ME.** I handed him his mug, which he took gratefully. He took a good long pull, closed his eyes, then moaned a little louder and a whole lot filthier than Tosh did, sending jolts of lust straight for my groin. Then he set the mug down on his desk. He took mine as well leaving my hands free. He stepped in close and hugged me, slotting our bodies together. "I'm sorry about that." He apologized quietly. "I hope you're not too uncomfortable?" he ventured. "You know… about us walking in together. About them knowing?" He was worried about my reaction, worried that I'd freak-out, bolt or change my mind.

.

I shook my head and smiled reassuringly. "Nah, it's okay, Jack. Just a bit embarrassed about their bet, is all." I snuggled closer.

.

His eyes darkened and narrowed at the mention of the bet but he looked relieved by my reaction. He leaned close, a hair's breadth away. "Good." He licked his lips. "Because I have no intention of hiding my affection for you." I smiled, his declaration made my heart sing. I gave in to impulse and kissed him gently. My lips brushed his, warm breath ghosted lightly over his soft lips. Our physical contact had a rather rewarding side effect; his mind opened up to mine once more.

.

I hadn't been certain at first. To be fair, I thought maybe I'd just imagined it in in the throes of passion. But now I was. I could feel his emotions if they were strong enough, especially if we were touching. Suddenly, I felt a little guilty. I hadn't told him yet. But how exactly does one broach the subject? By the way Jack, I can sense your emotions. _A bit direct_, I thought. Excuse me Jack… I seem to have developed a touch of empathy. _Too ridiculous for words,_ I scoffed.

.

He pulled back from the kiss just then. He must have felt me tense. He looked concerned and a bit hesitant. _I wonder… does he feel it too?_ I considered the ramifications of that.

.

"You all right?" he asked. He checked my eyes, looking for a sign.

.

I nodded and smiled. He didn't look all that convinced but we had work to do. Within a heartbeat, we'd switched out of _madly-desperately-wanting-you-naked_ mode and into _problem-solving-saving-the-world_ mode. We're Torchwood; that's what we do.

.

He motioned to the chair opposite his. "Tell me more about your research" He sat at attention and waited for the rest of my story.

.

I considered the crux of our problem. "We need to develop a device Jack." I took out the rest of my notes and mentally prepared my argument. "The others don't need to know about your involvement but we do need their help to build this thing." I wasn't even sure if we would be able to whip this one up. It was a doozy. "This is one of those _most-important-moments-of-your-life_ type things and we need all the help we can get."

.

I saw through his poorly constructed façade and terror boiled beneath. Having to tell them would be horrible enough but _them finding out_… that would be way worse. He was so ashamed of his involvement. He'd been a different man back then, cold, angry and apathetic. He didn't want to dredge up that person and all the things he did. "I know what you're saying. And I agree. We'll need them. Especially Tosh. But I just can't… not yet. Please… give me some more time." He sounded raw, exposed and afraid.

.

I nodded. I didn't push. I knew he'd come around. _Time_, I thought, _we have a little more_. I moved on to the next point. "And we need to find him." I pointed to the photo clipped to the front flap of the file folder. "I think Clem McDonald is the key to finding the right frequency."

.

He stared at the photo closely. His eyes narrowed, flicked up and I could see him trying to steady himself. The photo, taken in 1965, had faded somewhat but he recognized the little boy looking back at him. In those eyes, that face, Jack saw his nightmare come to life. They'd taken their photos _for the record_. When I first found it, I'd cried. I knew this would absolutely kill Jack, seeing their faces again but I felt Clem McDonald was the key to everything.

.

White lipped, Jack held the photo between his fingertips gingerly, as if it were a livewire. "What do you mean? He's the key to what?" Pain distorted his voice.

.

I gasped, realized belatedly; I'd forgotten an essential piece of information. "Clem McDonald is alive," I said quickly, "Here on Earth. He got left behind somehow. He… he didn't keep up with the group and I guess he didn't make it to the transport site in time." I explained in concerned measured tones. He was growing intensely pale. This was a blow, as I knew it would be.

.

"I remember him." He whispered and carefully put the photo down on his desk. "_Oh_," he lamented, "I remember him. He's in my nightmares. He was so scared." His voice caught and a single tear erupted and poured down his cheek.

.

I saw his pain, knew it was great but I couldn't relent—not on this. "They're coming back and next time they'll want more than we can give. The consequences are grimmer than anything even you can possibly imagine. Let me do this Jack; let me save us. I need your help." I pleaded for our lives.

.

"How soon?" He struggled to get the words out.

.

"We have some time." I told him solemnly. "If we start now we might be ready in time."

.

**AFTER LUNCH, I SAUNTERED INTO JACK'S OFFICE** and saw he was still working on that heinous pile of overdue paperwork from last week. The look of relief was so intense when he saw me I had to laugh. "Oh thank goodness! Ianto, what do you need? Please say you need something… anything that'll take me far, far away from here." He pleaded pathetically. He hated paper work more than anything.

.

I smiled gamely. "Just a quick question." I tried for casual. "Do you have any close friends or family with an A-Positive blood type?" Apparently, I totally suck at casual.

.

He looked back at me, his expression completely blank. Jack was suspicious by nature and it was a hard habit to break. For him it was an extremely personal question. He suspected I was asking about his daughter or grandson so instead of answering he kept silent and focussed on schooling his face.

.

It wasn't the reaction I'd feared or even hoped for so I changed tactics. I closed the door and stood before his desk with my hands in my pockets. "I'm serious. It's important Jack." That phrase had become a code of sorts. It was my way of letting him know it was 'one of those situations' and this information might just save a life.

.

He sighed loudly. "Christmas is going to be busy." He echoed my words from a few weeks ago back at me. "I was waiting for the other shoe to drop." He muttered with annoyance.

.

"It's not _**my **_fault!" I protested. "Don't look at _**me **_like it's _**my doing**_!" I was getting frustrated and it was slipping out into my conversations with the team.

.

Jack flinched and leaned back, his face relaxed. "Sorry. Of course. I was mostly joking," he added quickly.

.

I spun around, stood at the window overlooking the hub, took a deep steadying breath. _Calm down,_ I told myself sternly. _You're being a dick._ I apologized without turning. "Sorry Jack. Just tired. And seriously frustrated." It had been a long week and it certainly wasn't over with yet. I'd really wanted to spend Christmas at Rhi's but chances of that happening were slim to none this year.

.

He stood up and crossed the room in a few steps. He ran his hands up my arms soothingly. "I'm not A-Positive and neither is anyone in my… _family_." He very nearly whispered the last word and I almost spun around in shock. I really hadn't expected him to share his family with me at this point in our relationship. He'd always been so protective of that particular secret. I held my peace as I held my breath. I nodded. "How about close friends? Someone you'd like to protect from danger?"

.

He turned me around, his hands gripping my arms still.

.

**TOSH LOOKED UP AT JACK'S OFFICE**. She saw me standing at the window looking down over the hub; my face was tense and afraid. She watched as he turned me around and forced me to look at him. His face was stern, worried and it made her stomach clench. "Oh, shit." She uttered loudly. She immediately started a search through media feeds worldwide looking for signs of some sort of imminent disaster.

.

Owen raised his head when he heard Tosh swear. "What is it Tosh?" He walked over to her quickly and placed a hand on her shoulder. He bent down and looked closely at her computer screen trying to figure out what was causing her distress.

.

"Look up, at them." She motioned towards Jack's office with her head, her hands never stopping their frantic typing. "Never a good sign. That's Ianto's 'the end is nigh' face."

.

"Shit. You're right." He squeezed her shoulder gently with one hand, lending his mental support. "I'll get my kit ready." He dropped his hand and made to turn but hesitated. "Unless… you need my help with anything?"

.

She stopped typing, turned, looked up at him thoughtfully and smiled. "No. Thank you Owen. I haven't figured it out yet." Her eyes glittered.

.

"Just let me know, yeah?" He gave her shoulder one last pat then hurried to the med bay.

.

"**TELL ME**," he whispered. "Trust me," he begged.

.

Our eyes locked and I leaned forward. We met somewhere in the middle and the room, the Universe disappeared. His mouth was hot and wet, his tongue demanding. His hands slid up to my face; he caressed my cheek and then held me gently. I wrapped my arms around him, pulling him closer still. My only thought was _closer, I need to be closer_. My hands raked over his muscled back and continued downward until they gripped his arse then I ground his groin up against mine. The friction was delicious and he moaned into my mouth.

**.**

**OWEN SAUNTERED BACK TO TOSH'S WORKSTATION WITH PURPOSE**. "Come on Tosh. You look too stressed. Let's just ask them. I'm tired of always being in the dark."

.

She jutted out her chin and nodded in agreement. She was damn tired of it too. "Damn right. Let's go." She slammed her chair under her desk with a little too much force causing her to flinch at the loud noise. She snickered and so did Owen.

.

They were storming up the stairs, confrontation the only thing on their minds. "Do you want to do the talking or should I?" Owen asked under his breath.

.

"Maybe you…" She stopped mid-step, mid-word, dead in her tracks. "Oh… my..." The sight made her blush and heated her skin but her eyes were locked; she couldn't look away.

.

"Fackin' 'ell," uttered Owen. He too was surprised and unable (or unwilling) to look away.

.

"They look busy." Tosh managed, just barely to contain the sudden spike of lust and keep it out of her voice.

.

Owen cleared his throat and became keenly aware of Tosh's nearness.

.

They stood there, frozen, eyes locked on the steamy scene before them, their arousal building steadily.

.

"Christ… I'm gonna need a cold shower." Owen muttered and chanced a glance at Tosh. "Or a shag," he added more quietly. His eyes raked over her body, they greedily tracked her every curve. Lately, he'd started seeing her in a different light.

.

She caught him staring and blushed a deeper shade of lust. _Well_, she thought, _either we break them up now… or we end up having an orgy. Not a bad idea_, she mused. _End of the world Tosh_, she reminded herself. _Not the time. Damn,_ was her last thought before she opened the door to Jack's office and loudly cleared her throat. The moment she entered his office she was hit by a wave of Jack's pheromones. _No wonder_, she thought. _My mind is getting completely muddled even from smelling second-hand-Jack. No wonder he has them falling at his feet_. Nervously, she cleared her throat again, more loudly. We hadn't even noticed her yet. "Uhm, guys. Is something happening? You know like the end of the world?" Owen stood, silent and more than a little aroused at her side.

.

Her voice broke through our lusty fog and I nearly fell over trying to collect myself. "Oh, shit." I uttered the curse a little too loudly. _Oh, that's just perfect_, I thought, _Owen and Tosh. Just perfect_. "Uhm… sorry." I was flustered and embarrassed and Jack just stood there, leaning up against the window like nothing had happened. He still had his sex-face on and it certainly wasn't helping matters any. I had to force myself to look away from his gale-force-seduction-eyes. Owen and Tosh were standing in the doorway. Strangely enough, neither one was smiling (mocking) as I'd expected them to be. They did however look like they'd enjoyed the show, perhaps a little too much for my tastes.

.

"Man, it smells good in here," exclaimed Owen. He frowned, startled that he'd said that aloud. He shook his head, spun on his heels and abandoned Tosh to her fate. Muttering, he made his way down the steps quite quickly and went directly to the washroom.

.

"What is it Tosh?" Jack asked, his eyes still gleaming. "Did you want to join us?" He stood leaning against the wall, hand on hip, an eyebrow flicked high in a way that said he was trying to be alluring. On almost anyone else, that expression would look quite comical.

.

She giggled and blushed some more. "Well…" she began. She shook her head, trying to clear her muddled mind. "Maybe another time." She looked at me and grinned. Jack smirked and wiggled his eyebrows playfully. She grinned even wider. Then she gathered her wits. "I saw that look Ianto gets. You know… that one he gets when the world is about to end… again." She looked quickly between us, obviously trying to gauge the likelihood of the world actually ending today.

.

I smiled grimly. _Wow, she's quick_, I thought. I nodded to Jack and smiled apologetically. "Let's use the boardroom okay, Jack?" I suggested. We needed to get out of his office. It was straining my resolve and seriously compromising my ability to produce rational thought. It had already affected Owen and caused him to run away. Tosh was flushed and had a vacant dreamy look on her usually intelligent looking face. I smiled at that thought. She'd be pissed if I said that out loud.

.

We assembled in the boardroom after a few minutes, after everyone'd had a chance to compose themselves. Jack was still grinning like a loon looking quite pleased with himself. He'd enjoyed himself way too much, always the exhibitionist. Owen came in last. He stood on the threshold and tentatively sniffed the air before he entered. He took the seat next to Tosh, which also happened to be the seat furthest from Jack. _He knows about the pheromones_, I realized. It made sense. He was Jack's doctor after all.

.

Their eyes turned to Jack looking for answers but he shook his head and looked pointedly at me. Their eyes followed his and their confusion was obvious.

.

I realized that in my haste, I'd checked all my friends and family but I'd forgotten about _**our**_ blood types. I kicked myself. "Owen?"

.

"Ya?" he was a little pink around the edges, I noticed. He displayed other signs of arousal as well. He licked his lips and his eyes darted between Jack and me.

.

My eyes went wide when I realized how turned on he was by our… display and he averted his eyes. "Do you know our blood types off hand?" I schooled my voice, all business.

.

Despite his embarrassment, he rattled off our blood types without pause then looked at me and waited for an explanation.

.

I glanced at Tosh and then back to Owen. "Tosh is A-positive? You're sure?"

.

He nodded and frowned.

.

"Shit." I swore quietly. I looked at Jack and his eyes narrowed.

.

He looked at her with concern and tensed in anticipation. "What? Just, tell me." He demanded quickly.

.

I nodded. It was time to come out with it. "We'll need to sedate Tosh… before Christmas morning." I told him.

.

"What?" she screeched.

.

"I'm sorry Tosh. It's just to protect you from harm. Listen, by about midnight on Christmas 'Eve all hell's going to break loose." I loaded my words with as much compassion and concern as I could muster. It had very little effect. She was freaked. I turned to Jack and asked, "Do you know the Sycorax?"

.

He frowned and nodded. He accessed the files on his wrist-strap and projected the information on the nearby wall screen. Tosh stood up, planted her hands on the table and quickly scanned the information displayed on the screen. As she read, her face fell. She sat back down and whether she meant to or not, she slid her chair closer to Owen's. Jack hadn't said a word but he looked nervous. He was reading something on his mini-screen and I guessed it was a bit of information he hadn't put up on the main screen for everyone else to see.

.

Owen noticed too. He scowled at Jack. "What is it Jack? What aren't you telling us?" Owen demanded.

.

Jack didn't hesitate. "They're pretty violent. Intergalactic thugs. Like to… _colonize_." He replied with a tight face and a strained voice.

.

Owen flinched and looked at me. "And what do you know?" He asked me with a bit more exasperation.

.

"They use blood control to freak out the masses," I explained. Jack nodded as the pieces started slotting into place. "They got a sample from inside the Guinevere One Space Probe we sent out. You know… they put samples in it, minerals, plants and genetic material." I explained calmly.

.

"That's… that's just stupid!" exclaimed Owen. We all nodded. It was like… well… like we (the planet) were just asking for this kind of thing.

.

Jack thought a moment, cursed under his breath. Then he nodded and closed his eyes tightly for just a moment before turning to Tosh. "Tosh, I need you to trust me. Trust Ianto."

.

She looked from him to me and then back again. The idea that we wanted to sedate her brought only one thing to mind—Suzie. Well maybe two—Suzie and her UNIT cell.

.

I could feel her fear, it was intense. "You don't have to be afraid Tosh." I reached for her hand, took it in mine. "I'm just worried about your safety. They have the ability to make people with A-Positive blood do things they don't want to do."

.

"Like what?" Jack asked, his voice steady but dangerous. He wanted it spelled out for the team.

.

I paused for a moment. "Like… say… make all the people on Earth with that blood type… climb the nearest building and stand on the edge of the roof."

.

"Why would they—" Owen started to ask.

.

"—Control," interrupted Jack. "Do as we say or we make them all jump." He gave me a questioning look. "Something like that?"

.

I nodded. "Yep. Something like that," I agreed.

.

Jack wanted to ask. He wanted desperately to ask. But he sure as hell couldn't ask in front of Owen and Tosh. _How the hell can you know that Ianto!_ He'd need to wait until we were alone.

.

"About thirty-six hours then?" He wanted to clarify. Jack didn't want to wait too long.

.

"Thirty-two until they make contact and their demands. And they'll probably use their blood control technology by 6 AM at the latest." I corrected. I felt better erring on the side of caution.

.

Jack nodded. His mind was reeling. He couldn't for the life of him, think how we'd thwart the Sycorax. We just didn't have the firepower. We had no orbital defenses. We were sitting ducks—the lot of us.

.

Jack spent the good part of an hour in his office on the phone. He had a contact at UNIT and another at Torchwood One. They hadn't heard anything.

.

Then he called Tosh and me up to his office. "I need you and Tosh in the archives," he told us. "Go over the list of alien weapons we have in storage. See if you can find something useful."

.

Owen knocked on the door just as we were finishing up. "Anything new?" He looked at us hopefully.

.

Jack shook his head. "No, nothing." He looked pointedly at us and we nodded.

.

"We'll get started." Tosh and I went down into the archives and tried to find something that could save the planet.

.

Jack waved Owen into his office, motioned towards the chair. "Owen, let's talk sedatives. Do you have something that won't do her any damage?

.

"Sure. I can set something relatively safe up. Not for long-term-use mind you." Owen was flipping through his mental catalogue of medical supplies both Earth and alien varieties.

.

"What about physical restraints?" Jack added. "Do we have those? Something that won't hurt her?" He was concerned for Tosh's safety, we all were.

.

"Ya, sure." Owen was preparing the necessary elements in his head.

.

It was growing late and we were out of ideas and running out of resources. Tosh and Owen had gone home after fruitless hours of searching and planning. Jack was pacing the walls. When I finally found him, he was in the green house. He turned to me, looking extremely uncomfortable. "What about the Doctor," he whispered. He hated having to ask me.

.

"I was just about to say the same thing, Jack." I smiled and caressed his back. "I'll give his number a try." I hit speed dial 42 and waited. He didn't answer. I waited twenty minutes and tried again, still no answer. "He must be busy."

.

Jack shrugged and sighed loudly. He was frustrated, feeling useless and at a loss for ideas. "Keep trying, okay?" he asked.

.

"Of course." I agreed happily.

.

"In the meantime," he said while reaching for my hand. "Let's grab dinner." We walked out together and found a nearby pub. Over dinner, Jack lingered over his food and nursed his pint but said very little. He appeared thoughtful, like something was on his mind but he was hesitant.

.

I was ready to pack it in but I didn't want to leave without Jack. "Do you want to come back to mine Jack?" I offered tentatively. I didn't know if he wanted to be away from the hub tonight.

.

"Thank you. I'd love to." He jumped at the offer. "I'm glad you asked." A smile crept onto his face. "Actually, I was hoping you would." He confessed a little guiltily.

.

"I wasn't sure," I admitted. "Thought you might want to be at the hub tonight… just in case."

.

He looked surprised. "Do we need to? Do you think we should?" he asked in quick succession.

.

I stopped him before he could wind himself up any tighter. "No, no Jack. We can't do anything else tonight." I smiled, reassured him. "Let's get some time away while we can." I added, "I need some time away." I sighed heavily.

.

"Do you mean by yourself?" he asked uncertainly.

.

"No, not at all. I mean with you." I clarified. He smiled brightly at that. We went home and slipped into bed with very little preamble.

.

"Wanna finish what we started in my office?" He offered, his voice silky smooth and full of promise.

.

"I kind of forgot where we were at the time, to tell the truth." I chuckled remembering the looks on both Owen and Tosh's faces.

.

"I think Tosh might've joined us… if Owen weren't there and… you know… no end of the world." He said between nips and nibbles on my earlobe.

.

"Well, I can't blame her. We're ridiculously hot." I told him between gasps.

.

"Remind me to pursue that at a later time," he murmured lazily against my collarbone. That was the last coherent thought he had. Over the next few hours, I did my very best to help Jack loose himself in sensation. For a time, we forget about our messy little Torchwood ridden lives.

_**.**_

_**Continued in… 18 – Last Man Standing**_


	27. C18 Last Man Standing

_**18 - Last Man Standing**_

**W/C:** 4532  
><strong>Warningsspoilers/content**: spoilers for DW1.13-The Parting of the Ways, smexiness [slashy-romance-novel-smut], profanity, some violence and death  
><strong>Summary<strong>: Everything is happening now, somewhere.  
><strong>Characters<strong>: Ianto, immortal-Jack, Tosh, Owen, Rhi, Inspector Donaldson, Jackie, Mickey, Lynda, mortal-Jack, 9th Doctor, a bunch of Daleks  
><strong>Ianto's New Timeline<strong>: December 24, 2005 (3rd month)  
><strong>AN:**This chapter follows the script for the episode DW1.13, which I found online.

* * *

><p><em>"Everything is happening now, somewhere."<em>

—_unknown_

DECEMBER 24, 2005

**OWEN PUT A PROTECTIVE HAND ON HER SHOULDER**. He angled his body between her and me defensively. He'd become more protective of her over the last few days. I noticed that they'd come in at the same time this morning. Apparently, Owen had picked her up on his way over.

I tried to reassure him but he was confused and suspicious. "Don't worry Owen. She'll be all right as long as we keep her in the hub. We just have to keep her from hurting herself." I should have been more focussed on Tosh. Her mouth dropped, forming a silent 'O'.

Jack mirrored Owen's protective touch and looked deeply into her eyes. He tried to reassure her but it came across sounding rather hollow to him. "It'll be all right Tosh. Just follow Ianto. It's all right. Go on." She did her best to let him sooth her. He prodded her gently and then followed close behind. Then they all followed me down to the Med Bay.

I immediately started pulling out supplies. "We need some padded restraints," I declared. From the look on her face, Tosh was getting more anxious by the second.

"Those padded Velcro ones? Would they do?" asked Owen, who had fully engaged _the-problem-solving-doctor_ mode.

"Yep. Perfect. But we need something for her torso as well, to reduce the strain on her wrists and ankles."

Tosh was looking frantically between Owen and me. She blanched when we began discussing the finer points of restraining her. "Tell me again. Why do I need to be restrained Ianto?"

"**THIS IS EMERGENCY PROGRAMME ONE**," the familiar face declared. "Rose, now listen, this is important. If this message is activated, then it can only mean one thing." Rose stared, wide-eyed as the holographic image of the Doctor explained what had happened. "We must be in danger. And I mean fatal. I'm dead or about to die any second with no chance of escape."

Rose lunged forwards and shouted uselessly at the Doctor's holo-image, "No!" Adrenalin left her delicate skin flushed and blotchy, her eyes were brighter than normal and her long blond hair lay in complete disarray.

The Doctor smiled, his kind eyes twinkled. "And that's okay. Hope it's a good death." He said a little too cheerfully. He'd lived for 900 years, more than most and a large part of him was ready to die.

Rose stopped mid-stride at the top of the ramp and continued to stare at him in disbelief.

The Doctor looked off into the distance and the recorded message continued. "But I promised to look after you, and that's what I'm doing. The TARDIS is taking you home." This left the real Doctor stranded on Satelite-5 in the year 200100.

Rose's resolve stiffened and she vowed vehemently, "I won't let you." She would find a way back to him. The Doctor was waiting for her.

**I CALLED RHI RIGHT AFTER LUNCH**. I felt absolutely terrible that I had to cancel our Christmas 'Eve plans. I had hoped I would be able to spend it with them, Sycorax invasion fleet notwithstanding. Only I hadn't counted on Tosh having an A-Positive blood type. "Oh, Rhi I've got terrible news. Can't make it for Christmas 'Eve. I'm really sorry."

She moaned and said what a shame but after a short pause, she made an insightful comment. "You sound really disappointed, Yan."

I sighed heavily. "I am. I was so excited. I thought I had it all worked out, you know?"

She'd been excited too. "I know you were looking forward to it this year, luv. It must be important if you have to cancel."

I nodded to myself. "Things are really heating up Rhi. Make sure everyone stays home tonight, ya?"

She answered quickly. "Okay." Then her curiosity got the better of her. "Dare I ask?"

I grimaced, glad she couldn't see my face. "No–best not." I told her cryptically.

There were two people outside of Torchwood that I could count on to take me at my word: my sister and the Inspector. Between the two of them, they'd pretty much seen all of my weirdness and it no longer (usually) fazed them. "Alright Ianto. Call me when you can. I love you."

I sighed in relief. "I love you too. Be careful."

"I will, I promise." She answered resolutely.

My second call would be a little trickier. I'd promised him a revelation and I had every intention of delivering. He answered on the third ring as gruffly as ever. "Well a Happy Christmas to you too!" I replied cheerfully.

He grunted, unimpressed with such hollow niceties. He never was one for Christmas cheer plus he was still a bit pissed off at me. "Don't you have work to do?" he demanded.

I chuckled. He was such a grumpy old bastard sometimes. "Nope. No work here. We're all on vacation. Been off for weeks." I was trying to get a rise out of him but he wouldn't bite.

He guffawed a little and I was satisfied with that. "Bullshit." He said finally.

"I need to see you. I have to give you something. Can I meet you sometime this afternoon?" I'd written him a short letter outlining tonight's events. I thought a written record might be received better than a long cumbersome explanation.

"What's this about?" he asked suspiciously.

"Remember that promise I made to you about sharing some of my secrets?" I didn't want to get into this on the phone but he was such a curious fellow.

At first, he responded with silence. "How about two o'clock?" He paused, then added a location. "In the park, by the Precinct where we used to have lunch." His words were clipped. He sounded concerned.

"Sounds great. I'll see you at two." I didn't like the tension in his voice. "Inspector, don't worry. It'll be okay."

"Hmmm," was his only reply, which made me laugh. He hung up after a quick, "See you later."

**THE DOCTOR SAT HUNCHED OVER LOOKING UTTERLY DEFEATED** as he peered into the screen at Jack. "Do you see, Jack?" He looked at him, his eyes searching for understanding. "That's the decision I've got to make for every living thing. Die as a Human or live as a Dalek." He pleaded for an answer, looking completely helpless. "What would you do?"

Jack met his gaze bravely. "You sent her home. She's safe." He nodded firmly. "Keep working," he insisted. Jack would stay with him until the bitter end.

Emperor Dalek recoiled in disbelief and screeched loudly. "But he will exterminate you!"

Jack replied with his trademark Harkness grin. "Never doubted him, never will."

"**MARVIN? JACK. I NEED A FAVOR**." Tosh glanced at Jack. He was listening to Marvin. "Ya…" He chuckled. "You could say that." He looked up and grinned at Tosh. "I've caught wind of something going down tonight." Marvin laughed then asked a question. "No, something non-terrestrial." He paused and smiled at Tosh who was now pacing across his smallish office. She'd developed a good strong rhythm, her strides were determined. "Yep," he answered. He paused while Marvin asked another question. "Just some legwork. Can I call you if I need you?" He flicked the end of his pen rapidly against the top of his desk. "Oh believe me, you'll know when it's time." He laughed again as Marvin made a snarky remark. "Well past midnight my friend and into the day–probably all day–tomorrow." Marvin agreed to Jack's request for help and Jack thanked him graciously. Tosh stopped pacing as Jack hung up the phone.

She turned to him and asked, "Who's Marvin? Have I met him?" She needed a distraction, any distraction would do.

"An old friend. On contract with Torchwood One. Did some work for me in the past." His eyes narrowed as he considered. "You'd probably hate him." He smiled at her surprise. "He's loud and pushy." Jack grinned as he told her.

She snorted. "No wonder you two get along." She retorted quickly, without much thought. Then her eyes went wide as she realized what she'd said. "Sorry. Didn't mean it like that, Jack," she said apologetically.

He waved her off. "No worries, Tosh. I'm not harboring any illusions. I know I can be loud and pushy on occasion." He chuckled at his obvious understatement. She grinned and rolled her eyes in reply. They were interrupted by the ringing of his landline. Jack picked up after two rings and he smiled when he heard my voice.

Jack?" I called.

"Ianto?" He retorted playfully.

"I've got to step out for an hour or so." I told him. I was trying to sound light, unaffected.

"Everything alright?" He asked quickly. He sounded more than a little curious.

"Yep. Just meeting the Inspector for a quick coffee." I explained.

"Hmmm," Jack mused, sounding a little suspicious. His gut told him something more was going on. "Do you need backup?" He asked after a moment.

"Nope," I laughed. "Not necessary. It's just coffee and a chat," I told him seriously.

"Come up here and give me a kiss before you go." He asked in a syrupy voice. I heard a ring of amusement jingle between the words. Little did I know, Tosh was standing stock-still mid-pace staring at Jack. Her hands had flown to her mouth in an effort to hold the bubbling squeal inside.

"Jack? Are you alone?" I asked, fearing the worst.

He chuckled. "Not exactly," he admitted reluctantly.

I pursed my lips in consternation. "Am I on speaker phone?"

He chuckled again and raised his eyebrows playfully at Tosh. "Say hi Tosh." He chimed. She shook her head side-to-side frantically.

I sighed and rolled my eyes in annoyance. "See you later, Jack." I said, trying to sound annoyed but I'm a terrible actor so it wasn't very convincing.

I got there a few minutes early so I used the time to try the Doctor's number again. Still no answer. I sat on the top of a picnic table, my feet on the bench and waited for the Inspector to show. The sun was trying to break through the clouds but it only managed to produce a nasty glare. It wasn't exactly cold but the air felt chilly in the shade. I'd brought a thermos of coffee and a bag of our favorite pastries as a peace offering. I hated being in the doghouse. The Inspector really knew how to make a person feel like a shit. I was hoping he'd let up sooner rather than later. I needed my friend.

He sauntered across the yellowed grass. He'd brought a bag as well. He wore a grim frown but that wasn't anything knew. He smiled as he got nearer and I was relieved. He plopped himself down on the picnic table beside me and held out the bag. I peeked inside and smiled at what I saw. He'd brought a bag of cookies, homemade from the looks of it. "Thanks," I said and reached inside for the cookie on top.

He grunted, acknowledging my gratitude. "Somebody's wife baked them." He shrugged. "They're pretty good." He took one for himself and popped it into his mouth. "So, what do you have for me?" He got straight to the point.

I'd been gripping the sealed envelope tightly in one hand. I took a deep breath and held it out to him. He titled his head like Lassie and tentatively reached out for the proffered envelope. He flipped it over, looked at both sides. "Should I open it now?" he asked. "While we're still together?" he added after a beat.

I shrugged. Told him, "It's up to you." I was undecided.

He tore it open and the scowl returned as he read. He looked up at me when he was finished and there on his face I saw surprise and awe. It certainly wasn't what I was expecting. I was counting on disbelief and mockery. "What is this?" he asked finally.

"It's an example of a secret that isn't mine to tell. It won't be a secret for long so I thought it wouldn't hurt." I'd thought long and hard about what I was going to say. He needed to know this wasn't an isolated incident.

"This sounds…" The Inspector was hesitant.

"Insane?" I suggested helpfully.

He nodded.

"I know." I nodded and smiled grimly. "But it's true. Listen, don't worry about it right now. Just put it in your pocket and let the day unfold." It would be best if he approached this like an experiment and remained the thoughtful observer.

"Ahhh… this is why you asked me about my blood type last week, isn't it?" I nodded in agreement. He looked at the letter in his hand again. "Everyone?" he asked after a moment.

"Yes, everyone who's A-Positive." I told him.

"In the whole world?" he asked incredulously.

I nodded. "I'm afraid so."

"How?" He just couldn't imagine the scope of this thing.

I sighed. He waited. "It's called Blood Control. It's a form of technology we haven't seen before. It's so advanced by our standards that it looks like magic."

He nodded as I explained and then asked, "Are those people going to die?" Concern and apprehension were at the forefront of his mind.

I laid a hand on his shoulder. "No. they won't kill them. Some might get hurt or fall down. Mostly, there'll be minor injuries. But the worst thing is… will be… how afraid people will get." I could see the fear in his eyes as we spoke and knew it would only increase over the next day. "We can't stop this from happening. I can't do anything to change it. They're too powerful," I explained. He was frowning, and it was a worried frown not an annoyed one. "Just don't show this to anyone ya?" I pleaded. "And please destroy it after. Burn it or something." He nodded in understanding. "We'll talk more in a few days after all this has passed over okay?" He nodded again but remained quiet and contemplative. We sat there a while, ate our cookies and pastries and drank our coffee while the world went on around us completely unaware.

**JACKIE PLEADED WITH CONCERN**. "Oh, Rose. Have something to eat..."

Her voice trembled, her eyes never left the window. "Two hundred thousand years in the future, he's dying, and there's NOTHING I can do!" Rose exclaimed in frustration.

Jackie, always the optimist, tried to brighten her mood. "Well, like you said—two hundred thousand years—it's way off!" She knew she'd failed miserably when she saw Rose's face twist in anger.

Rose finally looked away from the window and stared at her mum. "But it's not! It's now! That fight is happening right now, and he's fighting for us! For the whole planet and I'm just sitting here eating chips!" Rose felt powerless and it made her rage.

Jackie tried to get control over the situation. "Listen to me." She demanded, her voice laden with the hard-earned power only a mother could wield.

Slowly, Rose turned to face her and reluctantly fell silent.

Now that she had Rose's attention Jackie continued. "God knows I have hated that man, but right now, I love him—and d'you know why? Because he did the right thing. He sent you back to me," she proclaimed fervently. She promptly resumed picking at her chips and pointlessly hoped that they'd resolved the matter at hand.

However, Rose couldn't let it go. She looked at her mum and pleaded desperately. "But what do I do every day, mum? What do I do?" She sobbed. "Get up—catch the bus—go to work—come back home—eat chips and go to bed? Is that it?" She was near her breaking point and she felt so alone. Her mum thought only of her daughter's safety and Mickey thought only of his girlfriend's return. But who thought of the rest of the world? Of the Universe? Of him?

Her words hurt Mickey deeply. He retorted coldly, bitterly. "It's what the rest of us do."

In ignorance of his pain, Rose shouted back. "But I can't!"

He sneered in anger then demanded, "Why, 'cos you're better than us?"

She was frustrated. He was taking her words as a personal attack. He wasn't hearing her— couldn't see _her_ pain. "No, I didn't mean that!" she insisted. She paused and tried to calm herself down. Both Jackie and Mickey sat quietly watching her, waiting for her to settle.

Finally, when Rose continued, her voice was pained and quiet. "But it was... it was a better life," she explained. "And I—I don't mean all the travelling and... seeing aliens and spaceships and things—that don't matter. The Doctor showed me a better way of living your life." She met their eyes, spoke earnestly. She turned to Mickey and said, "You know, he showed you too." She reminded him of their time in the TARDIS. Then she continued more passionately. "That you don't just give up. You don't just let things happen. You make a stand. You say no. You have the guts to do what's right when everyone else just runs away, and I just can't—" She broke off, unable to carry on. She kicked the table leg in frustration and leapt to her feet. Then she ran out of the chip shop in despair leaving Jackie and Mickey glancing at one another in confusion and concern.

**WE ATE PIZZA, COMFORT FOOD FOR MOST**. We sat around the coffee table and munched quietly. Everyone had something on his or her mind. Finally, Jack piped up and asked the question he'd been dying to ask. "What did the Inspector have to say?"

I looked up at him, startled out of my silent reverie. "Ahhh…" I shrugged. "Just had a chat. You know. Catching up." His left eyebrow rose up and challenged my vague answer. Jack held my gaze longer than I could stand and I sighed. "It was a private matter," I said defensively.

Tosh looked between us and understanding dawned. "Did you tell him about the Sycorax?" she asked insightfully. Owen's eyes went wide and he looked to me for an answer. Jack did the same only with a knowing smile.

I grumbled inwardly about _too-clever-friends_ and _nosey-parkers_. "I didn't use the name but I did explain what was going to happen." I admitted to the breach in security reluctantly.

"Why'd you do that?" asked Owen. He wasn't being combative just curious.

Jack watched intently, obviously wondering the same thing. I was suddenly struck by how different my relationships were with these people. The first time 'round I'd never have told them the truth. Somehow, it had become all right to do so. I smiled and let out a troubled breath. "I made a promise that I had to keep. You see, I owed him an explanation." Owen gave me a look that said he clearly _didn't see_ but he didn't seem to mind. His smile and subtle nod told me he understood about keeping promises and I appreciated that a great deal. I looked to Tosh hoping for a similar reaction. She too shrugged and smiled. They were pleased by my answers, by the fact that I was actually answering their questions albeit vaguely. I didn't even dare a glance in Jack's direction. I was sure he'd ask his questions in private a little later on.

Tosh yawned loudly. She leaned back against the sofa and let her eyes slide shut. Owen shifted closer and patted his lap. She thanked him profusely as she curled up next to him on the sofa and settled her head on his lap. He gently stroked her hair trying to sooth her crumbling nerves. Within moments, her body succumbed to exhaustion and she managed to sleep.

Jack patted my knee and whispered, "Come on." He got up and walked quietly to his office. I followed slowly and tried to think of a good reason for telling the Inspector about the Sycorax. I closed the door behind me and took a seat on the battered two-seater that sat opposite his desk. He sat down beside me and wrapped his arm around my shoulder. I closed my eyes and leaned my head into the crook of his neck. "Is he A-Positive too?" Jack asked softly.

"No, he isn't." I paused. "I needed to tell him about this, Jack," I explained. "I've been quite secretive about… a lot of things… for a long time." Jack chuckled and hugged me more tightly. "I needed to trust him with something like this. He was starting to… get frustrated with my secrecy."

"So… he doesn't know your secret either?" Jack asked hopefully.

"No. He knows nothing." I replied.

"Didn't he ask?"

"How I know, you mean?" He nodded. "No. I think he knows me well enough not to ask."

"Well, how'd he take it? Will he be needing any Retcon?" Jack asked a little too eagerly.

I smirked and poked him in the side. "He took it fine. Like I said, I've known him a long time. We've handled a few aliens together. He's pretty hip. I trust him, Jack." I told him earnestly.

Jack nodded and hummed in understanding. We sat in silence for a while leaning against each other with our eyes closed. Jack wondered about my secret and I wondered about how the Inspector would react. By seven o'clock, he sent Tosh and Owen home for the night with instructions to come in by five the next morning.

**THE SUDDEN NOISE OUTSIDE** the Observation Deck on floor 56 made Lynda look at the reinforced door with apprehension. Fearfully, she spoke into her communicator and announced her impending doom. "They've found me."

He heard fear and her voice trembled. The Doctor replied through the intercom but never stopped working. "You'll be all right, Lynda," he promised. "That side of the station's reinforced against meteors." But even to him, his words seemed unconvincing.

Lynda tried to master her fear. She knew the Doctor was their only hope. She did her best to keep it light and chirped, "Hope so! Know what they say about Earth workmanship..."

They'd found her, a solitary female on floor 56. The Dalek slid across the floor, a deadly electromagnetic field pulsed from its conical metal body. Outside the door, a second Dalek advanced with a miniature blowtorch attachment and began targeting the door's most vulnerable point. With absolute conviction, without distraction, they followed their orders and proceeded to exterminate the few remaining humans on Satellite-5.

From the inside, a blue flame sparked through a narrow crack and provided irrefutable evidence of their efforts to break down the door. Then she saw movement out of the corner of her eye and she slowly turned back to the window. Her eyes widened in shock. There were three Daleks rising into view outside, in the void of space. The lead Dalek flashed its headlights in sync with its favorite four-syllable command, "EX–TER–MIN–ATE" and then it fired. The window smashed and then over the communicator, they heard Lynda's final scream.

On floor 500, the Doctor listened as she screamed in terror and then as it was abruptly cut off. He looked up in shock when he realized she was gone.

On floor 499, Jack ran backwards down a corridor, firing at the Dalek pursuing him. He yelled into his communicator breathlessly. "Last man standing!" he announced. "For God's sake, Doctor, finish that thing and kill them!" Time was running out. They were almost out of floors and he was almost out of ammo.

**I LOOSENED MY TIE,** let it hang there slackly around my neck while I slowly yet deliberately unbuttoned my shirt. Jack was talking to some faceless government official about our upcoming year-end report. I'd been waiting for nearly forty minutes already and frankly, I was done waiting. His eyes flickered up off the document he held in his hand. He'd caught sight of me standing in the doorway. I smiled coyly and quirked an eyebrow when he continued watching. He grinned and stuck the tip of his tongue out between his lips thoughtfully. His eyes travelled across my well-draped form and were drawn to the growing flash of skin as I unbuttoned my shirt. I leaned up against the doorframe casually, giving the impression I was somehow unable to stand on my own.

He'd been trying to pay attention to his caller but that was getting old. He tried to interrupt several times but the official just kept going on and on. Finally, Jack just stopped trying. He held the phone to his ear reflexively but other than that, he wasn't exactly engaged in the conversation. I undid the button on my trousers, unzipped the fly and then pulled my shirttails out from within. I pulled the tie off first and tossed it at him. He caught it easily mid-air and almost dropped the phone in the process. He grinned and ran the tie across his cheek. He was temporarily called back to the official when an answer was demanded of him. At first he sputtered, unsure what was being asked of him so he asked the caller to repeat the question. He glared at me accusingly with his eyes but the smile never left his lips. I let my shirt slip off my shoulders and draped it around the back of the nearest chair. I bent over, ass pointing his way and untied my shoes. Then I sat down on the sofa and kicked them off. I pulled my trousers off and folded them neatly, setting them aside. Jack raised his chin, looked over the edge of the desk so he could see me better and was rewarded. I ran my hand over my chest, grazing my left nipple. I swept my fingertips across my stomach the way I liked to be touched and locked eyes with him. He licked his lips eagerly. I smiled and ran my teeth over my bottom lip. I slid my hand down between my legs and cupped my groin, squeezing gently.

He stifled a groan and looked up at the ceiling. He cleared his throat loudly, "Listen, George. I'll have to call you back." He listened impatiently. "No. Something's come up." George was insistent. "Soon. I promise. Bye." He hung up before George could get another word out. Then he was up out of his chair—on his knees—on the floor—in front of me—before I had a chance to speak. "You are a very naughty boy Mr. Jones." His voice was raspy, lust ridden. He leaned forward, pressing between my legs and kissed me breathless.

"I know," I said when we'd come up for air. "I should be punished." I added, feeling entirely naughty. I wrapped my hands behind his head, ran my fingers through his hair and tickled the wisps at the nape of his neck. He purred and I pulled his head towards me. It was my turn to kiss him until he couldn't think straight.

"We're all alone for a few hours." He mused.

"Let's make the best of it." I said as I tugged off his shirt.

"S'no telling how long we'll be busy with this mess." He murmured, his hands roamed, sent shivers over my skin.

"Could be days…" I agreed raggedly. His fingers slid home.

"Exactly." His eyes never left mine. I licked my lips in anticipation.

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><p><em><strong>Continued in… 19 – Bad Wolf!<strong>_


	28. C19 Bad Wolf!

_**19 – Bad Wolf!**_

**W/C:** 2126  
><strong>Warningsspoilers/content**: spoilers for DW1.13-The Parting of the Ways, smexiness [slashy-romance-novel-smut], profanity, some violence and death  
><strong>Summary<strong>: Everything is happening now, somewhere.  
><strong>Characters<strong>: Ianto, immortal-Jack, Tosh, Owen, Rose, 9th Doctor, mortal-Jack  
><strong>Ianto's New Timeline<strong>: December 24, 2005 (3rd month)  
><strong>AN:** I borrowed a line from Slapbak's _The Key. _This chapter follows the script for the episode DW1.13, which I found online.

* * *

><p>"Everything is happening now, somewhere."<p>

—_unknown_

DECEMBER 24, 2005

**ROSE STEPPED FORWARD** and looked into the light. She couldn't look away. It reflected onto her face and she shone with a golden light. A breeze blew through her fine blond hair and suddenly, two golden streams of light began flowing into her eyes.

On floor 500, Jack was running out of corridor. He continued running backwards and shooting in vain as Daleks advanced on him. He screamed desperately. "Doctor, you've got twenty seconds maximum!" He'd done all he could. He was only one man.

In equal desperation, the Doctor worked frantically to assemble the weapon. He'd almost finished. He threw the final pieces of equipment together and dashed around like a madman.

The TARDIS hurtled through the Time Vortex with terrifying speed. Inside, a strange breeze blew around Rose as she stood frozen staring into the time vortex and twin golden streams coursed into her eyes.

Just outside the main control room, Jack ran out of bullets. He stood at the end of the corridor and tossed the now useless Defabricator aside. He tried firing another smaller gun but it had no effect.

The Daleks continued their steady advance and he kept fighting until his gun produced only clicks. He was backed up against the wall, weaponless against three Daleks yet he faced them squarely. He knew his time was drawing to a close.

The lead Dalek announced his fate. "Exterminate!" The other two raised their guns.

Jack scoffed defiantly. "I kinda figured that." He opened his arms slightly, ready for the end. They fired and Jack slumped down against the wall, dead.

**AFTER THE FIRST TRANSMISSION**, Owen and Tosh decided to come in early. They couldn't sleep at home so they thought they might as well be at the hub where we could all pace together. They were scanning the airwaves for any sign of the Sycorax. They sat side by side, their heads close together and spoke softly if at all.

A few meters away, Jack stood at a raised monitor. He too was scanning our feeds. I stood behind him and slightly offside so my chest was pressing against his upper arm. I leaned forward and rested my chin on his shoulder. In response, Jack leaned back a little. I titled my head towards his earlobe and murmured a complaint in his ear. "I'm going into withdrawals, Jack." I made sure my breath tickled the little hairs when I spoke.

He chuckled; the naughty rumble went straight to my groin. "Well… we can't have that."

I told him I was disappointed that we didn't have enough private time for what I'd been planning. Jack moaned and started to say how he'd been trying to make some but then we were interrupted by a news report.

Jack announced it loudly and they were at our side in a flash. We listened attentively to the broadcast. It was exactly as I'd said it would be. I caught a look as it passed between Owen and Tosh. They looked a little nervous. I knew it would put them on edge. They'd be wondering what else I knew and probably how I knew it too.

The instant the report finished Jack spun around and picked up right where we left off. Pure seduction rolled off him when he spoke. "You've got all this to play with babe." He ran his hands down his body suggestively. Owen's mouth dropped in shock and Tosh blushed furiously. I shook my head in amusement but couldn't stop the smirk or the smolder in my eyes. "And you can have it anytime you like…" He paused, scanned my eyes more closely. "Any way you like," he added a little breathlessly after a beat. Tosh and Owen were immediately forgotten, the global emergency a distant memory. He stepped closer and his eyes glittered mischievously.

When he stopped, we were eye to eye. They were stupendous eyes, audacious and brilliantly blue. A look from them could curl my toes and leave me breathless. Hell, they probably left the rest of the room breathless… but to hell with the rest of the room. Just then, I couldn't give a shit about the rest of the Universe.

**FINALLY FINISHED**, the Doctor pulled up the lever on the device he'd just put together. "It's ready!" He gasped in amazement. He looked up as columns of Daleks slowly filed into the room; they surrounded him menacingly. He warned, "You really wanna think about this. 'Cos if I activate the signal, every living creature dies."

On the screen, Emperor Dalek announced, "I am immortal." He gave every impression that he was unconcerned.

"D'you wanna put that to the test?" The Doctor countered boldly.

Emperor Dalek answered gleefully. "I want to see you become like me. Hail the Doctor, the Great Exterminator!" he called out mockingly.

The Doctor didn't take kindly to being mocked. In anger, he placed his hands on the lever and threatened, "I'll do it!"

"Then prove yourself, Doctor." The evil Emperor taunted. "What are you—coward or killer?"

The Doctor's hands tensed on the lever. He shook, his face screwed up in pain as his mental battle raged internally. Then as if he were struck by the full extent of the horror facing him, his hands slipped off the lever limply. He looked up, calm once again. "Coward. Any day," he declared proudly.

"Mankind will be harvested because of your weakness," Emperor Dalek countered.

"And what about me?" asked the Doctor. "Am I becoming one of your angels"?

The Emperor answered quickly. "You are the Heathen. You will be exterminated."

The Doctor seemed resigned to his fate. "Maybe it's time." He sighed and then closed his eyes, ready for death. Daleks surrounded him on all sides; it would be quick at least.

They were surprised when the sound of the TARDIS engines filled the air. One of the Daleks swiveled around, aimed its eyestalk at the spot where the TARDIS had been less than an hour ago.

The Dalek screamed. "Alert! TARDIS materialising!"

The Doctor's eyes snapped open and he spun around in shock.

Emperor Dalek shrieked loudly. "You will not escape!"

As soon as the TARDIS had fully materialised the doors flew open. The Doctor recoiled and threw a hand over his eyes as the blinding golden light of the time vortex poured out of the TARDIS. Rose stood in the doorway shrouded in a swirling cloud of golden energy. When she stepped forward, the light curled around her and the Doctor stared, awestruck. As comprehension dawned on him, he stumbled backwards then fell to the ground completely distraught. His fear was apparent. "What've you done?"

Rose gazed down at him with eyes fully lit by the Time Vortex. When she spoke, her London accent had completely vanished. "I looked into the TARDIS. And the TARDIS looked into me." There was a power in her voice.

The Doctor was horror struck. "You looked into the Time Vortex? Rose, no one's meant to see that."

"This is the abomination!" Emperor Dalek shouted.

A Dalek declared its intent. "Exterminate!" A second later, it fired at Rose but she merely held up her hand and intercepted the energy beam. The bolt froze and reversed back into the gun harmlessly. The Doctor watched the incredible display of power in amazement. Then he stared up at Rose intensely.

As if she'd heard his unspoken question, Rose explained. "I am the Bad Wolf. I create myself. I take the words..." She pointed to the words 'BAD WOLF CORPORATION' written high on the wall and then waved her hand. "I scatter them in time and space." As she spoke, the words 'Bad Wolf' rose from the wall and floated away. "A message to lead myself here," she added finally.

"Rose, you've got to stop this," the Doctor begged urgently. "You've got to stop this now."

Rose stared straight ahead as though she hadn't heard him.

The Doctor was wildly concerned. He tried again. "You've got the entire vortex running through your head. You're gonna burn."

Suddenly Rose looked at him. She explained herself simply. "I want you safe." Her words broke his heart. She'd done this for him. She'd given her life to save him, to save them all.

The Doctor could only stare open-mouthed in shock. When he looked at her face, he saw traces of tears on her cheeks. "My Doctor," she whispered to him and then spoke more loudly. "Protected from the false God."

The Emperor blustered. "You cannot hurt me. I am immortal."

Rose retorted. "You are tiny. I can see the whole of time and space—every single atom of your existence, and I divide them." She raised her hand and easily disintegrated the centre Dalek into millions of tiny golden, liquid-like particles. "Everything must come to dust... all things. Everything dies," she said forebodingly. Then with a look, she reduced the remaining Daleks in the control room to golden particles. "The Time War ends," she declared.

The Emperor's voice rose in fear. "I will not die. I cannot die!" It screwed up its eye.

In the next instant, the entire mother ship was reduced to the liquid-like golden particles and they dissolved away into oblivion.

Rose stood there with her arms raised, staring straight ahead of her, shaking from the effort.

"Rose, you've done it," the Doctor said in awe. "Now stop. Just let go." He pleaded for her life. His mind was reeling. He'd given everything to end The Time War. All this time… alone. The Time War had raged on unbeknownst to him. His Rose had ended it with a sweep of her hand.

But Rose stood blissfully quiet. "How can I let go of this? I bring life..." She made a subtle gesture.

On floor 500, at the end of the corridor Jack suddenly gasped back to life and drew in a burning breath of air. His eyes flew open and he too reeled but in confusion. They killed him. He was dead. Now, he was alive. _Impossible_, he thought.

The Doctor protested, terrified of what she might mean to do. "But this is wrong! You can't control life and death!"

She looked at him again, a mild expression on her face. "But I can. The sun and the moon... the day and night." Her voice trembled. "But why do they hurt...?"

The Doctor cried out desperately. "The power's gonna kill you and it's my fault." He couldn't carry this guilt, he couldn't. He lowered his head in anguish.

Rose sobbed gently. "I can see everything." She tried to explain but the pain was excruciating. A tear rolled down her cheek.

At her words, the Doctor raised his head again.

Overwhelmed, she continued on. "All that is... all that was... all that ever could be."

The Doctor stood up abruptly, looked down at her as if he suddenly understood perfectly.

Then he spoke, clearly awed. "That's what I see. All the time. And doesn't it drive you mad?"

Rose nodded. When she spoke, he heard her pain and fear. "My head..."

The Doctor held out his arms. "Come here."

Rose gasped. "It's killing me..."

He took her hands and smiled kindly. "I think you need a Doctor."

Slowly, he pulled her close. The Doctor gazed into her eyes, and then gently, carefully, leaned down and pressed his lips to hers. As the kiss deepened, the Time Vortex began flowing out of her eyes and into his.

They parted slowly and held each other's gaze for a few more moments before Rose's eyes fluttered closed and she fell into his arms, unconscious. He laid her carefully down on the floor and then stood up straight. Calmly, he turned towards the TARDIS and slowly exhaled the Time Vortex from his mouth and allowed it to stream back into the TARDIS. The blue doors closed quietly, and the TARDIS looked completely normal once more. The Doctor slowly opened his eyes and smiled softly to himself. He kneeled down, leaned over Rose and tenderly stroked her face and neck.

**JACK GROANED IN PAIN** and winced as he stood up. He staggered through the corridor towards the control room. On his way, he spotted a pile of dust on the floor, where one of the Daleks once stood. He leaned down and ran his fingers through the powder in confusion. Suddenly, he heard the sound of the TARDIS engines groaning to life. Jack ran towards the sound as fast as he could but he was too late. He watched in horror as the TARDIS faded away. They'd left him stranded, surrounded by the dead. He stared after them feeling hurt, confused and abandoned. And his heart broke.

.

_**Continued in… 19 - Ready, Steady, Blow ('Em Up)**_


	29. C20 Intergalactic Thugs

_**20 – Intergalactic Thugs**_

**W/C:** 2572  
><strong>Warningsspoilers/content**: violence and profanity, spoilers for DW2.0 The Christmas Invasion  
><strong>Summary<strong>: 12:30AM until 5AM  
><strong>Characters<strong>: Ianto, immortal-Jack, Tosh, Owen, Mr. Llewellyn, Sycorax  
><strong>Ianto's New Timeline<strong>: December 25, 2005 (3rd month)  
><strong>AN: **There is a slight overlap between the last chapter and this one-right around midnight.** T**he writers of Vampire Diaries came up with that stupid line, I'm just putting it to good use.

* * *

><p>DECEMBER 25, 2005, 12:30-5 AM<p>

"**JACK, IT'S STARTING."** I called him over and we watched the monitor with anticipation.

We watched avidly as a BBC reporter announced the late breaking news at a press conference. "Scientists in charge of Britain's mission to Mars have re-established contact with the Guinevere One space probe. They're expecting the first transmission from the planet's surface in the next few minutes."

Mr. Llewellyn took the podium and spoke in excited tones. "Yes, we are. We're, we're back on schedule. We've received the signal from Guinevere One. The Mars landing would seem to be an unqualified success."

From within the sea of press, an eager reporter shouted out a challenge. "But is it true that you completely lost contact earlier tonight?"

"Yes, we had a bit of a scare." Mr. Llewellyn faced the crowd and admitted their near disaster nervously. "Guinevere seemed to fall off the scope, but it, it was just a blip. Only disappeared for a few seconds," he insisted. "She is fine now, absolutely fine. We're getting the first pictures transmitted live any minute now. I'd better get back to it, thanks." He rambled breathlessly and then ran quickly off the stage.

A sophisticated, well-coiffed newsreader began her play-by-play of the live feed. "The first photographs…" She hesitated, unable to make out the image. "This image is being transmitted via mission control, coming live from the depths of space on Christmas morning."

After a few moments, the wavy static cleared and lo and behold, we got our first glimpse of the Sycorax. They had a white boney head shaped like a goat's skull with fiery red-eyes that shone through the eyeholes of what looked like an ugly mask. Then, it growled and gurgled on live television. At twelve-thirty AM the shit officially hit the fan.

She hardly missed a beat. "The face of an alien life form was transmitted live tonight on BBC1." We had several data streams coming in so we switched between the BBC and the American newsfeed.

The American news anchor declared her opinion proudly. "On the 25th of December, the human race has been shown absolute proof that alien life exists."

"How much do you wanna bet," asked Jack, his tone dripping with scorn, "that by next week nobody will admit to seeing any aliens?" He just shook his head in disgust. I had to agree, it was ridiculous how people insisted on remaining ignorant of reality.

**TWENTY MINUTES LATER THE WARNING ALARM BLARED**, signalling the rollback of the cog door. To my utter surprise (not), in walked Tosh and Owen, looking jumpy and fearful. I was in the kitchen making myself another cuppa. I nodded and said a little psalm of thanks to _The Powers That Be_ that I'd gotten dressed.

Jack smiled at them. "Good thing I put some underpants on." He chuckled and walked barefoot across the steel grating, picked up his coffee cup, leaned his hip against the desk and took a sip of his sinfully good coffee.

**AROUND 1 AM, TOSH CALLED OVER HER SHOULDER**, still sitting at her desk. "Jack… I'm picking up chatter. A top-level meeting has been called at UNIT headquarters." She was flipping between several different feeds trying to absorb as much information as humanly possible in the time remaining.

"Any mention of us?" Jack asked hopefully.

"Torchwood has not been requested as of yet." Tosh replied, all business. Jack stood behind her, rested his hands lightly on her shoulders.

"I'm picking up a video feed. It's overriding several satellite data streams." Tosh announced at a lower volume.

"How are they able to do that?" Owen wondered aloud.

"They must be piggy-backing." Jack suggested. "Advanced technology," he added with a shrug. "Probably broadcasting all around the world by now."

"Finally," she sighed. "I'm picking up an audio feed. Translation software is on." A group of Sycorax filled the screen. Their words were harsh and unmistakably aggressive.

"Sounds a bit like Klingon." Owen quipped.

"I'm not familiar with that." Jack replied seriously.

Tosh grinned, Owen snorted and I slid an arm around Jack's shoulder. "It's a joke Jack. Klingons are from Star Trek. It's a movie."

Jack rolled his eyes in disgust. "Oh, I hate science fiction movies! They always get it wrong." We'd heard this particular rant numerous times before. It was one of Jack's pet peeves. "This one time…" he began.

"Not now Jack!" Both Owen and Tosh exclaimed in unison.

He held up his hands in surrender. I gave his shoulder a little squeeze.

Owen leaned over the chair in front of him, squinted at the alien text flicking across the screen. "How long until this thing is finished?" He asked Tosh.

"Thirty minutes max," Tosh assured him confidently.

I was at my own station, right next to Tosh. I was searching through UNIT's live feed trying to glean every drop of useful information I could. "I've got a trajectory…" I told them. Their heads flipped up and all eyes fell on me and my screen. "And projected arrival time is about five hours."

"Just what you thought," said Jack. He patted me on the shoulder and bobbed his chin up and down.

"I've got to admit it… you've been right so far." Owen nodded and squished his lips together in approval. He stood behind Tosh, his arms crossed in a defensive stance. Unfortunately that only meant things were going to get ugly, fast.

Tosh attempted to ease her steadily rising stress levels by taking a few slow deep breaths in and out. Noticing this, Owen uncrossed his arms and began massaging her shoulders. Jack looked on approvingly and said nothing.

A beeping sound made Tosh's eyes fly open. "An alert is coming in on the Torchwood network. They've called in Torchwood One Jack." Her voice was tight and clipped.

A second beeping sound indicated the translation program had finished its task and all eyes panned across to that terminal.

"Here it is…" she announced. She read the translation aloud. "People. That could be slaves or cattle. You belong to the Sycorax. We own you. We now possess your land, your minerals, your precious stones. You will surrender or they will die. Sycorax strong, Sycorax mighty, Sycorax rock… they think they're awesome?" Tosh scoffed at their arrogance.

"So their idea of colonization is enslaving most of the population and killing the rest?" Owen asked the room.

"Seems so," offered Jack.

"They said _they will die_. They're talking about the A Positive people, aren't they?" Tosh asked fearing the answer.

**THERE WAS A LULL AROUND 2 AM** and it was stretching our nerves to the limit. The silence was especially unbearable for Jack so he started telling stories to get our minds off of things. He'd been reminiscing about his least favorite alien thugs of all time. He had a top ten list and he was working his way through it with one humorous account after another. While his heart was in the right place, his stories weren't reassuring anyone and they certainly weren't humorous to anyone but him. "Oh, but my favorite alien thugs were those rogue Judoon. They'd broken off from their squad and just kind of went berserker on a couple of sectors. It wasn't pretty. They were completely insane and very thorough. If you pissed them off they wouldn't just kill you. First, they'd kill everyone you'd ever met and make you watch. Then they'd totally kill your ass." He chuckled to himself. "Ah… good times." He sighed.

Owen leaned closer to Tosh and murmured in her ear. "I never know if he's telling the truth." She frowned and shrugged but after a brief moment, her eyes went wide with fear. Suddenly, she was quite afraid he was telling the truth after all.

Jack sat with his eyes closed, a smile on his lips completely oblivious to their reaction. He sat that way for a few moments immersed in his memories then his eyelids rolled back and he turned to me. Jack flicked an eyebrow high, suggestively. "Let's go find a nice horizontal surface… and I can show you how insanely hot you are," he offered.

I smirked. "I'd love to but I don't think now's the time, Jack."

He pouted. He'd been hoping for a different answer.

Owen was trying his best to comfort Tosh but was at a complete loss for words. She rubbed the heels of her hands into her tired eye-sockets and Owen looked on uselessly. Jack's eyes panned over us, first Tosh then Owen and finally me. He looked at us closely, trying to see how we were really holding up under our thin facades. "Why don't' we all take some down-time?" he suggested loudly. He grabbed my hand and before I could utter a protest, he was pulling me out through the cog door. "We need some fresh air. It'll be awhile until we see the light of day. So let's take a little walk." He was talking quickly, trying to convince me. He didn't realize I needed none.

**WE RECONVENED AT 5 AM**, looking no better and certainly no more rested. Owen and Tosh made their way down to the medical bay in silence. She sat on the end of the metal slab looking small and fragile. She was scared, so scared in fact that she was coiling in on herself. "I'm going to hook your IV up first so we can start the nutrients bag."

"What do you mean? Why do I need that?" She was as jumpy as a skittish colt in a lightning storm.

"You haven't eaten. You haven't slept." He explained calmly. "You're run down and your body's about to be put through the ringer. You need some supplements."  
>"I thought I'd have a full English this morning. You know, sort of a last meal?" She tried for casual and failed tragically.<p>

"I wouldn't eat if I were you." He said cryptically.

We were coming down the stairs and overheard his warning. "I totally agree Tosh. You definitely don't want a bunch of food sitting in your… GI tract while you have no control of your body." I finished awkwardly. I had no idea what would happen but I didn't want Tosh to suffer any more than she had to.

She blanched, visibly and pursed her lips. "Right. IV it is then. Hook me up doctor." She nodded at Owen. It was at times like this that we were all thankful for Owen's professional demeanor. Once he finished, Tosh stood up and dusted herself off. "Well, I'm off to the loo." She snorted. She was getting a little punchy.

We heard the unnaturally loud ring tone of Jack's office phone and everybody jumped. I whipped over to Owen's phone and re-directed the call to the med bay. "Hallo?" I answered the call like one does in a supper secret underground base.

"Gimme Jack." He grunted out the demand. I handed the phone to Jack who smiled his thanks.

"Something's brewing, something big." His contact told him. "Yvonne's got her knickers in a knot and the alien tech department is running frantic. I don't know what they're doing exactly. But they're making something or assembling something big. I thought you should know boyo."

"Thanks. I owe you one." Jack handed out IOUs almost as often as he called them in. Sometimes longevity could really work in your favour. Jack had lots of time to accumulate favours owed.

"You do." He rang off abruptly.

"It's starting. _One_ is starting to boil." Jack told us.

"What are they doing?" Owen looked at me, not Jack.

Resigned, I smiled and nodded. "Some kind of alien tech. Basically, a really big gun."

Jack frowned. "Big enough to take out the Sycorax ship?"

I shrugged. "Maybe. But…" I thought, ran my tongue over my teeth. "I don't think it's stealthy enough to be used for a full frontal attack."

"I'd love to know what all they have hidden away at _One_." Owen mused while he fiddled with the Velcro restraints. It was a quarter to and time was running out.

Tosh stood at the railing, entertaining a happy fantasy. "Maybe you won't have to sedate me. Maybe Torchwood One will blow 'em out of the sky before they ever have a chance to use their blood control technology…" No one could have missed the desperately hopeful lilt in her voice. I shook my head slightly, apologetically. She stomped down the stairs making her reluctance known.

"Just think of it as a nice day off Tosh, complete with a little happy juice that Owen's cooked up for you." Jack tried to find the bright side of the empty glass. He got a death-ray glare for his troubles.

Owen patted the now fully padded autopsy table and Tosh complied. The first thing he did was push a little happy juice to help take the edge off. We'd turned on the monitor in the med bay so we could sit with Tosh and watch for the next transmission at the same time. He didn't strap her in yet but he stood at the ready. Between the three of us, we'd already decided on a the emergency procedure for restraining Tosh. "UNIT's getting a signal." Jack announced nervously. "Looks like the PM's issued an answer to their demands."

"Oh, shit." I swore under my breath. "They didn't like that." I nodded at Owen. Tosh and Jack had been keeping an eye on me too so they both caught my signal. Tosh's hands flew to her face and a tear started to form in the corner of her eye.

"Hey, now. Take it easy, Tosh. We'll be here the whole time. I promise. We won't leave your side." Jack was smoothing a hand around her slight shoulders. She laid herself down onto the thickly padded metal table. I held her hand as Owen wrapped the restraints around her wrists and ankles. We were all paying such close attention to Tosh that we missed the chaos erupting on the screen as a third of UNIT's personnel began making their way to the nearest rooftop.

A blue ring of energy suddenly appeared around Tosh's crown and Owen gasped. "Fuck." He declared as he pulled the final strap around Tosh's middle. He pushed the remaining sedative into the end of her IV tube and prayed it would be enough. She struggled, her brown eyes remained blank empty pools and the straps didn't give. Her eyes remained open but there was no reaction of any kind. "Fuck. Fuck. Fuck, FUCK!" Owen was freaking out.

Jack nodded, agreeing wholeheartedly. Then he turned to leave, hesitated, "I'll be right back," he told us. Owen grunted and I nodded. He returned a short time later holding three sturdy tumblers and a rather large bottle of whiskey even by his usual standards. He poured, generously. Owen threw it back and put the glass on the nearest counter. He was pissed that his latest creation—aptly dubbed the _super-duper-alien-happy-juice_—wasn't working. The sedation was completely ineffective. It was only 6 AM. It was going to be a very long day.

_**Continued in… 21 – Zombies for Christmas**_


	30. C21 Zombies for Christmas

_**21- Zombies for Christmas**_

**W/C:** 3431  
><strong>Warningsspoilers/content**: violence and profanity, spoilers for DW2.0 The Christmas Invasion  
><strong>Summary<strong>: 6AM until 3PM - from blood control at sunrise until the Doctor wakes up  
><strong>Characters<strong>: Ianto, immortal-Jack, Tosh, Owen, PM Harriett Jones, Alex, Mr. Llewellyn, Major Blake, 10th Doctor, Rose, Mickey, Sycorax, other characters  
><strong>Ianto's New Timeline<strong>: December 25, 2005 (3rd month)  
><strong>AN: **I found a transcription of the script online and built the chapter around it.

* * *

><p>DECEMBER 25, 2005, 6AM-3PM<p>

**STUBBORNLY, THE SUN ROSE OVER LONDON**, light bounced around in the low-lying smog and scarcely made it through; it was a glorious sight. But hardly anyone was looking at the sunrise; they were busy chasing their pyjama clad loved ones down the street as they uncontrollably sought out the nearest tall building. They walked stiffly, silently. Mothers pleaded, lovers begged and more than one father threatened a good grounding but to no avail. The seemingly mindless hoard of Christmas morning revelers were reminiscent of a zombie apocalypse movie. Zombies for Christmas, how quaint.

A local reporter and her camera operator ran alongside the zombie hoard, trying to capture the perfect shot. They zoomed in on a slightly frayed Policeman as he reported the situation over the radio to his dispatcher. "They've stopped," he began. "They've all stopped. They're just standing there, right on the edge. They've gone right to the edge." Fear slithered through his thoughts and found a sneaky way into his heart. He couldn't stop thinking about his son and his wife. "They're going to jump." His voice went up an octave.

**DEEP UNDERGROUND, IN OUR DANK HIDEAWAY**, Jack stood at Tosh's station. He was nowhere near as fast as she was but he tried his best to keep up. He called out to us. "According to reports…" he scanned the police data stream, "it looks like a third. They're reporting one third of the world's population—about two billion people—are ready to jump." Beads of sweat had broken out along his forehead. He snuck a peek over the med bay railing. He'd gone up after it became apparent that the med bay pit was far too small for the three of us. More importantly, he felt completely useless. I was still helping Owen as he tried to keep Tosh safe. She struggled violently and her delicate skin was already showing signs of wear and tear. I checked the Velcro restraints for the thirtieth time.

"It's a good thing we jerry rigged those bad boys to the autopsy table. They're the only things keeping her in the hub." He ran a hand through his hair, squeezed his eyes tight. "Thanks, Ianto. I'd have gone out of my mind if she was standing on the edge with all those people." He shook his head and sighed loudly. "I don't know what I'd 'ave done." His eyes skittered across the table and landed on his empty tumbler. The sedative—his _super-duper-alien-happy-juice_—still wasn't working and he couldn't figure out why. "I've given her enough to knock out Jack and you put together. I don't understand it." He continued fretting while he took a sample of her blood. He needed to analyse something—anything—to get his mind off of this cluster fuck.

"I think we've done all that we can do… in terms of restraining her. She can't move her body so she won't be able to injure her joints." The look he gave me said he was far from being convinced. "We could put another one here around her torso." I suggested quickly. "Do you think that might help?" We couldn't be too careful as far as he was concerned. This was Tosh we were talking about.

**HOURS PASSED AND THE POPULACE** (of the planet) bubbled into a fear-induced frenzy. Prime Minister Harriet Jones had only one more card to play. It was a long shot but she was out of options and she couldn't sit idly by while her constituents slowly lost their minds. She was afraid, very, very afraid. This was usually the time (in any global crisis) when _her_ Doctor appeared and saved the day. With as much dignity as the Prime Minister could muster, she prepared to address the nation—probably the world—with her desperate plea for help.

The producer counted down, "Five—four—three—and…" She held her fingers high in the air and signaled for the start of the broadcast.

The Prime Minister looked a little small as she sat in the heavy wooden chair, behind the ornate desk, surrounded by Union flags. She gave a nod to the photograph of Her Majesty, which sat in a place of honour on the desk and then turned to the camera. "Ladies and gentlemen, if I may take a moment during this terrible time. It's hardly the Queen's speech. I'm afraid that's been cancelled." She turned to her right hand man—live broadcast be dammed. "Did we ask about the royal family?" She blanched quite visibly at his answer. "Oh." She gulped. "They're on the roof." She took a deep, steadying breath and carried on. "But, ladies and gentlemen, this crisis is unique, and I'm afraid to say, it might get much worse. I would ask you all to remain calm." She took a deep breath. _Keep calm and carry on_, she reminded herself. "But I have one request. Doctor, if you're out there, we need you. I don't know what to do. If you can hear me, Doctor. If anyone knows the Doctor, if anyone can find him, the situation has never been more desperate. Help us. Please, Doctor. Help us. God help us." With every drop of passion she possessed, she pleaded for all our lives and it made my heart ache. Eyes misted, across the planet, from the weepiest teenaged girl to the most stoic assassin. Most had no idea who this _Doctor_ was but it didn't matter, they heard and felt her plea and understood its import regardless of culture or language.

Owen sniffed and looked at me. His eyes held a question but he remained silent. After a brief pause, he nodded as if to say he still trusted me. "It's going to be okay, Owen. It will turn out okay in the end. Just a few more hours and then it'll be over." He nodded and deep in his gut he hoped I was right. "Look, I've got to go up and see if I can help Jack." He nodded again.

**WHEN MY FOOT CLEARED THE LAST STEP**, my eyes fell on a troubling scene. Jack was sitting, slouched over, his elbows on his knees and he was scrubbing his face with his hands. He hadn't been immune to the Prime Minister's plea either. He too had been hoping the Doctor would show up—like he usually did—and save the day, again. He turned to me and his eyes held a plea of their own. "Ianto?" He was glad I'd come up. "This is getting pretty tense. Are you sure it's going to be all right?" I nodded (and prayed I was right), took his hand and led him over to the sofa.

"Jack, it's going to get worse before it gets better. We knew that. Right?" Uncle voice may have come into play at this point. He nodded quickly. "Tosh is okay where she is. I don't think Owen's going to leave her side. But I think we should take a look at that satellite feed. You know, the one Tosh found yesterday?"

"Sounds good." He stood up, glad to have something tangible to fixate on. The PM really shook him up. _Got all misty, like a little girl_, he chastised himself.

Jack got the feed setup and thinking of Owen, made it available on all our screens. I made us coffee. Everything is more bearable with coffee. I shared a cup of liquid hope with Jack while we alternatively scoured CCTV street footage and UNIT's live security feed. We were too far away to hear it but thanks to the wonders of CCTV, we watched wide-eyed and open-mouthed as a sonic boom shattered every glass structure across London simultaneously. "They've entered the atmosphere." I told him.

"Oh sweet Goddess of Mercy, where is he?" Jack's eyes were wild. He felt so useless. There was nothing he could do. Just _sit there_ and _wait_. As you can imagine, neither sitting nor waiting are high on the list of Jack's personal strengths.

I pulled his attention to the screen. "Look, they're transmitting again." I brought the feed up front and center. As the clock rang eleven, I noted with some displeasure that aliens were once again hovering over London on Christmas day.

**WITH THE HELP OF TECHNOLOGY SO ADVANCED** that it was indistinguishable from magic, the images on our monitor shifted and we watched as four humans materialized aboard the Sycorax ship. The camera must have been positioned near the base of the ship because we were able to see and hear them clearly. There in the center of a gigantic cavern stood the Prime Minister, Harriet Jones; Alex, her right hand man; Mr. Llewellyn and Major Blake. They were out of their element and they looked puny and weak standing next to the terrifying aliens. In the background, we could see a vast army of aliens lined up in galleries above. There were so many that I imagine they'd easily fill several football stadiums. Their leader walked up to them and started to remove his headgear.

Mr. Llewellyn whispered to the others in awe. "It's a helmet." Hope and fear still battled for supremacy in his heart. He'd dreamt of this moment so many times but it really wasn't turning out how he'd imagined.

The leader of the Sycorax began to speak and Alex read out the translation for the others. "You will surrender," he stuttered nervously. "Or I will release the final curse and your people will jump. You will surrender," he repeated.

Mr. Llewellyn ventured forward. "If I can speak."

Major Blake hissed his disapproval. "Mister Llewellyn, you're a civilian."

"No," he insisted, "I sent out the probe. I started it. I made contact with these people. This whole thing's my responsibility," he told them resolutely. Then he addressed the leader of the Sycorax with a slight bow. "With respect, sir. The human race is taking its first step towards the stars, but we are like children compared to you. Children who need help. Children who need compassion. I beg of you now, show that compassion." His heartfelt plea was heard by all. Unfortunately, the Sycorax don't generally enjoy heartfelt pleas very much and he became their first victim. With an evil gleam, the Sycorax leader raised his glittering energy whip in the air and snapped it brutally around Mr. Llewellyn's neck, completely disintegrating his flesh.

Major Blake was horrified and disgusted by their flagrant disregard for the rules of war. He shouted, "That man was your prisoner! Even your species must have articles of war, forbidding…" He was cut off abruptly by the snap of the whip. The glittering weapon tore through his body and all that remained of the Prime Minister's companions were a couple of fractured skeletons lying in heaps on the floor.

The Prime Minister stepped forward bravely and introduced herself. "Harriet Jones, Prime Minister." She held her ID card next to her face while she spoke.

Alex translated their reply. "Yes, we know who you are. Surrender or they will die."

She countered, "If I do surrender, how would that be better?" She would carry on bravely if it was the last thing she did.

Once again, Alex read the translation aloud. "Half is sold into slavery or one third dies. Your choice."

In the background, a couple of subordinate Sycorax interrupted their leader to report a suspicious signal coming from the planet below. "The noise. The bleeping." Alex told her, "They say it's machinery. Foreign machinery. They're accusing us of hiding it. Conspiring. They're going to bring it on board." His voice was strained, overtaxed by fear and confusion. Alex had the feeling he wouldn't be her right hand man for very much longer.

Moments later, on the Powell Estate Jackie screamed as her daughter was once again taken away from her... on the TARDIS. "Rose!" She stood there alone, her hands full of grocery bags and her heart terribly troubled. Unknowingly Mickey, Rose and an unconscious Doctor where transported into the belly of the Sycorax ship.

**HARRIET WATCHED IN HORROR** as the Sycorax effortlessly located the TARDIS, plucked it off the Earth's surface and materialized it just a few meters away. She ought to have screamed out, warned her but she expected to see the Doctor step out of those little blue doors. She hadn't been expecting Rose. They seized her too.

She screamed, "Get off! Get off me!" She had to warn Mickey, tell him to stay—but then he ran out the door oblivious to the danger just as she had. They had to protect the Doctor! They had to keep the TARDIS safe until he was himself again. Before Mickey was captured, he had to close the door. She screamed, let out every ounce of fear. "The door! Close the door!" He managed to slam it shut just seconds before he was captured by a couple of grumpy Sycorax warriors. High above them, thousands of Sycorax cheered.

**DOWN IN THE HUB JACK SHOUTED, **making Owen and me jump out of our skins. "No! Not Rose!" Jack stood with his hands wrapped around the edge of the desk, knuckles white and his heart beating fast. "Oh, no. Not Mickey Mouse too." He hung his head. We'd watched, almost entirely in silence as one by one the PM's companions were disintegrated. From this distance, there was nothing we could do except maybe gasp and fume. When Jack first saw the TARDIS shimmer into a solid mass next to the PM, he had cheered, loudly. He thought the Doctor had finally come. But a blonde haired young woman came out instead. Jack stood up, he obviously knew her. "Where is he? Something's wrong." Fear gripped him. If they were by themselves… something was very wrong.

**ROSE FLEW INTO HER ARMS.** The Prime Minister dared to hope. "Rose. Rose! I've got you. My Lord. Oh, my precious thing. The Doctor, is he with you?" She pushed the words out, fearing the worst. If he was coming, surely he would have come already.

Rose whispered in her ear. "No. We're on our own" Harriet heard more than just fear in her voice, there was sadness there too. Her worst fears were coming to life. The Doctor wasn't coming.

Alex read from his handheld. "The yellow girl. She has the clever blue box. Therefore, she speaks for your planet." The Sycorax saw the TARDIS for what is was, advanced technology. And to them, technology meant power.

Harriet gasped. "But she can't." She protested; she couldn't let Rose end up like her other companions.

But Rose was determined. "Yeah, I can." She stepped forward. Stood there like a sacrificial lamb.

Fear tore at Mickey's gut. What the hell was wrong with her? Was she suicidal? They were way out of their league. "Don't you dare." He hissed. Without the Doctor, they had nothing, no hope of getting out of this one alive.

Again, Rose persisted. "Someone's got to be the Doctor." She believed. She believed. This was a better way to live. Even if the Doctor was dying, even if he'd left her, it was still better than chips and buses until you died of boredom.

The Prime Minister tried to stop her. "They'll kill you," she warned. She couldn't have any more blood on her hands. She couldn't bear it.

Rose countered, "Never stopped him." She took a deep breath and thought _here goes nothing_. "I, er, I address the Sycorax according to Article Fifteen of the Shadow Proclamation. I command you to leave this world with all the authority of the Slitheen Parliament of Raxacoricofallapatorius, and er, the Gelth Confederacy as er, sanctioned by the Mighty Jagrafess and, oh, the Daleks! Now, leave this planet in peace! In peace." She'd tapped out. She wasn't the Doctor. She could try but she wasn't him.

A roar swept across the vast army above them as the Sycorax all burst into laughter. Alex gulped, "You are very, very funny. And now you're going to die." God, he hated his job.

The Prime Minister tried to pull away. "Leave her alone!" She struggled to free herself. She couldn't just stand there while they killed another innocent.

Mickey growled, "Don't touch her!" He struggled but they held him tightly.

Harriet chimed in again, "Leave her alone." Harriet and Mickey each struggled to get free but were held back as the leader walked up to Rose. His intent was clear.

Alex shook. He read from his translator. "Did you think you were clever with your stolen words? We are the Sycorax, we stride the darkness. Next to us you are but a wailing child. If you are the best your planet can offer as a champion—"

"Then your world will be gutted." The Sycorax leader spoke gleefully. He was really looking forward to this.

After only a moment's delay, Alex read from the translator. "Then your world will be gutted."

The Sycorax leader finished, "And your people enslaved."

Alex blinked and realized that he could suddenly understand the Sycorax leader. "Hold on, that's English."

"He's talking English," agreed the Prime Minister. She didn't understand the importance of this obviously, but it couldn't be a bad thing.

Rose's heart leaped in her chest. "You're talking English." _Doctor! Doctor! Hurry up!_ They needed him now, more than ever. She was nearly done for and so were half the people of Earth. Now, would be a good time for a dramatic entrance.

The Sycorax leader sneered. "I would never dirty my tongue with your primitive bile."

Rose turned to Mickey who was also feeling rather hopeful. "That's English. Can you hear English?"

He smiled. "Yeah, that's English."

Nervously, Alex nodded and joined in on the agreeing. "Definitely English."

The Sycorax leader hollered. "I speak only Sycoraxic!"

She'd been afraid to hope. Had all but given up. But Rose was suddenly so filled with hope she felt it pound in her chest. "If I can hear English, then it's being translated. Which means it's working. Which means…"

**EVERYONE TURNED TO LOOK AT THE TARDIS.** Our hearts beat as one, we shared the same thought, the same desperate hope. We all, on the Sycorax ship and in the hub held our breath as the blue doors swung open. Rose and Mickey sighed as relief washed over them. Finally, the Doctor had woken up and come to the rescue. The rest of us saw a man, in his pyjamas. "Who's that?" I asked. "Is that the Doctor?" I searched Jack's face for some kind of recognition but I saw none.

He shook his head, he squinted and frowned, tried to get a better look at the man's face. "I don't know who he is. I've never seen him before in my life." Confused and disappointed, Jack slumped. It didn't make any sense. Only the Doctor could fly the TARDIS. Rose couldn't do it and neither could Mickey Mouse. And he had no idea who this guy was unless…

**THE DOCTOR STEPPED UP TO THE THRESHOLD**. He stood in the doorway, arms spread wide and he smiled. "Did you miss me?" Even as relief washed over them, more than one person noted that he was still a cheeky bastard. Infuriated by the interruption, the Sycorax leader cracked his whip, intending to silence this late comer. However, since a Timelord's reaction time is far superior to most species the Doctor easily caught the end of the whip and yanked it out of his hand. In true Doctor form, he chastised the Sycorax as he would a child for running in the hall. "You could have someone's eye out with that."

The Sycorax leader did not appreciate the slight. "How dare!" He shouted in outrage.

The Doctor took two steps forward, snatched a thick club right out of a guard's clutches and broke it across his knee. He muttered, "You just can't get good staff." Then he pointed at the leader and told him sternly, "Now, you, just wait. I'm busy." Then he turned to greet his friends. "Mickey, hello! And Harriet Jones MP for Flydale North. Blimey, it's like _This Is Your Life_." He grinned at Rose. "Tea! That's all I needed, a good cup of tea! Superheated infusion of free radicals and tannin. Just the thing for healing the synapses." He paused just long enough to take a breath. He stood in front of her and in all seriousness asked her, "Now, first thing's first. Be honest, how do I look?"

.

_**Continued in… 22 – Ready, Steady, Blow ('Em Up)**_


	31. C22 Ready, Steady, Blow 'Em Up

_**22 - Ready, Steady, Blow ('Em Up)**_

**W/C: 3804  
>Warningsspoilers/content**: violence and profanity, spoilers for DW2.0 The Christmas Invasion  
><strong>Summary<strong>: The Doctor battles for our freedom. 3PM until 8PM  
><strong>Characters<strong>: Ianto, immortal-Jack, Tosh, Owen, PM Harriett Jones, Alex, 10th Doctor, Rose, Mickey, Sycorax  
><strong>Ianto's New Timeline<strong>: December 25, 2005 (3rd month at Torchwood 3)

* * *

><p>DECEMBER 25, 2005, 3-8 PM<p>

**HE PAUSED JUST LONG ENOUGH TO TAKE A BREATH**. He stood in front of her and in all seriousness asked her, "Now, first thing's first. Be honest, how do I look?" He held his breath. His eyes pleaded.

Rose, used to his wild mood swings and rollercoaster tangents, answered as tactfully as she could, considering their current predicament. "Er, different."

He wasn't mollified. The Doctor prodded a little more. "Good different or bad different?" Hopeful.

Rose shrugged noncommittally. "Just different."

Then came the most important question of all. "Am I ginger?" He held his breath and squished his cheeks up in anticipation.

Rose smirked and broke at least one of his hearts. "No, you're just sort of brown."

The Doctor actually stomped his feet. His disappointment was palpable. "I wanted to be ginger." He whined, loudly. "I've never been ginger. And you, Rose Tyler, fat lot of good you were. You gave up on me. Oh, that's rude. That's the sort of man I am now, am I? Rude. Rude and not ginger." He sighed. He'd begun his new list the moment he woke up.

The Prime Minister saw her opportunity. She asked Rose, "I'm sorry. Who is this?"

This was the sort of thing he'd come to expect. It would be happening quite frequently for the next little while so he'd better get used to it. Every time he regenerated, he had to reintroduce his new face. He smiled at her. "I'm the Doctor."

She looked to Rose for an explanation. She shrugged and nodded. "He's the Doctor." She agreed.

The Prime Minister was disappointed. She'd wanted _her_ Doctor. "But what happened to my Doctor?" Plaintive. "Or is it a title that's just passed on?"

The Doctor was used to this. Humans had a difficult time processing this bit, always had. He explained. "I'm him. I'm literally him. Same man, new face. Well, new everything." He mused; he needed to find a mirror sometime in the near future.

The Prime Minister prided herself on being both practical and open-minded but this… "But you can't be." She insisted.

The Doctor stepped closer, looked into her eyes. "Harriet Jones, we were trapped in Downing Street and the one thing that scared you wasn't the aliens, it wasn't the war, it was the thought of your mother being on her own."

It was him! "Oh, my God." The Prime Minister shifted her understanding of the Universe and made ready to carry on.

He smiled. He saw the mental shift and was impressed. "Did you win the election?"

She was so pleased to be asked. The Prime Minister answered. "Landslide majority." She very nearly glowed.

The Sycorax leader had been stunned at first, by his audacity. But enough was enough! "If I might interrupt." He stormed.

He was feeling a bit scatter-brained, a side effect of regeneration. It was time to concentrate on the problem at hand. "Yes, sorry. Hello, big fellow."

"Who exactly are you?" demanded the Sycorax leader.

He really couldn't have picked a worse time to ask. The Doctor was struggling with his new identity as well. "Well, that's the question," he replied, his uncertainty clear.

The Sycorax leader could only interpret his waffling as subterfuge or evasion. He bellowed, "I demand to know who you are!"

"I DON'T KNOW!" He shouted back, his voice deep and guttural. "See, there's the thing. I'm the Doctor, but beyond that, I just don't know. I literally do not know who I am. It's all untested. Am I funny? Am I sarcastic? Sexy?" He winked at Rose. "Right old misery? Life and soul? Right handed? Left handed? A gambler? A fighter? A coward? A traitor? A liar? A nervous wreck? I mean, judging by the evidence, I've certainly got a gob." He added that to the list.

He'd been moving across the floor, assessing their firepower and weaknesses. "And how am I going to react when I see this, a great big threatening button. A great big threatening button, which must not be pressed under any circumstances, am I right?" The Sycorax followed him across the floor. We followed the Sycorax. "Let me guess. It's some sort of control matrix, hmm? Hold on, what's feeding it?" He crouched down beneath the great big threatening button, followed the wiring to its source. He opened a round container fastened to the base of the pillar. He sniffed. "And what've we got here?" He sniffed again. "Blood?" He dipped a finger into the liquid and rubbed it between his fingers. "Yeah, definitely blood," he concluded. Then he took a taste. "Human blood. A-Positive, with just a dash of iron. _Gah!" _He gaged, slightly revolted. "But that means blood control. Blood control! Oh, I haven't seen blood control for years. You're controlling all the A-Positives. Which leaves us with a great big stinking problem. Because I really don't know who I am. I don't know when to stop. So if I see a great big threatening button which should never, ever, ever be pressed, then I just want to do this." Dramatically, before anyone could stop him, he hit the button.

Everyone—Rose, Mickey, the Prime Minister, even Alex—shouted in unison, "No!"

Down on Earth, one by one, then is great swaths, the people of Earth regained awareness and control.

Horrified, Alex shouted. "You killed them!"

**FINALLY, HER EYES CAME INTO FOCUS**. And there was Owen. "Tosh? Are you okay?" She smiled and it almost took his breath away. "Just a minute okay? I'll be right back." He ran up the stairs to tell us she was all right.

**THE DOCTOR SMILED KNOWINGLY**. "What do you think, big fellow? Are they dead?" He glanced at the Sycorax leader and gloated just a little. _Arrogant._ _Check._

The Sycorax leader blustered, unwilling to admit his fraud. "We allow them to live." He blustered, unconvincingly.

"Allow?" The Doctor scoffed. "You've no choice. I mean, that's all blood control is. A cheap bit of voodoo. Scares the pants off you, but that's as far as it goes." He turned to us and explained. "It's like hypnosis. You can hypnotise someone to walk like a chicken or sing like Elvis. You can't hypnotise them to death. Survival instinct's too strong." _Smug. Check. Added to the list._

"**IANTO! JACK! SHE'S BACK."** He slid to a stop at the top of the steps. His eyes locked with mine. "Is it… can I free her? Is it safe?"

I smiled and nodded. "Ya, absolutely." Owen turned and sprinted back down to the med bay where Tosh was waiting (impatiently) for his return. She really had to go.

**HE WOULDN'T BACK DOWN.** The Sycorax leader brushed this small loss aside. Irrelevant. "Blood control was just one form of conquest. I can summon the armada and take this world by force." Either way this world would be his.

Next came the tricky part, getting out of this situation without a war. "Well, _yeah,_ you could, yeah, you could do that, of course you could. But why?" He spread his arms wide. "Look at these people. These human beings. Consider their potential. From the day they arrive on the planet and blinking, step into the sun, there is more to see than can ever be seen. More to do than... No, hold on. Sorry, that's The Lion King. But the point still stands. Leave them alone!" He needed to stay focussed. So many thoughts, so many memories were flooding his mind, overloading his synapsis. He felt completely manic. Those first few hours were the hardest and they probably weren't the best time to be negotiating inter-species peace.

He wasn't impressed by all these empty words. It was time to end this insipid wailing. The Sycorax leader demanded, "Or what?"

So, talking it out wasn't going very well. He scanned their weaponry and came up with Plan B. "Or," he declared. Swiftly, he snatched a long sword from one of the Sycorax guards standing idly by and ran back towards the TARDIS where he shouted, "I challenge you."

The peanut gallery above came alive with boisterous laughter. They stomped and jeered and waited for their afternoon entertainment to begin.

The Doctor mused, "Oh, that struck a chord. Am I right that the sanctified rules of combat still apply?" He challenged with a confidence he hoped was well placed. You never knew with a new body. It was hard to tell if he was a useless spaz or a warrior Time Lord.

He was going to kill this puny little man and silence his mouth once and for all. But he had been challenged. He would honor the rules. So, he said the proper words, "You stand as this world's champion."

"Thank you. I've no idea who I am, but you just summed me up." The Doctor threw his dressing gown to Rose then he turned to his opponent. "So, you accept my challenge? Or are you just a cranak pel casacree salvak?" He knew the insult would both incite outrage and force their leader to accept his challenge.

Through a blinding fog of fury, the Sycorax leader completed the ritual dance. "For the planet?"

The Doctor nodded curtly. "For the planet." Then as their swords clashed, the battle began. Traditionally, it would end when one of them died.

Rose looked on, confusion and fear muddled her thoughts. She screamed, "Look out!" She was only trying to be helpful.

"Oh, yeah, that helps." The Doctor retorted, sarcasm dripping heavily. "Wouldn't have thought of that otherwise, thanks." _Sarcastic. Check_. He fought and he watched. His opponent was obviously an experienced swordsman but his decisions were clouded by anger. The Doctor could use that to his advantage. To avoid being backed into a corner, he retreated up a tunnel. He saw an exit sign a headed straight for it. "Bit of fresh air?" He suggested glibly.

He was driven through the doorway, out onto the Spaceship hull. It took a moment for his eyes to adjust to the bright light of day. He fought valiantly but the Sycorax leader easily drove him to the edge. He teetered and was stunned by a hit on the nose. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Rose run forward. He shouted a warning. "Stay back! Invalidate the challenge and he wins the planet." After a few more heavy strikes, the leader knocked him to the ground. Then, in one fell swoop he slashed and sliced off the Doctor's sword hand. As it fell to Earth, with his sword, the Doctor shouted indignantly, "You cut my hand off!"

"**OH GOD! I CAN'T WATCH!" **Jack turned away, began to pace. "He cut off his hand. I can't watch him die. I can't…" Jack mumbled, pulled at his hair and swore in every language he knew. Then he started praying.

I went to him. "Jack… come on. He's not going to die. Just give him a minute. You know the Doctor. He's always got one more trick up his sleeve." I soothed the best I could.

Tosh had been burning with curiosity. But the tension in the room was thicker than molasses. A distraction might do them some good. She turned to Jack and asked, "How are we getting this feed Jack?"

Oh, sweet Tosh. She always said the right thing. He tried to drag himself out of the eternal pit of despair his mind had been furnishing. He smiled at her. "Oh, you know… advanced technology."

"Figures." She snorted in disgust. "You have advanced skills in the field of vague and meaningless answers, Jack. I should make you a plaque. I'll post it in your office." Tosh shot a sarcastic repartee over his bow. It felt good when he chuckled.

**THE SYCORAX LEADER DID HIS HAPPY DANCE **and shouted. "Ya! Sycorax!" He stood over the Doctor and savoured his triumph**.**

The Doctor allowed him the moment. Then anger took over. He felt the Oncoming Storm swirling and building in his soul. "And now I know what sort of man I am. I'm lucky. Because quite by chance I'm still within the first fifteen hours of my regeneration cycle, which means I've got just enough residual cellular energy to do this." He held up his arm and concentrated, hard. He redirected a great burst of regenerative energy towards the end of his arm. And quite miraculously, he grew a new hand to replace the one so rudely cut off.

Startled, the Sycorax leader hissed, "Witchcraft."

"Time Lord," countered the Doctor. He grinned.

Rose shouted, trying to get his attention. "Doctor!" When he turned his head, she threw him another sword.

He was thankful; he did not intend to lose his new hand or the body attached to it for quite some time yet. "Oh, so I'm still the Doctor, then?" The barb was childish he knew, but he was still sore about her giving up on him. _Lucky. Childish. Check_.

Rose took it gladly. "No arguments from me!" Her megawatt grin shone, she was proud to be his friend.

The Doctor addressed the Sycorax leader, more determined than ever. "Want to know the best bit? This new hand? It's a fighting hand!" He leapt into the foray and pressed his opponent backwards. He'd pushed him off balance; he'd keep pushing until he fell. They fought for the planet, their swords clashing, muscles burning. Finally, the Doctor disarmed the Sycorax and knocked him to his knees. His sword fell and clanked loudly on the hull. The Doctor bent and picked it up. With both hilts, he dealt his opponent a double-thump to the abdomen, knocking him over. He was lying, belly up, right on the edge when the Doctor stood over him, victorious.

"I win," he declared loudly, for all to hear. He pointed the tip of his sword at the leader of the Sycorax.

"Then kill me." He'd lost. He'd shamed his line and his life was forfeit.

The Doctor wanted to end this peacefully. "I'll spare your life if you'll take this Champion's command. Leave this planet, and never return. What do you say?" It was still possible. He hoped he would take the offer. He'd seen enough death in the last day to last a lifetime. Let this be a day of peace after all.

The Sycorax leader blinked and then gave his answer. "Yes."

"Swear on the blood of your species," the Doctor insisted.

The words came out reluctantly. "I swear." Even as he said them, he knew the words were meaningless. This truce, it was an impossible thing. He was dead, either way. He had to die in battle. His family would be dishonored if he didn't. He still had a chance to redeem himself. The humans are weak, too trusting.

The Doctor was overcome with relief. He didn't want to kill. It went against everything inside of him. _Merciful. Check_. "There we are, then. Thanks for that. Cheers, big fellow." Thankfully, he let the sword drop from his hand and left it where it fell.

The Prime Minister was bursting with pride. "Bravo!" she called while she clapped loudly. Her Doctor was amazing.

Rose joined in. "That says it all. Bravo!" She felt relief and exhaustion in equal measure.

They walked towards each other and the Doctor smiled at Rose. "Ah, not bad for a man in his jim-jams." Rose nodded, still grinning. She held out the dressing gown and helped him put it on. He took a good long look at his attire and slipped his hands into the pockets. "Very Arthur Dent. Now, there was a nice man. Hold on, what have I got in here? A Satsuma?" He looked at Rose curiously.

"Ah, that friend of your mothers. He does like his snacks doesn't he? But doesn't that just sum up Christmas? You go through all those presents and right at the end, tucked away at the bottom, there's always one stupid old Satsuma. Who wants a Satsuma?" The Doctor rambled. He very much hoped that his opponent would keep his promise but didn't expect him to. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw the Sycorax stand up.

He could not let this moment pass. He pulled himself up to his feet, his mind made up. He reached down, grabbed his sword and ran at the Doctor's back.

Disappointment won. He took a hold of the Satsuma and threw it at the control panel he'd seen earlier on the spaceship hull. As the button was depressed, a portion of the wing retracted, leaving the leader of the Sycorax without a hull to stand on. His face held a genuinely surprised expression as he fell to his death somewhere over the middle of London.

The Doctor turned just in time to see him fall. The Oncoming Storm burned in his eyes. "No second chances. I'm that sort of a man." They made their way back to the center of the spaceship, where the TARDIS stood waiting. He raised his voice and addressed the Sycorax hoard. "By the ancient rites of combat, I forbid you to scavenge here for the rest of time. And when go you back to the stars and tell others of this planet, when you tell them of its riches, its people, its potential. When you talk of the Earth, make sure that you tell them this. IT IS DEFENDED!" Moments later, a blue teleportation field engulfed the lot of them and deposited Harriet, Alex, Rose, Mickey and the Doctor, alongside the TARDIS somewhere near Rose's flat.

"**HELL YA! IT IS DEFENDED!"** Jack did several air punches and almost clicked his heels together. I think the tension had gotten to him. He canted his head and wiggled his fingers at Owen. "Come on, admit it, he's good. You have to admit it." I was grinning like a fool. I was moved. If I were alone with Jack, I'd probably be skipping around the hub throwing air punches too. Once we figured out it was the Doctor, we were torn. Something pretty horrible had to have happened for him to stumble out of the TARDIS, close to the bad end of a global crisis, with a new face, in his pyjamas to boot. But the fact that he'd come at all… well that gave us all hope. His speech at the end had brought a little tear to my eye. Jack told us that for him to get a new face the Doctor must have died and regenerated. Our live feed from the Sycorax ship was cut off the moment they transported the survivors and the TARDIS down to the planet's surface. We were getting reports now from people on the ground. London was in chaos. Cars left in the streets. Looting. Massive crowds trying to exit the city. Armed mobs ready to do battle.

"Jack. I'm getting an alert. Massive energy spike right in the center of London." Tosh was switching to satellite view when we gathered behind her desk.

**FIVE GREEN ENERGY BEAMS STREAKED UP INTO THE SKY**, met at a central point and then fired out into space. The Sycorax asteroid ship had been leaving orbit when it exploded. The blast wave shot out in all directions like a tsunami, destroying several orbiting satellites that had been in range. We had a clear view of the orbiting ship and the five beams for about five seconds. Then we lost the feed. From above, it looked like the five energy beams had been arranged in an equidistant star pattern but the destructive capabilities of this weapon made it the most deadly Christmas star London had ever seen.

We looked on in horror and realized Torchwood One had destroyed the alien spaceship even though it was leaving Earth peacefully. Jack was the first to speak. "Oh… the Doctor's going to be mad." Our eyes met. "Whoever's responsible for this is going to be sorry."

Owen frowned. "What's the problem? They terrorized the planet for the better part of the day. They threatened to kill us or enslave us. They put Tosh through that. The bastards deserve to get blown to shit. I say good riddance." He crossed his arms in closing. Tosh shrugged and made an _it-did-suck-an-awful-lot_ face.

I sighed. It was hard to argue with logic like that. Jack explained. "The Doctor went through all that just so he could find a peaceful solution. He doesn't like guns."

"Well maybe if there were more guns today the Major and that silly shit Llewellyn wouldn't be dead," Owen argued.

"Maybe. I don't know. Or, maybe it would've gotten worse a whole lot faster. Three people died up there. Two of ours and one of theirs. It could have been a whole lot worse. They could've started bombing from orbit the moment they arrived."

Owen tilted his head in acknowledgement but he was still angry. "Fair point. I guess I'm just not a humanitarian. I'm a get even kind of guy." He sat down on the sofa, next to Tosh, wrapped an arm around her shoulder and gave her a gentle squeeze. She closed her eyes, her head lolled against Owen. He'd sapped the last of his energy reserves arguing with Jack. Now all he wanted to do was sleep.

As we became lost in our own thoughts, a heavy silence fell over the hub. Exhaustion made talking difficult and walking nearly impossible. Except for Jack, who bounced around like a hummingbird on speed. I stood, with a lot of help from the desk in front of me. I was supporting my body on locked arms, my fingers wrapped in a vicelike grip around the edge of the desk. I was contemplating my options. Desk. Office chair. Floor. Stinky chair in the corner. I was trying to approximate their distances in my head so I could calculate the cost benefit ratio associated with each move. I just couldn't justify the effort required to move to any other location so I stayed where I was for the time being.

Jack bounced up behind me, making me tense. He placed his hands gently around my tight shoulder muscles then dipped soothingly down my back and then back up to rest at my neck. He leaned forward, rested his chin in the crook of my neck and announced decidedly, "You're way too tense." He hummed, pondering. "You know what you need?" He spun me around and once we were face-to-face he pointed a finger into my chest. He smiled playfully and then quirked an eyebrow suggestively. "A couple of hyper-vodkas would really do the trick." I shook my head and pressed my lips together in an uneven line.

Owen and Tosh looked at each other, sighed in unison then let their heads fall back limply against the back of the sofa. "You know what we really need?" Owen paused, making sure he had our attention then mimed a two-fingered-joint grip. Then he said with absolute seriousness, "A little weed and a little Thai massage."

I snorted embarrassingly loud. I had to admit the prospect of achieving a state of relaxed apathy sounded tempting. I had to laugh at Jack's shocked expression.

"What?" Owen challenged. "A hyper-vodka is okay but a joint isn't?" He harrumphed. "Nobody ever died from weed Jack."

Jack had to admit, he'd died quite a few times from overindulging in hyper-vodkas and it wasn't a nice way to go.

I smiled, knowingly and gave them another option. "How about a little turkey instead?"

_**Continued in… 22 – Christmas Gifts**_


	32. C23 Christmas Gifts

**_23 – Christmas Gifts_**

**W/C: **3552  
><strong>Warningsspoilers/content**: mild sexual content , sappy smut, profanity  
><strong>Summary<strong>: After the Christmas invasion the team spend the evening at the hub.  
><strong>Characters<strong>: Ianto, immortal-Jack, Tosh, Owen  
><strong>Ianto's New Timeline<strong>: Dec 25, 2005 – after 8PM**  
><strong>

* * *

><p>DECEMBER 25, 2005, 8:48 PM<p>

"**OOOOH," JACK WHINED. "COME ON!"** He complained loudly. Frankly, he was getting peeved. He was tired. And he'd just gotten comfortable. Jack pushed his chair out from the table and stomped over to the nearest terminal. It was his turn to check the rift alert. Fair and square. It had been bleeping all bloody night. _The Torchwood Christmas Curse_. That's what we'd taken to calling it. Christmas was always crazy. Sometimes dangerous. Sometimes almost the end of the world. It was especially bad if you lived in London. In Cardiff, it was usually small to medium sized emergencies. Bored Weevils, lost intergalactic tourists, that kind of thing. Nothing on the global disaster scale. "My turkey's gonna get cold!" He was scowling like an eight year old and still complaining loudly. The rest of the team paid very little attention, as they were busy tucking into their Christmas dinner.

.

"I'll warm it up for you Jack." I assured him with a cheeky grin.

.

"Gee thanks." He shot back. He took a close look at the report and then flicked through the CCTV footage. "Oh, it's nothing. Just a Weevil sighting. It's only one… it'll probably go back to the sewers by itself." He shot a sly look over at the team. "What?" He exclaimed. He got a look from each of us, ranging from disapproval to amusement. "It's a freakin holiday. That's what you keep telling me. So I'm gonna eat my holiday dinner that Ianto so thoughtfully provided for us."

.

"Good." I said in spite of Owen's reproving look. "Come and sit down. We all deserve a break. No one is in any shape to chase a stupid Weevil. One of us will just end up dead," I added seriously.

.

Tosh nodded emphatically. "I'm blasted. No way I'm getting up. Not even sure I can make it home." She looked like hell. Her face was ashen, her thick black hair hung limply. Her wrists were bruised and bloody as were her ankles. Her stomach hurt from the strain of trying to escape her bonds for four straight hours.

.

Owen hadn't _stopped_ scowling since six o'clock this morning. He'd been a complete mess the whole day. He'd been in agony right alongside Tosh as she struggled relentlessly to free herself. The compulsion had been strong. She said she couldn't remember a thing but I thought I saw something in her eyes that told me a different story. He started slamming shots around 8 AM. Then when frustration got the better of him, he threw the shot-glass against the wall. So after that he just drank from the bottle. It went downhill from there. He'd actually cleaned the hub out, drank every single drop of Jack's booze, even found the emergency booze hidden in various places around the hub. Owen didn't take too kindly to feeling useless or ineffectual.

.

Jack was wound up so tight he could barely sit still. It was impressive considering his current state of exhaustion. So in typical Jack fashion he pushed himself and kept his body in constant motion. He was dead on his feet, his body vibrating with pent up tension. He was also bleary eyed and uncoordinated so it wasn't a big surprise that he managed to trip and/or bump into nearly every object he encountered.

.

**I'D BEEN FEELING STRANGE ALL EVENING** ever since the main event had died down. My mind was shrouded in a thick unfamiliar cloud and periodically I'd gasp uncontrollably as my senses were bombarded and overcome by an impending sense of doom that seemed to permeate the air. Owen was scrutinizing me openly and I knew he'd caught me flinching from the pain and gasping in shock earlier. I tried to brush it off but he was operating at zero tolerance for _Torchwood-related-employee-medical-issues_ so he continued to follow me with the keen observant eyes of a highly trained physician.

.

"Bloody fucking hell!" Owen shouted in disgust. "I'm totally fucking sober. And I'm out of booze!" He held his pounding head between his hands. He couldn't quite hold it still. It was beating to the damn rumba and some stupid tap-dancer was doing a number on the inside of his eyes. He stood up, picked up his empty paper plate and dumped it in the trash bin. I thought it was quite considerate of him all things considered. "Jack…" he lowered his voice a few notches. "I'm going to sedate you if you can't still your body." It was an effective threat. Jack stilled his bouncing leg, stopped thumping his fork against the table and clamped his lips together. He managed an impressive moment of calm. But that was it. His breathing sped up and he shot up out of the chair. He stuck out his tongue at Owen and sprinted up the stairs to his office without a backwards glance. "Right. He's out of the way." Owen muttered under his breath. Then he caught me in his net and reeled me in. "You." He pointed at me. "Med Bay. Now." He walked gingerly across the floor and down the steps.

.

_Oh shit_, I thought. _What now?_ I followed the terrifying doctor down into his lair. When I came around the corner, he was injecting himself with a rather large dose of his _super-alien-pain-killer_ concoction. "Come on." He chin pointed to the chair opposite him. "I've got to get this pounding under control. I can't think straight. I was gonna go with the 'keep drinking until I pass out method' but I ran out of booze. This will have to do." He plopped down in a chair, his head fell back and his face smoothed out. "Oh. That is _so_ much better." He sighed. "This shit is great." He was pretty proud of his new mixture. "You're in pain." It was a statement. "Where does it hurt?" He demanded in a terse voice.

.

I swallowed nervously. This was going to sound crazy. But it really hurt. "My head." I said quietly.

.

"How does it hurt? Where?" He pressed. His mind was clear and he was instantly concerned.

.

I thought and I struggled for the words to explain. "It's not like any headache I've ever had. It's not a pounding or even a sharp stabbing. It's like a wave. A really painful, huge wave." He looked at me blankly so I went on. "It's not inside." I whispered, sure he would mock me. He didn't, he just nodded. "It's coming from somewhere outside my head. And I know that sounds bat-shit crazy so don't start with me—"

.

He cut me off. "—How often?" He sounded serious and it took me aback.

.

"Ah… it's not consistent. For a while, it was every few minutes. While we were eating it only came once or twice."

.

"When exactly?" He picked up a notepad and shifted his chair a little closer.

.

I thought, hard. "When Jack was checking the rift alert. And then when Tosh was talking about… _ahh_… going home." I couldn't see a pattern. It just didn't make any sense.

.

He frowned, jotted down a few notes then set the note-pad on the counter. "Get up there. I'll check you out." He waited for me to switch seats and he retrieved the deep tissue scanner from the cabinet. He scanned the back of my neck and then my head. He ran the scanner over my skin slowly and watched the readout carefully for any anomaly. "You're blood pressure is high, really high but that could be due to stress. Your adrenals are doing a marathon and _wow…_ your brain activity is off the charts." He took out a pen light and checked my pupillary response. "How are you feeling right now?" Suddenly his tone was a lot more compassionate than before.

.

"I… I feel kind of dizzy. Like I stood up too fast." I rolled my eyes. "That's stupid though because I'm sitting down." I gripped my head with one hand and massaged my scalp. "I feel a wave now but it's not as painful as it was up there. I don't get it." I was so frustrated.

.

"Hmmm." He made a thoughtful sound and checked a file on his computer. "Did you have this before today?"

.

"Not really. Well maybe." I admitted after a moment's thought. "I think I felt a little wave yester..." Then something went _CLICK_ and my inner, more clever, often ignored voice lobbed a _Duh_ and a _No shit, Batman _at eyes grew wide as I realized where I'd felt this sensation before.

.

"What? What is it?" Owen was on alert. He'd seen my face change and now he wanted answers.

.

I chewed on my bottom lip and waggled my cheeks around a bit as I deliberated. "I think you should call Jack." I mumbled. I hadn't told Jack yet that I could sense him. I hadn't really had a chance. My inner-cheeky-yet-honest-monkey shouted_ Liar!_ I was totally chicken shit scared to tell him. I didn't fancy telling Owen before I told him. That would be way worse.

.

Owen picked up his phone, dialed Jack's extension and waited impatiently for him to answer. He was tapping his foot to an angry beat and scowling again.

.

"Yep," answered Jack.

.

"Get down here. Now," he demanded. Then he hung up.

.

Jack came down the steps two at a time, skidded around the corner at a run and overshot it. He bumped into the corner as he came around it and cursed loudly. "Ouch!" He was panting by the time he made it down the stairs. "What? What's happened?" His eyes landed on me and they bugged out in concern. "What's wrong with you?" he asked in earnest.

.

"I'm fine Jack. Calm down. You're going to blow a gasket." I looked to Owen for back-up and saw he was looking at Jack with narrowed evaluative eyes. _Ah_, I thought. _He didn't just call him down here for me_… The wave came crashing down and I almost blacked out from the pain. By the time I could open my eyes I was lying down on the bed and both Owen and Jack were standing over me. "Aaaraghh…. Fuck me. That hurts" I groaned in pain.

.

"Does it always get worse when he's around?" Owen asked. He was a perceptive fellow. Must be why he gets paid the big-bucks.

.

I nodded and clenched my eyes together. The wave kept coming. "Jack!" I gasped. "Stop it!" I begged. I'd curled up into a foetal position and wrapped my arms uselessly around my skull.

.

Jack reached out fearfully and stroked my back. "What do mean? What am I doing?" He was looking at Owen, desperately trying to figure this out.

.

"Didn't you tell me once… a few years ago… that you have some telepathic abilities?" ventured Owen. When Jack nodded but still looked confused he continued on. "I think you must be projecting… and he's picking up your…" Owen shrugged apologetically. "Pain," he said finally.

.

Jack's eyes widened and he too gasped. He pulled his hand away like it was burning. He closed his eyes and focussed inwards. He closed himself off and constructed a sturdy barrier around his mind. The instant he finished my entire body relaxed. My muscles went so lax I nearly oozed off the bed. "Oh thank god." I sighed in relief. I lie there a moment relishing the silence and my newfound painless state. I sighed again. "Thank you for whatever you just did. It just shut off the wave. The pain is totally gone." I tried to sit up but they pressed me backwards. They were concerned that I'd hurt myself. I looked at Owen and pursed my lips. "Owen could you give us a moment in private? Trust me… you don't want to hear this." I assured him, my tone of voice left no doubt in his mind as to the subject matter of the upcoming conversation so he nodded and strode stiffly up the stairs.

.

"What's going on? Are you alright?" Jack was concerned and at his wits end.

.

I nodded and reached for his hand. I felt like such a schmuck. "I've been feeling kinda funny lately." I began. "Especially when we're touching." He listened in silence. "It started the other day but I didn't know what it was. Then again yesterday when we kissed." His eyebrows shot up. "And _ahh_… when we were in bed." I sighed and closed my eyes for a few seconds. "I think I can sense your feelings Jack." I finally got it out. I waited for his reaction. I thought maybe he'd be mad. Annoyed that I hadn't told him sooner. Irritated that I'd invaded his privacy. His lips curled up and the smile grew until it spread across his gorgeous face. He leaned towards me and kissed me soundly.

.

"Ianto Jones have you been reading my mind?" His eyes sparkled and there was a playful song in his voice.

.

I blinked, several times. Then I smiled too. "I guess. But not—you know—words. I can just feel how you feel." I saw him in a new light. "Guess you've been pretty stressed today." It made a lot more sense now, all his bouncing and twitching. He was seriously freaked out. "Lots of worries." I whispered. "The… device, the Sycorax, Tosh… a new Doctor." I listed the culprits and I caressed his face.

.

"You two finished making out yet?" Owen bellowed from the top of the stairs. "I have had enough shit today. I want answers. Now." He was fed up. Needed to feel necessary. After the day we'd had.

.

Jack looked questioningly at me and I nodded. Owen saw our exchange and nearly started ranting but Jack turned to him and smiled. "Well, apparently Ianto's developed some empathic abilities." He smiled gamely, chuckled at Owen's look of surprise. "I haven't had to shield myself for years. No one around to worry about. He's been getting bombarded all day and his defenses are low. He needs to rest, I'm sure you'll agree." He waited for Owen's terse nod and then continued. "And tomorrow… we'll start your training." He turned to me. "You'll need to learn how to shield yourself first. Too much input really hurts—as you now know—so that's the most important thing to learn."

.

Owen sighed and shook his head in dismay. "I don't have any experience with this Jack. I'll need some literature and some info on how to treat any side-effects." Jack nodded in agreement and assured him that he'd get the info tomorrow. Tonight we all needed some sleep.

.

Owen yawned and his eyes watered. He was utterly knackered. "I'll collect Tosh and make sure she gets home safe and sound." He patted me on the shoulder. "You tell me if the pain comes back, ya?" He was a good doctor our Owen. "Goodnight you two." He snatched up his coat and called a taxi for him and Tosh.

.

Owen must have briefed her because a few moments later she came down to see if I was okay. I told her I felt almost good and she frowned when Jack chuckled. "It's okay. I feel much better now." I hugged her and urged her to take care of herself. "You should sleep. For as long as you possibly can."

.

Jack piped in. "And don't even think about coming in tomorrow. Take the day off, Tosh." He commanded and waited for her reluctant nod.

.

I rearranged the sprig of mistletoe I'd pinned to her jacket earlier in the evening. "Look Tosh, you're a walking kiss magnet." I leaned in and gave her a quick kiss on the lips. She smiled prettily and hugged me again.

.

"Ooh!—ooh—ooh—ooh!" Jack bounced and jiggled in excitement. "My turn!" He wrapped his arms around her slender form, dipped her dramatically and kissed her hard until she sputtered. "Happy Christmas, Tosh." He added and then let her go. She waved over her shoulder as she made her way up the med bay steps. They left arm in arm, supporting each other out into the cold dark night.

.

**OUTSIDE, TOSH AND OWEN STOOD WAITING FOR A TAXI.** Owen was exhausted. He'd been so concerned about Tosh today, felt so useless, powerless to help. She'd been brave and trusting. Now, she clung to him tightly, for support and comfort.

.

She smiled and played with the sprig of mistletoe pinned to her lapel. She chuckled, her cheeks colored a touch as she remembered her two kisses. Owen looked down and it seemed to be calling out to him, taunting him into action. She looked up at him and their eyes locked. They met somewhere in the middle, as you do when you've been waiting for someone to kiss you for a long, long time.

**.**

**JACK HELPED ME UP OUT OF MY CHAIR AND PULLED ME ALONG** under protest past the messy dinner table and down into the safety of his bunker. We dropped our clothes piece by piece along the route to the shower. Few words were spoken; our touches said all we wanted to say. Once we were standing under the scalding hot stream of water and Jack had managed to wrap his body around mine he whispered in my ear. "I thought I felt something shift a few days ago." He murmured in my ear. "I wasn't sure though when you didn't say anything. But I've been feeling your emotions too," he finally admitted. He looked deep into my eyes, mesmerized me with those swirling blue pools. I felt trapped, in a good way. Trapped in his warmth. Safe in his embrace. "I'm sorry. I didn't notice you were in pain." He'd been so wrapped up in his own.

.

"We've been a tad distracted today, Jack. I think it's forgivable." I whispered back. I cupped his cheek with my palm and then slid it behind his head. My fingers combed through his wet hair. "I can't feel you now. Are you shielding?" He nodded and I frowned a little. "Are you going to shield from now on?" He smiled and shook his head from side to side.

.

"I'm just trying to give your poor brain a break." He brushed a finger across my temple. "I promise I won't keep you out. It's been a long time since I could communicate this way. In some ways… I prefer it to words. It's so much… simpler." He took the bar of soap in his hands and began lathering my chest; his hands snaked around my hip and over my arse.

.

I sighed in relief. "I was worried about your reaction. I thought maybe you'd be irritated by the invasion." I admitted my fears candidly. I groaned when his soapy hands ran between my legs. We were barely standing on our own without support from the wall. "I'm a bit tired." I said.

.

He nodded. "Me too." He leaned back until he was flush against the tiled wall and then he pulled me to him. Our lower bodies locked into place. His slick hands wrapped around my cock and pressed it to his. He stroked us at a languid pace and our groans filled the steamy air. My toes curled when he kissed me. I'd never get enough of his mouth, so hot and wet—a blur of teeth and lips and tongue. He nipped and I sucked. A battle ensued as it always did. The good kind; there were no losers here, only winners. My hands roamed his flesh, squeezed and stroked and teased. I played with his body like my favorite toy and I reveled in the filthy sounds drawn from between those lips. We danced our little dance and when our bodies tensed, I laced my fingers between his. We stroked frantically now until our release. Then we both sighed and leaned a little harder against the tiled wall.

.

We stumbled to bed still slightly damp, not a drop of energy to spare. I wrapped my arms around him and we twined our legs together under the warm blanket on his ridiculously narrow bed. My last thought before I drifted off was _I need to get him a wider bed_.

_**.**_

_**Continued in… 23 – House Calls**_


	33. C24 House Calls

_**24 – HOUSE CALLS**_

**W/C: **1720**  
>Warningsspoilers/content**: PG13, angst and profanity, reference to DW1.13-The Parting of the Ways  
><strong>Summary<strong>: The Doctor makes a house call and Jack gets some answers.  
><strong>Characters<strong>: Ianto, immortal-Jack, 10th Doctor  
><strong>Ianto's New Timeline<strong>: Boxing Day, 2005  
><strong>AN:** Sorry… this chapter is really short. I decided to post shorter chapters to reduce the pressure I'm inflicting upon myself. **  
><strong>

* * *

><p>BOXING DAY, 2005<p>

**IT WAS EARLY—WAY TOO FRACKIN EARLY**—when the rift alarm started bleeping again. "Your turn," Jack groaned. He was right. It was definitely my turn. I rolled out of bed, my body reeled in shock as my feet hit the hard cold floor and my skin braced against the cold damp air. "Damn you Cardiff," I muttered disdainfully. Even my goose bumps were shivering.

I stumbled down the grating metal steps and slammed my hand down on the alarm button, mercifully cutting it off. I brought up the monitor so I could see what the hell was going on. According to the rift monitor, there'd been no activity. What we had was a proximity alert. I checked the CCTV cameras overlooking the Plas and I was shocked by what I saw. I hollered, "Jack! Jack, you'd better get down here. You're gonna want to see this!" I was grinning ear to ear.

I heard him groan loudly and curse in a language I'd never heard before. "What the hell is it?" He popped his head through the manhole that led down into his bedroom. _Sex pit._ "It better be good." He was in a foul mood; he'd been hoping to sleep in. He reached the top of the stairs and stretched like an old cat, creaking and complaining.

I pushed out my chair and stood up. I had a feeling his mood was about to improve. "Oh, it is." My grin was face splitting. "We have a visitor." He looked at me blankly. "There's a little blue box parked next to the lift."

"You're kidding me?" He covered the distance between us quickly. I pointed to the screen showing the Plas and the Doctor's TARDIS. He smiled, then pursed his lips. He took a step and looked like he was about to pace. Only, he kind of froze. The look on his face said he may have forgotten how. He was nervous. "I gotta get dressed," he announced, having finally come to a decision. He trotted up the steps, scurried down the ladder and jumped to the ground bypassing the last two steps. He put on his uniform—white undershirt, blue shirt, dark trousers and his braces—in record time. I took a little longer and a little more care getting dressed to see the Doctor. I choose a dress casual ensemble. I was aiming for versatility. Knowing the Doctor's penchant for finding trouble, tea could easily turn into chaos; we could end up anywhere in space and time doing just about anything. By the time I made it back down to the hub, Jack was just finishing up in the bathroom. His face was damp, his hair was sticking straight up and his shirtsleeves were rolled up over his forearms. He was ready to get down to business.

I put a pot of coffee on because no matter who was waiting, I didn't voluntarily start my day without an adequate jolt of coffee. That's when Jack decided to start pacing, impatiently. "Do you want a cup of coffee or not?" Stern. He fluttered his lovely blue eyes and smiled like a naughty puppy caught doing something bad or annoying. The puppy knows his best defense is cute. He whispered his thanks and kissed me on the cheek. Mostly, because that's what I offered. I hadn't brushed my teeth yet.

Once fortified and cleaned, I presented myself and declared my readiness. He was a bundle of nerves. I knew what he was thinking. _What if he just left? What if he got tired of waiting? What if? What if? What if?_ But I knew he was dead wrong. I'd checked. The TARDIS had appeared, presumably uncloaked at 6:38:04 AM. He'd arrived while we slept. He hadn't come knocking. However, he had presented himself, parked the TARDIS out in the open. He knew we'd see him. He was waiting for us to come to him.

We took the invisible lift up to the Plas. Mostly, because it's cool. He gripped my hand in his. We stepped off the paving stone together. It was only a few paces away. I smiled at Jack. He was running his hand over the front door reverentially. He loved this old girl. His favorite ship, hands down. I couldn't feel her yet. But I remembered her mental hum fondly. Finally, Jack rapped on the door.

The Doctor answered right away. It was as if he'd been standing at the door waiting for our knock. The little blue door swung inwards, revealing the same man we'd seen on our monitors only without the pyjamas. He grinned and greeted us keenly. His hair stood at attention, his brown pinstripe suit hung crisp and neat. He invited us in with a sweep of his arm. "Jack. Ianto." His soft brown eyes held an intensity that was hard to meet. He exuded power and nervous energy. It was hard, looking at him; I couldn't see anything left of our Doctor at all. He was completely changed. We were nervous; it felt like we were meeting a superstar for the first time. He was nervous too; he had a reason for being here, he just hadn't got to it yet.

So we followed him, this new Doctor, to the kitchen. Even that had changed. He had the table set for three. He was chain-drinking tea, couldn't get enough of the stuff. He served up a strange, mishmash of food. He seemed to be sampling, going through a process of elimination. "Everything all right Doctor?" Jack seemed concerned by the Doctor's unusual behaviour. "I thought you liked bananas?"

"Oh, I did. Yes." He frowned. "But this new mouth doesn't seem to enjoy the texture very much." He stuffed a rather large, juicy looking strawberry into his gob and his eyes went wide. He moaned, loudly. He rubbed his cheeks in delight. "Strawberries! Of course. I love these. They're brilliant, they are."

I gave the prospect of having to start over with my taste buds some consideration. "That must be frustrating." He hummed. His mouth was still full. "You have to figure out what you like all over again?" He nodded. "Everything?" He nodded again. "That sounds rather tedious." My comment sparked a thought and he swallowed the mouthful of strawberries.

"Weeelll. It can be. It can also be exciting and new. Wait... Isn't that from the _Love Boat_?" He continued on when we stared back at him blankly. "Sorry. I keep having startlingly clear flashbacks of old sitcom theme tunes." He smiled and passed another beauty to Jack. "Here, Jack. Try this. It's absolutely perfect." He looked like an eager three year old, proudly giving away his favourite toy. My eyes settled on his fighting hand once or twice. It hardly stayed still long enough for a good inspection.

Jack took the proffered strawberry and popped it into his mouth. He made a little noise, clearly appreciating the flavor explosion. But after a moment of serious thought, Jack caught my eye. I saw him arrive at a decision. "So. Doctor." Jack began, uncertain. "How's the hand?" He hadn't meant to say that. It just popped out at the last minute. He'd meant to ask _why he was here_, _where he had been_, _why he'd been late_ and at the very least _why a sword fight_. Sometimes, it's hard to believe your mouth is attached to a brain. Your brain. You'd think you'd have more control over the things that come out of it.

The thing is, the Doctor's rather clever. He does have a brain the size of a planet after all. He knew exactly what Jack meant to say. Slowly, his soft brown doe eyes levelled and came to rest on Jack's face. They met his eyes for a fraction of a second. Then his gaze fell and stayed on his hands, which were clamped together tightly in his lap. His voice was quiet, too quiet. "I needed… I needed to tell you what happened." He cleared his throat, nervously. "I have to explain. I'm so sorry Jack. I couldn't go back. I couldn't cross my timeline and I was dying—"

Jack blinked rapidly, pursed his lips. He held up a hand to stop the rambling. "Doc. Doctor. Stop. Wait. Slow down." He leaned forward, rested his hand on top of the Doctor's, gently. "What are you talking about?"

"Satellite-5…" The Doctor whispered the words and Jack jerked. The Doctor closed his eyes, ashamed and fearful of Jack's anger. He waited for the shouting, the anger, the demands… something. But they never came. For the time being, Jack had mastered his emotions. He was still focussed on screening himself from me and it made it easier to keep himself in check.

"What happened?" Jack managed to ask.

The Doctor took a deep breath and steeled himself. "The last time you saw me, I made a promise. I said I'd stop by the next time I was in town. I decided to pop over while Rose visits with her mum and Mickey." At the mention of Rose's name, Jack's eyes lit up. I must be a petty, jealous man because I had a number of rather nasty thoughts about Rose in those few minutes. The green-eyed monster sat on my shoulder and taunted me. I must also be quite transparent because Jack turned and looked at me. He smiled, reached for my hand instead of the Doctor's. I felt like a cad. "The last few days have been… horrible." He ran a hand through his already wild hair. Then he said something I thought I'd never hear. "I've figured out what happened to you." The Doctor looked sick with remorse.

I hadn't been expecting this. This was new, as far as I knew. Something had happened to change the timeline. The Doctor had come to see Jack way ahead of schedule. And he'd come with answers. "Have you got anything stronger?" I asked, knowing Jack's likely reaction to the Doctor's story.

_**Continued in… 25 – Making Lemonade**_


	34. C25 Making Lemonade

**_25 – Making Lemonade_**

**W/C**: 2549  
><strong>Warningsspoilers/content**: PG13, angst and profanity, reference to DW1.13-The Parting of the Ways  
><strong>Summary<strong>: The Doctor makes a house call and Jack gets some answers.  
><strong>Characters<strong>: Ianto, immortal-Jack, 10th Doctor  
><strong>Ianto's New Timeline<strong>: Boxing Day, December 26, 2005 continued

* * *

><p>BOXING DAY, 2005<p>

"**I KNEW THE MOMENT THE DALEKS REACHED YOU.** I heard you tell them to open fire. I heard you scream at the top of your lungs. And one by one, they were picked off, exterminated. All those brave, trusting souls, they died for me. They always die for _the Doctor." _He spat out his name, his tone dripping with scorn and self-loathing. "Because they believe in me!" He paused. Took a breath. "I was struggling to fix that blasted thing. But then I heard Linda scream. They found her too." He bit his lip. "She should have been safe." His voice broke and quavered. "I told her she'd be safe, Jack." The Doctor wrapped his long fingers around his head and shuddered. "I promised."

"I know Doc." Jack nodded and sighed, remembering. I gripped his hand more tightly.

"I was almost there. Almost there Jack! And then… and then… by then you sounded desperate. You screamed and you begged me to fix that stupid thing. You told me you were the last man standing. Oh, Rassilon. Jack, I am sooo sorry. I couldn't fix it in time." For the Doctor, it had been a matter of hours. His memories were fresh, vivid. For Jack, so much more time had passed. Unfortunately, time had not diminished his memories. They were painful, had haunted him for hundreds of years. Then the Doctor blurted, "She looked into the TARDIS." The non sequitur threw us both for a loop.

"Who did?" Jack was struggling to follow the Doctor's train of thought. He was struggling with his emotions. He kept getting sucked into his own, painful memories.

The Doctor met his gaze. "Rose." He said quietly.

"Why'd she do that?" In shock, Jack's question ended in a shriek.

"You know, I sent her away." The Doctor explained. He looked to Jack for reassurance. Jack nodded. He'd been so happy at the time. Proud of the Doctor for taking care of her, for sending her to safety.

"I remember." Jack assured him.

"And then you told me I had seconds left. They were chasing you down the corridors."

"I remember Doc. I ran out of ammo. I was cornered. The last thing I heard was 'Exterminate'."

"Even to the last," he looked at me and smiled. "He was full of cheek." He turned to Jack and finished. "I heard you die." He sniffled. "I'm so sorry, Jack. So sorry." The Doctor covered his face. "You… sacrificed everything Jack. You gave me the seconds I needed to finish the repairs." He was shaking. "But then I was surrounded. They were everywhere." He sought my eyes, then Jack's. "I had them. I could've used it. But then I'd kill every living thing in this solar system. And I just couldn't do it. I was a coward. Sometimes, I think I love the Earth too much."

"Oh, Doctor." I sighed and I felt such sympathy for him.

"Then I just gave up Jack." He sounded hollow and his eyes were dull. "I gave myself up. I was ready to die. I couldn't bear it another second."

"No," gasped Jack.

He nodded. "But then I heard her, the TARDIS. I heard her materialize." He took a deep breath and then launched into his story. "And then Rose opened the door and she was emanating this brilliant light. It was terrifying. So bright, absolutely blinding. She looked into the Time Vortex." He gasped. He paused and we saw a shudder pass through him. "The TARDIS went into Rose. She said she was the BAD WOLF. She was so powerful Jack. She deflected an energy beam with her hand." The Doctor sounded incredulous. "She created herself. She left clues through time and space. She scattered the words BAD WOLF everywhere. We thought they were following us but we were following them." He pulled at his hair. He looked crazed now, like someone coming unhinged. "Don't you see, Jack." He pleaded. "She led us to that exact point so she could do what she was meant to do. She did it for ME!" His hands thrashed through the air, conducting his frantic rant. The Doctor was clearly agitated and his words tumbled out with barely a breath between them. "She told me. She wanted me safe, _her_ Doctor. She just wanted to protect me from the Daleks." His voice was so quiet now. He sounded so ashamed. "She scattered their atoms with her mind."

"Whose?" Jack shrugged. He was stunned. He hadn't expected this. He could barely keep up with the Doctor's frenetic train of thought.

"All of them." He waved a hand through the air, game show style. "The Daleks. With a wave of her hand she scattered their atoms."

"Holy shit." I blurted.

He nodded. "She said she'd finally ended the Time War. Then I tried Jack. I tried to stop her before she did anything else but she refused to give up the power. Rose, she said she needed to do good. She needed to bring life after all that death, I suppose. I didn't know what she meant at the time." He pleaded.

"What did you do? How did you save her?" Jack needed to know what happened. He still couldn't believe what he was hearing.

"I… I took it back." The Doctor said uneasily.

"How?" Jack asked tentatively, afraid of the answer.

"With a kiss." He said softly, reverently.

Jack smiled, wistfully thinking of that kiss. Then after a moment he asked, "but how can you hold that much power?"

"I can't." He spoke, just above a whisper. "I sent it back to the TARDIS. But she was unconscious and all I could think was… _get Rose to safety_. I'm sorry Jack. I should've guessed she was talking specifically about you. I didn't know until a second before we dematerialized. I saw it on the monitor. One life sign. And I panicked. I'm so ashamed. I'm so ashamed Jack. I left you there, all alone."

Jack waited a beat and then he asked the question he'd been desperately seeking the answer to for too many years to count. "Why didn't you come back? That's all I want to know. Did I do something wrong?" There was fear in his eyes and his voice was bleak.

"No! No, no, no, no. Jack you didn't do anything. I couldn't." He shook his head. He'd been so worried that Jack would be angry. But he was hurt, so very hurt. And _that_ was much worse. "I… I regenerated almost immediately. I had to get to the Vortex." The Doctor leapt to his feet and he paced across the small space with jerky steps.

Jack blinked. I thought maybe I saw a glimmer at the corner of his eye. "Oh, Doc. I had no idea. So… you died right after you left the station?" He never imagined this.

"Yep." He dragged a hand through his unruly hair and gave it a vicious tug.

"Damn."

"Yes."

"How long ago for you?" Jack asked after a moment's thought.

"A matter of hours – maybe a day… day and a half. I lost track. I was out for a bit. Not long though."

"I can't believe it. It's been… so long. Hundreds of years for me." Jack shook his head. Disbelief battled with overwhelming sadness.

"Oh Jack. I'm so sorry. I see why you were so angry the last time we saw each other."

"Ya, well… if it hadn't been for Ianto… we wouldn't have seen each other at all."

"No. Probably not." Then he turned to me and said in a stern voice, "I looked into that. You've been a naughty boy, Mr. Jones." He gave me a pointed look that promised a lot of ear-dragging in my near future.

I had no reply so I clamped my lips together and my whole body tensed in apprehension. Then I watched as the Doctor looked at Jack, remorse and something else in his eyes. Jack caught both our looks and frowned. "Take it easy there Doctor. He's done nothing but help. He's been careful. He hasn't told me much of anything. He just warns me sometimes. He's very careful."

The Doctor gave Jack a good hard look. Then he nodded slightly and shrugged. "If you say so, Jack." He patted him on the back and smiled. "But I just need to chat with Ianto in private for a mo. Would you mind?"

"Of course not. I'll be in the console room." He smiled, patted me on the shoulder and closed the door behind him.

As Jack left the room the Doctor looked at me and shrugged. He shrugged a lot, this new Doctor. "So Ianto, how have things been? Have any more incidents like that co-worker—I mean ex-co-worker you were telling me about?"

I looked at my knees, thought about my answer then looked carefully into those deep all-seeing eyes. I wondered for the hundredth time what kind of man could change his eyes. I was more than a little frightened of the Time Lord in that moment. He was so powerful—almost all-powerful. He'd defeated the leader of the Sycorax in hand-to-hand combat with a bloody big sword. He wasn't even a big man. He was a bit on the skinny side to tell the truth. And he had crazy hair to boot. The Time Lord frowned and ran his fighting hand through his wayward hair, which frightened the shit right out of me. My eyes grew wide with concern. _He's read my mind_, I realized. My heart began pounding at an uneven rhythm; the tune was aptly named 'run, run away'. My hands wrapped around the edge of the chair. I swallowed loudly and finally organized my thoughts. _I'm being rude_, I thought. _I'm taking so long… he's bound to be angry with me._ "I… I've used my knowledge a few… few times." I swallowed. "Sir."

.

His face softened and he leaned forward slightly. "Now, now, no need to be afraid. I won't hurt you. You're not in any danger. Just relax. It's only me." He tried to assure me with kind words and a smile.

.

I swallowed again. I needed some water. My mouth felt like a desert or at the very least a very LARGE sand-box. He chuckled and reached for the bottle of water sitting on the table. "That's quite the ability you've got there. It's actually one of the things I wanted to talk to you about."

.

I frowned, my head jerked back and I ventured on. "Wh… what do you mean?"

.

"Your telepathy. You can really send. I can hear you loud and clear." He chuckled again. "A sand-box. That's really funny," he assured me. "Can Jack hear you?" he asked. His face had changed. It was serious again but his eyes still glittered.

"Er. I don't think so. Emotions, ya. But… not thoughts. I don't think. If he can, he's not letting on." I shrugged. "I just figured it out yesterday. I'm not very good. I thought my head was going to explode with all the input." I needed to change the subject. My mouth obliged and spouted a string of gibberish. "We watched you. On the ship. We saw the fight. Your hand… Is it okay? Does it hurt?"

"No. It's fine. Just like new." He wiggled his fighting hand in the air, made a fist, then spread his fingers wide.

"That's… that's pretty amazing. Hellova party trick." I continued with the gibberish.

He winked and took a deep sip of tea. "You'll need some help. Some training. Telepathy—even empathy—can be quite painful if you don't know how to control it. Has Jack offered to help?"

I nodded emphatically. "Yes, today we're going to work on building a mental barrier."

He smiled. "Good. Good. Well, that's sorted. If you need any help just call me. I'll help if I can."

"Thank you." I considered, decided now would be a good time to clear the air. "Doctor, I hope you know we had nothing to do with the destruction of the Sycorax ship." I knew Jack wanted him to know.

His eyes slid shut. "I know. I know. But thank you for saying so." I smiled and nodded. "I was so angry. It was so unnecessary." He set his teacup on the table rather forcefully. "Let's go find Jack. If we leave him alone too long he's bound to get into some kind of trouble. He'll probably start rewiring something."

"You're not wrong. He has a very short attention span."

"You noticed that, did you?"

I nodded. "Oh, yes."

He made a funny, nervous kind of noise. "How... ahem… are things between you two? Have there been any unforeseen consequences of your early meeting?"

My face twitched. "Well. Not much. Let's see. I never went to London. I got a job with Torchwood Three much sooner. I've started a relationship with Jack much, much sooner. Other than that, I don't think so."

In response, the Doctor shook his head and slapped his forehead lightly with his open palm. "Nooo. Hardly a thing then." _Sarcastic. Check._

We walked into the console room and found Jack crouched under the central tower. He was inspecting the wiring or something. He saw us and asked, "What's going on with the TARDIS? She sounds a bit strange to me. She okay?"

"Ya. She's still a bit unsteady. You know, after the Bad Wolf thing. It must have taken a lot out of her."

"Do you think she had anything to do with it? Or was it all Rose?"

"Oh, I'm certain she had something to do with it. Rose wouldn't have been able to do it on her own. She didn't know how to open the heart. She had to have help."

"You think the TARDIS helped Rose do that?" I asked, shocked.

"Oh, ya. She has her own plans. She's really quite stubborn sometimes. Won't listen to me. Sends me where ever she wants me to go."

"Bossy." I suggested.

He nodded. "Bossy, indeed," he agreed.

"Would you like to come down, see the hub?" Jack offered. Hopeful.

"No. Thank you. No. I need to pick up Rose." He didn't do that. Well, he never used to. Dinner at Rose's was an exception. That's what he told himself.

Jack nodded. "Sure." Disappointed. "Another time."

"Definitely," the Doctor confirmed with a tight smile.

"Jack, take care of him. He needs some help. He needs to learn how to protect himself. And he'll need help with both."

Jack canted his head and frowned a little. He wondered, _both? _"I know. Don't worry. I'll take care of him. He stepped closer and wrapped his arm around me, possessively."

"And you." The Doctor pointed at my chest. "You be careful. For goodness sake. Be careful."

"I will." I assured him. Then distracted, I said, "See you soon."

"Really?" Jack pulled back, held me at arm's length.

I flinched. I nodded.

"Oh, that's not good." Jack hissed. Hugged me tighter.

The Doctor raised an eyebrow majestically. Understanding dawned. He stuck his fingers in his ears and started making noises to block out my words.

I smiled. I thought, _ah, to be 900 years old_. He must regress back to childhood every so often.

I detached myself from Jack's embrace and I hugged the Doctor warmly. I whispered in his ear, "Thank you. For coming. It means so much. You have no idea. Thank you." He patted my back. "Oh, and Doctor? Take care of Rose."

He replied quickly. "I'll do my best." He stared at me intently and frowned. Mentally, he chanted, _I'm a Time Lord. Time is not the boss of me. I'm a Time Lord_… Aloud, he said, "We'll talk later."

Jack hugged him too.

The Doctor walked us out, put an arm on both of us. "Remember, you two. Make the most of every day."

"We will." We told him as we stepped out into the real world. We turned and waved again.

The Doctor stood in the doorway; he stroked the frame. Then he called out, "The world is your oyster—so make lemonade!" He grinned and slammed the little blue door shut. Moments later, the TARDIS disappeared.

_**Continued in… 26 – That Kind of Secret**_


	35. C26 That Kind of Secret

**_26 – That Kind of Secret_**

**W/C**: 2860  
><strong>Warningsspoilers/content**: PG13, profanity and sap, quick references to TW2.7-Reset and TW2.13-Exit Wounds  
><strong>Summary<strong>: Tosh and Owen confront Ianto about keeping secrets.  
><strong>Characters<strong>: Ianto, immortal-Jack, Tosh and Owen  
><strong>Ianto's New Timeline<strong>: December 27, 2005**  
><strong>

* * *

><p>DECEMBER 27, 2005<p>

**OWEN STOMPED TOWARDS ME.** He stopped abruptly when he reached the front of my desk. "What's up with Jack?" he demanded crossly. He stood there, scowling, clutching his folder in one hand. The other was hanging at his side; his fist clenched tightly. He was unshaven, crumpled and scruffy looking. Christmas day, had taken its toll. Belatedly, I realized he was waiting for me to answer. Imagine my surprise, it wasn't a rhetorical question.

Mere moments ago, with his head buried in a file, Owen had passed by my desk on his way up to Jack's office. I saw him trot up the stairs, head still down, mind on his paperwork. I saw him open the door, slip in, close the door. Then I went back to my report. I got a chance to type about twenty words before he came back out, obviously dissatisfied. He scowled like a champion, our Owen. It wasn't hard to tell when he was annoyed.

Jack sat at his desk, unable to get any work done. It wasn't because of a crisis. It wasn't even a matter of boredom. His mind was unwinding, rolling his thoughts around, testing them out, trying to get used to them. Eventually, he'd wind everything back up and put it back where it belonged. But not just yet.

Every single thing had changed. A month ago, I told him the Doctor would come – _in a few years_. It had given him hope. He'd felt at peace. He'd been… content. Content to wait a few more years for answers. I had warned him, he remembered, I might be wrong. Things change. They always change. Sometimes just the act of looking at something changes it. Sometimes just thinking about looking at something changes it. Our will is a powerful and entirely immeasurable thing. Our will made manifest is magnificent. It could be mistaken for a miracle. It could _be_ a miracle.

His mind wasn't playing along. Not like it usually did. Normally, he could swing with the punches like a pro. He'd done it for years. But this time, his mind was rebelling. The Doctor had come and he'd come with answers. He had begged for forgiveness. He had explained and he had confided a terrible secret. It was Rose. It was all because of her. She'd killed the Daleks; she'd ended the Time War once and for all. She'd saved the Doctor—she'd saved every living soul in the Solar System and she'd made him immortal. And she didn't even remember doing it. He could never tell her, he wouldn't. If she knew, she'd never forgive herself for turning him into this freak of nature. She'd brought him back to life with the power of the Time Vortex coursing through her veins. But she'd done it too well. Now, he could never die. And the Doctor had died because of it. He'd died, given his life to save her. And she'd never know.

Jack sat, for hours, in silence. I let him. I watched and I waited but I let him alone while he worked through the ultimate truth he'd been seeking for hundreds of years. Tosh and Owen, having gone through a trauma themselves so recently however, were out of patience, unaware of our recent visitor and therefore less inclined to wait. Owen, like the rest of us, had heaps of paperwork to complete as a result of our _Annual Alien Christmas Invasion_. He needed Jack's signature so he could submit it and get it out of his life. So when he went to Jack, asked him to review and sign his report, he'd been shocked by Jack's blank, distant stare. He hadn't heard a word. So, Owen repeated himself and waited. Jack took the report, signed the bottom and handed it back to him without blinking. Owen backed out of the office, mumbled his thanks, and walked straight towards me.

Tosh was still working through her report and it was going rather slowly. She couldn't seem to operate at normal speed. Her body was exhausted, rung out, but she couldn't sit still long enough to recuperate. She was pacey, achy and downright twitchy at times. She'd noticed his deep, somber state right away. She was hyper-aware of her coworkers today. She'd seen Owen's ascent and then his silent retreat. She'd seen the concern on Owen's face too. She slid her chair closer to mine and added her voice to the mix. "He hasn't come out all day, Ianto. What's happened? Is something wrong?" She fired off a few questions and I could tell it was only the beginning. Her agitation provided an excellent fuel source for directed concern and care.

I looked up at his office, just a flight of stairs away. His door was still closed. I looked to Owen and Tosh. "We had a visitor yesterday," I confided. I saw concern on their faces. "He got some bad news. I think he just needs some time to deal with it. He'll be okay." I tried to reassure. It didn't help. Tosh frowned and looked less than convinced.

"What kind of visitor?" Owen asked, his voice even and measured.

I hesitated. Did Jack want me to tell them? I didn't know. "An old friend. Someone from his past."

"Oh, I see," said Tosh. She didn't but it was enough for now. Owen continued to frown but let it go. Tosh nodded, turned and then promptly brought up the CCTV footage from Boxing Day and started scanning for clues. She let it run in a tiny screen in the corner of her desktop. She resumed the slow and arduous typing of her report and watched the CCTV replay out of the corner of her eye.

I stood up, made some fresh coffee and went up to Jack's office. I knocked and cracked the door. "Jack? Can I come in?"

"Yes. Yes, come in," he said absentmindedly. He waved me in. He had no idea we were so worried.

"Jack, Tosh and Owen are getting concerned. You haven't left your office all day. You've barely spoken. And you look troubled. They don't understand. I told them you had some bad news and just needed some time to think. I hope that's okay."

He nodded. "Ya, that's fine. Thank you." His smile was an after-thought.

"Anything I can do?" I asked hopefully.

He shook his head. "No. I'm fine. Just thinking. I'm trying to wrap my head around this." He steepled his fingers in front of his chin. He faced me squarely, considered. "I have a question," he began. "A month ago, you told me you thought he'd be here in a couple of years." _Great minds_, I thought. "But he showed up. That was unexpected wasn't it?"

I nodded. "Yes, totally."

"Something's changed."

I nodded. "Definitely." I agreed. I'd been thinking along the same lines and it was troubling. But this was bound to happen sooner or later. If you change something, it causes ripples. I knew our first meeting would have repercussions, I just didn't know what they would be. The 'right kind of Doctor' had come looking for him and he'd come much earlier than expected.

"You warned me this might happen. I just didn't believe it at the time." He stopped. "I never thought… not in a million years… it was Rose."

"I hope she's all right? Do you think she's been injured by this?"

"No, he would've said. He was the one who died." He spoke quietly. "Well, him and me," he added after a moment's pause.

"It must have been hard. Going over those memories."

"It was a very long time ago." He sighed. "It was so long ago and I remember it like it was yesterday."

"For him, it was. I can't believe it just happened for him. That's so fucked up." I was getting a timey-wimey headache again.

"All this time, I thought maybe I did something wrong." The pain on his face tore at his features. "I thought I'd failed him. Then I just hated him for leaving me behind. It turns out he came straight here, to Earth, to this time even."

"And saved us all, again." I added wistfully.

"Yep. Again." He agreed, quietly.

I saw the tension in his face. I thought I might try to help. That's what I do. "What are you gonna do?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well. I get that you're processing. It's a lot to take in. But it seems like you're trying to come to a decision of some kind."

"How come you're so clever?" He smiled and leaned back in his chair. "You know me well. Better than anyone ever has."

His words triggered a spark of warmth; it spread and heated my chest and swam in my belly. Pleasure. "Thank you, Jack. That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me." I smiled broadly. I felt my eyes getting a little misty. I'm a sappy sap that oozes sap.

He smiled. He thought a moment longer. "You may be right, Ianto. I'm just not sure what it is yet."

I nodded. "Well, if you need to bounce anything around, I'm here." I stood up and sent him one last smile before I left him alone with his thoughts.

_TW Ianto's Journal TW Ianto's Journal TW _

_December 27, 2005_

I haven't written in… forever. What a hellish week. It's got to get better. I've got this pounding in my brain pan that just won't quit. It's much better than it was. But it's still there. It makes it so hard to think. I can only sleep if Jack's next to me. I hate sleeping alone. My place is like a tomb without him. I hate his damn bed. Shopping to do asap.

I had a moment this morning in his office. I almost lost my composure. He said the nicest thing. I've never felt so _pleased_. He's never said anything so… thoughtful… so romantic to me before. I thought my heart would leap out of my throat. I'm such a sap. I can't help it. I'm utterly lost. I'm so utterly his. And I'm so scared. I know we have hell to come. So many bad things to come. Must keep a positive mental attitude. That's what they say.

It's so quiet here. They've gone for lunch. I've gone off by myself. I've found my favourite spot. This is where I sat the first time I stalked the Doctor. I love this seat. Makes me feel in control. Makes me remember that I have a plan. And the plan is working. I just need to keep on top of things. And hopefully not go mad in the meantime. I really need someone to talk to . I wish I could. Sometimes I feel so utterly alone. I wish I could tell him. He'd understand. He's the only one who could.

**TO DO:** shopping at Ikea—beds. Bring Jack home tonight.

_TW Ianto's Journal TW Ianto's Journal TW _

**OWEN AND TOSH WERE HUDDLED BEHIND HER DESK.** She pointed to the screen and Owen squinted and then scowled. They exchanged a few words and then I felt their eyes track my movements across the floor in unison. Tosh looked at Owen and she quirked an eyebrow. _Sexy_, I thought. I saw the subtle nod. I wasn't surprised when they cornered me near the scanner. Nice teamwork.

"We saw it." Tosh declared, in hushed tones. "We know who your visitor was." She crossed her arms and jutted out a hip. Owen stood slightly behind the other hip as backup.

"Yes?" I said noncommittally. I was still working out what to tell them.

"Yes, Ianto." She said a little more forcefully. I'd pissed her off. "And we want to know what the hell is going on!" She hissed. "Whenever he shows up there's always trouble! So spill!"

I handed her a coffee. She took it. But she huffed in annoyance. She'd cursed her dependence on my coffee, time and time again. Today was one of those days. "Thank you." She mustered politely, as always. "But I still want to know what's going on." I smiled.

"Owen? Would you like a cup?" I asked sweetly. Damn, I'm good.

He tried to hold out. You know, the principle of the thing. His inner strength crumbled within seconds. "Ya, thanks." He chanced a sly look at Tosh, apology in his eye. But what could she say?

"Alright." I said quietly. "Come with me." I led them to the boardroom. We sat around the end of the table and they proceeded to drill me for answers.

"Why was the Doctor here?" Tosh asked again.

"To see Jack and me." I told her simply. I had every intention of sticking to the bare facts. She frowned and made a 'go on' gesture. "It's private. Doesn't have anything to do with a case. It won't impact you two at all. There is no catastrophe to deal with either. Just a personal visit. I swear it." I took a sip of coffee. Tried to look relaxed.

Owen cleared his throat. His turn, apparently. "How come you know so much?" He leaned forward. "And don't go giving us some cock and bull story about 'need to know'. We _deserve_ to know Ianto. It affects us directly." He made a good argument. But he had to accept my position, one way or another.

I let out a long breath. "Okay. I see your point. Both of you. You're right. You do deserve to know the whole truth. It does affect you. It would make things so much simpler." I wanted them to know I saw their side of the argument. "But let me ask you this. Do you know when Jack's from? Either of you."

They looked at each other and shrugged. "No." Tosh admitted reluctantly. "But what's that got to do with this?" she demanded. She was determined not to get side-tracked.

I made a 'humour me' gesture and went on. "Do you know where he was born?" Two more shakes. "Do you think he keeps things from you?" I continued.

"Of course he does." Owen answered quickly. Bitter.

"Why?" I asked simply.

"Well, I guess he's private." Tosh suggested.

My turn to shrug. "Well, yes. He is private. But what I mean is he has a lot of knowledge about technology—alien tech—other races–that he couldn't possibly have learned on Earth. Wouldn't you agree?"

**JACK FROWNED AND LEANED CLOSER** to the screen. He turned the volume up. With elbows on his desk and fists clenched in front of his mouth, he sat watching our conversation unfold, hoping I wouldn't betray his confidence.

"Yes. Absolutely." Tosh knew where I was going. She didn't like it one bit.

"So why doesn't he just tell us how to develop all this alien tech so we can speed up the Earth's technological advancements?" I furthered my argument.

Tosh was irritated. "There's no need to be condescending! I'm perfectly aware that he has to keep certain information secret—from everybody—_Universe imploding_ and all that." She waved her hand through the air. Damn you Universe.

"So if you can accept that—and in my opinion _that's huge_—then why can't you accept that I have knowledge that I can't share with anybody either?" I begged. I just wanted them to understand. If they couldn't understand then at least I wished they would trust me.

"You told Jack!" Owen accused. He set his cup down abruptly, coffee sloshed over the rim.

"No, I didn't!" I retorted, angry and more than a little fed up.

Silence. "Really?" Tosh couldn't believe it. Owen was uneasy.

"Really." I assured them. There was a finality in my tone. I'm sure they heard it. "No one. Not even Jack." I sighed. "I wish I could." My eyes pleaded for understanding. "There are things…" I looked down into my cup. I thought of Tosh, bleeding on the floor. I thought of Owen, a hole through his heart. I gulped.

**IN HIS OFFICE, JACK SHIFTED FORWARD**. Concern and fear pinched his heart. He could see my face. He knew that look. Unfortunately, so too did Tosh and Owen. I just didn't know it yet.

I steadied myself and continued. "There are things and events I wish I could share with you." I looked them each in the eye. My eyes rested on Tosh. "I really do, Tosh." I looked down again. My words came out in a whisper. "These secrets are heavy. They're a burden. It's exhausting." Owen nodded. He could just imagine the horrors I'd been alluded to. Tosh felt remorse at her harsh words and for her lack of trust.

"I'm sorry Ianto." She began reluctantly. "I should've been more trusting—more understanding of your situation. I didn't think of it like that." Owen murmured his agreement. She got up and walked around the table, bent down in front of me and placed a hand over mine. "I was just worried that you were keeping secrets. I mean, you're human. And you're not like Jack." I flinched slightly. She frowned. "You know what I mean, Ianto." She paused, huffed out a breath. "I didn't realize it was '_that'_ kind of secret." She rolled her eyes. _Bloody Torchwood_. "I'm sorry." She whispered.

**JACK LEANED BACK IN HIS WOBBLY CHAIR.** He propped his feet up on the edge of his messy desk and crossed his legs at the ankle. The CCTV feed was still playing and he watched as Tosh and Owen gathered up their cups and quietly slunk out of the room. He ran his finger tip over his bottom lip as he often did when deep in thought.

For some reason, as I was tidying up, my eyes were drawn to the camera mounted high in the corner. I snorted and smirked. The red light was blinking. _Of course,_ I thought. He'd be watching. I rose an eyebrow eloquently and smiled at the camera. I heard Jack's full-bellied laugh as it danced through the hub. _Busted._

Continued in… _27 – The Dating Mentor_


	36. C27 The Dating Mentor

_**27 – The Dating Mento**r_

**W/C**: 2163  
><strong>Warningsspoilers/content**: PG13, gentle smut and profanity  
><strong>Summary<strong>: Jack finds a dating mentor.  
><strong>Characters<strong>: Ianto, immortal-Jack, Tosh  
><strong>Ianto's New Timeline<strong>: December 28-29, 2005**  
><strong>

* * *

><p>DECEMBER 28, 2005 - PM<p>

**JACK CAME HUFFING AROUND THE CORNER**, went straight to Tosh's desk. He needed help. "I think he's mad." He was so out of breath that he barely managed to gasp out the words. What he needed was a translator. A 21st Century translator.

"How can you tell?" She mumbled. She didn't even look up. She was always so wrapped up in her latest project. _Help me Tosh!_ He wanted to scream and shake his fists in the air.

"Well, he left," he began. She looked at him closely. He was sweating. His face was flushed. He looked out of breath. "Said I was presumptuous. Said he'd already made plans. Said I'd better look into that concept. Maybe find a tutor." He looked at her, pleadingly. "Tosh, help me. Why is he mad?" Weariness was settling in. He'd always found this kind of shit exhausting. That's why he didn't usually even bother. For Jack, 'relationship' had become a dirty word.

She took pity on him. Partly because she felt for me and partly because he was a challenge, perhaps even a diversionary project. She looked him up and down. "Did you have a fight?" she asked, finally. He nodded, ran a hand through his dampened hair. She made a _tisking_ sound with her tongue. "You two kind of rushed into things, Jack. You need to do it right." She resumed typing and scanning but only for a minute. Then she prepared to give him her full attention.

"Do what right?" His voice rose an octave. Eyes wide and wild.

Orbital roll. "Dating, Jack. Just because you're shagging doesn't mean you don't need to woo."

"I need to woo?" Up another octave.

"Hell, ya." She sighed. This was going to take some work. "He's a 21st Century boy. You need to learn our ways if you want to keep him happy." Amusement was clearly seeping through, her words were dripping with it. "Well, keep him period I'd say." She knew Jack was from another time, she just didn't know which one. There was one thing she was certain of though, and that was the fact that Jack absolutely sucked at interpersonal relationships. In _**any**_ time period.

Jack blanched at her last comment. He hadn't wanted to keep anyone around, not for a very long time. But he'd begun to feel differently about me over the last few weeks. He'd had a crisis while I'd been away. He knew he had to make a choice. He could've followed normal procedure—had casual shags when and wherever he wanted—kept his heart closed. Safe. Simple. But ever since I'd come into his life—for the second time—he'd felt an unfamiliar spark. The rules had changed. He wasn't waiting for the Doctor anymore. He wasn't sure what he was doing anymore. The rules had changed. And it was all because of me. "All right." He made a decision. "So I've gotta woo. I can do that. What about tonight? What's that all about?" He was genuinely lost. He didn't even have a starting place as a point of reference.

She shrugged, considered the facts. "He's mad because you took his presence for granted." It was clear as day—hard to believe he couldn't see it. She may suck at actual human interaction but she was a master of observation. Plus, she felt like she was getting close to me. She had a good idea what my little rant was all about.

"How did I do that?" He protested, lamely.

"Did you make plans?" She asked quickly, like a Drill Sergeant.

"No." He admitted, reluctantly.

"Did he tell you he wanted to go out tonight?" Drill Sergeant Tosh threw another question at Private Jack.

"_Er_. Yes." He admitted, now embarrassed for not having paid attention.

"Did you, _somehow_, convey the fact that you expected him to do something with you tonight even though you didn't make any plans with him?" She morphed into Lawyer Tosh.

"Yes." He gulped. It had crossed his mind once or twice, that he had no idea how to 'have a relationship'. And he knew that was exactly what I wanted and wouldn't settle for anything less.

"And that's why he's mad." She announced proudly. She thought for sure he'd get it. Her argument was logically sound. She'd laid it out in simple illustrative steps. A plus B plus C equals D. Clear.

"That's just…" He searched for the word.

"Completely understandable." She held up a hand when he began to sputter. "Remember, you're living _in this time_ and the rules of social interactions apply. I would be mad too. So would everyone I know," she added quickly before he could get a word out. When he didn't respond, she prodded. "Did he actually storm out?" He shook his head. "Did he shout or swear at you?" He shook his head again. She considered. "Sounds like he's sending you a warning shot." He frowned, confused. "It's not too serious." She held up a hand in warning. "But if you do it again, you'll be in deep shit, Jack."

He leaned down over her desk, resting most of his weight on the trembling structure. "I need some help, Tosh. I need you to write that manual for me."

_Damn him_, he was serious. She groaned. "How about we take it one subject at a time? As they arise?" She smiled hopefully.

He smiled and nodded in agreement. He told her he'd be eternally grateful, and that was saying something. Never underestimate an immortal IOU.

DECEMBER 29, 2005 - AM

**JACK STEADIED HIMSELF, PULLED HIS SHOULDERS BACK** and walked with confidence towards me. He smiled a tight painful smile, and in his most cheerful voice, he asked, "Did you have a nice evening?"

"Yes, it was great." I smiled graciously. "Thank you for asking." I'd worn my favorite suit today paired with a sexy new blood red silk shirt. No tie. A few buttons open. Let the punishment begin. I maintained the appropriate air of professionalism, as always but there was a distance between us and I'm sure Jack felt it.

Jack grimaced. This was some kind of code. Some kind of social dance. A trap even. He needed that manual dammit. He wanted to search out Tosh but he forced himself to remain steady.

He was making an effort so I gave him a break. "Oh, and the Inspector wants to meet you," I told him. "I thought maybe we could go out to dinner," I suggested after a beat. "Sometime soon?" I was hopeful.

Jack gulped. _Now, he wants me to meet his surrogate father. Shit!_ He was a fish out of water. And he was swimming up shit creek. "That sounds nice?" He ventured. His voice rose at the end. He looked so unsure. I couldn't contain the grin. It cracked the edge of my face. I squeezed my lips together to fight the smile bubbling there. I turned away and squeezed my eyes shut. When I opened them, I saw Tosh staring at me. She was pleading for mercy with her eyes. I turned around and smiled at Jack.

"Thank you, Jack." I stepped closer. I felt a little bad about ditching him the night before. A little. "I really appreciate it. He's been asking for a while now and I've been putting him off." I'd been holding off alright. I hadn't actually admitted to 'seeing' my boss to the Inspector until a few weeks ago. I hadn't told Rhi yet either. I guess I'd been waiting to see how things turned out.

Jack waffled. Took a chance. "Why's that?" Was it a dangerous question? He didn't know. _Manual. Manual. Manual_. He chanted. The word echoed inside his brain.

Careful now. "I figured you needed some time." Not too much honestly. He'll freak. His eyes scrunched together. I took a chance and told him the truth. "I didn't want you to feel pressured to meet my family." I blurted. He relaxed—saw I was struggling too. He thanked the Goddess of Mercy for not being the only one bumbling around in the forest. I started to second-guess myself, him, us. Maybe it was too soon. "Listen, if you really don't want to meet him I'll—"

"No. No, it's fine." He stepped closer, his hand grazed mine. "Really," he said, looking deep into my eyes. His hand slid up my arm. "I'd like to meet him." It stopped on my shoulder, where he squeezed gently. He looked into my eyes searchingly. "He's important to you?" he asked. I nodded. "So, I'd like to meet him." He finished and I remembered to breath. I'd been holding my breath.

I sighed, relieved. "Thanks, Jack." I smiled, weakened. I leaned forward and kissed him lightly on the cheek. The one on his face.

I had a pile of reports to file so I told him I'd talk to him later and headed for the archives. Jack immediately sought out Tosh, desperate for that manual. When their eyes met, she smiled and held two thumbs up. He shook his head and squinted—couldn't believe he got through that. "Seriously? That was good?" She nodded, emphatically. "That felt horrible," he groaned. He ran a hand through his hair. "I need that damn manual Tosh. _Seriously_." He gave her a look that said he meant business.

DECEMBER 29, 2005 - EVENING

**LAUNDRY NIGHT.** I kind of love it. A fact that I'm rather embarrassed about. It's one of the best ways to sooth my hectic thoughts. It's the process—a ritual, if you will. Sort each item into the correct pile. Switch a few items around strategically when the greyish pile was too small to fill the washer. Socks and underwear always go first. I'm out. Wearing nothing but my oldest t-shirt and a pair of threadbare pyjama bottoms. _Fire trucks_. The washer fills. The water splashes and gurgles. I toss in the soap and watch it suds. Then, in go my socks and underwear. Close the lid. Turn up the music. Dance around the kitchen while the kettle boils. The minute the washer finishes I run and pull out the soggy rags and transfer them to the dryer. Now, that's a sound. The heat and the tumble. Soothing. I could make a nest right beside it, on the floor. I could fall into oblivion so easily here. Next to the dryer. I threw in another load. Resumed my dancing around the kitchen. But my little ritual was interrupted abruptly when the doorbell rang. I muttered, turned down the music and went to see who it was.

It was Jack. Jack was at my door. Jack was holding a small bouquet of flowers. Jack was smiling sheepishly. If he got anymore sheepish, he'd sprout white curly fur. After a moment of utter shock and more than a little disbelief, I invited him in. Now it was my turn at sheepish. I looked down—barefoot, threadbare, scruffy, hooligan. "It's laundry night," I explained.

"What?" He checked me out. "You look great. _Relaxed_." He smiled. "It's nice." He wiggled the flowers in the air. He was obviously asking what he should do with them.

"Here. I'll put them in water." I took out a little vase. "Thank you, by the way. It's very thoughtful of you, Jack." I thought about the possible reasons for such a gesture. He'd never done it before. It put me on edge.

"I thought you deserved an apology. For the other night. I wanted to say sorry for taking you for granted." He'd practiced the words over and over again—in front of Tosh, in front of the mirror, in the car on the way over. They still sounded weird. Uncomfortable.

Never mind weird. Wow. I sputtered. "Th.. thank you Jack." Wow.

We sat at the kitchen table. I made us some coffee in my new press. His hand wiggled across the table, covering the distance between us. He caressed my hand. Ran a fingertip over the sensitive skin on the top of my hand. I totally lost it. I got up and pulled his chair out from under the table. He tried to get up but I pushed him back down into the chair. I leaned in, captured his lips. Devoured his mouth. Slid my tongue around his. Closer. I needed to be closer. I straddled him. It was the only way. I wrapped my limbs around him. I revelled in the moans he made. Then the buzzer went. I grinned. Stood up. Went to switch the loads. Jack was left, bereft. Shocked and confused. When I came back into the kitchen I didn't resume my straddle. I took his hand and led him to the bedroom.

Continued in… _28 – Safe Places_


	37. C28 Safe Places

**_28 - Safe Places_**

**W/C**: 1630  
><strong>Warningsspoilers/content**: PG-13 for sexual language and profanity.  
><strong>Summary<strong>: Jack guides Ianto through his psychic training and Tosh guides Jack through the forest.  
><strong>Characters<strong>: Ianto, immortal-Jack, Tosh  
><strong>Ianto's New Timeline<strong>: December 30, 2005  
><strong>AN:** A few chapter titles were changed at the last minute because I decided to reorganize a few sections. Sorry for the confusion. Also, I'd like to thank everyone who has left a wonderful comment, suggestion or encouragement. You've helped a lot. **  
><strong>

* * *

><p>DECEMBER 30, 2005 - 10 AM<p>

"**GRRR." I GROWLED.** I actually growled, in frustration.

Jack chuckled and kept chuckling even after I threw a killer look his way. "Try again," he said for the millionth time.

I frowned, narrowed my eyes and focussed, again. My eyes slid closed and I took a deep relaxing breath. I began by constructing my safe place. For me, it was a slow, tedious process. It seemed like it was taking longer than ever. Pain is an incredibly motivating factor. It doesn't improve precision or ability, mind. It just makes you more afraid to fuck up. Hence, the longer construction time. But he waited patiently, with a serene expression that did nothing to help my concentration. I kept imagining that expression on his face in other places, doing other things. I leaned against the wall, only a pillow between me and that cold, hard, rough surface. It was soothing, that wall. I smirked. I liked that wall. I'd developed a rather intimate relationship with that wall. Spent a lot of quality time being fucked up against it. My smirk grew—overtook my face—completely ruined my concentration. I started again.

I'd come to accept the fact that these thoughts had a home in my mind, a permanent one. They weren't going anywhere. I figured it would be better to accept them as a part of my being. So I let them float and wander. They had a home here, where we sat, as well. In the sex pit, under Jack's office. Ah… the sex pit.

I don't usually refer to it as the sex pit and I've certainly never said that aloud. And certainly not in Jack's presence. He doesn't need any more ammunition. It helped, being in the pit, leaning up against that wall, while I constructed my safe place in the bowels of my mind. Jack insists that it needs to be an immediate reaction. Think 'safe place' and I should immediately see my safe place, fully constructed. So I catalogued, created and organized the objects that belong in my safe place. He keeps asking me if I want to move somewhere more comfortable and I just smile. He doesn't realize. I don't think I'll tell him, just yet. He doesn't need any more ammunition.

I opened my eyes, felt completely calm. Nodded. His chin dipped subtly, acknowledging. Then, very slowly, I felt him slither in. First, there was an itch. Then, a tingling. It was the scrambling that was disconcerting. I retreated reflexively but I held down the fort. Kept my walls up. My safe place has a door, a very small door. The only way in. Jack was scrambling around the perimeter, feeling his way, searching for a weak spot.

He's quite good. I am not. Which never goes down well. I hate _sucking_. Just pisses me off. He's been able to find a crack every time. Even before he finds the door. Infuriating. But I was rocking it this time. Since I stopped trying to push the sexual thoughts away, gave them a home, my walls had bolstered. I felt him push. I tensed. This was usually the time I started screaming. The tension was all encompassing, all consuming. For the first time in over a week, I wasn't screaming at his first mental push. He keeps insisting that he's not pushing hard which makes me feel worse. Only because I know he's telling the truth. We don't talk during these sessions. That sends me screaming too. Obviously, in a real life situation, this won't be practical. He keeps telling me I'll improve. _Give it time. Try again_. That's his mantra this week. _Try again._

My body started shaking. I felt a trickle of sweat bead on my temple, on my spine. I kept my eyes closed, tight. His goal was to circle, inspect then find the door. This was the closest we'd ever come. I was burning calories like a stair-climber. My body was almost empty. I needed to refuel. In the last week, I'd eaten an inordinate amount of food. I was getting a better workout than I ever got exercising at that ridiculous sweat lodge they call a gym—sorry, Fitness Center. The itch was turning into a burning. The scrambling was getting a little too sharp. He was pushing again. Bastard. I wanted him to just find the damn door so I could take a break—and not end up screaming. I jerked. He found it. But the instant he tried to slip through everything changed. Something came crashing down and everything fell apart. And then came the screaming. I heard Tosh above in Jack's office, bending over the hole, checking in on me. I heard Jack, talking softly, soothing. Man, that really knacks. Once I was able to speak, I asked, "What happened?"

Something flickered in his eyes, just for a moment then it disappeared. "I think… you slammed your defenses down." He was bent in front of me, trying to get a good look at my eyes. My pupils were dilated, like black saucers. But not in a good way—no drugs, lust or sex—just pain. "I felt the wall. It was good." He smiled, reassuring. "It felt different, much stronger. When I found the door I tried to slip in but I got thrown out." I looked at him, the shock apparent on my face. "Really." He nodded and smiled. "I'm guessing you didn't do that on purpose. But that is exactly what you're supposed to do when someone tries to slip in."

"Is it always going to hurt like this?" The sex pit was spinning like a Ferris Wheel sans annoying music and scary clowns.

"No. It won't. It hurts because it's a new muscle. And you don't know how to use it. So you're over doing it. But you're getting better. It just takes time and practice." I'd heard most of this pep talk before. But I felt a lot better knowing I'd improved, even a little bit.

"I'm gasping. Need food and coffee." My throat was dry and raspy. "Right now. Not even sure I can make it up there." I told him. A little over dramatic but true none the less.

He smiled, leaned forward. His first kiss was firm and quick. Then he nipped hungrily at my bottom lip and his eyes told me he wanted more. "Stay right here. I'll get you food and I'll do my best with the coffee." I shook my head, begging and pleading with my eyes. "Or I could ask Tosh to make the coffee?"

I smiled. "Thank you," I whispered. If I weren't so damn tired, I'd have thrown him down and had my way with him. But all I could do was whisper.

DECEMBER 30, 2005 - PM

"**HE SAID I DIDN'T HAVE TO WOO HIM.** He was impressed with the flowers and the apology. Just like you said. He also said he wasn't a bird or a chick or something." He chuckled and shook his head slightly. He'd have to ask about the bird reference later. Jack steepled his hands under his chin and looked at her with something akin to admiration. He sat behind his desk looking at his dating mentor appraisingly for a moment before he continued. "You're good. How'd you know what he was gonna say and how he'd react?"

"It's a typical response. That's all." She smiled warmly at her pupil. His praise sent a wash of pleasure through her that all but radiated from her skin. She sat primly in the visitor's chair, her back straight, her ankles crossed demurely under her chair and a faint blush rose on her face and neck. She loved helping Jack. She felt useful, knowledgeable and masterful. She rarely felt like that around Jack. She knew her tech but that was about it. Usually, she had to run behind him just to catch up. But he'd come to her. Asked her—begged her—for help. It made her feel wonderful to be needed and appreciated.

She got to see a side of him she'd never seen before. He'd never allowed himself to be vulnerable in front of anyone—not once—not since she'd met him. He'd come to her for guidance and it felt like they were becoming friends.

"I think he really liked the flowers," he mused, thinking back to the night before. He'd been so nervous about making that stupid apology. He'd been shocked by my easy acceptance and by my subsequent reaction. If that's all it took well… he couldn't believe it took him this long to figure out the benefits of making an apology. I'd shagged him senseless. His skin was still humming in remembrance. He fancied he could still taste me on his lips. He could still feel my hot, slick skin sliding over his. He could still hear the naughty, dirty, filthy things dripping from my lips…

Tosh could see he was lost in his thoughts. His eyes were glazing over. They were obviously very good thoughts. But damn if it wasn't getting hot in here. She cleared her throat loudly, drawing him back to the present. He started but caught himself before he toppled his chair backwards. He planted his feet firmly on the ground and smirked at her. He clapped his hands and then rubbed them together briskly in anticipation. "So, what's next Tosh?" He beamed.

She smiled and then quirked a thin eyebrow, "Well, I've been giving that some thought, Jack." She leaned forward and told him of her plans.

Continued in… _29 – New Year's Crack_


	38. C29 New Year's Crack

**_29 –New Year's Crack_**

**W/C**: 2078  
><strong>Warningsspoilers/content**: PG-13 mild het & slash sexual content, profanity. You are duly warned: this is just silly.  
><strong>Summary<strong>: Team Torchwood hit the pub on New Year's Eve and Tosh gets out of hand.  
><strong>Characters<strong>: Ianto, immortal-Jack, Tosh, Owen  
><strong>Ianto's New Timeline<strong>: December 31, 2005

* * *

><p>DECEMBER 31, 2005, 10 PM<p>

**CONTRARY TO POPULAR BELIEF,** Jack is _not_ an all-powerful being. When Jack drinks too much, he gets drunk. That's a given for most of us. But not for our intrepid, mysterious leader. He has a reputation, you see. Captain Jack Harkness is an impenetrable, invulnerable superman. This is how they see him.

Tosh has known him the longest and she insists that she's never seen him drunk. Owen's not so sure. He does agree however that Jack never drinks in public. Ever.

I have a different take. That's to be expected. I am shagging him after all. I know he drinks. I've seen it first-hand. He tends to do that on his own. In public, he usually drinks water. "_Too many enemies,"_ he says, "_too many undercover agents out there waiting to take advantage_." It only had to happen once. After that, it was water and nothing else.

So, it was with great surprise and our collective unease that we were joined by Jack for our New Year's 'Eve piss up. The unease lasted only a short time, though. For Tosh, it was the prospect of him seeing her being unprofessional—_getting messy, _as she putsit. For Owen, it was the prospect of accidentally saying something rude (ruder than usual) or insulting (unforgivably insulting) after he drank too much. For me, it was the fact that I'd never seen him drink 'for fun' or 'to relax with friends'. It was usually 'the end of the world' or 'I just killed someone'. So, I watched warily, looking for any signs of impending doom but I was pleasantly surprised when he started laughing and telling jokes. The pub was small, homey and after a while we all felt at ease. The other patrons were all locals—faces we recognized. We knew the bartender was trustworthy because after the last time Owen had passed out under the table, Jack had had Tosh thoroughly check him out. It seemed that the Universe was conspiring _with us_ for a change and was manifesting an optimal convergence of elements which would allow us an evening of uneventful rest and relaxation.

**I WAS SURPRISED WHEN TOSH LOBBED THE FIRST MISSILE.** I guess I should have expected it. "I hate that face you get," she drawled. She wasn't quite slurring yet but she was well on her way to _Uninhibited Island_. I continued drinking, hoping her mind would wander. No such luck. She pointed, with her glass, sloshed some cider on the floor. "You know…" Her voice reached a screeching pitch. "Your "_the end is nigh"_ face." She made air quotes with one hand and snickered at her clever little title. "Isn't that great?" She turned to Jack, who was sitting still, watching, waiting. He tilted his head, the universal sign for 'What the hell are you on about?' "You _knowwww._" She started to explain. "Every single time we have…" She looked around, lowered her voice. Owen and Jack automatically moved into huddle position. I groaned. "An emergency." She made air quotes again, this time with both hands. "He gets this face." She pointed at Owen, prompted him for support. He nodded emphatically, bobbed his head and made a serious face. Unconvincing, I thought. "He knows. I can tell." She turned to me and glared. "_Heeee._" She pointed at me with her glass again, this time more dramatically. "_Alwayssss. Knowsssss_." Her words came out in a hiss and I knew she wouldn't be letting this one go. It made me wince. Jack pursed his lips, kind of nodded, noncommittally.

Owen grabbed a hold of Jack's arm and began where Tosh had left off. "She knows. We saw. Before." He giggled, bratty eight year old style. "When you two where…" He used his fingers to act out a puppet show for his audience. His two index fingers were smushed together. They wiggled and slid around each other madly. He made loud kissing noises as he concentrated on re-enacting our most recent attempt to have sex through our clothes in Jack's office. The one they walked in on. Fun. Jack laughed so loudly, they probably heard him over in the Millennium Center. Tosh was giggling and Owen was really getting into it with his finger sex. Now, he was chasing Tosh around the table with his fingers trying to get her to join in. Jack kept on laughing. It was a marvelous sound. Genuine. I was given a reprieve for a whole ten minutes while Tosh and Owen had a threesome with their index fingers in the air over our table. They were hysterical. I couldn't help myself. He'd really given his performance some thought. Tosh was glowing, red cheeked when they finished.

Jack continued to chuckle until his face hurt. He wrapped an arm around Tosh. "Was it good for you Tosh?" He whispered in her ear and sent shivers down her spine. "I'm sure Ianto wouldn't mind a replay, especially if you join us." The shivers went a little further south.

She burst out laughing. Couldn't even gather her wits long enough to tell Owen what he'd said. I had a pretty good idea. The second missile came from Owen. "You are so damn secretive. I wish you'd just tell us what's going on. 'Cause we know something's going on." He looked between Jack and me. Irritation, frustration and overwhelming curiosity burned in his eyes.

I bit my lip then pushed out a breath. Steady on. "Mate. _Mates_." I corrected. My arms spread wide, enfolding them—drawing them close. I'd have made a great game show hostess. "Some things are secret." I threw up my hands. Good imitation of a Jewish grandmother. I thought. "Not even mine to tell." Their heads spun and two pairs of bleary yet accusatory eyes landed on Jack.

He threw his hands up too. His imitation wasn't nearly as good as mine. "Not mine either," he insisted, all innocence. They could have tried out for the National Synchronized Eye Rolling Team. "Really. Sometimes, even I don't know." He actually whined.

The glaring lasted about a minute. At which point, Tosh looked at Owen and Owen looked at Tosh. The smirks grew until they erupted into laughter. Then they just shook it off. They really did. They shook their heads like an Etch a Sketch. Tabula Rasa, baby. Tosh was smiling again, warmth in her face. She leaned towards me, her whole demeanor relaxed once again. "You can trust us, you know?" She told me, her words were heavy with gravitas. However, the glittering, glassy drunken shine of her eyes betrayed her and left her looking somewhat unconvincing. Then she semi-hugged me before she stumbled off to the WC mumbling something about "floating down the river".

Jack leaned over, whispered in my ear. "You can, you know? Trust us. Trust me. I can keep a secret. You wouldn't believe how I can keep a secret. _Remember? I'm trustworthy_." He pitched his voice just so and then grinned. He remembered.

I remembered too and warmth spread across my skin. It was our first real conversation in private—in the TARDIS. I turned my head. My lips brushed over his, silky smooth. That always surprised me. So smooth. Mine were dry. Not so smooth. He was delicious. As our lips connected, our minds gently brushed, intensifying the sensation of warmth. We were sampling various areas of each other's mouths, tongues busy, hands gripped through fabric almost brutally when Owen tapped us on the shoulder. "Not that I don't thoroughly enjoy your public displays of affection." He indicated with a tilt of his head. "And obviously they do too." He pointed towards a cluster of tables with his chin. They were watching avidly, puddles of drool forming on their tables. He put a hand on each of our shoulders. "But maybe it's time to go," he suggested. Oh, wise, wise Owen. What would we do without you? We waited until Tosh made her way back to us. Then we had to convince her to leave with us. She didn't want to go.

"**NOOOO. NO WAY. NOT BEFORE I GET MY KISSES."** She crossed her arms. _Cute_. When Owen looked at her blankly, she explained. "My New Year's 'Eve kisses." Hands on hips. Head titled. Eyes sparkled. _Sexy_. Everyone made a look. Owen looked at Jack. Jack shrugged, looked at me. I looked at Owen. Owen looked at Tosh. We did a lot of looking.

Then suddenly she transformed from cute and sexy to predatory. She lunged at Owen. He didn't back away. Actually, his arms did wrap around her quite quickly. Jack tried to get a better look. I just smiled. Lust was radiating from her form in a spiral of crackling energy—white hot noise—and it held me firmly in place. We watched as she kissed the hell out of him. He stood there stunned. And before we knew it, she turned to Jack and proceeded to kiss the hell out of him too. Only she was out of her league. Jack dipped her, really sunk in. Owen chuckled, the nervous kind. He was on fire, smoldering and wanting more. I waited my turn. Just kept smiling. When they finally came up for air, she wobbled. He pushed her towards me. I caught her, obviously. Then Jack made a lunge for Owen. He was too shocked to back away. Also, I wasn't sure he meant to. Tosh muttered, "Wow. You are soooo lucky." She sighed, dreamily.

I laughed. "Oh, I know Tosh. Believe me. I know." Something flickered in her eyes; it didn't go away.

"Your turn," she announced. Her lips hit mine and I pulled her close. She was soft and curvy. So different from Jack. He was all hard lines and muscle covered by smooth, smooth skin. I could feel her lovely round breasts crushed up against my chest. But in her mouth, I tasted Jack. I groaned, swiped my tongue around her mouth. Eventually, she had to come up for air. We grinned, turned to see what Jack was doing to Owen.

**OWEN WATCHED** as Tosh maneuvered her three favorite men into a pre-New Year's 'Eve snog-fest. He hadn't wanted to miss the opportunity either. New Year's 'Eve. One of his favorite holidays. Perfect excuse to snog anyone you liked. And you hardly ever got a beating for it.

The look on her face when she targeted him sent him reeling, froze his body rigid, locked him in place. _Good god_, she was a sexy bird. Then her lips latched onto to his and her luscious body pressed against his and he was lost. It was over before he knew it. He stood there gasping, wanting more.

That kind of kiss usually led to the tearing of clothing and the throwing of bodies up against the nearest surface. He'd been about to return the kiss when she turned and latched onto to Jack. Damn. But the fires kept on burning. Because _they_ were hot, too. _Smoking. Hot_. He wasn't even jealous. He knew Jack and I were an item. He also knew Tosh didn't have a thing for Jack. Well, no more than anyone else did.

He'd been hoping she'd come back to him and was surprised when she latched onto me. He didn't even see Jack coming. Not until it was too late. Those lips, those hands, and those bloody pheromones. He was powerless. He didn't even notice when he'd started to respond. Only that he did. Desperately. Kissing Jack was like getting your sex-battery charged. _Excellent _charger. Convenient too. Easy to transport. Jack tasted like berries. Berries dipped in chocolate fudge. His mind kept spinning. He barely registered our presence. He barely registered his need for air. When Jack pulled away he groaned. He was mortified when he heard the sound coming out of his mouth. Jack grinned smugly—the arrogant cheeky bastard.

Tosh was revved, seriously turned on. The words were out of her mouth before she even realized. "Just you two left then." She grinned and pushed me towards Owen.

I balked. "I'm not kissing Owen." I protested. Turned to him, looking for back-up. It wasn't what I expected.

"Why the hell not?" he demanded. "I want to see what all the fuss is about." He strode over and surprised the hell out of me. It had to be the beer. Or maybe Jack. Maybe both. Whatever the cause, he was hard and had something to prove. Tosh stepped closer, got a really good look. She moaned and said something filthy. I tried hard not groan into his mouth. Owen knew he should've stopped, normally would have stopped but the look on Tosh's face just knocked him out. She was horny. She wanted him to kiss me. She wanted to see. He'd give her anything she wanted. He was still riding high on eau de Jack so he wasn't fully himself.

**HE WAS PRETTY GOOD**. Good technique. I gave him as good as I got. But it was fairly short. It was for Tosh and we both knew it. He stepped away, cleared his throat, gave me an appraising look. "Not bad," he grinned and gave me a subtle nod before he turned to Tosh. The nod was loaded with meaning. _We're not going to talk about this again. I'm not into you. You're not into me. This is all Jack's fault. I only did it for Tosh. _When he turned to Tosh, she was standing, with the assistance of the table and she was biting her knuckle. The fiery glint in his eye matched hers. He reached into his pocket, pulled out a heap of cash, threw down a wad of money on the table. He looked at Jack, accusingly at first. Then thought, _this is all your fault_. Considered his future prospects, changed it to _actually, this is all your fault and thank you_. He smiled and helped Tosh with her coat. "I'll make sure she gets home Jack." He couldn't make it sound like it wasn't an innuendo if he tried. "'Night."

Jack grinned. He loved this part. "See you two tomorrow. Very late in the afternoon." He got a gleeful smile from the both of them. Then he turned to me, "You. Me. Your place. Sound good?" He was eager, hopeful. For the first time, he noticed half the chairs in the pub were angled towards us. Who needs a stage when you've got Torchwood?

Continued in… _30 – Neutral Ground_


	39. C30 Neutral Ground

**30 – Neutral Ground**

**W/C**: 2212  
><strong>Warningsspoilers/content**: PG13 for some profanity and sexually suggestive themes**  
>Summary<strong>: Ianto and Jack meet Inspector Donaldson at a pub.  
><strong>Characters<strong>: Ianto, immortal-Jack, Tosh, Owen  
><strong>Ianto's New Timeline<strong>: Five days after Christmas. New Year's Day, 2006 

* * *

><p>JANUARY 1, 2006<p>

**"IANTO!" JACK BELLOWS. A LOT.** He especially bellows my name. Sometimes, I admit, I like it when he shouts my name. If I'm really good I get to hear him chant it. Oh, and sometimes, he slips it in between moans. That's nice too. But the bellowing has got to go. Especially at Tescos, browsing through Ikea or on the street. _Rude_—for starters. Not to mention annoying, agitating and completely unnecessary. I have exceptional hearing. But most importantly, I think, is the fact that it makes it incredibly difficult to maintain any semblance of anonymity. For the leader of a super-secret, need-to-know, off-the-books, backroom, nudge-nudge wink-wink organization, he shows an utter lack of discretion. Bellowing my name in public is not **_at all_** conducive to security.

I was browsing. And plotting—again. But more about that later. He wants me to hurry. I want to crawl into the corner, maybe under the bed. I tried the back of the wardrobe—earlier. Didn't fit. Besides I damn near wrinkled every piece of clothing I own. Blasted ironing.

We've agreed—well, when I say we… I've agreed on our behalf to meet Inspector Donaldson for drinks 'round the corner. Neutral ground. I'm in for a tongue lashing. And not the good kind.

The heavy metal door swung shut with a thud behind me but the cold draft clung stubbornly to my too thin clothing and swirled around my legs as I stood just inside the pub. I shook out my overcoat and got a slight frown from the hostess for leaving a puddle in my wake. Jack got an "oh dear, let me help you with that" and a folded piece of paper pressed into his hand. Her phone number. The bastard.

Inspector Donaldson was already seated. Early as usual. He had his back to the wall, a frothy pint gripped tightly between his massive mitts and a scowl that said his mood was as sour as the weather. He had us in his sights as we weaved through the tables and made our way to the far end of the pub. He had chosen a table on the other side of the pool table and as far away from the dart board as he could manage. He hates darts with a passion.

"You're late," he grunted gruffly. His eyes flashed and his scowl settled on Jack as he looked him up and down. Usually Jack would preen and flutter about like a peacock on the catwalk but this wasn't that kind of 'looking up and down'. It was an evaluation and he was obviously found lacking in one or more departments. But Jack wasn't fazed or at least he didn't let on if he was. Good game face.

Jack reached out and grasped the Inspector's hand and before he knew what was happening Jack was pumping his arm energetically like a long lost friend. Jack grinned madly. I may have snorted. Damn he was good. The Inspector was grumbling a reluctant "hello" and his grimace was forced to contort into an approximation of a smile. Cognitive dissonance is your friend.

Jack was gushing—_so happy to finally meet you—heard so much about you—Ianto speaks so highly of you_—and so on. Eye rolls all around—well for the Inspector and me at least. Jack was busy being charismatic and charming. The Inspector never had a fighting chance.

We finally settled into our seats and I saw the Inspector flex the muscles of his hand and forearm. He glared at Jack accusingly. He'd nearly had his arm shaken off.

I had a few minutes reprieve of mild chitchat before the Inspector cleared his throat loudly. Jack took the hint and shut the hell up. He took a long sip from his water and then found something very interesting to glance at behind my head. The Inspector gave me an impatient look that said I'd be spilling my guts more soonish than later. I swallowed down the dry lump in my throat and my eyes flickered between them nervously. We hadn't spoken since the Sycorax invasion—about a week ago—and I could see he had questions. He looked at Jack appraisingly. "I take it he knows?" His voice was pitched low. It rumbled across the table and I knew the moment of truth was upon me.

"Yes, mostly." I told him quietly.

Jack frowned, unsure all of a sudden. He felt like he'd missed something. If he hadn't been sitting there the entire time he would have assumed we'd been talking privately for several minutes. Par for the course, half of our conversation was unspoken. Poor Jack never had a fighting chance.

**WITHOUT PREAMBLE THE INSPECTOR LAUNCHED INTO A FULL SCALE ASSAULT.** "I want explanations now!" He spoke with a vehemence usually reserved for fathers of nubile under-aged daughters who prefer dating 'older men… in bands'. He slammed his tightly clenched fist down onto the slightly wobbly table sending our drinks up into the air momentarily. They bounced once and teetered dangerously while he peeled his skin away from the sticky wooden surface. Now, disgust waged war with impatience and irritation and marred his already craggy face. His meagre patience had finally snapped.

I wasted no time. "I know. And you deserve them. You do." I assured him.

"Don't give me that crap." He snarled and a bit of spittle went flying.

I chuckled. So did Jack.

The Inspector lobbed a rather dirty look in our general vicinity and then he glared more pointedly at Jack and demanded, "What are you laughing at?" Apparently, I'm allowed to chuckle. Jack isn't.

I held back the snort and the very manly giggle bubbling inside. _What a grumpy old bastard_, I thought.

Jack looked at the Inspector deliberately, completely unfazed. "I'd love some answers too." He took a sip, wiped the condensation accumulating on the surface of his water glass off onto his trousers.

I sighed. "You two can gang up on me all you like but it's not going to change the facts." I muttered. Annoyed now.

"And just what are the facts sonny?" He continued to berate. He jabbed a stringy finger my way.

I flinched. He didn't use that sweet term of endearment unless I was really in the dog house. "I can only tell you what I know." I began. It was now or never. Time to put on a show. I took a deep, dramatic breath and then started in on my explanation. "I have the ability to see the future… sometimes," I mumbled. I paused for effect. "Like flashes—dreams that come true. But only sometimes." I paused again. Waited. Nothing. So I continued. "People don't usually believe me so I've kept it a secret."

There was a moment of stunned silence and then he exploded. "What!? You're psychic?!" He very nearly shouted. His face spoke volumes. It said _disbelief_. "Do I look like an idiot?"

"NO. Not really." I insisted. I was answering more than one question. It may not have come out right. I made a _not so loud_ gesture with my hands. "I wouldn't call it that. And I never said I was psychic." I shook my head. Played the dismayed victim. "Look. Believe me or not." I threw up my hands. "I tell you nothing and you… you're pissed off. I tell you the truth and you accuse me of making it up." I took a drink. Hid my face. I've been told I'm a terrible liar. They obviously didn't know me very well. I've been lying since the day after my eighteenth birthday. Non-stop. I stayed quiet. In this little game of cat 'n mouse the next one to speak was the loser.

He broke down before I did. "Listen…"

"No, you listen." I pointed an indignant finger at him. "How else can you explain how I know all these things before they happen. It just comes to me." My exasperation was not feigned.

"All right." He held up a hand, hoping it would calm me. "All right. Calm down laddie. Don't get yourself all worked up. I'm sorry. It's just… difficult to believe."

"I know. Believe me I hardly believe it myself." I shook my head. Damn, I'm a lying liar. Who lies.

"Dreams? Hmm. That's not what I was expecting." He looked at Jack, a bit desperate for some backup. Jack had a look on his face. One that may have been construed as shock or confusion. But I knew better. He was holding his tongue. And it was paining him to do so. "Well, whatever it is…" he waffled. "It's a bit scary." His eyes darted from my face to Jack's again. He was searching for a clue. All he found was Jack's equally baffled looking expression and my 'genuinely dismayed' façade. Neither was helpful.

"Ya, I know." Sympathy. Innocence and sympathy.

"Have you been to see a doctor?" He ventured helpfully as only a parent or an aged aunt could do.

I almost spat beer through my left nostril. Across the room. "Why? I'm not sick Inspector." I gave the impression that he'd really struck a nerve.

"I know." He added quickly. How he suddenly understood was beyond me. Only a moment ago he was hoping for a diagnostic miracle from my G.P. "I mean to figure out why… you know… you have it." He concluded his diatribe rather limply.

I huffed. "No. A long time ago. I decided to keep it secret. I don't wanna end up in the loony-bin." I spoke in hushed tones. My observers saw a desperate man. Fearful of my secret 'psychic' abilities being outed. I increased the frequency of eye blinks and willed a flush of color to my throat and cheeks as I pleaded for mercy and compassion.

He melted. "I understand, son." His words were uncharacteristically gentle and warm.

"You'll keep my secret then?" My voice quavered. I pursed my lips. I gripped my half-empty glass in both hands. Apprehension played across my face. He saw hopeful. I thought, _lying liar who lies_.

He reached across the table and patted my hand. "Of course. You can always trust me Ianto. I'm on your side—always." I imagine the grimace that splayed across his face was actually meant to look like a smile.

He left shortly after that. I was relieved because all this disseminating—acting—lying—bullshitting—whatever—was exhausting. I took the last swallow and set my empty glass down gently. I hadn't really met Jack's eyes yet. He had to know I'd just lied my pants off to my dearest friend and mentor. I'd lied and lied well. People don't generally enjoy that. They tend to contemplate the chances of you doing it to them.

Jack cleared his throat. "You lied to him." A little disbelief.

"I know. It was necessary." I quirked my head. "You of all people should know that Jack." Defensive.

He nodded. "Do you lie to me like that?" He sought out my eyes. _Here it is_, I thought. I felt him brush up against my carefully constructed psychic defenses and saw his jaw tighten when he was expelled.

I looked him straight in the eyes and said, "Only as much as you lie to me Jack."

He flinched and sat there in shocked silence. The only sound that came out of his mouth was the sound of him clearing his throat. Nervously.

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><p><em>TW Ianto's Journal TW Ianto's Journal TW<em>

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><p><em>January 1, 2006<em>

We agreed to keep our mental barriers up during regular social situations. We also agreed to keep out of each other's heads at work unless it was a life or death type emergency. Funny how rare those regular situations are. And of course, with my astounding luck the first one that came along ends with me lying my face off to the Inspector and to Jack. I wish I could peek—just to see what he really thinks about all this. I'd never get in undetected. It's still quite painful for me. Admittedly, not as much screaming involved as there was at first. But I'm still a bit shit at the whole telepathy-mindreading thing.

I have mastered the basic shield and I can receive small controlled bursts. I'm absolute crap at sending though. My telepathy has a long way to go.

Empathy on the other, seems to come quite easily. Now, that I'm aware of what I'm doing, I'm a hell of a lot better at it. I guess I've been using it all along. No wonder I was always anticipating the needs of others.

But when emotions are high, it gets overwhelming. I feel like an unwilling sponge, a raw nerve flayed and left open and exposed to the uncontrollable barrage of emotions and thoughts of all those around me. Unfortunately, they all can't be a sex-charged misbehaving Tosh on a mission.

I lied. He knows I lied. I know he knows. So goes my life.

_**WHAT TO DO?**_

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><p><em>TW Ianto's Journal TW Ianto's Journal TW <em>

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><p>Continued in… <em>31 – Retail Therapy<em>


	40. C31 Retail Therapy

_**31 - Retail Therapy** _

**W/C**: 1800  
><strong>Warningsspoilers/content**: PG13-17 for profanity, sexually suggestive themes and language. This is a bit of fun, silly, smut.**  
>Summary<strong>: Jack catches Ianto measuring his bunker.  
><strong>Characters<strong>: Ianto, immortal-Jack  
><strong>Ianto's New Timeline<strong>: January 5, 2006

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><p><strong>MEASURING TAPES.<strong> Measuring tapes have all sorts of uses. They're useful. They can be naughty—if you're Jack. Or they can be used for more sneaky purposes—if you're me. Either way, they are definitely useful. It had become a point of contention for me—_his bed_—it's ridiculous size—it's utter lack of comfort. If you counted up all of the times that I'd slept in it—and there were loads—I'd never slept well. So, I smuggled my handy measuring tape down into the _sex pit _and had my way with it.

I measured the hell out of it. I had plans, you see. Big plans. Comfortable plans. Fairly expensive plans. Plans that require a good deal of assembly. Plans that would be well worth of the delivery fee. I sketched out the floor plan. I considered alternate layout options. I did my best to push any and all thoughts of Jack's impending ire out of my mind. There was time for that later. Now was the time of measuring and planning and plotting.

Jack had gone out with Owen. I figured they'd be gone for hours. A weevil sighting in Splott on a weekday afternoon had a lot of potential. It could take a while. I was so focussed on what I was doing and so very pleased with myself for being so sneaky and so damn clever that I nearly had a heart attack when Jack poked his head through the hatch.

"What ya doing?" he chirped. There was less suspicion in his voice than I thought there'd be. He had a good chuckle when I yelped and banged my head. He took me by surprise and sent my heart racing. I thought I might even surcome to shock. Cheeky bastard.

I stood up quickly, tape in hand, dangling behind my back. "Nothing." I squeaked.

He chuckled and made his way down the ladder. "Oh, really?" I bit my lip. His smile grew. "It doesn't look like nothing. In fact, it kinda looks like you've been snooping through my things." His tone was light and joking but his eyes scanned the room for any evidence of rummaging.

I paled. That was the last thing I'd do. "I'd never!" I gasped in horror. "I'd never go through your private things Jack." I insisted with such vehemence that he started.

He nodded. "Okay." He held up his hands. I could see he believed me. I started to breathe again. He started to walk towards me. It was only a few steps. The sex pit does not span great distances. Which is why I was down there measuring in the first place. I'd consulted an interior designer over at IKEA. The lady said she was 'a small space expert'. Whatever that is. The point is, we have a very small space. We have a very small bed, a _ridiculously_ small bed. We have two relatively large men. The situation is just… ridiculous.

Jack reached around behind me and picked up the _graph-paper-floor-plan-worksheet-thingy _from atop his ridiculously small little bed. He brought it up within range of his face and scanned the sketches I'd made. "Hmmm," was all he said at first. I stood there nervously shifting my weight from one leg to the other, mentally kicking myself for getting caught.

"Interesting." He frowned and pursed his lips in consternation. "You taking up interior design?" Again with the lilting, sing-song voice. Smug. Smug and cheeky.

I blushed. I blushed hard. I cleared my throat quietly. "No. Not so much." I plucked the floor plan worksheet from his clever little fingers. "Just… considering options." I sputtered, in a manly way.

"Uhm hmm." He crossed his arms and rose a brow. It was a brow of disbelief. "What options?" he queried. More disbelief.

"Options of comfort." I retorted. I smirked and spun around. "This bed is shite, Jack. You need something bigger. I'm just helping you with a task I know you'll hate." I swept a hand across the space dramatically. "I've consulted a small space expert." As those ridiculous words rolled off my tongue, I rolled an eye pre-emptively. I couldn't believe I just said that.

"What the hell is a small space expert?" He asked carefully, sounding genuinely confused and more than a little embarrassed about his ignorance.

I shrugged and smiled. "Not really sure," I admitted with a chuckle. "But she had some good ideas." I insisted, trying to salvage the situation. Salvaging my dignity was out of the question. "She told me to measure the space. So. I'm. Measuring. The. Space." I tried to sound confident. As confident as one can when caught red-handed.

He gave it a moment of thought. Shrugged. He leaned forward and grabbed a hold of my waist. With one hand he pulled me forward until our bodies meshed, with the other he angled my head just so. When his lips brushed mine, I sighed. He was smiling. I could feel it in his kiss. His palm caressed my cheek and he whispered over my skin, "I trust you."

o

**I TAPPED MY EAR PIECE. "JACK? YOU AVAILABLE?** I need some help with some heavy lifting." I waited for his reply. The boxes were leaning against the wall. The only wall in the Tourist Office. I needed his help to get them downstairs. I couldn't very well have the delivery guy carry it down, now could I?

It only took a few days. I was now in love with IKEA. Their website was incredible. Their customer service people actually gave good service. They even smiled at you. They delivered and would have even set it up for me if I hadn't wanted it installed in a super-secret-underground-lair-like base. Now, alI we had to do was set it up. How hard could that be?

I now officially hate IKEA. I hate their stupid bed. I hate their stupid frame. I hate their stupid instruction sheet that doesn't give any instruction whatsoever. I hate their stupid little tool that is supposed to fit into any hole but doesn't. After 3 or 4 hours, we decided to take a break.

My head was resting on the back of the nasty sofa that graces our hub and my legs were sticking straight out in front of me. My tie had long been discarded somewhere and not in the way you'd expect. Jack didn't even take it off of me. Disappointing. We sat there for an insufficient amount of time and tried to catch our breath.

By this point, Jack was also hating IKEA. However, I was starting to suspect that he also hated me just a little bit too. It was hard to tell though because my eyes were scrunched up tightly. A full blown mind-tearing headache had blossomed during our struggle with the bed. Jack wasn't talking. I could hear him breathing though and he sounded tired. I sighed, "I'm so sorry." I tried to open my eyes so I could look at him but the pain was blinding. I groaned instead.

"It's okay, Ianto." He sighed. "You didn't design the damn thing." He paused and then added, "If you had… I'd have to shoot you." He took my hand in his and squeezed gently.

"Maybe we could get that installation guy back here and just Retcon him afterwards?" I sounded hopeful.

He didn't say anything for a moment. He looked like he was thinking about it though. He chuckled. "I'm not sure it would be ethical to use a mind-altering substance on the nice people over at IKEA." He sounded wistful. "I'm tempted though." He added after a beat. He took a good look at me, saw I was in pain. He slid over and pushed me forward on the sofa. "Here, slide forward so I can get behind you."

"Oh god, not now Jack." I whined. "My brain matter is trying to pulse out of my eyes. I'm not in the mood for any of your shenanigans." I whined long and loud.

"Oh shut up. I'm trying to give you a massage. You're whining like a baby." He teased lightly.

I opened my eyes a crack and threw poisoned darts at him with my mind. Not really. Just imaginary ones. He laughed and added, "A very cute baby." He shimmied up and slid in behind me. He pulled me back against his chest and started kneading my shoulders and neck. I couldn't contain the groans of pleasure. "Is that better?" He murmured in my ear. I sighed when he planted a few soft fluttery kisses along my neck.

"Yes." My answer had a soft slightly sibilant hiss. "Oh god, yes." I sighed again and lay my head back on his shoulder. He kissed me again, still soft and almost chaste. Almost. Jack is never really chaste.

"Come on," he said with more energy than he really felt. "I want to test out this bed tonight." He nipped my earlobe before pushing me to my feet.

**WE MANAGED TO EMPTY THE SEX PIT** of everything except for the bed and frame which gave us the moving around space we needed to install the damn thing. I was struggling with 'the tool' trying to connect the _ever-essential-vigorous-and-extended-sex-supporting cross-bars_ while Jack played with the headboard.

I twirled the hexagonal hand tool like a DIY Olympian and was making noticeable headway. However, when I looked over at Jack I saw he was entirely distracted. I prodded him lightly, "Jack? How's it coming?" He blinked himself out of the daydream and smiled.

"Oh…" he chuckled. "I'm doing just fine." With a loud crack, he clapped his hands and then rubbed them together vigorously, grinning all the while. "I've been thinking about a few scenarios." He ran his hand over the headboard lovingly. Then his eyes, wickedly blue, met mine. He told me, in great detail all the ways we could 'try out' the bed frame. He really liked the wrought iron number I'd chosen. He thought it had a lot of potential. Potential for handcuffs. Potential for silk ties. A lot of potential. We did actually get the frame setup before too much longer. Then, Jack got his wish and I got my reward for going through all the trouble of getting him a new bed.

Eons later, when we finally came up for air Jack said something that sent us both into giggling hysterics. The room was steamy and Jack lay sprawled, gloriously naked and glistening. I lay gasping for breath wishing I had a water-cooler set-up next to the bed. He rolled over onto his side and propped himself up on one arm so he could rake his eyes over my quivering body more thoroughly. He grinned as he surveyed his work and again I caught his glance, the cock of his eyebrow, the cock of his cock. Then in a sexy throaty voice he murmured, "We've got to send a thank you note to that small space expert."

Continued in… _32 – We're Not Playing Around_


	41. C32 We're Not Playing Around

**_32 - We're Not Playing Around _**

**W/C**: 2023  
><strong>Warningsspoilers/content**: PG13 for profanity, contains: angst and humour. Reference to & spoilers for DW3.12-The Last of the Time Lords.  
><strong>Summary<strong>: Jack never fucks up small.  
><strong>Characters<strong>: Ianto, immortal-Jack, Tosh, Owen  
><strong>Ianto's New Timeline<strong>: January 6, 2006 – January 9, 2006  
><strong>AN:** I'd like to express my thanks to everyone for leaving comments, for favouriting and for putting my story on your alert list. It just makes my day. Thank you all so very much.

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><p><strong>JANUARY BROUGHT MOMENTOUS CHANGES TO GREAT BRITAIN<strong>. After the unnecessary slaughter of the Sycorax and the Doctor's subsequent ire, a resounding vote of no confidence left Harriet Jones booted out of office. To be honest, we weren't all that surprised. The Doctor had been _furious_. She had become one of _those_ humans—the ones that disappoint the Doctor—the ones that make the rest of humanity _look bad_ to the rest of the Universe. In her place, a compelling stranger rose to power. One of his first acts as Britain's leader was to instigate a global telecommunications network called the Archangel Network. His name was Saxon and everybody loved him. Even if they didn't want to.

I began consulting my old journals more and more. Something was eating away at my subconscious and I couldn't place it. I was tempted, so very tempted, to show Jack my journal. The one that contained a single entry about our new Prime Minister. It simply said, _Saxon=evil Time Lord_.

I was starting to panic. Primarily because at first I couldn't remember how I knew this fact. It was awfully blurry. I wracked my brains for days on end with no success. Then one night, in the deepest darkest hour I awoke from a terrible dream. I had dreamt of Jack. My convoluted mind had produced a twisted terrifying reality where Jack was tortured and killed over and over again. I paced the lengths of my flat until I wore a slight trench into the carpets. The dream had prodded my memories though and after hours of sleeplessness I could just barely recall a single late-night conversation with Jack. We were lying in bed, one night not long after he came back from his extended trip with the Doctor. His trip to hell. That's what he called it. His trip to hell. An entire year of hell. At the time, he told me that Saxon was actually a Time Lord like the Doctor. That's where their similarities ended though. Saxon was an evil lunatic. Really evil. He couldn't tell me details. He couldn't form the words. Every time he even considered dredging up those memories he started to panic. I'm talking epic panic attacks. He had a monumental case of PTSD. He'd flinched at the lightest touch for weeks. And the nightmares were another story altogether. He explained that the profound disparities between our memories of that time were due to a horrifying timey-wimey related tragedy. He said everyone _forgot._ Everyone except those on the Valient, the Prime Minister's air-ship, forgot the entire year of hell. Time was reset.

It was eating away at me. I knew he was bad news—the worst news—but I really liked him and I couldn't think of a single reason why. Moreover, Jack liked him. So did Tosh and Owen. The question then, was how to let them know. In a moment of quiet desperation, I considered leaving yellow sticky-notes all around the hub. Obviously, I had to come up with a different plan.

**I WAS DISTRACTED FROM MY STATE OF QUIET DESPERATION BY A SOUND.** I heard the sound clearly over the perpetual mechanical hum that pervades the hub. It drew my attention immediately. Her face was a twist of shock and mild horror. The gasp was quickly muffled by both hands pressing against her mouth. Her eyes were attempting to leave their sockets, bulging at the seams. They were glued to the screen. My feet moved to her side without my by or leave. I craned my neck around her stock still form to get a look at the screen. I became impressively still. A mirror image of Tosh. Only my eyes chose to narrow rather than bulge. My fists chose to clench rather than fly to my mouth and I couldn't have made a noise if I wanted to.

It seemed like time stood still or sped up or stopped moving in the right direction. I wasn't sure. All I knew for certain, was that my feet began moving again without any direction from me. They pulled me along the familiar route of tunnels and steps and lifts that led to the Tourist Office, our front business. Images began forming in my mind, agonizing scenarios, past fears, doubts come to life. I rounded the corner, silently. He had no idea I was even there. Neither did she.

To be fair, it looked like Jack was being consumed by the woman instead of merely kissing her. Either way, I'd had enough. **"Jack!"** I shouted. **"I'm standing right here!"** I shouted some more. Really quite loudly. Well past unprofessional. He jumped, I felt a bit of evil delight. He spun around. She looked put out.

He started sputtering. Meaningless gibberish. "Ianto!" His eyes widened. "I wasn't…" His body tensed. "I didn't…" His hands started flailing. I just crossed my arms.

"You were meant to _greet_ the General, Jack. _Not_ inspect her soft palette." My words were steely. Hard and disappointed. I waited for his apology. None came.

She was the first to speak. She complained. Her whine was surprisingly high-pitched for a General. "What's the problem, Jacky?" She cooed, the harpy. "I thought… we'd pick up where we left off." A feral gleam set off her eyes. He started to dither.

"Ah… well… I'm…" That's as much as I could take. I shook my head in disgust. I left him standing there, mute and annoyed. He was annoyed with the interruption. He was annoyed by the chastening. He was annoyed by the sickening burn of guilt that I dared make him feel. Under his breath, he swore, the foulest of curses, "_Relationship!_"

By the time he got her down stairs I'd already completed the form, submitted (to myself), authorized (as Personnel Officer) and forged a counter-signature (Jack's). I gave the processed vacation request form to Tosh. With a look. Again, one of those looks that spoke volumes. It said: _fuck this— fuck him—I'm out of here—I'm not standing for this—I'm not taking this sitting down—I'm running away—I'm right— he's wrong—I'm gonna kill him—I might kill her— get me out of here!_

I left via the invisible lift. By my calculations, it afforded a much faster escape route.

Normally, I'd walk. That day, I caught a taxi. I went straight home. I packed a bag. I disassembled my mobile. Left it on the counter. I unplugged the telephone. Disconnected, it's a more annoying sound. I unplugged the door chime. Out of consideration for my neighbors. I put the deadbolt on. I put the chain on. I climbed out the window. I took the fire escape ladder down to the street. All the better to fuck with him.

I drove my car to the train station. I fancied a weekend away. Off out. And away we go. I was thinking Ibiza.

I called Rhi from the airport.

It took a few hours in flight before I stopped fuming.

I may have over-reacted.

**MEANWHILE, BACK AT THE HUB**… Jack was surprisingly oblivious. He led her up to his office. They_ bla—bla—bladded_ the whole way. She was a regular Chatty-Cathy, that one. Behind closed doors, they talked about whatever it was that she was there to talk about. After about ten minutes, Jack popped his head out and cheerfully asked, "Any way we could get some of Ianto's magical coffee?" He had the nerve to sound hopeful. Owen, flinched on my behalf. Tosh met his eyes darkly and shook her head "_No_" very, very slowly. He had the nerve to frown. In confusion. "Where is Ianto?" He had the nerve to ask. Tosh paused a moment. Giving me a few extra seconds to escape. Then she dragged her feet all the way up the stairs to his office door where she handed him the holiday request form. She stood there, stifling an amused grin that was desperate to get out and mock somebody for their idiocy. He stared at it, uncomprehending. He starred at his signature. He starred really hard. It was a good forgery. He gaped at her. Her eyebrows shot up as she turned around. She remained silent on the way back to her desk. She sat down and checked her watch. She decided it would be an early day. Owen was making a mess. Humming gleefully. He loved it when Jack got himself in shit. There were always fireworks. He never fucked up small. Always a good show.

I wasn't surprised that the _super-hot-faceless-military-official_ wanted to kiss him. I wasn't actually that surprised that she did kiss him. Honestly, the thing that really pissed me off was his inability to say, "I'm in a relationship." I think the stress of _Saxon=evil Time Lord_ was taking its toll. I ordered another drink.

Ibiza was great. Nice beaches.

**SHE TALKED FOR HOURS.** Wouldn't shut up. He tried to wrap it up as quickly as he could. She was very grabby. He smiled sweetly, directed her to the door. Jack did exactly what I thought he would. He tried calling the second she left the building. He drove over to my flat and tried the door. He pounded on the door. He tried the doorbell. _Broken_. He tried the neighbor. She told him to shut up, stop pounding on the door. He took out his master key. Tried the lock. The deadbolt _snicked_ open. The chain didn't budge. He called to me over and over again through the crack in the door. He checked my phone's GPS. It said I was inside. He kept calling. The neighbor told him to shut up again. He put his shoulder into it. _No dice_. He called the landline. _No service?_ "Annoying sound," he muttered. He decided to try the GPS tracker on my car. He went to the train station. _No trace_. I'd paid cash. He had a brainwave. He called my sister. She told him to piss off. "What the fuck?" He muttered, after she'd hung up on him. He went back to the hub. Went straight to Tosh's desk. She'd gone home. "Where the hell is everyone?" He asked Tosh's desk. It said nothing. It wasn't speaking to him either.

He called Tosh at home. She was reluctant to speak to him. She picked up after five or six rings. "Hello, Jack."

"What's going on?" He asked tersely.

"I'm having a bath." Succinct. Pithy.

He grit his teeth. Took a deep breath. It didn't help at all. "Where did Ianto go?" The words ground out painfully.

"I have no idea. He didn't tell me. He just handed me the form and left using the Lift." Technically, she was telling the truth. But her heart just wasn't in it. She was pissed off and disappointed. She'd watched the CCTV footage of the _kiss and grope_. Saw exactly what I saw. Heard exactly what I'd heard. Which was exactly _nothing_.

"I'm not playing around Tosh." He had the nerve to sound threatening.

She pursed her lips and shook her head. Disgust again. "Neither is he, I'm sure."

He actually pulled the phone out from his ear and looked at it. What did he think would happen? Described video? DIY instructions?

"Give me something, Tosh." He huffed. "Anything." He had the decency to sound a little desperate.

"I've got nothing for you, Jack." She took a few breaths, wishing he'd let her finish her bath in peace. "I'll see you tomorrow." She couldn't muster enough pity to soften her words so she hung up.

He watched all the available CCTV footage. He watched the exchange from every angle. He watched us watching him. He watched me walk up the stairs and shout at him. He watched my face when he didn't say anything in defense of our relationship. He watched me fill out the form and hand it to Tosh. I hadn't said a word. I just engaged the lift and walked out onto the Plaz. Using the CCTV network, he tried to follow my taxi all the way to my flat but he lost it mid-way. But then he managed to pick it up again as I was paying the fare. He followed me all the way to the train station. He watched me buy a ticket. Destination unknown. Cash payment. Obviously. He gave up and went to his office to think (sulk).

Ibiza has great food. Great entertainment. I couldn't believe how many scantily clad young men and women there were. Everywhere.

_Continued in… 33 – All I Want is You_


	42. C33 All I Want is You

**_33 – All I Want is You**_  
><em>**_**

**W/C**: 1757  
><strong>Warningsspoilers/content**: PG13 for profanity. Warning for sappy relationship development themes and some angst. **  
>Summary<strong>: Ianto comes back from his trip. Jack woos, seriously.  
><strong>Characters<strong>: Ianto, immortal-Jack  
><strong>Ianto's New Timeline<strong>: January 22 – 26, 2006  
><strong>AN:** Hi there, lovely readers. I have a question. I was wondering if you thought it (my writing, the story, the last chapter) was funny? I'd love some feedback about that. One/two word comments would be fine. You know: _sides hurt, funny-ish, I snorted, not funny, needs work, lame_

* * *

><p><strong>AS YOU CAN IMAGINE<strong>, Jack did not wait patiently for my return. He paced, he ranted, he swore, he broke a few things. Including my front door. Nothing made him feel better. I'd had a fairly rotten time too but I'd never tell him that. I tried to enjoy myself, I really did. On the outside, I'm I sure I looked the part. But on the inside, I was more than a little torn up. I spent a few days mulling it over. I came up with nothing.

I finally decided to check my email at the airport. I had a bit of time to waste while I waited for my plane. I told myself I was looking for something from Tosh. I knew she'd keep me up to date. But that's not what I found. Apparently, he'd gone through an impressively diverse array of emotions. The emails documented each and every one of them. On average, he'd sent one an hour while I'd been away. There were angry ones, outraged ones, humble apologetic ones, pathetic begging ones but my personal favorites were the attempts at logical rationalization. Damn him and his twisted sense of right and wrong. How exactly do you judge a man who's lived (and died) through several human lifetimes in several solar systems, in various times? It's not exactly clear cut.

**HE HATED WAITING. **He hated not knowing even more. As the hours limped by, Jack was wracked with increasingly negative imaginings of my current state. On a very basic level he just wanted to know where I was. Deep down, he worried about what I might do. He sensed that I had snapped. My patience had expired. But he worried. How could he protect me if he couldn't find me? He floated through his daily duties as per norm but he was distracted and irritable. He took it out on his surroundings, as usual. Tosh had remained frosty and displayed clear signs of disappointment which filled him awash with shame. He'd let her down. He'd let me down.

Owen proved that he _could_ in fact, be a bigger dick. He was the only one sporting a smile and he was positively gleeful with Jack's discomfort. Jack wanted to punch him in the face. The urge was strong but he held himself back. It wasn't Owen's fault. He had fucked up all on his own. He wasn't able to maintain his unreadable mask under the near constant barrage of disquieting thoughts. He spent his evenings at my flat. At first, he thought he might sleep in my bed. To wait for me. He couldn't fall asleep. As the days ticked by, he felt even more guilty for being in my flat uninvited. It was obvious to him that he was, uninvited. He spent the time thinking. He ran the encounter through his mind over and over.

In truth, he'd been blown away when _Hot Lips-Big Tits-Pert Ass-Legs up to There_ had smashed her voluptuous body up against his, simultaneously forming an airtight seal between their circulatory systems via their lips. In fact, he'd been so blown away by the surprisingly pleasant turn of events that he'd utterly forgotten he was in a 'relationship'. _He was happily in a relationship_, he reminded himself. During the encounter, somewhere off in the caverness back of his mind, a little voice was "aheming" quite insistently. He had ignored it at the time. That same little voice was currently supplying him with a supplemental briefing regarding the etiquette of said 'relationship' status. The most salient section included the do's and don'ts. He performed an exhaustive scan of his memories, in particular his numerous years as an adult and he'd come to the conclusion that kisses and touches were on the restricted activities list.

**HE WAS WAITING FOR ME** in the dark when I finally arrived at my flat. I knew he was there. His scent was everywhere. He'd obviously spent a lot of time there over the last few days. "Did you have a _nice_ time?" There was steel and hurt there and something brittle too. I stayed quiet, not sure how to respond—how I _wanted_ to respond. I put my things away, methodically sorting through the laundry and the toiletries until all I had left was an empty suitcase. I put that away too for good measure. The tension boiled off of him. I didn't even turn on the lights. I didn't want to see his face. "Where did you go?" It was edged with a plaintive whine. I'm sure he cursed himself for it too. I tried not to let it weaken my resolve.

"Ibiza." I didn't spit it out exactly. I wasn't overly soft either. I made myself a cup of tea. It was late and I needed to sleep tonight. In my own bed.

"Oh." He said after a moment. What else could he say? "Why?" He added after a beat because he really wanted to know.

I gave it some thought. _Why did I go there?_ I'd plucked it from the air, really. It was far away? Far away from you? It didn't seem like an adequate answer. So I didn't give one right away.

"Did you go visit someone?" I thought it a strange question. It did shine some light on his current state of mind. Perhaps he was suspicious or feeling insecure. I couldn't know for sure. It would serve him right though.

I snorted. I remained stubbornly nonverbal.

He filled up the silence with uncomfortable mumbles. "You should probably delete any emails I've sent you since you've… been gone."

"Oh, I've read them." I told him. I sounded snippy.

He groaned, very quietly. "Sorry." He whispered.

I spun around. "For what?" I snapped. "For what _exactly_ are you apologizing Jack?" I stood before him, hands on my hips. I gripped so hard, desperate to keep my hands to myself, that I left bruises.

He flinched, took a deep breath before he said a word. "For…" he waved his hand, vaguely. "For… being a jerk." My eyes narrowed and my head tilted to the side. I waited. He took the hint. "For… all those terrible emails." I crossed my arms. Waited some more. "For… for… kissing her?" I shook my head, disgusted with him. How he could remain so spectacularly ignorant was beyond me. I dropped my arms and turned away. I resumed drinking my now tepid tea. I stood with my back to him. My shoulders were bunched and my neck ached with tension.

He pushed away from the wall. "For Pete's sake, Ianto!" He raised his voice, a notch above the expected.

It pushed me past the point of tolerance. It was my turn to shout. "What the hell are you angry about?" _What right do you have?_ I wanted to shout that instead but I didn't.

He stumbled back at my onslaught. He swallowed, hard. His mouth and throat were dry from disuse and stress. "You…"

"I what?" I stepped even closer.

"You… you left." He finished quietly. His eyes flashed in the shadows and something in my chest dropped, leaving me feeling nauseous and a pang of regret.

"Yes. I. Did." _And I would do it again_. The message was clear. He heard my answer in his mind and with his ears. His eyes slid shut and his head bowed.

"Why?" He asked again.

This time I had an answer. "I was so angry with you." I sighed. "I didn't want to say something or do something that I'd regret." I ran a hand through my crazed hair and then added, "And I needed some time away… from here… and from you."

He was surprised by my answer—by the naked honesty I offered.

He decided to deal with the first part first, a slightly less loaded topic. "You mean… like those emails," he ventured.

I nodded. "Much like that." I pulled out a chair and slid behind the kitchen table.

He stayed standing but not still. His hands were in his hair, pulling at clumps with frustration. He stopped and stood over me. "I am sorry, Ianto." He wrapped his fingers around the back of a chair. "I'm… terrible at this."

I nodded, my lips twisted wryly. He frowned. He was delusional if he was expecting a quick sympathetic denial. "Yep. You are." I agreed, more lightly. "Sit." I indicated with my chin.

He pulled out the chair and sank down into it with a thud. "What… how do I fix this?" He was so lost, so uncertain of himself, us. But it seemed that he wanted to make it right so I softened.

I sighed, loudly. I felt resigned now. "Do you want to be in a relationship with me, Jack?"

"Yes." He didn't hesitate to answer. He leaned forward. He was itching to take my hand. But I'd left. I'd abandoned him. Without a word. So he held himself in check. "I do."

I nodded. "Good. Good, Jack." I smiled, or I tied to. It wasn't very convincing. I was exhausted—emotionally as well as physically. I ran my hands over my face, trying to wipe the fuzziness away. No luck. "But… I need… fidelity."

He wasn't ready to let this go. And neither was I, if I was being honest with myself. I was just so tired. He leaned forward and grasped my hand, "I haven't strayed. I haven't been with anyone—only you." I rose an eyebrow, a reminder of the kiss. "That was nothing." I started to pull my hands away. "_Please_… Ianto, believe me. That was just a kiss. I didn't even want to kiss her. I wasn't prepared for it. I'm sorry. I should have said no. I should have told her… that you and I…"

"Yes. You should have." I met his gaze, mine was hard, his was pleading. Genuine but pleading. This was the crux of the problem. He should have told her. He should have wanted to tell her—been proud to tell her. He didn't and he wasn't. It hurt. I wanted to curl in on myself—push him away—nurse my hurt away from prying eyes. He wouldn't let go.

"Just.. Tell me… What do you want from me?" He demanded, he sounded raw and desperate.

I closed my eyes and hung my head low for a moment while I gathered my thoughts. Then I leaned forward, squeezed his hands after all. "All I want from you, is you Jack." I replied, my voice was steady and calm.

_-.-_

_Continued in… 34 - For Your Listening Pleasure_


	43. C34 For Your Listening Pleasure

_**34 - For Your Listening Pleasure**_

**W/C**: 2814  
><strong>Warningsspoilers/content**: NC17 for rude language and sexual situations. **  
>Summary<strong>: Ianto comes back from his trip. Jack woos, seriously.  
><strong>Characters<strong>: Ianto, immortal-Jack, Tosh, Owen  
><strong>Ianto's New Timeline<strong>: January 30, 2006 – February 4, 2006  
><strong>AN**: Once again, Exile owns Kiss You All Over – all hale Exile

* * *

><p><strong>THREE DAYS AGO, <strong>I found a note card on my desk.I'd just come back from lunch with Tosh and Owen. Jack had stayed behind, ostensibly to attend a conference call. When I returned to my desk, it was waiting for me. I opened the card carefully and was surprised by what I found. Jack had written a formal invitation to dinner. At the bottom, in a curling scrawl, he told me he wanted to woo me. Out of nowhere, he appeared at my desk with an eager look on his face. Out of reflex, I assured him that he didn't need to woo me. After all, I wasn't a chick. He nodded solemnly and hummed. His eyes darted behind me. I could've sworn he was looking at Tosh.

After waiting a suitable amount of time, Tosh went up to his office. She smiled at me knowingly—too knowingly—as she passed by. Jack was grinning when she walked through the doorway. He sat with his feet propped up over the edge of his desk. "I think he really liked the invitation," he mused. He ran his index finger over his bottom lip and thought of the gleam in my eye when I'd accepted. Tosh beamed warmly.

**JACK HAD MADE RESERVATIONS AT THE CLUB.** He said his friend owned it and he wanted to treat me to a special night out. He drove us in the SUV and when we arrived the parking lot was packed. There was even a line up outside the door. Jack flashed his membership card and the doorman let us right in. He took me by the hand and led the way to a secluded booth in the far corner of the darkly lit room. He explained that we were going to see a dinner show. It was KTV night and the regulars were very popular.

**MY EYES WERE BURNING SLIGHTLY** by the time our lovely waitress arrived with the main course. She was attentive, I'll give her that. To my great surprise, she was fawning over both of us. Jack thought maybe she was hoping for a threesome. He has a spectacularly accurate guess-rate for these kinds of things. Never bet against Jack when it comes to sexual matters. You're bound to lose your shirt, your shoes, your trousers and anything else you might be wearing at the time.

Jack was pulsing, thrumming like a live wire. He had a secretive grin splashed across his face and it wasn't fading. Obviously, he had something planned. Apparently, I was being wooed. Jack took great pains to explain, in detail, the lengths (and widths) he was willing to go to in order to convince me of his dedication to our relationship and his willingness to adjust his behaviour for current social customs.

He'd reserved a booth in the corner with high sides that afforded us a feeling of almost complete privacy. Throughout dinner, his fingers rarely strayed far from my hand. It was as if he needed the reassurance of being in constant contact with me.

**DINNER WAS NICE.** Not the greatest meal I've ever had but nice enough. The Club (as Jack kept calling it) was a bit on the trashy side. I'm not saying the bottom of my shoes had to be peeled off the spotted brown carpet but there was a definite _texture_. The booths were designed sometime in the early seventies. The burnt orange plastic had hardened in places and cracked open to reveal the yellowed foam underneath. The air was unfathomably thick with stale cigarette smoke—so thick in fact that I couldn't actually see through the ghastly cloud well enough to make out who was smoking.

The waitresses were decked out in an unbearably cliché ensemble. They were clad in short frilly black satin skirts, fishnet stockings and heels so ridiculously high I was experiencing sympathy pains in my own arches. Their employer had somehow managed to choose a blouse that was inappropriate for every body type imaginable. Above the waist, these poor women had been wrapped in wafer thin white polyester blouses that dipped far too low to accommodate a standard brassier. Every single one of them were several sizes too small, leaving the wearer visibly uncomfortable in their own skin and far too little left to the imagination. In some cases, this may have been considered a plus. In others however, it was a distasteful display of tightly wrapped bumps and rolls, an obscene over-exposure of fatty tissue and pinching bra-straps which caused a good number of patrons to avert their eyes out of distaste or pity. I won't even attempt to describe the absurd costumes worn by the waiters as I am still traumatized by the shocking sight. I've never been so strongly against standardized uniforms in my life.

Within thirty minutes of us finishing dinner, the lights dimmed even lower and our host announced the first act. We thought they were excellent. We cheered and clapped loudly along with the rest of the audience. Then the owner took the microphone and started thanking his guests for coming. The next act he explained was one of his most loyal, long time, regulars and he was proud to invite him on stage. Jack stood up and sauntered up onto the stage. He spoke to his friend for a moment in hushed tones; they made a few adjustments to the stage props and then the lights went out. For a moment I sat holding my breath. _Jack was going to sing? Jack can sing? What the hell was Jack going to sing?_ Those along with a dozen other equally clever questions ran through my mind while the lights remained snuffed out.

Tosh and Owen had been sitting off somewhere in the smog filled room. I hadn't even noticed. They came over after Jack left for the stage and slipped into the booth next to me. They brought their drinks and added to my already significant nervous energy. She patted my thigh and smiled gleefully. She explained that she and Jack had been working on this for a while. She needed to see this. Owen just looked uncomfortable with the whole situation. When he finally met my eyes he looked rather apologetic.

The lights were dimmed, so low, I could barely make out his outline. He stood front and center, a tall microphone stand the only thing between him and the audience. He'd snagged a cowboy hat from back-stage and it sat on his head askew, tilted slightly over his left eye. He wore the coat. It looked like it was mostly buttoned. It was silent, utterly silent, not a sound, not a whisper came from the audience. They couldn't take their eyes off the stage and he hadn't even started yet. I could hear Tosh breathing beside me and I'm sure she could hear me. Ragged breaths tend to carry. As the first few bars rang out spot lights came on one by one, first from the left, then from the right and then finally the top of his hat was lit by an overhead spotlight as it pulsed in time with the music. As each spot light came on, he rocked his hips from side to side, swaying with the music. He moved slowly, a sultry tease in every jut of the hip. He kept his eyes down, his face remained shadowed by the wide brim of the hat. He ran his fingers along the brim, flicking forwards dramatically. His hand extended outwards, swept across his body in one graceful fluid motion until his fingertips brushed against the microphone. He snatched it out of its holder and brought it to his lips with a snap of the wrist.

As soon as I heard the first few notes, my hands flew up to my face and I gasped. Tosh, who was sitting to my right, was startled by my reaction. She scanned The Club anxiously in case I'd spotted a Weevil or something. With a wave of my hand, I assured her that wasn't the threat that I was worried about. But soon after that my ability to speak temporarily left me.

**_"When I get home, babe_**

**_Gonna light your fire_**

**_All day, I've been thinkin' about you, babe_**

**_You're my one desire…"_**

Owen sat next to Tosh, his drink forgotten. When Jack started singing, Owen's eyes went wide and his jaw slack. He leaned forward and stared up at my equally amazed expression. He leaned passed Tosh and pitched his voice to carry, "Why the hell did he pick this song?"

Almost simultaneously, Tosh and I snapped, "Not now Owen!" He got the message and his mouth snapped shut. He shrugged and held out his hands in a 'no offense' kind of gesture to which Tosh replied with a slight smile. My hands were wrapped around my skull. They seemed to be holding all my scrambled bits together. At random intervals I tugged at my hair sharply. My scalp protested, but the short bursts of pain served to remind me that I was awake, not dreaming.

**_"Gonna wrap my arms around you_**

**_Hold you close to me_**

**_Oh, babe, I wanna taste your lips_**

**_I wanna be your fantasy, yeah…"_**

He had practiced - **_no_** - he had choreographed a song and dance number. His song choice was anything but random. There was no doubt of that in my mind. As I watched him, my mind leapt back to October of last year. It was right after he`d asked me out on a date for the first time. I`d been rather chipper with anticipation and alone in the archives, or so I thought. He had spied on me while I sang my heart out and danced around like a fool, in love. Tonight, he sang his heart out. He danced around like a fool in love, on stage. He was singing to me. No one with eyes could deny the truth of it.

**_"I don't know what I'd do without you, babe _**

**_Don't know where I'd be _**

**_You're not just another lover_**

**_No, you're everything to me_**

**_Every time I'm with you, baby _**

**_I can't believe it's true _**

**_When you're layin' in my arms _**

**_And you do the things you do…"_**

He sang to me, he made hand gestures to me. I was dumbfounded. I was touched. I'm a sap, what can I say? It was the most romantic thing I'd ever had done for me. _He did this for me._ The thought kept repeating itself.

**_"You can see it in my eyes _**

**_I can feel it in your touch _**

**_You don't have to say a thing _**

**_Just let me show how much"_**

He started unbuttoning his coat rather seductively and I heard a loud catcall from the audience. I bit my lip and started to turn a lovely shade of red. It slid off his shoulders and landed on the floor. He bent down to pick it up while he continued to sing. Then he sauntered stage left and tossed The Coat over a stool and resumed dancing.

**_"Love you, need you, yeah_**

**_I wanna kiss you all over _**

**_And over again _**

**_I wanna kiss you all over_**

**_Till the night closes in _**

**_Till the night closes in…" _**

Tosh was gushing next to me. Tears were streaming down her face. Owen was beside himself, had no idea what to do. She'd been holding my hand under the table but suddenly she let go. Now instead of holding my hand she was hugging me from the side. She managed to speak into my ear, "Oh, god. Ianto. This is so romantic." She sniffed. "I can't believe how wonderful this is." I could only nod in agreement. I didn't trust myself to speak just yet.

**_"Stay with me, lay with me_**

**_Holding me, loving me, baby _**

**_Here with me, near with me_**

**_Feeling you close to me, baby _**

**_So show me, show me ev'rything you do _**

**_'Cause baby, no one does it quite like you…"_**

As the song drew to a close, he stepped to the edge of the stage. Our eyes locked as he poured his heart out through song. When he sang the next few lines I felt my heart glow inside me.

**_"Love you, need you, oh babe_**

**_Love you, need you, oh babe _**

**_I wanna kiss you all over _**

**_And over again _**

**_I wanna kiss you all over_**

**_Till the night closes in…"_**

**WE BARELY MADE IT THROUGH THE DOOR**. As we tumbled over the threshold, there was a frantic tearing of clothing, hands and lips vied for purchase, layered over a desperate need to touch, to be touched. There was a wall. I remember that quite clearly. It was near the door.

Jack had discarded his shirt and trousers in record time. He's quite good at that. That and roofs. He straddled my leg, one of his pressed between my thighs, rutted up against me, up against that wall. He was so close, he was barely giving me room to breathe. There was an urgency to this, a renewed vigor, just like at the beginning. My shirt was undone, hanging off my shoulders and my trousers were hanging open. The thing about being shoved up against a wall and having an eager, tactile lover like Jack slotted between your thighs is the immobility. I'd have to move, something, if I was going to get these clothes off. But we just couldn't let go. It was delicious. My head was spinning and my mind was clear of everything except the urgent need to _be_ inside Jack. I wanted to be inside of his skin. I just wanted to feel him, like never before.

Jack has a clever mouth. He was doing things to mine I couldn't replicate. His lips smothered mine with sloppy, hard, teeth-y kisses. His tongue teased and tantalized the sensitive skin inside. It felt like he was crawling down my throat. In a good way. "Jack." I gasped, "I need…" I struggled for the words. "Too many clothes." While I spoke, he'd latched onto my neck. All I could do was groan. And hold on.

I pushed him away, just as far as I could stand. I started with my shirt. He started with my trousers. The pants came off at the same time. No need to waste any time. Finally, we were skin to skin. We were pressed together as close as two separate entities can be. It still wasn't enough. "Jack. Oh, god. _Jack._" I panted into his neck. My hands were everywhere, touching, stroking, clutching, seeking out his sensitive places, teasing deliciously naughty sounds from between those lips. He was grinding himself slow against my erection. It had to be pure torture for him as well. Little sounds were streaming from his lips, from deep in his throat. They were needy and sounded utterly filthy. I couldn't imagine a better soundtrack. I wish I could record him and use it to masturbate with when Jack wasn't around. But it's not something I'm likely to forget. Just the thought of that sent a sharp jolt of lust pulsing straight through to my cock.

"Oh, ya. Ianto." He groaned, his head tilted back, his eyes a narrow slit with blown pupils underneath. Heat pulsed between us. Then he was plunging towards my throat, latching on, sucking at that spot, nibbling hard enough to make me gasp. My knees buckled and if he hadn't been thrusting me against the wall, I'd have fallen to the ground. That little stab of pain made me groan loud enough to wake the neighbors. He moved lower and flicked his tongue over an eager nipple. He lingered just long enough to draw out another gasp. Then he was on the floor, kneeling in front of me. He gripped my hips tightly and pressed me back into the wall. He dipped his head, nuzzled and ghosted a warm breath over my balls before licking a stripe up the underside of my cock. He started at the tip and laid open mouthed wet kisses along the entire length of me. He went back to the beginning and started to suck and lick as I slid into his smoldering mouth, deeper and deeper.

He was digging into his coat pocket, obviously looking for supplies. He's a regular boy scout. Always at the ready. Then, slick fingers slipped inside and wiggled in just the right way, gaining a deep desperate groan while my legs trembled like a newborn spring lamb. But I needed more.

There was a flurry of motion as Jack pulled me to the floor. Then he's on top. I have a moment, I think I'd like to switch places but I change my mind. He was so focused on me. Giving me pleasure. I couldn't stop if I tried.

* * *

><p>Continued in…<p>

_Ear Candy Meet Nose Candy_ (short story – see profile): a quick glimpse of what happened in London between Chapter 34 and Chapter 35

Then… _C35 – Who Would You Save?_


	44. C35 Who Would You Save?

**_35 - Who Would You Save? _**

**W/C**: 1700  
><strong>Warningsspoilers/content**: pretty general, I didn't even swear (which is amazing, you know, for me)  
><strong>Summary<strong>: "I need to know who'd you put on your list of people to save?"  
><strong>Characters<strong>: Ianto, immortal-Jack, Tosh  
><strong>Ianto's New Timeline<strong>: end of February, 2006

**A/N:** While Ianto was away at a wedding, Jack attended the mandatory Director's Meeting in London where he meets John and Sherlock. For a quick glimpse of what happened in London between Chapter 34 and Chapter 35 see short story: _Ear Candy Meet Nose Candy_. Go on… read it. I'll wait.

* * *

><p><strong> "ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?" TOSH ASKED<strong>. The sofa dipped as she sat down beside me. She was obviously concerned by my disorientation.

I blinked rapidly and rubbed my bleary eyes. "Ya, just a bit dazed." I admitted. "I was having this wild dream. Jack was dressed up like Princess Leah and I was doing this weird thing with my lightsaber." I realized I'd shared far too much but only after the words had left my mouth.

Tosh was grateful that she didn't have anything in her mouth because she would have choked. She managed to rein-in an undignified squeal with a hand clamped over her mouth. She swallowed painfully then looked at me carefully. Her voice was level when she spoke. Impressively so. "Ianto, I have no response to that." She patted my knee playfully, then smiled before she stood up and walked away briskly towards the washroom. A few moments later, I heard the sounds of uncontrollable laughter erupt through the closed door. I groaned and cursed my big fat sleepy mouth.

**I FELT LIKE THE WALKING DEAD.** The wedding party had gotten out of hand. My sister had insisted on my presence. It was one of _those_ situations. The kind where you don't say no because you don't have that option. It was her husband's brother's wedding. I'd only met him once. But Rhi insisted—they were family. So, I accompanied my sister and her husband, Johnny to a lovely estate for the long weekend. It was like being locked on an island with a hoard of crazy drunkards. Non-stop partying for three days straight. They didn't sleep. They didn't stop. At all. Somewhere in the haze, I discovered a new mantra: _I'm getting too old for this_. Brain matter felt like it was oozing from my cracked skull. There were times (throughout the day) when I just wished somebody wold put me out of my misery.

Jack would have come with me—and I had wanted him to—but his presence was required elsewhere. Yvonne Hartman, head of Torchwood One, had called for the Annual Director's Meetings. It was one concession Jack had agreed to. There would be annual meetings to discuss developments in technology and intelligence. They would be held in London. It was one of the criteria for receiving financial support (method of blackmail) stipulated by the crown. If Jack didn't attend and actively participate in the meetings then we didn't get our funding. Jack had grown accustomed to and rather fond of our funding therefore Jack always went to the Annual Director's Meetings. They lasted four days and because Yvonne is a sadist (who never sleeps) she likes to hold it over the long weekend (fun).

By the time we got a chance to see each other again in private, our combined sexual tension was nearing spontaneous combustion. Absence makes the heart grow fonder? Absence makes the boys rather frantic is more like it. When I first asked him about his week in London, he was a bit vague which I found surprising. He usually couldn't wait to tell me all the gossip. Get that many Torchwood executives in a room and sparks are sure to fly.

**HE SEEMED A BIT OFF SO I PUSHED**, ever so gently and he finally confessed the details of his _strange_ experience. It had nothing to do with the meetings though, he assured me. Which wasn't reassuring at all. Apparently, he had earned himself a stalker of epic proportions. Jack was loath to admit, that even with the vast resources available to him care of Torchwood, he wasn't able to shake the fellow and he certainly was not able to get the upper hand.

Jack told me about the doctor he met, who was apparently quite cute. _Ahem_. "Really?" I asked. He was adamant that _nothing_ happened. _At all_. He was just making an observation. There had been no physical contact. Like window shopping. He insisted. As for the tall fellow, well Jack was quite annoyed.

When I asked if he was cute Jack just curled his lip, waved a hand through the air and muttered. "_I suppose_." That made me smirk, which did nothing for Jack's mood. After he calmed down, I listened while he paced and recounted the 'whole' story. Jack's main point of contention was that the 'tall fellow' tailed him (unnoticed) to his hotel and was able to break into his hotel room, not once but _twice_. And both times he left a note. Cheeky fellow. I was impressed. Jack was not. Jack assured me that the next time we went to London we would be hunting the cheeky bugger down. I tried very hard not to smirk.

**TIME WAS GETTING ON. **We were well into March and all I could think about were the horrors that awaited me. It was time to begin preparations. Which meant it was time to discuss a few things with Jack, none of which he would be all that excited about. The first thing I needed to do was convince Jack to give me access to some 'discretionary funds'. I knew he'd want to know the reasons why, so I made an extensive list, cornered him in his office and proceeded to explain why he should give me free reign of the miscellaneous spending account.

**The List**

_4 used cars (reliable, tinted windows)  
>LT underground parking  
>4 sets of emergency food supplies<br>4 sets of emergency first aid kits  
>4 sets of emergency roadside kits<br>4 GPS units  
>Assorted warm clothing<br>Bedding (sleeping bags)  
>Purchase or lease of a large multi-roomed cottage in a remote wooded area<br>4 sets of weapons/firearms and ammo  
>4 PO Box rentals<em>

"I've spoken to the others Jack and we've come up with a list of… our special people. My family in car #1, Tosh's mom in car #2 and Owen's brother & his girlfriend in car #3." I looked up at him nervously. "And you Jack? Will you need room for more than 3?" I waited, clamped an imaginary hand over my mouth.

He'd schooled his features and managed an impressively blank face. He blinked several times but I remained silent. Whoever spoke next lost the upper hand. "Three?" He questioned shortly. Then silence fell again. I waited. He sighed and gave in. "Why do I need a car?"

That was my cue. "For the people you care most about. Your family… your… lo… friends." He frowned. His eyes narrowed and darkened. We'd never talked about his family or special friends before. I knew he'd be irritated and more than a little suspicious. He was wondering what the hell I knew and more importantly how I knew it. "Why are you doing this Ianto?" I hadn't been expecting that question. It threw me for a loop for a few minutes. It was a good thing that I was already sitting down.

"It's all we can do Jack." I explained. "We can send them away from harm." I smiled gently.

"Where exactly would you send them?" He demanded. He tried to soften the harshness of his words with a little smile but it wasn't completely genuine so I ignored it.

"I've found a property that would be suitable. It's a couple of hours from here. In the northwest." He sat there with his arms crossed but he nodded, silently encouraging me to continue. "It's a large cottage in the mountains. Completely isolated. Hard to see from the air and the road."

His fingers rose up to his lips. He made a steeple. A sure sign he was thinking about the possibilities. "And what do they do once they get there?" he probed thoughtfully.

I frowned. I thought it was obvious. "Wait. Stay safe."

He looked at me more closely. His eyes drilled into me, tried to dig through my thick professional skin to the truth underneath. He couldn't see any signs of deception but he wasn't quite convinced yet either. I was impressed by his self-control. He could've taken a peek inside at any time. It was likely that I couldn't stop him and we both knew it.

**I TOOK THE PLUNGE**. We'd never broached the subject of his family before but that was about to change. "We've never talked about your family before Jack." I held up a hand to stay his comment. "And before you say anything I know it's private. And I know you guard your privacy jealously. We all have family Jack. We all have skeletons as well. This isn't the time for hiding from difficult questions or for deceit. My only concern is for their safety." I assured him. "You don't have to tell any of us who they are. You just have to prepare them for the emergency. You'll need to convince them to follow my instructions. They just have to grab a few things and then go to a mailbox to get the keys and directions. From there they'll be directed by GPS to the cottage. If the GPS fails, there's a back-up paper map in the glove box.

Jack had gone still. He sat stiffly, on alert, still evaluating. Something clicked and then he shifted, subtly. "Okay, Ianto. Two for sure." He admitted. "And you obviously already know who they are or you wouldn't have known to ask." He words were laced with accusation. "But please enlighten me, who's the third person?"

I stared dumbly, my mouth popping open like a fish under water. "Do you want me to say her name?" I asked cautiously.

"Yes, please." He spread his hands wide, like a game show host, and encouraged me to go on.

"Okay." I pushed out an uneasy breath and calculated my best escape route from his office if things should go badly. My eyes flicked side to side. "What about Estelle?" I said, my voice quiet, almost reverent as I spoke her name.

He blinked, flinched like I'd punched him. I sat back in my chair, my shoulder blades pushed again the frame. I felt bruises forming. "I…" he closed his eyes. "Yes, that would be nice." He replied in an equally soft voice.

_Continued in… 36 – Tending the Herb Garden_


	45. C36 Tending the Herb Garden

**36 _– Tending the Herb Garden_**

**W/C**: 1700  
><strong>Warningsspoilers/content**: Mature [NC-17] for profanity, drug use, sexually suggestive themes and language.  
><strong>Summary<strong>: Team TW discover an enormous stash of pharmaceuticals after an evil drug dealing Bane is eliminated. Owen and Ianto help themselves and Jack drops by for a chat.  
><strong>Characters<strong>: Ianto, immortal-Jack, Owen and Tosh  
><strong>Ianto's New Timeline<strong>: April 29, 2006

* * *

><p><strong>"I SMELL LIKE A GREAT BIG BLOODY SQUID'S ARSEHOLE!"<strong> Owen snarled as he tore off his sopping, rank clothes. They landed in a heaping pile on the Med Bay floor with a sick squelching sound. Tosh was doing the same, only in the middle of the shower room. Jack and I were waiting our turn, still covered in slime. Owen couldn't wait another second. "I hate those damn things." He jabbed a boney finger at Jack. "What did I tell ya, Jack?" _Scowl_, followed by a sharp chin jab. "Every. Damn. Time. I told you not to shoot it _IN THE HEAD!_" He threw up his hands. The sharp motion sent a glob of slime snapping through the air. The glob of slime landed with a muted _splosh_ on the counter, right next to his slime encased mobile. He scowled even harder. "Next time I'll take the shot! Do you hear me, Jack?" Jack's solemn nod and glittering eyes sent Owen into a shouting fit. We left the area as quickly as we could.

Jack bit his lip in an effort to hold the chuckled in. My jaw muscles were locked and my face was beet red. After 'the explosion' our eyes had locked momentarily and we came to a silent agreement that the first to laugh would lose this round. And the loser would _pay_ later this evening. The contest had been going on all day—and as far as we knew no one was the wiser. _Improbable_.

The current contest was to see who could hold out the longest—from laughing of course. Jack knew full well what would happen when he shot the damn Bane in the head. It was huge and squashy. They always explode when you shoot them in the head. Any Torchwood operative knows that.

We'd just finished dragging the small to medium sized pieces of the _now deceased_ drug dealing Bane into the hub. This one was rather large and particularly nasty. The Bane are a one eyed, tentacled alien race with a penchant for enslaving other species. They enjoy a good psychotropic drug, especially those that are highly addictive. This one had taken up residence near a primary school. It was dealing and recruiting among the young. Jack was all too pleased to shoot the bastard. In the head.

Unfortunately, Tosh and Owen were also standing within splash radius when its head had exploded. Jack and I took charge of the small to medium sized bits, as I said, and Tosh and Owen were responsible for removing the _liquid portions_ of the corpse.

We'd cleaned out the entire house and it was stocked full of supplies—drugs of various kinds—from sleeping pills to crack. Our underground incinerator came in handy far too regularly these days. If it wasn't body parts or dangerous tech then it was some kind of harmful chemical. Today, it was copious amounts of drugs.

Tosh went to work cataloguing and Jack got a call from some faceless, boring government official which left me and Owen to clean up the stash. We lugged the bags down the narrow, dank, corridors without too much trouble. He was in a slightly better mood now that he'd had a good rant—and a shower. "Pass me that bag, Ianto." He grunted out his request and I complied.

I picked up another bag and made to pass it to him however there was a tear at the bottom of the flimsy Tesco's bag so half of the contents slipped out of my grasp and landed haphazardly across the floor. I swore and bent down to gather up the wayward baggies. I frowned and took a closer look. It looked like oregano. Sort of.

I opened the Ziploc bag and took a tentative sniff. Owen was standing over me with his hands on his hips and a caution building on his lips but something in my face stopped him from speaking. He cocked his head instead. "Well?" he prompted. "What is it?" He rose an inquiring brow and leaned down to get a better look. "Well. Well. Well," he sang.

I took a deeper sniff and my eyes did a somersault in their sockets with pleasure. "Oh, sweet Mary." I sighed. "That is some good shit, my friend." I passed him a few bags to inspect for himself.

We _did_ incinerate all of the psychotropic drugs. And all of the pharmaceuticals. And everything in between. As for the weed, well. Not so much. We _split_ it.

* * *

><p><strong>JACK GOT A CALL, AN EMERGENCY<strong>. He had to meet a _new arrival_ at a local safe house. He apologized to me and promised that he'd come by later. "Maybe we can finish our game?" _Wink wink—nudge nudge—squeeze squeeze—groan groan_. Later had better come quick.

Tosh and Owen decided to go for a drink. I collected my things and as I passed I told Owen, "I'm going home to take care of my herb garden." He laughed. So unlike him lately. Tosh asked him what was so funny. He whispered in her ear. She gasped and then giggled. And they were off.

Jack didn't even notice.

As soon as I got home, the first thing I did was put the kettle on. Then I found some rolling papers and a lighter. Just like riding a bike. I ran a bath and had every intention of soaking the hell out of my tired achy muscles. I stayed in there—with my tea and treats—until my limbs felt limp as Jell-O.

When Jack finally came over I was absolutely _off my face_. I had already gone through half a case of beer and a couple of… well, many, many joints.

He knocked, a quick one-two then walked right in like he usually does. He came up short though, frowning and fanning his way through the haze of fragrant smoke that greeted him. The floor was littered with evidence of my snacking rampage. Crumpled crisp bags, crumbs and cans were strewn willy-nilly. He was immediately concerned by the state of the place.

I was dishevelled, to say the least. Debauched would be more accurate. As soon as I saw him I started stroking myself through my pants.

"You started without me." He flicked a glance my way, a heated one.

"Don't waste your glares on me." The retort skipped out of my mouth smoothly. "You took too long," I informed him haughtily.

He stood at a distance, uncomfortable with the drugs. "Are you stoned?"

"Oh, god yes. _Profoundly_," I drawled.

"Where did you…?"

I smirked. I was about to be clever. "_Bane—Bane—Bane_. The bane of my existence is the Bane. _Slimy, slimy, Bane. Bane—Bane—Bane_." The word was distractingly pleasant on the tongue. "But not the Bane's weed." My lovely little chant amused me to no end. I snickered.

Frowns seemed to be dripping off of him. "You were supposed to destroy that." He crossed his arms and stood there like somebody's grumpy old Dad.

"Yes. We were." I gave him a wide brimmed smile.

His lip was developing a microscopic twitch. "You and Owen?"

"Ye_p_." I popped my _p_ like the Doctor. He'd be so proud. "We split it."

"I see."

"Get your clothes off." I grunted out the demand impatiently.

"What?" He paused for a fraction of a nanosecond then, "Okay…" His hands went to work on the tiny buttons of his shirt.

I started drooling at the first sign of skin. "_Seriously_. You are hot." I had a good hold of my cock. A fairly filthy sounding groan escaped before I could do anything about it.

He smirked and his eyes went a little darker. "You _are_ stoned."

"_Yesssss_." I hissed, ground a hot sweaty palm into my crotch a little more roughly and bit down on my bottom lip. "I am. But you are still mightily hot." I breathed out the words. My tongue darted out and I licked my lips to stave off the ensuing drought. "_Scorching_." I groaned again. "Painfully so." My hand slipped under the rim of my pants. Familiar long fingers wrapped around my aching cock and pulled out a long firm stroke. Again, a throaty groan slipped from between my lips. I closed my eyes and threw my head back against the sofa. "_Come on Jack_," I moaned desperately.

That got him moving double-time. His clothes miraculously dropped to the floor, leaving a trail from the front door—across the hall—through the living room—to the front of the sofa where I was firmly planted. I'd long since given up trying to sit _on_ the sofa. It was a long way to fall and it took far too much effort to reach for things.

He knelt down between my outstretched legs, gripped the waistband so he could tear my pants down over my hips. I tilted my pelvis helpfully and he started dragging them downwards. I bit my lip when he pulled them over my cock and it bobbed amusingly. _When did everything get so damn funny?_

"I had a bath…"

"Uhmmm." He was humouring me now.

"It was sooo good and beer, it's good too. I don't usually like beer. I went out and bought some and some crisps. Interesting texture, so crunchy."

"Uhmmmmm." He'd settle down between my thighs now. I gasped when his tongue darted out and swirled around the tip. "Are you going to shut up now?"

"I… I don't think I can." My hands ran through his silky hair and wrapped around the back of his head. I tried to hold him steady. No such luck. Good thing too.

He sank down and his warm, wet mouth surrounded me. I felt like I was drowning… drowning. I was purring and gasping and moaning and making such an obscene selection of noises that Jack was struggling to stay on track.

He pulled me down so I was laying on the floor and he slid over me—skin on skin—and I was drowning again

* * *

><p><strong> Continued in... 37 - Loose Lips<strong>


	46. C37 Loose Lips

_**37 – Loose Lips**_

**W/C**: 1046  
><strong>Warningsspoilers/content**: M/NC-17 for profanity, drug use, sexually suggestive themes and language. **Summary**: Ianto indulges in Herb Gardening and ends up confiding in Jack.  
><strong>Characters<strong>: Ianto, immortal-Jack  
><strong>Ianto's New Timeline<strong>: April 29, 2006

* * *

><p><strong>"SOMETIMES, I FEEL LIKE I'M GOING INSANE." <strong>I'd been laying on the floor next to Jack, awash in post-coital bliss. Mumbling off and on. I still couldn't control my mouth. I felt like I was floating. I couldn't stop touching his skin. I couldn't stop touching _my_ skin. I wanted more. Of everything.

Jack heard the shift, I wasn't joking around anymore. He took a minute to catch his breath but a careful, thin grin remained on his face. "Ya, how so?" He made a big show of chuckling while he said it. And for good measure he took a sip of my beer. Trying to get me to relax? To trust him? I hardly noticed.

The room was flying. Spinning around like a wobbly ceiling fan. _Swoosh. Swoosh_. _Swoosh_. The kind you'd find in a trashy Mexican hotel, dangling dangerously from the ceiling, right over the bed. You want to turn it off but you can't—too damn hot to sleep without it. "Oooohhh… ya know…" I slurred. My eyes followed the imaginary spinning blades as they sliced through the air, wobbling this way and that, trailing a swooshing noise that was all wrong. _Swoosh. Swoosh_. _Swoosh_. It needed some maintenance. My imagination was surprisingly active. "I'm experiencing time all wrong," I quipped.

_Silence _

His silence worked as it should. I kept on going. This time, a bit more rambly, less pausy. "My present has too many layers. Like right now. I'm here, stoned out of my mind, lying on the floor, thoroughly shagged. I can feel the carpet, I can smell this delicious scent wafting through the air and I can taste you in my mouth," I purred.

He groaned loudly, my filthy comment having the desired effect.

"I feel hungry." I peeled an eyelid open, blinked a few times. "My eyes hurt. The carpet is… scratchy on my back. I've got cum all over me." Another moan. "I am fully… _here_." I paused, focussed on my breathing. In… out. In… out. "But I'm also seeing my past. I'm _there._ I feel it, Jack. _Intensely_. These memories are… so strong. I can't stop experiencing them." Our eyes met. "It's not just a memory—it's actually happening while I talk to you." I dropped my head and my eyes slid closed once more. "Christ, it's like a parfait. My life is a fucking parfait."

He cocked his head, said nothing but his eyes conveyed both confusion and concern. He stayed his tongue.

"And the future… well _that's _even more fucked. They're in here too. And not just plans… you know… like other people." I thumped my head once against the floor and closed my eyes more tightly. I heard the swooshing of the blades again. _Wibble._ _Wobble._ _Swoosh. Swoosh_. _Swoosh_. "They imagine what could be—what they wish for—what they fear but it's just that, imagination. But me? I… I know. I can see it." My voice cracked, then quieted, became scarcely a whisper. "Everything that's happened in the past and everything that'll happen in the future is happening _right now_." My mind had basically unhinged itself and somehow hijacked the sensor button on my mouth. I knew what I was saying and I didn't care. I turned to him. My eyes were suddenly clear; everything was clear. "You know, I don't think time really exists and it scares the shit outta me." I admitted my fear freely and by doing so it became easier to bear. "It's so fucked." I sighed heavily. I wondered if he'd believe me, take my words at face value or think it a metaphor and just brush it off.

Jack focussed on his breathing too but for a completely different reason. He wasn't stoned or drunk. He froze when he realized I wasn't just spouting some _random-drunk'n-stream-of-consciousness_, that I was **_in fact_** spilling my long kept secret. He held his tongue resolutely. He'd have pressed his hand to his mouth but he didn't want to move a muscle for fear that I'd stop talking. He knew the moment I started talking about _time_ that it was important. He didn't understand what my secret was exactly but he did have more information than before. Furthermore, he'd gained my trust enough, drugs and alcohol notwithstanding that I'd volunteered some very private, very important details. He knew for a fact that the only other person who knew the truth about my 'timeline problem' was the Doctor. He'd just been given the keys to a very exclusive club. The comfortable silence stretched on while I silently praised Jack for his easygoing nature.

"That's what I like about you Jack." I drawled lazily, stretching like a cat. "I tell you I'm living my past, present and future all at the same time and you… you just sit there… pondering. You're not even freaking out." I rolled my head and grinned at him. "If I told anyone… even one of those _ultra-new age-spiritual-nouveaux-hippies_… even they'd think I was a wack-job." I sighed in relief. "Thanks for not thinking I'm a wack-job Jack."

"No problem," he finally whispered. It was safe enough to speak now. I was obviously finished my little _time tirade_. He was quiet a moment. Then when he spoke, I heard how utterly shocked he was—in every word and in every breath in between. He finally said, "I've never heard anyone say that before." A beat, then, "So… do you actually see the future… right now?" he ventured.

I nodded and waggled my lips side to side. "Ya… one version of it at least."

"Do you know what I'm gonna do next?" he asked with a predatory leer.

"Well. No. Not like that." I snorted. "Well… actually… ya… I can guess. But that's 'cause you've got your sex face on." I guffawed at my clever observation.

Jack wasn't deflected. He was putting on a good front. He _was_ wearing his sex face but that was just a distraction. He wanted me to keep talking. He needed to know. "Can you tell me a little thing that is happening in the future?" he asked playfully.

He was crawling across the floor, on his hands and knees. Very distracting. I giggled. "Sure. I've got a doozy for ya..."

_Continued in… 38 – Sink Ships_


	47. C38 Sink Ships

_**38 - Sink Ships**_

**W/C**: 2400  
><strong>Warningsspoilers/content**: M/NC-17 for profanity, drug use, sexually suggestive themes and language.  
><strong>Summary<strong>: Ianto indulges in Herb Gardening and ends up confiding in Jack.  
><strong>Characters<strong>: Ianto, immortal-Jack  
><strong>Ianto's New Timeline<strong>: April 29, 2006  
><strong>AN:** There are about 7 or 8 chapters left. I've got quite a bit of editing to do before I'm satisfied enough to be able to post so there will be a couple of weeks between postings. I appreciate your patience and more than anything all of your wonderful comments. Thanks for staying with me while I tell my story. It's been a long haul.

* * *

><p><strong>"NEXT MONTH.<strong> That stupid bitch—_Hartman_—she's gonna open a portal and let a bunch of Cybermen and Daleks out." I sighed dramatically. "We are _soooo_ fucked." I said it in a lilting sing-song voice. It was delivered so flippantly Jack almost didn't take me seriously. Until, he heard the words 'Cybermen' and 'Daleks' that is. Then he almost shat his pants.

He pursed his lips again so he wouldn't accidentally blurt out some unnecessary word that might stop my speech dead in its tracks. He gulped, his mouth suddenly parched. He was so quiet, so still that I peeled my eyes open and turned towards him. He'd stopped mid-crawl, in the center of the living room floor. Frozen in horror.

"Oops." I realized my mistake a little too late. "Sorry. Didn't mean to tell you like that. Was gonna… be a little more tactful." I slurred and got to my knees. "Jack, seriously. Look at me m'k?" I was getting worried. Jack's eyes were clenched and his lips were pursed together. He opened his eyes and I recognized pain and fear. "I'm so sorry." I whispered.

"You're serious." It wasn't a question, just a rhetorical statement of fact, a hideous, horrifying fact.

I nodded. "Ya." I sighed. "I've been getting ready. You know?" I sped up, nervously. "I can do little things. We can make sure our families are safe." I hiccupped. I was in a poor state to be talking about a Cybermen invasion. "We can't do anything." I huffed in frustration. "It's Yvonne. She's not gonna listen. She's a fucking wacko-power hungry-bitch. _Seriously_." I added gravely.

He managed to drop from all fours to just his knees. Then he steadied himself before he started dragging the details from my overly flappy mouth. "When you say next month, do you mean in 30 days?" Sex face was gone. In its place was his _hard-core taken-care-of-business_ face.

"No. The Ghost Shift starts in June." Still rambling. "I can't remember the exact date. But I've been using the first week in June as the deadline for my preparations." I remembered to take a breath but the room kept on spinning. _Swoosh. Swoosh_. _Swoosh_.

I could see his mind was spinning too, processing at faster-than-light-speeds. "A couple of things. First, what do you mean you _can't remember_? And second, preparations?" He counted them off on his fingers.

I ran my tongue over my teeth. They really needed a brushing. I clicked my teeth together and then blew out with rounded lips like you do when you're pretending to be _the wind_ for a toddler. Then I thought of the blades.

_Swoosh. Swoosh_. _Swoosh_.

I _was_ _still_ stoned. I get distracted. _Easily_. All the while, I was desperately searching for the words to explain my answer to question number one.

He could see I was struggling. He tried to help. "Before you said _you see_ a version of the future." I nodded. "But that's not the same as _remembering_ a date for something." I winced, sighed and plopped down on the carpet. This was not going well. I ran my slightly damp palms over my too warm face, trying to clear my far too muddled mind.

_Swoosh. Swoosh_. _Swoosh_.

This time it was my breath swooshing in and out. Reluctantly, I whined, "I'm pretty sure I just broke a whole lot of timey-fucking-wimey rules. I'm also pretty sure the Doctor would disapprove." I caught his eye. His lips quirked (involuntarily) at my not so subtle pout. He nodded, agreeing with my supposition. I threw myself back down onto the ground. Drama-queen style. I landed with a thud. I considered for a long moment. I gathered up my reserve 'cleverness' and rallied my defense. "So, if _you_ were in my position—and I know for a fact that _you are_—what exactly would _you do_ to get out of telling _me_?" I felt quite pleased with myself. It came out sounding far better than I could have hoped for.

He shook his head, smirked and then looked up at the ceiling. I'm not sure what he was looking for, guidance perhaps? Or maybe an escape hatch? He had to admit, I'd presented an excellent point—especially for one so trashed. He considered the fact that I was right about him being in the same situation and wondered what I knew. There were too many secrets to count with regards to future knowledge of 21st Century Earth; technological advancements, wars, pivotal moments in politics, they happened on a daily basis around the world and he kept that knowledge to himself.

The thing was, he didn't remember ever reading about Cybermen and Daleks invading during his 21st Century Earth History class at the Time Agency. So either this information was new, which had huge ramifications all its own or the event didn't get written about in Earth's history. Either way this wasn't good.

"You're right, of course, I am in the same position for an _unspecified _number of events." I rolled my eyes half way to China. Understatement of the Century. I saw him smile at that. "And I don't talk about it." I rose a challenging eyebrow. He paused—nodded in acknowledgement—then corrected, "_Er_… **_them_**."

He gave me a look that said, he knew I knew he was totally full of shit and it couldn't be helped.

He continued. "I guess… I usually say that things are about to change for Earth. But you're right, I never give specifics." I threw my hands in the air. My point was made. "However," he interrupted my hand throwing. "If I knew a _Dalek invasion_ was imminent, I sure as hell would tell someone and try to do something about it."

I pushed out a sharp breath through my nose. A half-hearted snort of derision? Self-loathing? It was unclear, even to me. "Who would you tell exactly?" My eyebrows rose in challenge again. "And what if it's a fixed event Jack?" I shot back at him. "Something even the Doctor can't change. What then?" I pinched the bridge of my nose to stave off the unwelcomed pounding.

"I see your point." He leaned forward and he rested a warm hand on my arm. It was soothing. Also, distracting. "But there's no way to tell if it's fixed." I heard the battle of wisdom and uncertainty in his voice—as only a man of his age and experience could have. He sighed. "Only a Time Lord can see that." He paused in thought. I saw his lips turn white as he pursed them together. He was contemplating. How far should he go? How far should he push me? How far should he take advantage of this situation? But _hard-core taken-care-of-business_ face was still on and Jack had the whole world to worry about not just his lover's wrath come morning. His voice was gentle but firm when he pushed. "How do you… normally decide?"

"If something's fixed or not?" I asked. He nodded. I shrugged, waggled my lips, made a swooshing noise. The whole deal. Then I gave him the truth. "I've always just assumed that I have no control over other people's actions and I haven't even tried to change that kind of stuff."

He blinked a few times. Then he asked, "You mean… you've tried to change things?" I nodded silently. I thought he might be angry. I didn't know. I was afraid to speak. Suddenly, our voices sounded strange to my ears. _Too much weed_, I thought. "A lot of things?" He pushed further. I shook my head, again remaining silent. He was dying to know what I'd changed. And how. "Go on." He pleaded.

I was in over my head. How far was I going to go? I wanted to tell him _everything_ so badly. I needed to tell him. I was desperate to share this burden with him. I needed his help. So I told him the truth again. "I only change things in my life. Things that _I do_." I sought out his eyes. I searched them for anger, for disgust, for any sign he might reject me in my hour of need. "Then as you know there's a domino effect. Things diverge." My hands were flying through the air madly and I momentarily became distracted by the tracers trailing from my fingertips. _Ah… pretty_, I thought. After a slight pause, I snapped back to the present. I'm not sure if he noticed. "Then I no longer know that future. I can't see that… _particular stream_." I was grasping for words. The right words. The ones that would explain. "I don't know what to call it." My hands were tumbling around madly again. I closed my eyes so I wouldn't see the streaks of light. "You know… the stuff that happens after as a result of the change."

"Ya, I get you." He took a chance, hoped I would answer. "So what you're saying is… you don't predict…" He waited while I shook my head. "So… what?" He took a crazy stab in the dark. "Have you already _lived_ this timeline?" The only thing that moved was his mouth. The rest of his body was frozen, he didn't twitch a muscle, anticipation sent his heart pounding in his throat.

I sat but not still. I was fidgeting, biting my lip nervously and my thoughts were racing wildly. I thought about this distinction because it was a _huge_ piece of information. If I fessed up to this, I was basically telling Jack I'd lived this timeline before. Which suggested that I'd had a relationship with him already too. That was going to lead to way too many questions I didn't want to answer. But hey, I rationalized, I didn't actually have to answer any question I didn't want to. So what was the harm? I took the leap. "Correct." Finally, I fessed up.

He actually gasped. "Holy shit." The reality hit him fully and he almost fell over. I pulled him down off his knees so that we were sitting side by side up against the couch, in the near dark. His knees had to be hurting. The light from the kitchen slanted through the door and shadowed Jack's face deeply but I could still see the swirling mass of emotion as it danced across his face. He was reeling. He took my hand and gripped it tightly. My admission brought forth a wealth of thoughts all vying for a position at the forefront of his processing centers. It changed everything. It was as if he were suddenly looking through all of our experiences together again through a coloured lens. Everything looked slightly different. Disjointed things suddenly seemed connected. Insignificant events took on new meaning. Then he thought about our first meeting… our first kiss… our first night together… I watched him as his mind sprinted and connected and calculated. I saw in his eyes a frantic, terrified gleam and it reminded me of a wild animal trapped in a cage awaiting its fate.

"Are you going to bolt?" I blurted. It was my greatest fear at this point.

"NO. No of course not." He wrapped an arm around me, gripped _me_ tightly. "I'm just overwhelmed." He gulped. In a very small voice, he asked the question that suddenly plagued him. "How did you move through time Ianto?"

I shook my head. I knew he'd ask. I knew he'd want to know this more than anything. And I couldn't give him anything whatsoever. And I knew in my heart that he wouldn't believe the truth when I told him but I told him anyway. "I don't know Jack. I honestly don't know." I sighed, a long held sigh.

He frowned but nodded. It was enough for now. "That must have been terrifying. When you first arrived." He could imagine the feeling all too well. When he had been sent back in time, he'd been so lost. Frustrated and angry too.

I nodded. "I was freaked." I chewed on my lip and considered. "I guess not as freaked as I could have been. Working for Torchwood really makes it easier to accept weird shit when it happens."

"I'm trying to imagine. You had to redo… How long? How long have you been reliving the same timeline?"

I took a deep breath. "Since my 18 birthday."

"Oh, sweet Goddess of mercy," he muttered. His arm had been wrapped lightly around my shoulder but he must have sensed my anxiety because he pulled me even tighter. After a brief pause he chuckled. Then said, "Actually, I kinda know how that feels." He clutched at me desperately. It felt like we were melding into one form. He could feel my heartbeat pounding against his skin and I his.

"I know. You are literally the only human who'd understand." I held him just a tightly, so afraid to let go. I was afraid that at any moment, it would all be just too much for him and he would leave.

He sympathized. He understood. But his thoughts were still in turmoil. There was something, a thought, prodding at the back of his mind. "Ianto?" He waited until I hummed. "You age normally don't you?"

I cleared my throat. "Yes." I whispered. I knew he wouldn't understand this part of it. Hell, I didn't understand this part of it. As far as I could tell, it was impossible. I couldn't tell him anything else at this point.

I felt him frown. I was so thankful when he didn't pursue this sticky little detail. Instead, he grabbed onto another sticky detail. "Did you know me the first time?"

I nodded and smiled.

"Where we?" It was my turn to gulp. I nodded again. For some reason, I felt unbelievably guilty about this fact. "Wow. I'm the luckiest guy on Earth." I was shocked by the glitter in his eyes and the gleeful smile on his face. He pulled me around so I was straddling him and I felt a wave of adoration pour over me when he kissed me. I wrapped my arms around him, held him close until our lips parted. I was moved and utterly grateful for this twist of fate. I curled around him and buried my face in his hair. I whispered in his ear trying not to let my voice catch. "Thanks Jack. That is the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me." My voice rasped, too choked with emotion to come out normally.

"You are so welcome." He pressed a kiss to my throat and then without thought he added softly, "_My love_." His eyes slammed shut when he realized what he'd said. He swallowed loudly.

"I cherish every moment I get to have with you," I told him boldly. My eyes misted. He heard my breathing turn ragged.

He pulled away and held my face between his hands. He looked deeply into my eyes, seeking. Then he started rambling. "Oh, shit. Don't... cry. Don't be sad. Unless, something really terrible is going to happen in which case go ahead be sad and for the love of god please tell me so I can try to avert it."

"What if I change the wrong thing Jack? I could seriously fuck things up. The things we do… they kinda have an impact on the Earth. We're not just regular people."

"Even regular people can change the course of history. You could change it for the better." He tried to soothe. We sat like that for what seemed like hours. I listened to his even breath and it was like a balm to my whirling mind. After a time, he ventured one last question. "Is that it?

"What?"

"Is that your whole secret?"

"No."

He chuckled and hugged me tighter. "I didn't think so. Holding some back hey?"

I nodded. "I think it's best."

"Oh, _that's_ not good." He whined, loudly and long into the night.

_Continued in… Panic Button_


	48. C39 Panic Button

_**39 - Panic Button**_

**W/C**: 1299  
><strong>Warningsspoilers/content**: some profanity. of course.  
><strong>Summary<strong>: Ianto distributes panic buttons to their special people.  
><strong>Characters<strong>: Ianto, Rhi, Mrs. Sato, Owen's brother, immortal-Jack  
><strong>Ianto's New Timeline<strong>: May 5, 2006  
><strong>Author's note: <strong>It's been a while since I was able to post. This has been one hell of a bitch of a year. Too many tragedies. Once was bad enough. But I'm a friggin mess at present. It's hard to write angst when you are full to the brim yourself. So please bear with me as I crawl through the last section of the story. I appreciate all your wonderful, supportive comments and pm's. Thanks everyone.  
>blue<p>

* * *

><p><strong>"I WANT YOU TO KEEP THIS CLOSE.<strong> You'll get a message if there's an emergency. And I want you to get the kids and Johnny and go to the post box straight away."

She nodded solemnly. I saw a glint of fear and confusion in her eye but she nodded and put up a brave front none-the-less. "What'll the message say then?"

I smiled, pleased with my clever sister. "Good question." I patted her hand, gave it a little squeeze. "For a biggie, it'll say 'GO NOW'.

She bobbed her head gravely. "Okay. So, say I see this here emergency message, ya? And I go to the post box. What am I getting?"

"Instructions." I said quickly. I didn't want to tell her too much ahead of time. Secrecy was of the utmost importance and considering our foes so was keeping the details on a need-to-know basis. "And a way to get everything you need."

She frowned. My vague answer did not reassure her. "But instructions to what Ianto?" she insisted. "You sound like a bloody spy!" She said accusingly. "You're not making sense." She stood up, shoved her chair back until it nearly toppled over. "I want to know the truth Ianto!" She shouted and her face went red and blotchy with anger and stress. "What's going on? You're scaring me!" She glared daggers at me. I hadn't seen her that angry in years.

I tried to calm her, to diffuse the situation. "I know, I know Rhi." I insisted in response to the look she shot at me. She wouldn't take this vague song and dance a moment longer. I took her hand and tugged until she let me draw her back to the table. Then, in a quiet yet strong voice, I told her what I could.

She took it pretty well, actually and once I was finished she just had one thing to say. "For Christ's sakes Ianto, you **_are_** a bloody spy!"

* * *

><p><strong>"KON'NICHIWA, MRS. SATO<strong>. It is an honour to meet you." I bowed before her, as instructed. She led me to the sitting room and waited while I was seated. Tosh and I had come up with an agreeable 'story' that would give just enough information but not too much to endanger (or worry) her. I explained that because of her daughter's honoured position with the government she and her son were entitled to special security in case of a national emergency. I played the part of the genial civil servant (not so far from the truth) who was responsible for organizing their evacuation, should the need ever arise. I presented her with an encrypted mobile phone along with strict instructions to keep it near at all times. She smiled politely the entire time and I got the sense that Tosh would be getting a call the moment I stepped out of the front door.

* * *

><p><strong>OWEN'S BROTHER WAS A HANDFUL<strong>. I could definitely see the family resemblance. It was apparent that their relationship was strained, to say the least. "Why the hell would he give a shite about my security?"

I probably should have been expecting this, I _had_ been warned. "Listen. I know Owen's a bit… of a prick." He snorted and I had to acknowledge the understatement with a nod. "But he does care about your safety. Because of his job—his _position_—with the government, he's been given the opportunity to assure your safety in the event of a national emergency." He rose a brow and then quickly frowned. I could see the multitude of questions just bubbling under the surface. I gave him my best 'I'm just like you' smile. "Mind if we sit?" I figured, I was going to be there a while, might as well get comfortable.

* * *

><p><strong>I DEBATED SAVING<strong> the nicest for last but after the first three I figured I needed a slight reprieve. Estelle was just as lovely as I remembered her to be. It was heartbreaking. She made me tea—a good deal of it—while she regaled me with tales of Jack's father. We made polite conversation until my back teeth were floating.

* * *

><p><strong>JACK'S DAUGHTER WAS<strong> definitely the most awkward. She was also the most terrifying. She possessed the same force of will as Jack in crisis mode laced with an extra little edge of danger. She had the look of a woman who was thoroughly armed even if she wasn't carrying a weapon of any kind. I got the sense that she could probably kill me with her left pinky finger. Jack had called and tried to prepare her to receive me but I wasn't sure if that made matters better or worse. She eyed me up and down when she first opened the door to me and I caught myself hoping she wouldn't find me lacking. For some reason, I really wanted her to like me. She took a lot of convincing but after several hours of questioning she accepted the phone and promised to think about it. Just as I was about to stand up to leave she asked, "Why now?" and without a moment's pause clarified with a follow up question. "What's coming?"

My mouth worked open and closed. I thought for a second about giving her the standard line but the look in her eye said not to bother. She was a child born into Torchwood. Furthermore, she was a mother, a protective mother. So I gave her the simple truth. "Something big and most likely very bad." I sighed. "Please, just keep this close. I know you have issues with your father but he just wants to keep you and your son safe. Please, let us try."

She sat straight back, alert and very quiet. After a moment, she gave me a tiny, very controlled nod and I believe the sigh that escaped that time told her everything she needed to know: I was so relieved.

* * *

><p><strong>BACK AT THE HUB<strong>, the next day, I rounded the team up and gave them a run down of my conversations the previous day.

"First off, Owen, your brother is a bit of a prick. You definitely come by it honestly." In response, he flipped me the bird.

"Tosh, your mother is lovely. I don't think she believed a word I said."

"Oh, she believed you. She just saved all her panic for me."

"She called you right away didn't she?"

"Oh, yes." I gave her a look of sympathy.

I looked at Jack and thought very carefully about what I was going to say. "Jack, your people were… lovely and terrifying. I don't know what else to say." Then I addressed the three of them. "I think each of you will have to call your family and reiterate what I've told them. They'll need a bit of reassurance and I think only you'll be able to do that."

"Ianto?" Tosh started, "What else can you tell us?"

"Ya, don't leave us in the dark." Owen chimed in.

I looked at Jack and he shrugged. Not very helpful. He earned himself an Olympic sized eye roll.

"It's going to start in London and spread out from there. The problem is… we're going to have our homes invaded. I mean _everyone_ is going to have their homes invaded."

"By everyone… you mean… London? England?" Owen prompted.

I shook my head. "No. _Everyone_." They stared at me, wide eyed and worried. "That's all I can tell you for now but in a few weeks I'll have more information for you, okay?" Owen and Tosh shared a look and then they nodded, reluctantly.

The wait nearly killed us.


	49. C40 Ghosts for Everyone

**_40. Ghosts for Everyone_**

**W/C**: 1940  
><strong>Warningsspoilers/content**: some profanity  
><strong>Summary<strong>: the ghosts finally appear .  
><strong>Characters<strong>: Ianto, Rhi, Mrs. Sato, Owen's brother, immortal-Jack  
><strong>Ianto's New Timeline<strong>: May 21, 2006

* * *

><p><strong>THE FIRST TIME <strong>a 'ghost' appeared in my flat I was shocked. I wasn't exactly surprised. I knew it would happen eventually. I _knew_ it. But the reality of the situation threw me for a tizzy.

I was just coming off of a rather long and tedious shift and had just barely stumbled out of the bath. My muscles and joints were aching and screaming from the strain of running, dragging, fighting and falling down—not necessarily in that order—for the last eighteen hours or so. We'd just managed to lock up the baddies, cover up the evidence of our less than efficient capture efforts and plant a couple of conveniently defaced corpses where they'd be discovered sometime later this week and all I wanted to do was sleep. Apparently, it wasn't to be.

My phone rang almost immediately. "Ianto!?" Owen's shriek nearly blew my eardrum. "What the hell? What the hell was that?" I could hear him breathing heavily into the receiver, sounding like he'd just run the thousand meter dash.

I shuddered. I didn't feel any calmer than he sounded, I was just numb. "It's happening," I said. The words came out sounding rather dead and emotionless to Owen but my insides were thrashing about, emotions boiling in a stew of terror and resignation. Facing fear is never an easy task but I think it's far worse _knowing_ your greatest fear is about to happen _sometime soon_ but not knowing exactly when. All that time waiting—all that rumination—it's a recipe for emotional disaster. Ulcers at the very least. Sometimes, I envy the ignorant. Ignorance must be bliss. It _must_ be.

Owen had managed an impressive feat of self-restraint when he resisted the urge to pull the phone away from his face and utter a rather appropriate "What the fuck?" at it. He was gripping the phone with clammy hands and was struggling to keep them from shaking. My response told him nothing but he wasn't exactly expecting an epiphany. He felt absurd for feeling this afraid. He'd seen worse after all. He was a warrior, wasn't he? _Screw that_, he thought. _I am a survivor_. "I'm going to the hub." A beat. "See you there?" He'd come to rely on my expert knowledge. He didn't have any answers about why I had it and at this point it really didn't matter. All that did matter was that I had an advantage and he was grateful I was on his side. He had every intention of following my lead.

"Ya. I'll call Jack." My dream of sleeping long enough to be able to have dreams was quickly fading to fantasy.

"Right. I'll get Tosh." His voice was crisp and choppy now. He was crawling away from shock and fear and slowly finding his way back into logic and determination. He was a survivor.

"All right. See you in twenty." I wiped away an errant drop of water as it slowly dripped down my face. My hair was still damp from the bath and I hadn't even thought to get dressed yet. The Ghost Shift was short, lasting only thirty seconds or so—just long enough to freak out the populace. I pressed end on my handset and started towards my bedroom in search of clothes. Before I took four steps it rang again. _Jack or Tosh_, I thought. The chances were fifty-fifty.

I pressed accept and quickly uttered my name in greeting, "Ianto." Quick and brisk. What do they say? Fake it until you make it? Ya, I'm faking it all right. This is me pretending not to freak out. I should be an actor.

**JACK AND I SWEPT THROUGH** the cog-wheel door together. _Well,_ when I say we… Jack swept through the door like a superhero and I just happened to be right next to him when he did it. Tosh was bent over her computer, looking ragged and damp. It looked like she'd been interrupted mid-ablutions as well.

As we swept across the ramp, on our way to her desk, she looked up and searched Jack's face for any of the tell-tail signs that _The-World-Was-About-To-End—again_. Finding nothing concrete in his well-schooled visage she then turned to me looking for her least favorite face of all. She narrowed her eyes slightly and tried to determine whether _The-End-Was-Nigh_—_yet again_.

She frowned. Not enough information. "Owen's…" she began, flicking her hand madly in the air. "He's in your office Jack. He said something about a drink…" Warily, her eyes flicked towards Jack's office and then back again. She looked at Jack with sympathy. At this point, there was no telling what state they'd find Owen in.

Jack leaned over her bent form to get a closer look at her screen then rested a warm hand on her shoulder. He willed _calm and comfort_ through their physical connection. I felt it radiate from him like a warm caress and I wondered how many times he'd done this for his team in the past.

We found Owen in Jack's office, pacing like a caged animal. There were papers on the floor, drawers pulled out and cupboards left hanging. It looked like Owen's search had been unsuccessful. I poked my head around the doorframe. "Owen? I was just about to make some coffee…"

"I don't want any damn coffee!" He shouted and spun around. "I want a fucking drink!" He very nearly bit off the words with a snarl. He met Jack's eyes with a desperate look; he too was searching for a sign.

"Agreed," answered Jack.

I nodded and added quietly, "Sounds like a plan. I'll get a few more glasses." When he finally met my eyes, there was regret and that's the only reason I didn't shoot him. _Prick_.

Jack went straight to his cleverly hidden bottle of Scotch, pulled it and a couple of tumblers out of a drawer and set them down noisily on the desk. Tosh had followed us up and it was at this point that I pulled her in. That's when we finally got down to business.

I gave them the general idea. I explained. About the ghosts that were not actually ghosts. About how the head of Torchwood One, in her quest for power, was unknowingly inviting a Cyberman Invasion force into our very homes.

It seemed to give them some peace of mind. At the very least, Tosh and Owen were aware of what was going on. They didn't even want to go home. Tosh was adamant, "Best we stay off their radar, I say." Then she spun around and promptly resumed her work. And that was all she had to say on the matter.

Owen was freaked. "I'm not bloody sharing my flat with a Cyberman." And that was that. It looked like we would be having a sleep-over for the foreseeable future.

**JACK AND TOSH HAD BEEN WORKING** on the Time-lock device day and night since I'd made the suggestion. Not only did they need something to do but I really wanted to make the hub a bit more secure. There was a lot coming our way. No time like the present.

I'd tried for subtle. I even practiced in the mirror. You know, I don't know why I bother. Subtle doesn't work for me—_ever_.

It went something like this.

"Hey Jack… since we have some time… why don't we install that Time-lock on the hub like you suggested last month?" I stood there thinking I was being _so_ clever, looking busy and distracted. I'd even messed up my hair a bit so I'd look more convincing.

"I never suggested that." Jack frowned, trying to remember the conversation. Tosh shrugged when he looked to her for memory backup. There were confused looks all around. Mine was clearly fake.

"No? Oh, my mistake. I must have been talking to Tosh about it." It sounded great at the time. Really. I almost believed it myself.

One brow rose up quizzically. "_Right_." Sarcastic. "Because you always forget who you were talking to. You have such a _terrible_ memory for details." Really sarcastic. Followed by a snort. "Ianto, do you want me to install a Time-lock on the hub?" Hands on hips and a bit impatient.

"_Er_… Yes. Could you?" I had the decency to look abashed, at least.

"Yes. I could." Getting more patient. "Do I need to?"

"_Er_… Yes. Might come in handy."

Tosh and Owen were watching in silence, their heads rotating back and forth between us. The interchange was comical.

"When might it come in handy? And for what?" His body said he'd given me his full attention and his face said he'd be pursuing this line of inquiry with an unparalleled single-mindedness so I'd may as well spill it. Now-ish.

"_Er_… Soonish would be best."

And the agonizingly slow, teeth-pulling marathon just went on and on. Owen and Tosh must have gotten sore necks with all that rotating.

_Agonizing_.

I'm losing my touch.

Maybe. Maybe I'm not trying as hard as I used to. Maybe I don't like trying to fool him. Maybe I just hate lying to him. It's exhausting. Plus, he's on guard. He's reading into every little thing I say.

I suppose suggesting we install Time Lord technology to safeguard the security of our humble little underground complex is a _tad_ suspicious.

But the alternative is unthinkable.

Before. You know—BEFORE—before… I think Tosh set-up the Time Lock _after_ the Battle of Canary Wharf. In my humble opinion, it would be a lot more effective if we set it up _now_. For efficiency's sake, of course.

**THE GHOST SHIFTS WENT ON** and became more regular, longer in duration even. People started looking forward to it. So many (fools) were waiting with baited breath for their ghost to shimmer into existence before their very eyes. People sat around, drinking tea, munching on nibbles and chatting excitedly with their neighbors and friends.

…

"Oh, dear. Look at the time. I've got to put the kettle on. Granddad will be here in moments!"

…

"It's that time again? Already? I can't wait to see Aunt Sarah!"

…

"Talk to you later!"

…

"Ta!"

…

And they were off. Yes, indeed. Let's put the kettle on. Shall we? Must have tea if we're going to welcome your own personal Cyberman into the kitchen.

_Dear me_.

Keeping silent is murder.

But the insanity didn't stop there. Talk show hosts were bubbling with unbridled joy at the prospect of having some new material to work with. I can just imagine it. Every single member of the crap television industry was sitting up at night imagining new and depraved angles to suck every last torrid drop of grotesque crap-tainment potential from the newest global crisis.

But I digress.

The day started out quite uneventful, not unlike any other day except for the suspicious lack of extra-terrestrial activity. It was down-right eerie. You see, the aliens had all fled. They'd gone weeks ago. _They knew_ there weren't any ghosts. They knew they were in fact, the worst kind of evil. They knew that anyone or anything standing in their way (when the time came) was going to get themselves thoroughly killed. Killed or converted. Take your pick. They're not picky. Not really. They'd convert anything—anything compatible. Any reasonably intelligent biped will serve.

As soon as the ghost shifts began, the plethora of long-term visitors who've lived among us, hiding in plain sight, began an exodus en masse. Those that could, made arrangements, called in favors, begged. The rest… well they went underground. We hadn't seen a Weevil for weeks.

Jack noticed the sudden lack of activity first and as soon as he did, he started getting edgy. There was nothing for days. _Nothing_. And that is rare. There were a few ships but they only stayed long enough to take on passengers. Then they were out of our Solar System so fast… they may have set a few new speed records.

So as you can imagine, with each passing stress-filled-day the hub was starting to feel more like a recently shaken, angry bag of hornets rather than the safe haven we all craved. Yay, boiling bags of stress for everyone.

Between the already high-strung, alcohol dependent, emotionally damaged physician, the socially isolated genius and the alcohol dependent immortal time traveller my days were filled with more 'conflict mediation' and 'shower scheduling' than ever before.

I'd never had slumber parties as a child. But everyone who had insisted they were great fun.

I'd have to disagree.

_Continued in… The Running Away Bit_


	50. C41 The Running Away Bit

_**41. The Running Away Bit**_

**W/C**: 828  
><strong>Warningsspoilers/content**: some profanity, contains a series of mini flash scenes with multiple points of view.  
><strong>Summary<strong>: the running away bit.  
><strong>Characters<strong>: Ianto, Rhi, Johnny, Mrs. Sato, Shuji (Tosh's brother), Alice, Steven, Estelle, Peter (Owen's brother), Sarah (Peter's girlfriend)  
><strong>Ianto's New Timeline<strong>: June 10, 2006

**A/N:** I made Mica (Rhianna Davies' daughter) a bit older than she was in the show to allow for a possible boyfriend fixation (not sure if I'll go there just yet). Originally I had used "Haha" to indicate "Mother" in Japanese but I was given a quick tutorial about the different ways to address people in Japanese by the lovely paulaloveremus (who is awesome) so it's been changed to "Kāsan". Also, I made up names for the other family members.

* * *

><p><strong>SOMETHING PROMPTS ME TO SEND OUT THE CALL.<strong> It wasn't anything in particular. Nothing new happened. It just felt like I'd driven too far down the road. Like I'd passed the turn. Nervousness had congealed into a frenzy that was increasingly difficult to contain. I was pacing and snapping at everyone; my reactions were so unlike me. Ask anyone. So I rounded up the team and gave them the heads up. There was a lot of stunned silence at first, every one standing around waiting for me to do something or say something.

Suddenly, I felt pressure like never before as I realized in that moment, all my friends, our families, all their lives were in my hands. My shaking, twitching hands. _Fuck_. _Shit_. On a stick.

**RHI FELT THE VIBRATION IN HER POCKET**. _Funny_, she thought, _I didn't set my phone on vibr… oh… shit… right_… She turned to her customer, smiled graciously, as graciously as one can when one is in the throes of panic and doom. "I really must be off now, Mrs. Primrose."

She scribbled a quick note to her boss, walked over to his office, smiled a rictus smile, placed the note on his desk and turned abruptly to leave. She grabbed her coat and purse and legged it to the car. The kids were due home in a few hours, which left her with enough time to sort everything out. She stopped by the bank—just in case—bought some ready-made portable dinners from the store on her way home.

Johnny was nowhere to be found when she got home so she panicked a little. While she waited for everyone to arrive back at home she made the rounds to their rooms and grabbed a few of their favorite books and toys for the trip. It was sure to get ugly once they realized they couldn't use the internet or talk on the telephone.

**PETER WAS ON **the toilet. He'd just settled down for a good solid read with his Viz compendium. "_Oh, bother, who is it now? Can't a man have a sh… Oh. Oh!"_ He wrapped up his business with a gusto that was sure to haunt him for the next day or two. He called his boss on the way to his desk. Thankfully he was on another call. He was ever so grateful. He left a really convincing message about his brother having had a near fatal car crash. _Terrible emergency. So sorry. Won't be in for days. Ta._ He went home, packed a bag, unplugged everything in the house that could possibly be unplugged, paced a bit, and then made a sandwich while he waited for his girlfriend to come home from work.

**TOSHIKO'S MUM WAS BUSY IN HER GARDEN** when the secure phone started vibrating and buzzing. She never heard it. It was on the kitchen table though—just as Tosh had insisted—so it was by accident that her younger brother noticed it when he came home from school. He carried it outside to the garden, so he could ask why it was buzzing. "What does _GO NOW_ mean mum?" She made a few unladylike sounds and shook the soil off her clothes. By the look on her face, he knew it was important. "Good boy. Thank you for being so observant," she praised him. Then she dragged him to his room so he could pack a bag.

**JACK'S DAUGHTER HAD GROWN UP WITH TORCHWOOD** weirdness and emergencies popping up forever in the background. She was trained to be on guard. At all times. Alice hadn't taken me seriously when we spoke but she had conceded to carry it with her, for her son's sake. She called the school and told them to get Steven ready, as she would be picking him up early today. Her heartbeat never sped up, she never frowned, never broke a sweat, she just went through the motions as always. She was a warrior. She would do what she had to, to keep him safe. She wrapped a few sharp knives in a blanket and stuffed a can of mace into her purse. You just never know.

**ESTELLE WAS ENJOYING THE SUNSHINE,** a rarity these days. She was delighted when I called to remind her to check her special phone thingy. She laughed and said she'd forgotten all about it. She felt a little guilty though, for making me call her so she quickly readied herself and made her way to the post box.

* * *

><p><em>Continued in… Road Trip<em>


	51. C42 Road Trip

**_42. Road Trip_**

**W/C**: 1940  
><strong>Warningsspoilers/content**: some profanity and short scenes from multiple points of view  
><strong>Summary<strong>: their friends and family head to the safe house.  
><strong>Characters<strong>: Ianto, Rhi, Johnny, Mrs. Sato, Shuji (Tosh's brother), Alice, Steven, Estelle, Peter (Owen's brother), Sarah (Peter's girlfriend)  
><strong>Ianto's New Timeline<strong>: June 10, 2006

**A/N:** I made Mica (Rhianna Davies' daughter) a bit older than she was in the show to allow for a possible boyfriend fixation (not sure if I'll go there just yet). Originally I had used "Haha" to indicate "Mother" in Japanese but I was given a quick tutorial about the different ways to address people in Japanese by the lovely paulaloveremus (who is awesome) so it's been changed to "Kāsan". Also, I made up names for the other family members.

* * *

><p><strong>ALICE HAD BOTH HANDS FIRMLY <strong>on the wheel and her eyes trained on absolutely _everything_—the road, the traffic, her unknown passenger named Estelle and her son, who was sitting quietly in the back seat. The two women did their best to evaluate each other—without seeming like it of course because _that_ would be rude.

Alice sighed, _normal social rules don't apply here_, she reminded herself. Not when Torchwood was involved. She had to protect herself and her son. Nothing else mattered. The awkward silence was starting to get to her though. Might as well make nice. Otherwise, it was going to be a very long trip.

"So," she began, her voice light and almost cheery sounding, "how do you know Jack?"

Estelle smiled and turned towards Alice before answering. "Oh, well… I was in a relationship with Jack's father many years ago."

Alice felt her face blanch. She tightened her knuckles around the steering wheel a little tighter, until they were white and bloodless and she hoped she didn't look as shocked as she felt. She remained silent, unsure of how to respond to that.

Estelle continued quietly, "We fell in love before the war." She sighed, "We were s..so in love." Her voice seemed to crack a little as she retold a story that she had thought of so many times before. "But then the war happened and he did his duty." She sat quietly for a moment with her hands clasped on her lap. "We lost touch."

"I see." Good god. Couldn't the man keep it in his pants? How many siblings did she have? It was hard to think kindly about him. She had so much anger bottled up. So much…disappointment. Apparently, she wasn't the only one.

"Jack came to me several years ago now. He said his father had spoken at length of me and he wanted to make sure that I was doing okay. It was so sweet of him. He's such a good boy."

Alice cleared her throat. "That's…nice of him."

"Yes, he's a lovely young man. _So_ like his father." Estelle's face was transformed by her radiant smile and her voice, her voice sounded so…fond.

Alice had to refocus her attention on the road lest she cause an accident. "Yes," she agreed, trying not to fall into hysterical laughter, "he's the spitting image isn't he?" She allowed herself a secret grin.

"Yes. Oh my, it was startling at first. But Jack isn't as… light-hearted as his father was." She paused, thinking back to those wonderful days. "I fear he is carrying many burdens on his heart. Sometimes, it really shows. I don't know what happened to him in the past but there's a look in his eyes, a sadness."

They sat in silence for a while, each with their own spinning thoughts, both thinking of Jack. Strange how different their experiences were with the man and yet they'd been brought together just the same.

Estelle came out of her silent musings once again. She felt a little silly, sliding in and out of memories like that. But it was so easy. And so nice to remember those times. She sighed, "We always talk about me and my life but never about him. It's strange. I try so hard to get him to open up. But he won't talk about his father. And when he looks at our old photographs there is such pain in his eyes." She looked right at Alice and then added, "He seems so lonely, don't you think?"

She was met with silence which was a little surprising but they were strangers after all. She tried a different tactic, "How do you know Jack dear?"

"We're family."

"Oh, I see." She smiled, hoping Alice would add a little bit more to her answer.

"He's my…brother." She wished she could tell her the truth. It pained her to lie to this kind old woman.

"Oh my, I didn't know he had a sister!" Estelle couldn't help the shock in her voice but she had to admit she was glad he had some family.

"Yes," she added quickly, "we had different fathers though." _Damn you Jack, you always complicate things. You always make me lie._

"I see." Did she? She wasn't sure. They certainly shared a family resemblance and they were both heavily laden with a burden from their past that left them haunted. The evidence lay in her eyes. "Mmmm…is he a good uncle?"

"He tries. To be. But we've had such a strained relationship. It's hard." Estelle took in the clenched jaw, the clenched hands, the bunched up shoulders and just felt plain badly for them.

"And why is that dear?" she asked, not unkindly and sat back in her seat for what she figured would be a long wait. She wasn't wrong.

Alice thought about her answer carefully. Several minutes of silence passed before she found the right words. "It's a very long story. Mostly, to do with our…mother. I wish it were different but there's so much anger between us." Hmm. That wasn't true. Was it? She quickly corrected herself, "Well, actually he doesn't really feel angry towards me at all. So, I guess it's all my fault. Mine and my mother's." Damn. It sounded terrible when she said it out loud. It sounded so…petty.

"Oh. That's a shame," she said, sounding both sad and knowing.

"Yes, it is," she agreed tightly and they both heard the remorse in her words.

**SHUJI LOVED SITTING **in the front seat, especially on a road trip. He always felt so grown up sitting next to the driver. "HAHA, where are we going?

"I don't know exactly," she answered distractedly, "We just need to follow the GPS."

"But why?" He tried not to whine.

"Why…what?" Her mind was busy trying to recall every conversation she and Toshiko had ever had regarding this _emergency_. The nice young man that had visited them had seemed so confident and kind. She had really liked him. She hoped that he and Toshiko were friends. At the time, she hadn't really believed that they would ever have to use their emergency plan.

"Why did we have to leave?"

"Because…I'm not exactly sure but Toshiko said it was important—very important—and she's very clever."

"Yes," he agreed, "she's brilliant!"

"Yes, she is and we must trust her to keep us safe."

"From what?"

"I'm not sure."

"Oh, well. At least we're having an adventure."

**"PETER, WHERE THE **hell are we going?"

"I don't know."

"What?! And you're still going to follow his instructions blindly?" Her screeching was painfully loud as it bounced around the inside of the car and then the inside of his head.

"Yes," he sighed, "I am."

"I can't believe you!" She sat there fuming, boiling inside with hatred and suspicion. She hated his brother. _He was a nasty fucker. Totally unreliable. Completely fucked up. So, his wife died. It happens! It didn't mean he could be a dick for the rest of his life. Sometimes, Peter was such a push over. She didn't even know why she bothered…_

Peter was reaching _that point_ where he'd had enough of her nastiness, the point of getting out before she dragged him down with her.

They may have had their share of problems but Owen was his _brother_. He was _family_. He'd always been there for Peter, no matter what. He trusted Owen. And this was…a strange situation for sure but it seemed really important to follow the instructions. He knew Owen worked for some kind of shady government agency regardless of what Owen said. Everybody knew about Torchwood anyways. It was one of the worst kept secrets in the whole of Cardiff. He could have sworn that he saw him get out of that black SUV last month. It had to be him. And if so…well, _they_ dealt with weird shit…everybody knew that…and that meant this was really bad and probably really weird. He checked his mirrors and then the map and tried to guess what weird shit they'd be facing tomorrow.

**RHI HAD A** solid grip on the wheel, her gaze flickering from the side mirror to the rear view every few seconds. Johnny sat between their two frightened children in the back seat, a protective arm slung around each.

Their eyes met briefly in the rear view mirror before her eyes darted nervously to the side mirror again.

Johnny pitched his voice low so as not to waken the children but high enough so she could hear him, "Do you want to switch for a while love?" He waited for her reply.

She thought about his offer and was about to agree when she caught herself. Her thoughts were racing, driven by paranoia and fear. She was on edge, her body poised for a fight, leaving very little room for rational thought. She knew she was acting a bit crazy but she couldn't ease off just yet. They still has so far to go.

She'd relax when they got there. She felt guilty for leaving Johnny out in the cold, lost in the dark without a clue about what was happening. Meeting his eyes in the mirror, she shook her head and smiled apologetically. "No thank you my love. Maybe at the next rest stop?" She was grateful when he smiled back at her. It felt good to be understood.

* * *

><p><em>TW Ianto's Journal TW Ianto's Journal TW <em>

* * *

><p>It's hard to explain our relationship. We're brother and sister sure but there has always been an extra, unseen element, one that most people didn't notice or if they did they actually pretended they didn't see it. I know that she trusts me, that she's come to value and trust that extra something. And I'm grateful for that. It's come to our rescue too many times to count. By this point, it's almost impossible to ignore. I'm just so glad she trusts me. She didn't even question the page. I feel so… grateful.<p>

I can _save_ them.

I know I can.

**To do:** save the world

**Not to do:** Freak out

* * *

><p><em>TW Ianto's Journal TW Ianto's Journal TW <em>

* * *

><p><em>Continued in… Home Away from Home<em>_  
><em>


	52. C43 Home Away From Home

_**43 - Home Away from Home**_

**W/C**: 1940  
><strong>Warningsspoilers/content**: some profanity  
><strong>Summary<strong>: the ghosts finally appear .  
><strong>Characters<strong>: Ianto, Rhi, Mrs. Sato, Owen's brother, immortal-Jack  
><strong>Ianto's New Timeline<strong>: June 10, 2006 + several weeks

* * *

><p><strong>AS SOON AS RHI<strong> switched places with Johnny she began texting me. I can't even describe how relieved I was when I received the first one. I don't know why I didn't just try and text her myself. I guess I'd already accepted the fact that I wouldn't be able to talk to her again, for weeks most likely.

[Ianto 3:42PM]

When you get there go down to the cellar. Leave the upstairs lights off. Go into the safe room during the ghost shifts and don't make a sound until they end.

[Rhi 4:12PM]

Okay. We will. Don't worry. We're half way there. Johnny's driving now.

[Ianto 4:14PM]

Good. Remember you have to stay under the radar.

[Rhi 4:15PM]

We will. Don't worry!

[Ianto 4:16PM]

Impossible

[Rhi 4:17PM]

TRY HARDER

[Ianto 4:18PM]

Yes mother

[Rhi 7:56PM]

We're almost there. What should we do next?

[Ianto 8:04PM]

Thank god! Once you get there don't use your mobile. Make sure everyone turns them off. They're traceable. To be safe, don't use any electronics during the ghost shift. We think they're drawn to radio waves, electromagnetic energy signatures, satellite feeds and things like that. They could track you to the source.

[Rhi 7:56PM]

Okay. But how will we communicate?

[Ianto 8:06PM]

There's a hard line setup and a fax with a few 'special' security measures. It's secure. You can send and receive messages. It should be safe. Just don't tell anyone where you are.

[Rhi 8:11PM]

I'm really scared Ianto

[Ianto 8:12PM]

I know Rhi. So am I. You will be alright.

[Ianto 8:15PM]

By the way, there will be other people joining you.

[Rhi 8:18PM]

Friends?

[Ianto 8:19PM]

Friends and family

[Rhi 8:21PM]

I understand. I'll do my best.

[Ianto 8:23PM]

Thank you. I love you.

[Rhi 8:25PM]

I love you too. Gotta go. We're here.

**WHEN THEY FINALLY** got there, it was dark and shockingly quiet. The house was big, sprawling, and surrounded by ancient trees with a small creek bubbling away just a few meters from the house. It was eerie, especially for people raised in a loud, busy city. They used the key that I had left for them and carried the supplies into the house. It struck Rhi suddenly that no one spoke while they did so. She was glad that the kids and Johnny were used to trusting uncle Ianto and forgiving me my idiosyncrasies. She handed out torches to her family and led them into their new, albeit temporary home.

**ONE BY ONE**, Rhi watched as the other cars trickled in. She took it upon herself to greet them, reassure them where she could. Everyone was tense and wary but they all seemed to understand why they were there to a certain extent. Honestly, there was only one person who was hostile and that was Sarah, Peter's girlfriend,. Jack's sister was a little scary but she seemed kind enough. They settled into their rooms quickly and then spent the next several weeks getting to know each other.

The only question was, could seven adults, three children and a rebellious teenager manage to stay off the radar?

* * *

><p><em>Continued in… Hail Mary<em>


	53. C44 Hail Mary

**_44 - Hail Mary _**

**W/C**: 2700  
><strong>Warningsspoilers/content**: some profanity and be warned that this is basically an angsty stream of consciousness. There are also references to DW-Army of Ghosts  
><strong>Summary<strong>: Ianto struggles to deal with this by himself.  
><strong>Characters<strong>: Ianto, Rhi, Mrs. Sato, Owen's brother, immortal-Jack  
><strong>Ianto's New Timeline<strong>: June 29, 2006  
><strong>AN:** The closer we get to the climax the shorter (maybe) and well, weird the chapters will be. Things are happening quickly and in many locations. There is a sudden shift in tense near the start of this chapter. Yes, it is on purpose. So if it seems choppy, sorry about that but please just go with it ;)

* * *

><p><strong>THE GHOST SHIFTS<strong> had been running like clockwork for weeks now. I… I couldn't take it—the waiting, the tension—I was ready to snap. I'd done everything I could. Everything I could think of.

_Oh, god, please let me have done everything that I could. Please let it be enough_.

We were really glad when Tosh finally finished arming the hub with a Time-Lock. Between her and Jack, it had taken weeks of solid work. Now unfortunately, she found herself surprisingly empty handed. She didn't have near enough to keep her hands busy or to keep her mind focussed. She could only handle so much of Owen, and she'd already seen more of Jack and I than she ever cared to. Without a project, she was getting antsy but she absolutely refused to leave the hub for any reason.

Owen was sexually frustrated, running out of acceptable porn, booze and beyond snippy. He wouldn't leave the hub either. It was no good. And it was only going to get worse.

Jack was on full-alert. He knew it was coming. I knew it was coming. There was nothing we could do. So Jack just did what Jack did. When in doubt: sex, booze and food. Rinse lather and repeat.

The tension in the hub was almost unbearable.

_It wasn't, _ I reminded myself.

I remembered unbearable. I remembered it clearly. **_That_** had really been unbearable. _Then_. When they'd killed her. **_That_** had been truly unbearable. An unbearable situation. Impossible. And I bore it.

I could do **_this_**.

**I WANTED TO CALL HIM—**The Doctor. I wanted to call him with all my heart. I needed to call him. But what would I say? Come quick, the world is ending—again. Come quick, _my world_ is ending. Come quick, the last thread to my last life is about to end. Come quick, I'm a fool. Come quick, _help me_.

There was a cloud forming, above and around my head. It was dark. And so very heavy. The weight of it, it felt like it was going to kill me. I'd never felt so afraid.

**_Yes, I have_**.

Right. Well, I've never felt so… _alone_.

**_Yes, I have_**.

I've handled so much already, mostly on my own. I could feel myself becoming more and more depressed and anxious to the point of near panic attacks. But I had to keep my mind focussed. I had things to do, important things and people were depending on me. It still felt so heavy, my burden and often just thinking about it left me sleepless.

**FINALLY, THE TENSION SNAPS** like an abused violin string pulled too tight for too long and I find myself dialing his number—while standing on a roof no less. Jack has obviously rubbed off on me. I hold my phone up, as far as my arm will stretch, trying to get better reception. I catch myself then, scoff aloud bitterly, thinking, _universal roaming, you idiot_.

He answers, after too many rings.

At first, I forget to speak. By that point, I'm just managing to remember to breathe.

"Ianto? That you?" I blink out of it.

"Yes, Doctor." I swallow, trying to moisten my mouth. "I need… I need you." My voice is quiet, I think maybe he doesn't hear me.

"Ianto? Tell me… what's happening?" I hear fear. _He knows. He must know_. I can hear her, in the background. I hear her voice. It's so lovely and my eyes are suddenly burning. My hand comes up by itself and I wipe at my cheek. They're only tears. It's nothing.

When I don't answer, he adds, "What have you done?" He waits just long enough to take a breath and then he admonishes, "don't _do anything_." He's pleading. _He must know_. "For goodness sakes, don't _change_ anything."

"Too late." Two little words. They should've been said by now. So many times. Now, they're subtext. Assumed. It's far too late. The cloud's getting darker. Christ, I'm so cold. Numb to the core.

I remember that I'm on a roof. _Of course I'm fucking cold_. I've got to shake my head, try to clear the muddled cloud away and then I slide down to the ground next to an electrical box. I wrap my coat around me, so tight it hurts. It's hard to keep my eyes open. I'm so tired and the tears are burning. No matter, there's not much to see from here anyways and I'm distracted by the pain that's pounding behind my eyes. I try though, I squint so I can focus on the darkened sky overhead. The moon's suddenly over-bright and the stars above are mere blobs of light. When I look down, over the edge everything else is just blurry.

Finally, after an uncomfortable pause, he speaks. I can hear his breathing. "What have you done?" he asks again but this time it's so very quiet, just a whisper. Then, he changes his mind. "No. Don't tell me!" Now, I'm certain. He's very afraid. I can still hear her. She sounds less bubbly now though. She must have seen his fear. She's speaking louder now and she's asking him what's wrong. I wonder if she knows it's me. After a few quiet moments, the Doctor changes his mind yet again and this time he presses, more urgently, "Ianto, what's _happened_?"

I sigh. It's ragged and drawn out and I notice that my throat's burning. I need to tell him what I've been thinking. He's really the only one I could ever tell. I realize it then. I suppose I've known all along. He's the only one I can really talk to. He's the only one that can help me. "The timeline. It's changed. I already changed it. Just by being alive. _I've_ changed it." God, I'm gasping, I'm trying to stay calm, I really am, I'm trying not to panic. A flash of movement below catches my eye. I look down from up on my roof. In the middle of the street I see a coat flapping in the wind. I hear it snap. He's found me. _At last_. I won't be alone for much longer.

After such a long pause, that I think we've been disconnected, the Doctor finally answers me. "I _understand_," he says softly, kindly, as is his way. There's a clenching near where my heart should be, a deep cutting pain. It only intensifies when I fully realize that he _doesn't_. He doesn't understand. Not really. He's just trying to make me feel better, soothe me, gentle me like a wild animal. I must seem like that. It's terrible. It's unfair.

How can he be so calm? He wouldn't, if he knew. Could he? Could he know about her. How could he know and not _do_ anything? No. The Doctor lies but not this time. Not about this. It's not possible. He can't be that cold. Or that strong. No one could. Of that, at least I'm certain.

"Tons of things have changed. Small things. Big things." I start talking faster. I have to get it all out. Jack's on his way up. "I'm supposed to be working at Torchwood One. I'm supposed… I'm supposed to _be there_."

"Oh, _I see_." In retrospect, I have to admit he was being extraordinarily patient. I know he wants me to tell him. And at the same time, he's so afraid that I will. I know that feeling, well enough for two lifetimes. "Are you safe?" he asks. I know he's concerned, I can hear it in his voice, and in between the silences as well.

"For now. I'm safe right now. But that's going to change very soon." I take a chance. I break all the rules. I speak quickly just in case he hangs up after all. "The ghosts—they aren't ghosts Doctor." I say the words so fast that he can't stop me. "You need to be careful. We need you." I hesitate. I know all about Rose. How he loses her. My guts are churning, the pain, deep and stabbing. "It's **_them_**." I don't say the words. I don't need to. He will know. "There's going to be an invasion." I whisper. I know I'm not supposed to say this. I'm just supposed to be silent and suck it up. I'm supposed to be strong. To deal with it. _Alone_.

He sounds strange when he answers. "Well. That's… interesting." She's standing right there. So close. I can still hear her in the background, her lovely sing song voice, so happy. I wonder again if he knows.

"Do you… do you foresee reality collapsing anytime in the near future?" I'm trying to sound light but I'm definitely failing. We've had this conversation before.

"Not that I can see." He doesn't sound convinced. Not at all.

I can feel the anger building. _Anger is better than fear_. "Are you LOOKING?" I sound harsh, accusing.

"Trying not to actually," He mutters. I know it's because she's there. Listening and watching. I think, for the most part, he just avoids the things he doesn't want to see. I wonder if any of us have the power to change anything. _God, I hope he does_.

"Well. Stop. That. Open your eyes already!" I need him. I need him to help us. To help himself. To help her. But I know he probably won't and it feels like it's slowly killing me.

"Ianto," he chides. "Don't be daft." His lilting voice is full of affection and so very patient. The tears fall faster. "Things happen for a reason. Sometimes, there's no changing them."

"I know. I know that. But I know so much. Too much." A deep shudder wracks my body. It keeps going, winding its way through my chest. It feels like something's wrapped itself around my heart. I feel it _squeeze_ and for a minute I can't take a breath. "I'm ready to drop my basket, here. _Doctor_… _please_." I'm so alone. Up on that roof. But not for long because Jack's coming up the stairs.

"What else can you tell me?" he urges. He has to know. _Why doesn't he already know?_

I hear metal grinding against metal as Jack pries open the gate at the top of the stairs. He does it loudly, too loudly, so I know it's him.

"I can't. Right now. I'm under constant surveillance." I'm almost laughing as hard as I'm crying.

"Enemies?" He sounds concerned.

I reassure him. "No, my coworkers."

"Hmm," he huffs, "Bloody _Torchwood_."

"I hear that a lot." I'm so tense. I know Jack can finally hear me. Even though he's keeping his distance. I'm sure he knows who I'm talking to. _Who else would I call from a roof top?_

"Do you want to meet me?" I hear her again. In the background. She's eager to see me. Excited.

"Yes. God, yes." Relief floods over me. It doesn't stop the tears though and for a moment, I think of how I must look and I feel the fool.

"Alrighty." He tries to sound chipper again. Damn him. He's such a good liar. "Then, I'll… _we'll_… be over in a jiff." She's chiding him in the background for his improper use of pronouns.

"Thank you. See you soon." I take a deep breath and mentally prepare myself to face Jack.

"Yes," he says then I hear a rather loud _Click. _He's hung up.

I stay like that a moment longer, just staring out at the blurry skyline, remembering to breathe. Jack remains silent but he comes closer. He sits down beside me, shoulder to shoulder. I feel his hand slide across my lower back, gentle, tentative. He's not sure what to do.

I carefully put my phone back into my pocket. Clear my throat. Wipe my face. Jack shifts even closer. "You okay?" he murmurs. He knows I'm not. He must. I don't know why people ask that question. _I'm not. I'm really not_.

I shake my head. I don't open my mouth. I don't want to risk shouting—ranting—railing—I can't risk it right now. My jaw's tightly clenched. I really can't see a way out. Actually, I think there may be only one way. But I don't want it to be that one.

I stay quiet. Besides, Jack speaks enough for both of us. "You disappeared. I was worried. I went to your flat. You weren't there. I tracked your signal." He wraps his arms around me, lends me his heat. Holds me close. I think I can feel his heart wrap around me too. It feels incredibly good. I lean into him. "You into roofs now?" he says jokingly and then looks over the edge, quite dramatically.

I try not to react but it's not worth the effort. "Ya." I snort. I try to smile even but it's a pitiful attempt.

"What can I do?" He wants to help. I know he does. He wants to carry this for me. I wish he would. I wish he could.

"I don't know. Nothing." I close my eyes. Lean against him. This is the best I've felt all day.

"Are we waiting—" His question is cut off by my phone. It's the Doctor's ring tone. I answer quickly and he goes still.

"Yes?"

"There seems to be a problem." His voice is tight and he sounds angry, frustrated.

I can feel my heart beginning to speed up again, pounding violently against my rib cage. "Is it serious?" _Please. Please. Please._ I'm ready to beg.

"Yesss." There's a hard edge to that single word. "The _TARDIS_. _Is—not—responding_." He sounds very angry. Like he's about ready to explode.

I try to take a deep breath, the way my therapist taught me but then the word is torn loudly from my mouth. _"What?"_ I screech, unable to hide my disbelief. I feel Jack shift next to me. I know he can hear both sides of the conversation.

"She won't land. She won't _let me_." He's trying to explain. Without saying it aloud. There are people listening. On both sides.

"I see." I sigh; it's a long terrible sound. It's full of burgeoning tears, leading inevitably to uncontrollable sobbing, and somewhere in there some basket dropping of catastrophic proportions. "Oh, dear," I add for good measure.

"Yes." He agrees. I know he's good and terrified now. "My thoughts exactly." He's exerting an inordinate amount of will, just to stay calm. Well, to appear to stay calm.

"So. I'm on my own then?" _I always was_.

"For now." He's trying to sound reassuring. "I'll get back to you. As soon as I can."

"I know. I'll see you soon then." _Sooner than you think._ I press the end button. I forgot to say goodbye but I'm not thinking of him anymore. I'm thinking of her.

Jack grips me with all his might while I fall to pieces.

* * *

><p><em>Continued in… Seeking Absolution<em>


	54. C45 Absolution

_**45 - Absolution**_

**W/C**: 1000ish  
><strong>Warningsspoilers/content**: some profanity and be warned that this is basically an angsty stream of consciousness delivered in the present tense.  
><strong>Summary<strong>: Ianto meets with his mentor  
><strong>Characters<strong>: Ianto, DI Donaldson  
><strong>Ianto's New Timeline<strong>: June 30, 2006  
><strong>AN: ***sniffle*

* * *

><p><strong>WE ALWAYS MEET<strong> here. It's a safe place. I've eaten lunch at this picnic table, in _our_ park so many times. Today, it feels cold and less inviting than it usually does. I think I must be crazy. He's a cop. He's not going to understand. I shouldn't tell him this. I _definitely_ shouldn't. But I…need to. I need him to understand. I think I need absolution. From him. My second father.

I've tried to convince him to take a leave of absence for a few weeks, to join my special group of people in the wilderness. He won't. He won't even hear me out. I suppose I'm not really surprised but I had to try. He says it's his duty to protect and serve. I understand. That's who he is.

After a few uncomfortably tense moments I finally manage to find my words. I tell him that I have to do something horrible. That I have a debt I have to repay.

"A debt to whom? And why do you say it's horrible?" He sounds concerned and rightly so. It must sound pretty ominous. And I must look even worse.

"I have to kill someone," I confess, just above a whisper.

"There's a long, long pause. Then, "Is it a bad person?"

"No. She's not yet. She's innocent. Now. But she will be converted against her will."

"Like brainwashing?"

"Yes, much like that except—it's not reversible. She'll be turned into a killing machine, quite literally. And her death will be long, and drawn out. The worst torture imaginable. She'll be trapped inside her head."

He looks at me for what feels like a really long time and at first the look on his face is **_shock_** but then it transforms into… **_disbelief_**. I can't blame him. It does sound fucking unbelievable, even to me. My heart's pounding uncomfortably and I'm finding it hard to do anything but gasp and pant tiny breathfuls of air every few seconds. I keep forgetting to breathe which is a real problem because I have a lot of other things on my mind and I'm pretty sure those things are supposed to be autonomic. I expect that shortly he'll shift over to **_anger_** or **_rejection_**. I keep watching because I know his mind moves quickly. He's very clever and he knows me well. There it is…his eyes are changing and face is relaxing and he's leaning towards me. "So you're going to…put her out of her misery?"

Then I look at him for…for forever it seems. My mouth must be hanging open by this point. I don't know. "Yes," I say and it's clear that I can't fathom how he can just…just accept the batshit crazy things I say.

"I see."

"_You do_?" I look into his solemn, soulful eyes, searching for something that makes sense, some form of judgement but that's not what I see. He looks exactly like he always does. He's open and kind and it's very clear that he loves me, no matter what.

"Yes, I do. You're a good man, Ianto." He steps forward and grips my shoulders in his massive hands. "Much better than most. I trust your instincts. I trust you to know the right thing to do. You care deeply. I know you do. It takes a strong person to do something so… difficult for someone they care about. If I ever get turned into a zombie, I expect you'll do the right thing by me as well." He smirks, the bastard smirks while I'm having a fucking panic attack.

I've got to shake my head, I can't believe him. How is he even real? The sigh, when it comes, is a full body one and I can feel the tension draining from my limbs. "You always know just what to say…" And I mean it. I mean it so much. I don't know what I ever did without him in my life. He saved me. So many times that I've lost count.

"I'm proud of you my boy. Now, stay safe." And that's it. Then, he just starts walking me to my car and the arm he's got wrapped around my shoulder makes me feel so safe that I could cry all over him.

"You too, Inspector. I really wish you'd reconsider my offer—"

"No-no," he cuts me off before I can even begin. "You know I can't run away. I have a job to do. I can do good here."

"Yes, of course you can but… I just want you safe." Damn, my voice has started to waver.

"I've never been safe," he tells me. "That's the job. I've always known that."

I nod. I know. He's right of course. "Thank you for seeing me. I really needed to see you. To talk to you. Your opinion means…the world to me. I hope you know that?" The words tumble out of my mouth a little too fast.

"Good. I'm glad," he smiles warmly and again he makes me feel safe. "You're all right, Ianto. Remember that. You are all right. Better than." He gives me a bear hug that threatens the structural integrity of my ribs and I hug him right back. "Follow your instincts and you'll be fine."

"Thank you, Sir."

"You're welcome but I didn't really do anything."

"Yes, you did." I give him my very best smile. "Be safe, Inspector."

"I will. We'll talk after this is all done. And maybe you'll finally have an interesting story to tell me—you know the _real_ one—after all this time?"

I can't help wincing. I know I owe him a story. I nod and salute for good measure. "Yes, we'll talk soon."

_I love you._

I think these words practically every time I talk to him and I want to say them out loud but I haven't. I tell myself that it never seems to be the right time. But I'm pretty sure that's exactly what a coward would tell himself.


	55. C46 A Mission of Mercy

_**46 - A Mission of Mercy**_

**W/C**: 1100ish  
><strong>Warningsspoilers/content**: some profanity and be aware that this is basically a present tense stream of consciousness. Also, you might need some tissues soon...  
><strong>Summary<strong>: Ianto asks for help  
><strong>Characters<strong>: Ianto, Owen  
><strong>Ianto's New Timeline<strong>: June 30, 2006  
><strong><br>**

* * *

><p><strong>I NEED TO<strong> get back to the hub. I have a few things to take care of before The End is Nigh—_again_.

When I get back, I find Owen messing around in his little pit of depravity, now known as The Porn Hub or The Gaming Center, depending on whom you ask. Tosh has apparently claimed the shower room as her sole domain for the next hour and a half and Jack is down in long term storage searching for some kind of alien artifact. He's been muttering about finding some kind of toy for the last few days. He keeps telling me that I'll be able to 'appreciate it' better than most people which just makes me nervous. And it also leaves no doubt in my mind that it's some kind of sex toy.

I figure I have enough time to talk to Owen without anyone overhearing. I distractedly bite my lip and my mind races as I make my way down the stairs, the cool rough surface of the railing helps draws my attention back to my body. God, I'm so fucking tense. So damned tired. I can't help wonder how much more of this I can take before I simply crack. Something has to give, and soon.

"Hi Owen," I begin a little tentatively.

"Mmm," he grunts, not looking up from his screen.

"I…I need your help with something." I think it might be best if I test out his mood before I go any further.

"What do you need, Ianto?" He's obviously busy but he doesn't sound any more annoyed than usual.

"I need you to make up a couple of syringes. For me."

"Ya?" he asks, finally looking up from his screen. "What do you need?" He gives me a quizzical look , probably thinking of all the times I've failed to tell him the whole story. Well, he's right to be wary, I guess. "And _why_?" he adds. Predictably curious.

This is going to be tricky. I knew it would be. But it's now or never if I want his help. Either that or I do it myself. But what if I fuck up the dosage? I don't even want to think about that.

"I need something like… an anaesthetic, something strong to block out severe pain and to…knock them unconscious. And…and also… something that'll stop someone's heart." I take a deep breath and then add, "I need to _help_ someone."

Owen's head swings up sharply. He looks shocked and more than a little suspicious of my request but at least he's finally giving me his full attention. "Someone? Who exactly are we talking about?"

"A friend." I press my lips together and clasp my hands together carefully in front of my body. I can't think of anything else to do with them and I don't want to fidget.

Owen takes a few steps towards me. Now, he's looking more concerned than ever. "Why'd you want to stop your friend's heart?" he asks evenly. It must be one of those special doctor skills, saying ridiculous things like that with a straight face. He pulls it off well.

"She's dying," I explain. I'm only a few feet away from him by now, standing right in the center of the room. "And in _pain_," I add.

When he doesn't say anything I tell him the gut-wrenching truth, my voice pitched like a whisper, "I thought it would be the kindest thing."

He frowns and his face creases up. "**_Saving_** her would be kinder," he snaps sharply.

I shake my head. "S'not possible." I have to clench my eyes shut for a second and shake the image from my mind's eye. Now is _not_ the time to break down—not yet, not yet, not yet…

"Believe me," I beg, "It's not… po-s-sible." My voice brakes and my throat feels like it'll close up for good. I _have_ to keep it together.

"I see." And perhaps he does. He stares at me and his eyes feel like they're drilling into my soul. To be fair, it feels like my body is one giant exposed nerve, and everything's pretty close to the surface so I wouldn't be surprised if he can see right through it.

He moves slowly, shuffling his feet while we talk. He tries to get me to share a little more information about my _friend_. I tell him some things about her, general things, little things and then pleasant things that we used to do together. I tell him about _her_, what she was like. And god it _hurts_. He must see this, it's probably plain to see on my face, because he stops talking, stops asking questions and just squeezes my shoulder. I don't think he's ever done that before. It's nice. And terrifying.

I watch quietly while he digs around in the cooler for what we need. He places a couple of vials on a sterile tray before he looks at me again. He makes sure I'm looking back and then in the strangest voice, one I've never heard him use before, he says, "You've saved a lot of people already, Ianto."

He's frowning, obviously trying to figure me out. But it's more than that, I think. He's struggling for words. He has something he needs to say. "I _owe_ you. For my brother," and then after a quick beat he rolls his eyes, "and his troll of a girlfriend," he adds reluctantly. "And even if I didn't owe you, I'd _still_ help you. I don't know how you know these things," he shakes his head in frustration, "but we can see how much it takes _out_ of you. We, **_I _**want to help— however I can. I would really like it if you'd let me. Help that is."

"This helps," I tell him quickly.

He kind of tilts his head, like he doesn't quite believe me.

I nod and try to explain. "It really does. I need to do this, Owen. I need to keep my promise. I have a debt to repay. And I have to do it soon. So, this? This _really_ helps me."

"Okay. Alright. Uhm. Good. I'm glad." He turns away from the awkward, unfamiliar emotions that feel like they're drowning him and busies himself with making up the two syringes. I thought I would have to do this by myself. I thought I'd have to figure this out somehow—the drugs, the dose.

"How much does she weigh?" he asks, effectively halting my racing thoughts.

"About 120 pounds." I hope so. I haven't seen her...since. I'd better check. "Is that precise enough? I can check. Just a minute."

I run to the nearest terminal and bring up her file. She's 124 pounds so I tell him that while I discretely erase my search history. But he's not stupid, not by a long shot so I know he'll check. If he asks Tosh, they'll be able to find it easily enough but it won't be easy on his own.

Once again, I have to lie. And I hate this fucking secret. It keeps me apart from everyone I care about. But I can't think of any other way.

I'm on my own. I always was. In the end, we all are, aren't we?.

But I'd half convinced myself that at least I wouldn't be so alone until then. I guess I was wrong. This is the only way.


	56. C47 First to Fall

**_47 - First To Fall_**

**W/C**: 2200ish  
><strong>Warningsspoilers/content**: some profanity and be warned that this is basically a present tense stream of consciousness. There are also references to DW-Army of Ghosts.  
><strong>Summary<strong>: The shit hits the fan  
><strong>Characters<strong>: Ianto, Tosh, Owen, immortal-Jack  
><strong>Ianto's New Timeline<strong>: June 30, 2006  
><strong>AN: **more sniffles

* * *

><p><strong><em>"<em>****_GOVERNMENT BUILDINGS_**_—__including police stations and hospitals were among their first targets." _

Of course, they were. The newsfeed plays in a relentless loop and images flash in the little window hovering to the left of the main police alert system. We have different feeds streaming on every screen in the hub. All we can do is watch.

_"__The death toll is expected to be high."_

The first thing I do is call him. I call every number he has and when I do a trace on his mobile there's no sign of it in the UK—never mind Cardiff.

_"__Rescue workers are combing through the rubble in search of survivors."_

I look at the screen in front of me—the local news—and there are those images flashing in the background—behind the reporter—the surrounding area—our park where we used to have lunch—just met—just spoke—destroyed, torn up—then they flash to the nearest Police Station—the landscape is familiar but all that remains of the building is a sizeable pile of rubble. And smoke. And fire. And death. And destruction.

_No one else is looking. Well, not at me. And not at this particular newsfeed._

_Take a breath..._

_Let it out…_

_And another..._

_Keep going…_

_He's… dead… he's gone… he's gone…_

_Blink… wipe them away now before anyone sees._

I shake my head a little and I feel my brain rattle around a little. It's no use. I'm numb, I feel so alone so, so sad. And I am so fucking angry that I can't even take a breath.

_Just take a breath…_

_And another…_

_It's time…_

_Yes, it is…_

_It's time…_

Slowly, I turn my head. My eyes pass over screens and desks and pointless junk strewn about. And then they settle on Owen and Jack, who are bent over the biomedical monitoring software. They're trying to understand the crazy readings streaming from Torchwood One. They're just getting more impossible with every passing hour.

_"__Major cities across the country have been hit."_

They're arguing, very intent on their conversation and their voices carry easily across the hub. I'm carefully building walls in my mind, and when my castle is done, I add another layer. I know what I have to do—just push it away for now—keep going, keep moving, keep walking, keep breathing...

_Calm. Be calm._

I swallow, clear my desperately dry mouth. With all my masks in place, I lean over Tosh, place a hand on her shoulder. She turns her head, looks up at me and smiles—just a little…reassuring maybe?

If I let them, tears of gratefulness for her unknowing kindness would leak from the edge of my eyes but they're trapped for now and under control. They are dry but my eyes still burn. I need to face this but not right now. I wrap it up, I push the anguish back, stuff it into a tiny corner of my mind—that's for later. _Not now_.

This is just the beginning, after all. There's so much more to come. To do. So I arrange my face into a passive, unreadable mask and I just…get on with it.

Behind me the newscaster prattles on.

_"__Authorities are warning citizens to stay indoors."_

"Tosh," I turn up the corners of my mouth slightly, "can you send _them_ a fax? I'm worried about them getting found. After all this, I'd hate for them to be in danger. Maybe they should get into the cellar? Just to be safe? They won't know what's been going on." I'm ushering her to the old fashioned looking fax machine set up in the corner amidst a collection of ancient office equipment.

"Of course, Ianto," she readily agrees. _Of course she does._ "I'll do it right away."

"Thanks," I pick up my bag, my jacket, I make the muscles on my face look like I'm experiencing an imposition of sorts—s_orry, can't be helped—_or at least, that's the goal. I make a noise that sounds like a typical sigh. "I've got to go out for a little while." I say it quietly, without looking in Jack's direction. I will myself invisible using every little trick Jack's ever taught me.

_Be invisible. You don't see me. I'm small. I'm not here. I am blank, empty._

She looks at me with concern and worry.

"Don't worry," I reassure with a pat on her shoulder, "I won't be too long. I'll call if I get held up." I pat my phone.

She gnaws on her lip, unconvinced. "Are you sure you want to go out right now?" her eyes flash to the closest screen. "It's chaos out there."

Again, I make the appropriate face and sounds. "I have to. It's important. I just need to check on the Inspector. But I'll come right back. I'll see you soon, Tosh." I'm already walking away—_don't mind me, it's already a done deal_—and I add for good measure, "And thanks for keeping watch on them for me."

_That should do it._

_And it does._

"Okay," she smiles again, trusting.

It seems strange to her that I wouldn't tell Jack that I was going out. _Strange_. But well…it's me. So that's pretty standard these days.

* * *

><p><strong>"<strong>**TOSH? JACK'S SCANNING** the hub and frowning a bit. He can't find me, which is unsettling. Plus, he's irritated—a common side-effect of arguing with Owen. So he's impatient too. He was already going to seek me out, perhaps drag me off somewhere private… find some way to soothe each other, like a quick handjob… you know something to reaffirm we're still alive and well.

He felt something…something _painful_ and something _off_ coming from me earlier, but he was distracted with the readings coming out of Torchwood One and pretty focused on trying not to punch Owen in the face at the same time. The only thing on his mind right now though is finding me.

"Hmm?" she looks up.

Now, Jack is really frowning. "Where's Ianto?"

"Oh," her face brightens and then dims, "He said he had something important to do." She answers but has already gone back to her screen, feeling sure he'll understand. "He said…" she hums, "he'll be back soon." She's already refocused and pulling data and rearranging it and there…

Jack tenses right up, you can hear it in his voice. "What did he say exactly?"

Silence. She stops typing and thinks back. She tells him every word she can remember.

Owen slams his open hand down on the nearest surface. "_Fuck_," then he slams the other hand down too.

He hasn't had the time to mention my strange request, what with all the bombings and everything else.

"Ah, Jack?" He braces himself for what he knows will be a staggering display of anger. He tells them about my friend and about the two syringes.

Tosh's eyes go wide, realization flares in her eyes. _He lied to me._

My team mates take a brief moment to swear at me. Their curses are as individual as they are but their overlapping cries are all some form of "Dammit, Ianto!"

A moment later, Owen swears viciously but it's under his breath. He's got his head hung low, tipped forward and he's gripping the edge of the desk like it's a lifeline. "Where 'ave ye gone now?" he mutters. He's feeling guilty and pissed off in equal measure so his eyes are scrunched closed and his jaw is clenched tight. He knew this would come back and bite him in the ass but he had thought he was helping. _Fuck._

Jack turns to Tosh. "Find him, Tosh." But she's already anticipated his request. She nods anyways. "Track his phone, his car. And if that doesn't work pull up every god dammed CCTV camera within a…" his words trail off as he runs up the stairs, and she's pretty sure they turn to mutterings of profanity in more than one of his favourite intergalactic languages.

He finds my journal where I left it. Where I always leave it. _Safe_, in Jack's desk drawer.

Honestly, I never thought Jack would think to find my journal so _quickly_. I stepped aboard the train for London a good half hour ago but the man can drive. What he does with a fast car shouldn't really be called 'driving' though. That seems like such an insufficient word, especially if he's pissed off and on a mission. Then, it becomes a full blown Aggressive Event.

* * *

><p><em>TW Ianto's Journal TW Ianto's Journal TW <em>

* * *

><p><em>June 30, 2006<em>

One day, I will tell Jack my secret—all of it.

Of course, he could probably drag it out of me quite easily. He doesn't have to try very hard to convince me of anything really. And there's quite a lot of surveillance footage to prove he can convince me to shag him almost anywhere. I choose to believe that he won't resort to such high-handed methods though.

In my head, I imagine that he won't treat me like the freak I probably am. Rather, he'll hold my secret close, like something precious, something to be said in the dark and into skin. One day, I will trust every part of myself to him.

But not just yet.

Today, I need to see this through. I have a promise to keep, one that was never spoken or given but it's mine to keep none-the-less.

I'm sorry Jack.

Sorry I couldn't tell you.

But I have to do this by myself.

I love you,

Ianto

* * *

><p><em>TW Ianto's Journal TW Ianto's Journal TW <em>

* * *

><p>He comes down the stairs with it open in his hands. He spits out an angry, "<strong><em>Fuck<em>**," as he comes to a stop in front of Tosh's desk. "**_Fuck_**—it's—it's a fucking **_good-bye_** note." The words are torn out of him, dry and painful, perfectly suited to a throat full of salt and razor blades. He doesn't recognize his own voice.

He looks up and finds both Owen and Tosh looking at him, eyes wide with fear and dread.

"We've got to find him," he says, and the desperation in his eyes is plain for all to see.

A moment later, Tosh makes the boys jump a few centimeters off the ground when she shouts, "_I've got him_." Her voice is at least an octave higher than normal and her heart is firmly lodged in her throat. She saw the fear in Jack's eyes and it terrified her like nothing has in years.

She's well beyond annoyed with my little Houdini impersonation. And for pulling one over on her. She'll make me regret that if—_when_ I come back.

"Good thing you put that tracker on his car, Jack," she mutters, getting more annoyed as she traces my path using her personalized tracker program.

"Where is he?" Owen poses the question before Jack can. Mostly because Jack's still distracted with my journal. His eyes are scanning, page after page, moving back in time and he's getting a really bad feeling about this. He's never snooped before, has never wanted to, has never felt like he needed to. Not **_really_**. But today's different. He can feel it. He's scared. _Why am I surprised? Christ, I should have known this would happen.._. He vehemently berates himself for several moments before his thoughts come to the conclusion that he _did_ know I was in trouble, over my head even but he thought we'd have more time to figure out a plan…together. The feeling in his gut is… surprisingly painful. It's… it's like he's had a chunk of an organ yanked out. That's surprising too. Just the thought of losing me is enough to cause him pain. He realises he's in way deeper than he ever meant to be.

She frowns. There's so much data, it's hard to narrow it down. But she knows me so she uses that to calculate the most probable route. _What would I be doing? Where would I go? _It's obvious by now that I'm not meeting the Inspector. She lets out the lungful of air she was holding in. "He's parked at the train station."

"Where the _hell_ is he headed?" Once again, Owen takes the words right out of Jack's mouth.

She starts fast forwarding through the digital CCTV footage from about an hour ago. They can see I was on the platform.

"Access all the cams on the platform. Here lemme take a look," says Jack as he darts across the room. He turns to Owen, "Owen, bring up ticket purchases. Scan for credit cards first." He's speaking quickly, like they're in the middle of a fire fight.

"Where do you think he's going Jack?" Owen's drowning in guilt and he doesn't know what to do to make the feeling go away.

Jack runs a hand over his face, it ends up at the back of his neck.

He lets out a slow, even breath. "Tosh what's the next departure time for London?"

"Checking…" she bites out. "Four minutes," she says quickly, "then thirty minutes."

"Any speed trains?"

She grimaces, "No—just the one he was on." She's found me on CCTV, just as I'm boarding the train.

A moment later, Tosh finally has my phone tracker up on her second screen. But it tells them nothing they don't already suspect.

"Fuck. Looks like I'm driving. See you later, kids." He's in and out of his office in under a minute. He pulls on his coat as he runs down the stairs.

Tosh stands up and hollers after him at the top of her lungs, "BRING HIM BACK JACK!"

He nods and just waves behind him as he runs through the crack in the rolling cog wheel door, with his coat flapping and a rictus scowl on his face that does not bode well for the world at large. Especially, anyone unfortunate to be on the roads today.

With his head in his hands, Owen shouts at the CCTV camera showing me pale and fidgeting on the speed train to London.

"I don't know why you didn't just _tell me,_" Owen says, clearly annoyed, with himself, with me. He turns to Tosh, "He's so damn secretive," he complains loudly.

Then, in a quiet, slightly hurt voice, he asks plaintively, "Doesn't he know he _can_ trust us?"

* * *

><p><em>Continued in…I'm a Stalker, Sue Me<em>


	57. C48 I'm a Stalker, Sue Me

**_48 - I'm a stalker, Sue Me_**

**W/C**: 2800sh  
><strong>Warningsspoilers/content**: some profanity and be warned that this is basically a present tense stream of consciousness. There are references to: DW 2.12, 2.13, _Army of Ghosts, Doomsday_. Battle of Canary Wharf.  
><strong>Summary<strong>: By now, Ianto should know who he can count on  
><strong>Characters<strong>: Ianto, immortal-Jack  
><strong>Ianto's New Timeline<strong>: June 30, 2006  
><strong>AN: **this is the lead up** -** still**  
><strong>

* * *

><p><strong>MY TRAIN PULLS<strong> into Paddington Station in just under two hours. I've made good time but when the doors open it's utter chaos on the platform.

There are flashing lights and a warning message broadcasting from the speakers, informing us that the busses aren't running due to a city-wide emergency alert. Everything's shut down.

We're told to stay indoors, not to venture outside. It's all very vague, carefully chosen language that's obviously been crafted by some lower level politician.

On a good day, I'd be able to make it to Canary Wharf in about 25 minutes—if I had a car. But I don't and I'm pretty sure the taxis aren't running either. I start walking and I'm half way down London Street before I can liberate myself some suitable transportation. The doors are unlocked and it's parked in a rather vulnerable location—it's shaded with overhanging trees—and I figure if my line of sight is blocked then so is everyone else's. Besides, the few people I can see are more focused on getting inside than protecting some stranger's rusted, second-hand Jetta.

I've got the cover off of the ignition tumbler and located the positive and negative wires before I even need my multi-tool. From there it's simple enough to activate the starter. I thank my lucky stars and Jack of course, for teaching me how hot wire a car.

Traffic is erratic. Some streets are almost flowing normally for this time of day but once I cross over onto the A1203 there's evidence of panic and a lot of abandoned cars that require my attention if I plan on avoiding an untimely collision. The little Jetta swerves well and it's small enough to get me where I'm going, hopefully in one piece.

Westferry Road is completely blocked off and the local constabulary is out in full force between here and the roundabout. I've got to ditch the car and go the rest of the way on foot.

I'm armed, _excessively_ and far too twitchy to be wielding any kind of firearm. I'm not looking for a fight, in fact I plan on doing my level best to avoid any confrontations if I can help it. I just need to get to the building. I'll worry about what to do next, once I get there.

_One step at a time. One foot in front of the other…_

I make my way between the buildings, climbing over fences and trampling through gardens until I'm out of cover.

_Fuck_

Obviously, I'm not going in the front door. I'm not sure how many Cybermen are still active and I'd be a sitting duck running out in the open like that. But it's a huge tower and far too many of its inhabitants have a smoking habit to be able to maintain security on all the doors. They always jam the lock on at least one door so they can get back in without anyone seeing them.

_Smokers – at least they're predictable._

I've found my security weak spot and all I need to do is slip in, find the entrance to the air ducts and then make my way up to fortieth floor. But I'm fucking frozen here—I have to bend over to catch my breath. I'm fighting nausea and a headache of epic proportions and I can feel my last meal protesting the turbulent state of my stomach.

_Fucking hell…it figures…I've finally made it to this point and now I'm losing my shit._

_Just breath…_

_Yes, that's it…_

_Breathe in…_

_Breathe out…_

_Right. The plan. I need a plan._

* * *

><p><strong>YOUR AVERAGE PERSON<strong> takes about two hours and forty minutes to drive all the way from Cardiff to London but Jack is definitely not your average guy. I'm not sure if he'll follow me, not really. Cardiff is a tragic fucking mess and it's possible that he'll stay put and help out where he can do the greatest good.

_I'm sure they need him. _

_They deserve his help. _

_Not sure if I do._

Self-loathing not withstanding, I've managed to pull it together a bit but I've still got my head hanging down between my shoulders and my eyes squeezed shut in an attempt to make the pain in my head subside enough so that I can continue on. I can feel the gritty rough brick scraping the palms of my hands and my fingertips as I flex and clench at the side of the building. My deep, depressing, self-deluded rumination lasts a whole twelve minutes because that's how long it takes him to find me.

It's the crunch of gravel that startles me out of my reverie.

_Fuck_

I spin around, gun cocked and raised, driven by instinct alone. It only takes a second or two before the sound of my name and the sight of that familiar face are processed by my staggering and obviously overtaxed brain. "_Jack_," his name comes out on a sigh and I lower my gun. I take in his expression and I feel a bit defensive. He's out of breath and has a suitably irritated look on his face. And now that I think of it, my name sounded like both a question and a recrimination.

If it were anyone else, I'd say, "Don't fucking judge me," but it's Jack, love of my ridiculously entangled lives, so I actually say, "I didn't ask you to come."

_Christ…I just hope he doesn't try dragging me away from here._

Maybe it's our connection, maybe he's read me, my mind, my thoughts or maybe he just knows me well enough because he smiles then and says, "I _know_. I came anyway."

_How are you even real?_

Then his little smile becomes a bright cheeky grin, and I know for certain he's just read my thoughts.

Remembering to breathe in as well as out, I can't help the feeling of relief that washes over me. "I can't believe you followed me."

The bright smile fades and so do his eyes.

_Fuck, my stupid mouth. _

I just insulted him, so I'd better change my tune. "You're a bit of a stalker," I accuse lightly.

"Excuse me… but I'm an **_excellent_** stalker," he says, earning an epic orbital roll in exchange. He sounds so damn proud of himself and the look on my face is nothing but fond.

I can't help it. Before long, I'm smiling against my will. "It's creepy," I tell him because it won't do any good to encourage him.

His eyebrows do that quirky thing, "_Deal_ with it," he says and I know he's serious. Then he steps into my space, which is really his space too, because I've already given it to him. I'm pretty sure I've already given him almost everything I have, by this point.

_Well, not this_, I remind myself guiltily.

No, this is mine alone.

Isn't it?

But I do need him and we both know it. "I can do that," I agree solemnly.

He looks into my eyes and it's clear that he's concerned and doesn't like what he sees. There's a long silence while I tuck my head against his chest and just breathe.

"_You came_," I whisper brokenly, "thank you." I'm almost overcome by the feeling in my chest. I can't imagine how I look. My damn eyes. It feels like I've been crying for days. Won't they just stop running? Stupid eyes.

He frowns again, "Of _course_ I came," he snaps, letting a bit of the anger and fear and frustration bleed through but at the same time he hugs me close because he's also feeling love and protectiveness. "What are you doing here Ianto? Why are you walking into a warzone?" He cranes his neck so he can look up at the building standing before us. He shakes his head and grimaces at the smoke and broken glass and twisted steel. "Are you _trying_ to get yourself killed?"

_I've got to do this. _

I shake my head from side to side and try to take a defensive step back. "I'll be fine," I reassure, or try to. It's not a convincing argument and he makes his position clear through the deepening frown and the vice like grip of his arms around me. "Listen, I've got to go in there but you don't. You could just…wait here for me or somewhere more secure…"

_Damn, this is what I was worried about. _

I need to put my foot down so I push away and make it clear I mean business with a scowl of my own.

"Let go," I tell him. He does but he's frustrated and confused. I need to make him see and I need to do it now because I know from experience, he doesn't deal well with either of those emotions. "I have to go in there…"

"Why? Why are you going in _there_?" He's not letting me out of his grip but now it's light and soothing, the touch a gentle reminder that I'm not alone.

"I have a promise to keep." I say through clenched teeth. I'm tense and ready to snap. I take a quick breath before I pour out my words, "I don't want to. _Believe_ me. With my whole being. I don't want to. But I have to, Jack. And I won't let you stop me. I'm _serious_. This is one of those things. You know, a timeline thing? And it's … one of the things that leaves me feeling hollow and shaking with fucking terror in the middle of the night. I don't want to face this…god…so much…but it's eating away at me. Has done for years."

He's nodding and I know he understands. He's one of the few that can. He traces his thumb along the shallow dent in my chin. "But you _have_ to," he whispers, still nodding. He huffs out a lungful of air and presses his lips together until they're pressed into a tight line. I can see the transformation taking place, across his body, his face, his eyes. It's reluctant understanding.

He knows an undeniable truth when he hears one. He knows that I'm stubborn and unrelenting when I've set my mind on something. He's pretty practical most of the time and that's clearly what's happening here. It's no use fighting me on this. I've already proven that I'm willing and able to do it by myself. So he's probably asking himself, 'what's the point?'

I've been dreading this since…forever…from the second I realized that the only thing I could do for her was end her suffering. I've tried to come up with alternatives but none of them were anywhere near viable. So all that was left was a horrible choice.

_Mercy._

_At least, I can be a vessel of mercy._

I figure if I keep telling myself this, I'll eventually believe it.

I know I will always force myself to face these soul gnawing fears. And far too often, I will try to do them all on my own. He will follow me—force himself on me—force me to accept his help—because loving me has left him no choice. It's exactly the same for me and I think he knows that.

Once again I've demonstrated just how stupid I can actually be and how completely I can trust Jack to have my back. Apparently, this is true even when I run away from him.

"Yes," I whisper, "I do." Our gazes are locked, seeking, searching for something in each other's eyes. He's either found what he's looking for or he's just satisfied that I'm steady enough to move forward. When he lifts a warm hand to my cheek I've got to close my eyes.

"Understood." A smile. "_I'm coming_." More forcefully.

"Okay. But you have to let me do what I came here to do."

"And what is that?"

I shake my head—it would _gut_ me to say it now—I can't. I can't say it.

_No fucking way am I saying this shit out loud. Not yet._

He frowns and I know he heard that. "You'll see. It's time." I tilt my head back and peer up at the smoking ruin before us. There's black greasy smoke seeping from the enormous holes torn in the metal exo-structure of the tower. It's still loud but it's a hell of a lot quieter than it was an hour ago, when there were fucking Cybermen stomping around picking people up off the streets and god dammed Daleks flying around meting out death and destruction.

"I'm with you." He takes my hand and we walk into the smoking pits of hell together.

* * *

><p><strong>EVERYWHERE WE LOOK<strong> there is smoke and rubble. And death. Scorch marks blacken the walls of the building. He recognizes them immediately and I hear a sharp intake of breath. "Daleks," he whispers knowingly.

I keep walking. Adrenalin fuels me, propels me forward.

"Ianto, stop!" he shouts. He has to run a few steps to catch up with me and when he's close enough he grabs my arm and tries to hold me back.

"You can't go in there. There are probably still Daleks and Cybermen up there. We don't even have decent weapons." He tries to convince me to run away like any logical person would do. I reach into my bag and pass him a very large gun.

He takes it with a frown. I pull out of his grip and patiently explain again, "There's something I have to do Jack. Come or don't, but I have to go in there."

"They're going to _kill you_, Ianto," he wails. I can see genuine terror in his eyes.

"No, Jack they won't. All of the Daleks have already left. The Doctor's done something." I tell him about the void and the alternate universe. I do NOT tell him about Rose.

He's not satisfied with my explanation and wants more information than I have to give. He keeps up with me and starts shooting questions at me. "What's happening? Where did they go? What about all the people in the tower? Dammit Ianto—wait, what about the Cybermen?"

"There might be a few stragglers. We'll have to take them out. Keep your eyes open. As for the others… there's nothing we can do Jack, not now, but there's something I have to be there for – right at the end of it all. I can't miss this."

"Tell me. Let me help you." He begs in earnest still gripping my arm for dear life, like he's scared I might be torn away from him at any moment.

"It's like waiting for the Doctor to appear in front of you…" I mumble, sounding a little bitter, "not something that comes around twice in a lifetime." I take a deep steadying breath. "Come on, Jack. I need to get up to the top." There's a bit of a silence while we climb several sets of stairs. Finally, I add, "I have a debt to repay."

He doesn't miss it. "What kind of debt?" he asks with tangible trepidation. He can't fathom who I'd owe such a debt to; who would demand payment in the middle this… hell hole… and frankly if he thinks about it too hard… he's almost afraid of my answer and what it might mean.

"You'll see when we get there." I tell him quietly. I have to stifle the shutter that racks through my body. I'm convinced that if I open my mouth now and start talking, all that will come out is some kind of inhuman wail.

We have to climb at least forty floors and it's slow going, and really fucking awful. I've lost track of the dead, how many mangled bodies I've had to step over to get where I'm going but I just keep on going. With Jack here, I feel a hell of a lot more confident. If I were alone, I'd be climbing through the fucking air ducts because I _do_ have a healthy self-preservation instinct, regardless of what anyone says.

We're climbing side by side somewhere between the thirty-second and thirty-third floor when I think to warn him, "It's gonna be bad Jack… so bad – like nothing you've ever seen." Then I look at him, really look and I change my mind. "Well… maybe you have… once or twice." Sometimes I forget. Sometimes I can't look at him with anything but pity and horror on his behalf, like right now. "You don't have to come with me." I don't want to add to his nightmares.

He searches my eyes, desperate for a clue and hardly pauses before he shakes his head. "Come on, let's go. We've got seven more floors to climb."

_Continued in… Ignored Blessings_


	58. C49 Ignored Blessings

_**49 - Ignored Blessings**_

W/C: 2000ish  
>Warningsspoilers/content: some profanity and be warned that this is basically a present tense stream of consciousness. There are references to: DW 2.12, 2.13, _Army of Ghosts, Doomsday_. Battle of Canary Wharf.  
>Summary: Jack follows Ianto into hell<br>Characters: Ianto, immortal-Jack, Lisa  
>Ianto's New Timeline: June 30, 2006<br>A/N: Have you had your fill of angst today? Heads up: This chapter may have taken me around 3 months to polish because I kept getting depressed as I was writing.

* * *

><p><strong>WE MAKE OUR WAY<strong> through debris strewn hallways, up smoke-filled stair cases and everywhere bodies lie broken and bloody. We simply have to step over them and at times are forced to push them to the side. I try very hard not to look at their faces, or into their hollow eyes.

The sight is horrifying, yes, but it's the smell that sickens me the most. The air is thick with the tangy, metallic scent of freshly spilled blood and the rancid choking smell of charred flesh.

Occasionally, we hear moans or screams of anguish and pain; hear the dying plead, "Please just _kill_ me," too many times to count. I lose track of how many times Jack gives them the mercy they beg for but I know for certain I flinch every time a shot is fired.

I lead the way but my eyes are blurred, my sight is narrowed to a focussed point; all else is excluded, all except my search for her. We finally make it up to the executive floor where the Ghost Shift controls were installed, where Lisa worked, where I am sure I'll find her body.

Up here, the air is stifling, more so than below. There seems to be more ash and soot and smoke… and then I realize… it's _human remains_ that clog the air and I shudder.

_We're breathing in the dead. _

We find Lisa, strapped to a conversion unit and she's still clinging to life. I find myself kneeling on the ground next to her broken body. I take her hand gently in mine and when I look down at her delicate fingers, I realize that she's wearing an engagement ring.

"Isn't that wonderful." I force a smile and try my best to sooth. "You're engaged."

"He's dead," she says blankly. "They killed him." She moans as pain shoots through her body. "He's dead," she cries again. "Why aren't I dead yet?" Every word is a drawn out painful moan.

_You are_, I think. "I'm…I'm not sure," I say between gasps, "but…they've done a lot of damage." I need to steel myself, I need to sound calm. She needs that. And she deserves the truth. She hates lies more than anything. But Christ, it's hard getting the words out.

"They tried to turn me into a monster," she whimpers, her voice a painful rasp between shallow breaths. "Did they… finish?"

_Yes, close enough_, I think. "Almost." I tell her, my voice tight with anguish. She looks at me then, into my eyes and of course there isn't any recognition. I expected that but the loss still aches.

_Oh, god. I've missed you._

She clenches her eyes tight, her face distorts and I watch as rage boils up to the surface. All throughout her body, her muscles are spasming with random electrical impulses, driven by the computer virus infecting every pore of her body. She's trying to fight them. But it's a losing battle.

"I'm going to unplug you now," I whisper. "It…it…it shouldn't hurt but ... here, let me give you something for the pain." I reach into my breast pocket and take out the first syringe.

"Thank… you... It…it… _hurts_," she pants between each word.

She closes her eyes as the first cooling wave of the anesthetic takes hold. After a few moments, her facial muscles seem to relax a bit.

"What's your name?" she whispers between still clenched teeth.

I squeeze my eyes tight, push the burning tears out. Then I meet her eyes. "Ianto. My name's Ianto Jones."

"I'm Lisa."

I smile. "Yes. **_Lisa_**." I say her name, I imbue it with all the love I've ever held for her. "It's good to meet you." I give her hand a little squeeze.

"You're crying," she points out. "I'm going to die aren't I?" she asks and her voice is so small.

"Yes," I whisper, "I'm afraid so."

I hear a sharp intake of breath from behind me and then the rustling of Jack's coat as he shifts uncomfortably from foot to foot.

"I'm scared," she says, a mere rasp of breath between cracked and bloodied lips.

"I'll stay with you," I tell her firmly, trying to reassure. "You _won't_ be alone."

"Thank you, Ianto."

I have to close my eyes when she says my name. I didn't expect it to hurt so much. I open my eyes and climb to my feet. Then I lean closer to her face so she can see me better. "You are so welcome Lisa. It's the least I can do for you."

I watch, my eyes fixed on hers and she smiles a little but then a moment later her glassy eyes slide shut. "I'm… sleepy." She's slipping away

"It's the medicine. Is it helping with the pain?"

"Yes, a little," she manages to reply. "I can't feel my legs. I'm so cold."

"I don't have a blanket." I berate myself for not thinking ahead.

"Here," urges Jack, his voice pitched low, meant for my ears only, "My coat is warm." He doesn't step forward, I notice. He's trying to stay out of her line of sight.

"Thanks, Jack," I whisper back.

He nods.

"Mmm…be-h-r," she whispers once the comforting weight of Jack's coat is settled over her broken body and I'm so thankful when she releases a stuttering sigh.

"Good," I say with the kind of forced sounding confidence used only at one's deathbed. "Good." My tears are blinding as they run unbidden down my face. I can't stop them and I just don't care anymore.

"Lisa? I want you to remember something for me." I wait until her eyes flutter open a crack and meet mine again. Then I pour every drop of love I ever held for her into my words. "You… _you were loved_."

She manages to look at me one last time and she smiles, just a little, just a little turn up at the edges. It's enough. I grip her hand fiercely as she slips away, the drug finally taking her under.

Reluctantly, I let go of her hand and place it carefully on the table next to her bared thigh. Then I quickly unplug the machine from the power source. Inside, I fervently pray that she won't feel another moment's pain.

As the mechanical whirring slows, so does her breathing. But it's not enough. It'll take hours for her to die, slowly suffocating.

I stand there, numb and trembling, obviously in shock, and think of the second injection, the one that'll stop her heart and finish what the Cybermen have started. I press my hand to my chest, just over my aching heart and claw at the fabric of my suit jacket. I take a series of deep breaths. It's unpleasant. I can still taste the dead in the air.

Finally, I let my head drop forward and my eyes slide shut. Then I reach into my pocket once again and gingerly pull out the second injection. But before I can uncap the lid, I start to sob.

Jack steps out of the shadow and wraps his arms around me. The racking shudders leave me bereft and gasping for breath. He holds me for several moments before asking, "What is that?" But I think he already knows.

I try my very best to calm myself but I'm afraid I just can't find any calm left within me. It takes me several tries to speak but when I do, I say, "It'll stop her heart. She'll die quickly, painlessly." I rub at my face with my free hand, frustrated now with the endless tears and snot. "Oh, damn. I can't see, Jack. I can't stop the tears. I just can't…"

"Here," he says gently, "let me do it." He wraps a loose hand over mine, the one holding the syringe, "Give it to me." Then he uncurls it and holds it palm up out before me, squeezing my shoulder with the other.

When I crane my neck and look into his eyes all I see is compassion. I can let him do this for me. I can. He's the only one who can. "Thank you, Jack. You have no idea…" I step into his arms and tuck my head under his chin.

I feel it as he shakes his head, his chin drags back and forth across my temple. "It's okay," he insists. Then he lets go and steps away with the syringe in his grasp. He leans forward, over her prone body and with confidence and economy, he finds the carotid artery in her neck and presses the plunger.

I touch her face for the last time and kiss her gently on her already cooling lips. My tears fall on her lovely mocha skin and drip to the floor as I pull away. I cry. I cry harder than I've ever cried in my life. I wait, holding her wrist. It's not long until her pulse finally slows to a stop.

Jack leans forward and checks her throat for a pulse. He purses his lips and nods reluctantly. "She's gone," he tells me.

"I know," I whisper, feeling numb, almost completely detached from my body.

He makes his way around the table so he can stand beside me. "Who was she?" he asks gently.

"I loved her, in another life." The words rasp out between sobs. "She was the love of my life. She didn't deserve this. The least I could do was end her suffering."

"Oh, _Ianto_. I'm so sorry." He holds me until the sobbing slows and the strangled sounds of agony become more distant.

I can't keep my feet, my legs crumble beneath me until I slide to the floor. Knowing that her lifeless body is cooling above me, I weep for all that has never been; for every blessing I failed to embrace. I feel the heavy weight bearing down upon my soul of every single blessing that I have ignored. And now she's dead, again.

She was never mine, this time. But I still feel the love I once had for her, with her. It's still real to me.

He waits a long time in silence, just holding me, supporting me and then finally he whispers, "Ianto, do you mean the other timeline?" He hates to ask but he's so confused. His chest is tight with sorrow and something else; an unfamiliar emotion. One he hasn't experienced in a long time.

He holds me while I mourn someone else, someone I said _I loved. _ He feels jealousy burning in his gut and it's an unpleasant sensation. His question was selfish, he knows it, but he's confused, and scared that he might have just lost a part of me to a dead woman. After all, I have all but run away to be with her in her final moments. I didn't even trust him—didn't tell him—not a word.

"I nod my head. I'll explain, I promise but not right now, _please_," I beg.

"Of course." He nods, clamps his lips and his curiosity down for the time being. His ears perk up and his skin tingles in warning. He hears a loud bang in the distance. "We have to go. I hear gunfire."

"That'll be UNIT," I rasp in agreement. "The execution squad," I explain when I see the question on his face.

Jack arches an eyebrow. _Of course. It makes perfect sense_, he thinks. He looks around. There're too many who were partially converted. They have to make sure there aren't any strays left behind. Just one Cyberman, just one Dalek and the world will be in peril.

With a great deal of effort, my thoughts turn to other, more practical concerns. "They're going to need our help combing through the debris. There are some things down in the vaults that you'll want Jack." I sigh. "We should call Tosh and Owen. We'll need transport. There are so many things just lying about in the archives. A few things we could use, actually." I'm starting to ramble, my words spill out. I'm still in shock but at least I'm feeling numb now.

"Okay, but let's get out of here first." Jack knows that I'm right but his priority right now is to get me out of this horror first. We make our way out of the devastation and not once are we stopped by UNIT personnel. They have their hands full. I still flinch every time I hear a shot ring out.


	59. C50 I Owe You a Story

_**50 - I Owe You a Story**_

**W/C**: 2200ish  
><strong>Warningsspoilers/content**: some profanity and be warned that we have shifted back to past tense now that the crisis has passed. There are vague references to: DW 2.12, 2.13, _Army of Ghosts, Doomsday_.  
><strong>Summary<strong>: our boys regroup at a nearby hotel  
><strong>Characters<strong>: Ianto, immortal-Jack  
><strong>Ianto's New Timeline<strong>: June 30, 2006 – July 1, 2006

* * *

><p><strong>SOMEHOW WE ENDED <strong>up at a hotel not ten blocks away. I stumbled through the door to our suite just as my ragged, exhausted body finally reached its limit and I collapsed fully clothed onto the nearest surface. By chance, it happened to be a bed.

Jack came through the door following close behind. For a moment he considered leaving me there where I'd fallen but he couldn't bear the thought of me waking up to find myself covered in Lisa's blood, smelling of smoke and soot and my skin coated with the airborne ashes of the recently exterminated dead.

He took hold of my left foot and pulled off my shoe, then he removed the right. He pulled and prodded, rolled and turned my body until he'd removed the torn and bloodied clothing which he promptly discarded. He heaved me up off the bed, forcing me into the bathroom and sat me on the toilet seat. I just sat there, my mind fuzzy and my eyes unwilling to open. _I can't..._ I felt him wash my face, neck and hands. The cloth was warm and soft, his touch soothing. Then he half carried me back to the other room and pressed me down onto the bed. "Rest," he said. "Just for a little while," he assured me when I looked like I might argue. "I'll call Tosh and Owen now."

He dialled the hub while I hovered on the rim of consciousness. My thoughts were racing and blurry, full of blood and gunfire. My body shook and twitched, nerves and muscles ravaged and exhausted from the strain of facing my long feared daemons. But as I drifted away I didn't feel alone. The last thing I recall before I succumbed to unconsciousness was the sensation of a gentle, almost reverent touch stroking my forehead.

**I WOKE TO** the smell of liquid comfort and greasy bread. Instinctively, I inhaled deeply and after a few foggy moments my eyes reluctantly fluttered open. I'd slept hard, once I finally fell asleep, my body eerily still as I lay on the slightly lumpy mattress for what felt like far too long. At first it was just my muscles that ached and complained from an unholy combination of excessive overuse and adrenalin followed by prolonged stillness. But the generalized ache was quickly accompanied by a sharp stabbing pain right behind my eyes. A low groan escaped my lips as I rolled over.

Jack was sitting in a low back chair, our breakfast spread out before him. "Good morning, " he said softly. His smile was warm and honest, a welcomed greeting after the horrors that had been replaying, over and over again, while I slept. "I thought maybe the smell of coffee would wake you up. Did you sleep okay?" he asked gently.

I nodded silently. On a good day, I'm not exactly what you would call 'Mr. Cheerful' when I first wake up and this day was far worse than usual. I felt drawn and empty and my body weighed down by an all-encompassing lassitude that was thick and difficult to wade through.

He patted the comfortable looking chair next to him and smiled encouragingly. "I got a few hours of shut eye myself," he explained in a too-chipper voice. "You didn't even roll over once."

"How long did I sleep?" My voice rasped painfully from dryness and disuse. He passed me a short glass of juice and I took it gratefully.

"Oh… 'bout ten hours."

"No shit?"

"You were exhausted," he protested. "Come on have something to eat." He patted the chair again.

I slipped into the lushly cushioned arm chair and let my head drop backwards against the headrest as I tried futilely to stretch out my aching neck. Thankfully, he'd already poured the coffee so all I had to do was get it to my mouth and swallow. My eyelids were still unnaturally heavy though and it was a struggle to keep them open. Their new natural state appeared to be in the closed position. It just took too much energy to keep them open and besides the light really hurt. At least my throat was soothed a bit as the hot liquid slid down my esophagus, temporarily coating the surface. As the sensation faded it sent my attention inwards and it became pretty clear that I wasn't in very good shape. My pulse was erratic; one minute my heart felt like it was racing and the next there was a silence as it paused too long between beats. I'll bet my chest was hardly moving because my breaths were far too shallow. I was so tired, unnaturally so. It seemed that a deep bottomless void had slipped inside while I slept and now it lied trapped between the cells of my body.

We ate slowly in companionable silence but I was dreading the conversation that loomed ahead – _Lisa_. I knew he had to be dying of curiosity and I was running out of time. It was probably for the best anyways. Time to get it over with.

It had to be killing him. I took a closer look from between my scrunched eyes and I could see how wound up he really was. He was trying so hard to be patient. He was trying to look happy - but not too happy. He was trying to put me at ease – but he still wanted me alert. He was trying to look patient – but he was dying inside with curiosity and unbeknownst to me, a tiny bit of fear, followed by an ugly slice of jealousy which always brought out a bit of self-loathing in him. So you know, it was just one big happy party in Jack's head.

He hated this feeling of weakness. He'd always hated it in others, never thought he'd feel this way. _Jealousy. _He'd always held such scorn for others who feared losing what they had, who feared losing their lover. He told himself sternly _Captain_ _Jack Harkness doesn't DO jealousy! _

By the time I'd finished my breakfast, I could feel his emotions bubbling under the surface like a sunspot and I was pretty sure he was going to erupt rather violently if I didn't start talking soon.

I swallowed nervously, cleared my throat, "So…I ah…hmm." I frowned. _Not a good start._ I took a deep breath and let it out. I managed to look him in the eye this time. "Thank you. Thank you for coming—no listen," I held up my hand, "Please. Just…just let me…" I motioned vaguely with my hand and he nodded, "I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I'm sorry I left without saying…goodbye—I wasn't thinking very clearly by that point. I…I just realized that the Inspector's station house was levelled and he's probably dead…so…so I just needed to leave. I needed to get here and get this finished." I finally inhaled. I could see how he wanted to comfort me but the warning in my eyes made him hold back. I was just barely holding it together. I had no idea how he was able to stay quiet but I was really grateful that he let me ramble.

I guess I needed to get this out.

I filled my lungs and closed my eyes for a moment so I could organize my thoughts. When I felt his warm hand wrap around mine my eyes came open and I manage to turn up the corners of my mouth slightly but my vision started to blur.

_Thank you._

"She…" I was hit with a wave of loss, "She was my fiancé." My heart was pounding too fast I think. I needed to take a moment. He just held my hand and waited.

_I'm here, Ianto. Take your time._

"We were _so happy_," I whispered, looking down at our joined hands. When I looked up I could see something flash across Jack's face and it looked like pain. Which is precisely why I'd never spoken to him about this before but it couldn't be helped—not today. "We were planning our wedding when the Ghost Shift started. She worked on the top floor. She was really good with computers." Tears were starting to run down my neck but I really couldn't be bothered to mop them up.

"I…I…worked in the archives. Cataloguing and organizing a part of the _Dangerous Collection_." It was clear from the way I say it, that there were air quotes around that ridiculous name. It's not like there were any safe collections at Torchwood One.

I stopped talking and stared off into space for a moment. I remembered that day all over again. "We were going to meet for lunch," I whispered.

"I was in the vaults when it… happened. We got locked in. It's the only reason I survived." Finally, I looked up at his face. There were tears on his cheeks as well.

"She… I… I tried to save her. Fix her. Reverse it. I… I didn't… couldn't stop… I couldn't see… she started changing… subtly at first… then she started to forget… things… get them wrong. But I didn't see… didn't want to I guess. I made a foolish, dangerous mistake Jack." I sighed and it rattled wetly in my chest.

"I kept her alive," my voice was a mere whisper, "and I almost got us all killed." My lips were pressed together and I didn't know what else to say. He'd been quiet for a long time and I was really nervous about how he was going to react.

I waited. He looked down at our entwined hands and I could see that he was processing what I'd just told him. By the time he finally spoke, I'd bitten several patches of skin raw on the inside of my lower lip.

"So… this was you… doing the right thing. Fixing a mistake." I squeezed my eyes tight and my mouth fell open, letting a choked gasp fall out.

I nodded and searched his face.

"She… she… _Christ_, Ianto." He pulled me towards him and we met half way. He pressed his forehead against mine and our breaths mingled. After a moment he said, "I can't even… imagine how hard this was for you." He gripped the edge of my jaw and I leaned into his touch slightly. "I just wish you had told me. I would have helped you."

I shook my head and sighed, "No. No you wouldn't have. You would've tried to stop me—"

He started to protest but stopped before he'd even started. "—Only at first," he finally said and we both smiled a bit at that. His was sheepish. Mine. Well, mine was just sad. He knew I was right. "Okay. So I would have tried to stop you… a lot."

"I'm still sorry… I want to tell you about these things, Jack. I do. But it's weird. I'm with you. I love you. I made my choice. Here—_now_, I've never even met her before today. But at the same time, I remember our… relationship… I remember how I felt. It's real. Just as real as how I feel about you."

He nodded his head quickly, clearly understanding and it seemed that he had a better handle on my inner turmoil than I ever thought he could. "Ya. That's…" he shook his head, searching for the right words. "That's… got to be so confusing," he finished. "So..." he gave me a raised brow. "Is… that what you needed to do? Was that your…" he flinched, "Your debt?" He let out a quick breath and it looked like he regretted his words.

I knew he'd read my journal.

He looked… ashamed and when he finally met my eyes again I could see that he was afraid I'd be mad at him.

"Jack. Hey… it's okay." I gripped his hand with both of mine.

"What?"

"That you read it. My journal. It's okay. I'm not… mad."

A brief silence hung between us and then his eyes narrowed and his lips thinned into a hard straight line. I could almost see the conflicting thoughts racing through his mind. And then he just snapped. "You **_fucking_** scared the **_hell_** out of me," he barked and his anger shouldn't have caught me off guard because I'd been expecting it but it did. I started to pull away but he was quicker. He all but hauled me into his arms. "I thought… it was like a _goodbye_ note. I was so fucking scared that you'd…" He couldn't finish the sentence. Instead, he just held me tighter.

I couldn't believe how stupid I felt. He'd thought I was going to… kill myself? _Holy fuck._ No wonder he was angry. I swallowed loudly and tightened my grip. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry I scared you. It wasn't meant as a Goodbye Note." I cupped the back of his head gently and sought out his gaze. "I just… sometimes I write… sort of… to you. I write things that I'd like to say but I'm too… _something_… that I can't." I didn't think I was expressing myself very well. I was so fucking tired. I was definitely not operating at my peak.

"I may have read… several… pages," he said tentatively.

I couldn't help smiling. He was just… so… Jack. He was perfect.

"It's okay. It's probably for the best."

He answered with a hum.

We sat there for a while, not speaking, just holding each other.

* * *

><p>Continued in Chapter 51: A Little Spark in the Dark<p> 


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